by Lisa Jackson
“But you were going to call first.”
“Well, I found directions on the Internet and thought I’d take a chance! This is great,” she added. She reached down for the handle of her roll bag. “It’s so …”
“Un-Tucson?”
“Yeah, maybe that’s it,” Sarah said, taking in everything. She’d lost weight since Olivia had seen her and her hair was shorter and a deeper shade of red, but her eyes said it all. Worry lines had sprouted near the corners and bluish circles made them appear haunted. “I was going to say it was so remote and isolated … in the middle of no-damned where.”
“Home sweet home,” Olivia teased as Sarah held her at arm’s length.
“You look great.”
“You, too.”
“Don’t lie. I know what I look like.” They each carried a bag inside, and as they passed the bookcase, Sarah glanced into the mirror mounted above. “Ugh. Look at that. I’ve aged twenty years in the last one.” She shook her head. “All this stuff with Leo is killing me. I can’t believe he wants a damned divorce.”
“Let’s not talk about it just yet. We’ve got plenty of time.” She started for the stairs. “Here, follow me, I’ll take you to your room.”
“Just like the bellman at the Ritz.”
“Exactly.”
Sarah managed a small laugh as she climbed the stairs and deposited her things in the second bedroom. But a few minutes later, when they were downstairs drinking coffee laced with Baileys, she slipped into her dark mood again. “If I can’t get hold of Leo, I’m going to have to get an attorney,” she admitted and looked out the window to the bayou. Sunlight battled through a thin mist rising between the skeletal branches of the scrub oak and cypress.
“You should anyway. Just to know your rights. You need someone in your corner.”
“I suppose,” Sarah said, not sounding convinced as she dropped a hand and scratched Hairy behind his ears. The dog stretched his neck, eager for the attention. “I never, never, never thought I’d be getting a divorce. It’s just not something I believe in.”
“I know, but Leo’s making it damned hard for you to stay married.” Olivia finished her coffee as Chia made deep-throated noises from her cage.
“You’ve got yourself a menagerie here, don’t you?”
“Inherited both pets. From Grannie. But you know, now I couldn’t live without ‘em.” As if he understood he was the subject of conversation, Hairy S thumped his tail against the floorboards.
“I’m … I’m not really into animals,” Sarah admitted.
“I know, but mine are harmless, believe me. Well, unless you get your nose too close to Chia’s cage.”
“No chance of that. And him?” She motioned with one finger to the dog.
“A pussycat, but don’t tell him,” Olivia stage-whispered. “It ruins his self-image and I can’t afford canine psychotherapy.”
“Very funny.”
“I thought so. Oh, crap!” Olivia glanced at her watch. “Look, I hate to leave you, but I’ve got to work a few hours at the store, then stop by the University and drop off some books at the library. I’ll be back later, probably around six.”
“I should go into town anyway. I have a receipt for a motel where Leo was staying. I think I’ll see if I can find him.”
“Are you sure this is what you want to do? I’m getting bad vibes about it.”
“He’s my husband,” Sarah pointed out and drained her cup. She set it firmly on the table, as if she’d finally made a decision she’d been wrestling with. “I’ll try to track Leo down, find out if he can look me in the eye, and then attempt to talk to him, see if we can find any way to communicate. I should be back here in a few hours. If not, I’ll give you a call.”
Short of hog-tying Sarah, locking her in her room, and appointing Hairy S to keep her from leaving, there wasn’t much Olivia could do. “Okay,” she finally agreed, “but be careful. I mean it. We’ve got another serial killer on the loose.”
“I read that in the headlines as I walked through the airport,” Sarah said. “Creepy.” But she was obviously more interested in Leo than the killer haunting New Orleans.
“I mean it. Just don’t be careless.”
“Olivia, has anyone ever told you that you worry too much?”
“No, just the opposite, if you want to know the truth. But there’s a reason for it. Somehow I’m in tune with the killer. I actually ‘witness’ him killing the victims.”
“Witness it? Jesus!”
“Not like I’m there.”
“Oh, you mean those visions you have … come on, Olivia.”
“I mean it, I see these things.” Something in her expression must have convinced Sarah because she quit arguing. “So you see him kill people in those visions like you got back in Tucson when you had the horrible headaches.”
“Just more intense.”
Sarah threw her a skeptical glance. “So what have you done about it?’ ”
“Talked to the police and installed a security system.”
“No! Are you serious?”
“Yes, let me show you how it works.” She took the time to demonstrate the system and gave Sarah the code to disengage the sensors so she could get in and out of the house without setting off the alarms.
“All right. Got it,” Sarah said, though Olivia wasn’t certain. Her friend was far more interested in her husband’s infidelity than in self-preservation.
“Good. Promise me you’ll be careful. I’m dead serious. The police think I may be a target.”
“Because of some ESP thing? Oh, come on … Really, Olivia, you do worry way too much. And I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
“Sarah—”
“Okay, okay, didn’t I say I’d be careful? Truly. Now, relax. We’re going to have a great Thanksgiving!” Sarah spent the next fifteen minutes “repairing the damage” to her makeup and hair while talking incessantly about how pissed off she was at Leo, then hauled her purse with her and tore off in her rental car.
Olivia was only a few minutes behind.
As she drove into the city, she wondered how much she should confide in her friend. She’d already told her about the visions, tried to warn her, but should she say more? Sarah was going off half-cocked.
And then there were other issues, Olivia thought as she melded into the traffic near the freeway. Sarah’s rental was already out of sight. Should Olivia tell her friend about her one-night with Bentz? That she had some weird kind of fascination not only with Bentz but with a parish priest? Or how about the fact that she had a full brother somewhere, one she’d never known existed?
Gripping the steering wheel more tightly and glancing at her own worried eyes in the rearview mirror, she decided to hold her tongue. Sarah wasn’t interested anyway. Olivia had warned her friend about the killer. Now all she could offer Sarah was some compassion because Olivia had a feeling that Leo Restin was going to break his wife’s heart.
Unless Olivia could stop it.
But how?
No … wait … Maybe what Sarah needed was some friendly advice, not from Olivia, but from someone she could pour out her heart to, someone she could trust, someone who could help her help herself. For the first time since getting into the car, Olivia felt better. She knew just the person Sarah should talk to. She was Catholic, wasn’t she? And there wasn’t a more engaging priest than Father James McClaren.
Tonight I have taken a life. The confession had been with James ever since he’d heard it over the phone two nights earlier. He hadn’t slept a wink since. Had expected the phone to ring again and that cold whispery voice to seek reconciliation.
Tired to his bones, James walked into the nave. He was troubled, oh, so troubled. He wondered if the Father’s sense of humor was so twisted and dark that He would use James’s torment, this knowing that a murderer was on the loose and communicating with James, as his own atonement for the sins Father James had committed against his brother, against his vows, and ultimate
ly against God Himself.
James had spent hours in prayer, more hours seeking Monsignor Roy’s counsel, and he’d always received the same advice. “Talk to God, James. This is your challenge. You must uphold the faith and trust. You cannot reveal any of the supplicant’s sins. This is part of your contract with God.” Monsignor Roy had smiled kindly, but beneath his beatific expression there had been something more. Something dark that lurked beneath the surface. An intangible shape that shifted.
James had studied enough human psychology and counseled enough couples and individuals to recognize guilt and fear when he saw them. Brothers they were, walking hand in hand. Had not James himself felt their bristly, uncomfortable presence within his own soul?
He paused at the altar and looked up at the large cross where a sculpted image of Jesus hung, His crown of thorns creating spots of red blood on His forehead, the slash in His side red and oozing blood, the nails in his hands painfully depicted. “Help me,” James whispered and genuflected. “Please.” He straightened and turned, surprised to find that there was someone near the door. Not just any woman, but the siren of his dreams.
Olivia Benchet.
His heart fluttered for an instant before he reminded himself that he would never allow himself the mistake he’d made once before. She was just another member of his scattered, disjointed flock. Forcing a warm smile that belied the torment in his soul, he walked briskly toward her. “Olivia,” he said, holding out a hand. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too, Father.” She blushed slightly and the stain of pink accented her wide gold eyes and frivolous curly hair.
“What can I do for you?”
“I need to talk to someone,” she said and some of his resolve cracked a bit.
“You’ve come to the right place. As they say these days, we’re open twenty-four seven. The Boss likes it that way.”
She smiled, showing off white teeth that overlapped just slightly. “If you’re not busy …” She glanced toward the nave and noticed the empty pews.
“I think God’s reserved this time for you. Follow me.” He led her to his office and held the door for her. “Come in. Sit down.” As she breezed past him and took a chair, he noticed a provocative hint of jasmine lingering in her wake. His jaw clenched tight and he tried vainly to ignore the scent. He knew he should round the desk and use it as a barrier between them, that he should sit stiffly away from her, but he found it impossible. Instead he slung a leg over the corner of the desk and wrapped his arms around his abdomen. “What’s on your mind?”
“First, I was wondering … I mean are there any records within the church of private adoptions?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m talking about a woman, not more than a girl, who gave up a baby around thirty years ago—actually I have the date. I got it out of the family Bible.” She rummaged in her purse and handed him a slip of paper on which she’d copied down a birth date and time. “I think it would have been handled through the Church rather than the courts. Maybe even a priest on his own. It might not have been entirely legal.”
He felt his eyebrows rise. “Not legal, but with a priest?”
“Yes. Because my grandmother was involved. The baby we’re talking about is my brother. It was before … before my mother and father were married and I don’t think my father even knew the baby existed, at least not at first. Later, I think, he found out.”
“And your mother?” James prodded, watching Olivia shake her head, her blond-streaked curls dancing in the soft light from the desk lamp.
“She doesn’t know.”
“Or she won’t say. It might be that she doesn’t want to revisit that particularly painful time.” He folded his hands over one knee and tried not to notice the way her eyebrows pulled together or the way she chewed her lower lip.
“I really don’t think Bernadette knows, and my grandmother is dead. The lawyer for my grandmother’s estate is too young and didn’t act as if he had a clue.” She looked into his eyes and he couldn’t help but stare back. There was something about her—ethereal, yet oh so earthy. Forbidden stirrings heated his blood. “I don’t know where the record would be, what parish, but I think there would be a christening around that time … I think the couple who adopted him would have been very religious. Very Catholic. My grandmother was a bit of a free spirit, you might say, but she had strong roots in her faith.” He felt himself being mesmerized, thinking thoughts he shouldn’t. “I need to find my brother, Father,” she whispered, pleading. “It’s important.”
James thought of his own brother, the pain of his estrangement, how he wished he could go back to the days when they trusted each other, fought with each other, wrestled with each other. How the bond that was so strong had been broken. Because of his weakness. Perhaps God was giving him a chance to help someone else. Perhaps this was his atonement. “Why don’t I look into it?” he offered.
“Would you?” Her face was suddenly alight and his heart buoyed. “Thank you.”
“I’m not saying I’ll be successful, but I’ll give it a try.”
A smile teased the corners of her sexy mouth. “Good. Now, there’s something else I have to ask.”
“Shoot.”
“I’d like you to meet a friend of mine,” she said suddenly.
“You know priests don’t date,” he mocked, then decided he shouldn’t joke about his vows of celibacy, but Olivia’s grin only widened. She knew he was kidding. ‘Of course I’ll meet her. Name the time and place.”
“Well, she flew in this morning and she’d kill me if she found out I was discussing this with you, but she’s having marital problems. I think she needs someone to talk to.”
“Doesn’t she have her own priest?” he asked, a bit wary as he realized his main objective had little to do with the friend and a lot to do with Olivia.
“In Tucson, yes. But she’s here now and I was hoping that you would spend some time with her. Kind of like a counseling session, I guess. She talks to me but I keep telling her to leave her husband and she doesn’t want to hear it. Sarah, that’s my friend, and Leo are both Catholic and it might make her feel better to speak to someone in the Church. Someone who could put a positive spin on the situation rather than negative like me.”
“Don’t you think that’s her decision?”
“Yes, but…” She shook her head. “I thought you might be able to find a way to help her, or them, you know, make the marriage stronger, help Leo, that’s the husband, try and work things out, if that can be accomplished, but I don’t think it’s possible.” She leaned further back in her chair. “Oh, it’s a stupid idea, I suppose.”
“No, it shows you care.” He smiled. “I just don’t want this to blow up in your face. She might think you’re overstepping your bounds, that she’s being bullied or ganged up on, as if this was some kind of intervention.”
Sighing, Olivia tapped her fingers on the arm of the chair. “Maybe we could be more subtle.” She glanced up at him and he saw the gleam in her tawny eyes, knew the gears in her mind were turning. “Maybe you could just come to the house. For a visit.”
“I suppose,” he drawled, not certain he liked the way this sounded. It was too much like a pre-teen plot to suit his tastes.
“Then if she wants to talk, fine, and if she doesn’t, well, we haven’t offended her and I promise I won’t push it.”
“That would work.” He was relieved. “But if Sarah prefers not to seek counsel, then we would have to accept that.”
“Meaning I would have to accept it.”
He nodded. “Could you?”
“No problem. I just want to give her the opportunity.” Olivia grinned, seeming to like the path her thoughts were taking.
“When?” he asked, checking the open calendar on his desk.
“How about for the holiday? I mean, unless you’ve got other plans which you probably do, would you …” She paused, seemed a bit embarrassed, then said quickly, “Father McClaren, would you l
ike to join Sarah and me for Thanksgiving dinner?”
He hesitated, then looked her squarely in the eye. This was dangerous. He could feel the heat building between them, but he couldn’t resist. “I’d love it,” he said and, unfortunately, he meant it. Far more than he should have.
“… so I just don’t get it,” Jay whined and Kristi, sitting on the edge of the bed cringed as she held the phone to her ear. “Why won’t you have dinner with my family?”
“Because my dad’s alone.”
“I thought you weren’t getting along with him,” Jay grumbled.
“I wasn’t. But I’m trying.”
“I guess that’s cool. But you still could come over. We need to hook up. It’s been a long time.”
Tell him. Break up with him now.
“I miss you.” “Jay, I—”
“And I love you, baby.”
Oh, God, she felt like a heel, but she couldn’t force the words out.
“Look. We do need to talk.”
There was silence. She heard the drum of her own heartbeat.
“Jay?”
“I said ‘I love you.’ ”
“I know, but—”
“Hell, Kristi. What’s got into you? Ever since you went up to All Saints, you’ve changed. I think that place is weird, man. It’s doin’ weird stuff to you.”
“Maybe I’m just finding out who I really am.”
“Oh, that’s such bullshit and you know it. That’s what people say when they don’t want to talk about what’s really bugging ‘em.” His voice became a high falsetto. “I’m finding myself. I’m getting in touch with my inner woman. I need to have new experiences.” His voice lowered again. “I call it bullshit.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. No reason to deny it. “It is kinda weird up there, different from high school, but it’s supposed to be. It’s college.”
“Yeah, and so you take a couple of crap psychology and philosophy classes and now you’re so into finding yourself that I don’t even know you. Listen … maybe we should just break up.”
