“Christa, I’m sorry. I promise you, I never meant to deceive or hurt you in any way. I was confused. I’d made the decision to hold on to the building for Sadie, but when you said—”
“Save it.” She threw up a hand as the breeze whipped between them. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.”
“Please. I was confused, all right?”
“Oh, and you couldn’t have told me that?” Fists balled at her sides, she continued. “I would have understood. Instead, you allowed me to keep talking like some fool.”
“No.” He took a step closer, gravel crunching beneath his boots. “I’d never think of you as a fool, Christa. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever known.”
“Yeah, well, right about now, I’m feeling pretty stupid for allowing you into my life.” Not to mention her heart. Twice, she’d fallen in love. And twice, she’d been duped. “You didn’t trust me with the truth, Mick.”
Hands slung low on his hips, he hung his head. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He looked her in the eye. “I should have told you right from the start.”
“But you didn’t. So how can I ever trust you again?”
“Aw, come on, Christa. You know that’s not true. Of course you can trust me.”
She shook her head. “No, I can’t.” Turning, she started toward the house, her heart feeling as though it had been turned inside out.
“I love you, Christa.”
Her steps halted, her eyes closing. How long had she wanted to hear those words from him? Now they meant nothing.
“I know you think I’m just saying that, but I mean it. I’ve never cared about any woman the way I care for you.”
Thanks to the gravel, she could hear him drawing closer, yet she couldn’t seem to make her feet move. So she stared at the sky.
“From the moment I wake up until the time I fall asleep, you’re on my mind. You consume me in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s as frightening as it is exciting.” He was right behind her now. “I love you. And I know you’re mad, but I think you might love me, too.”
With a deep breath, she turned to face him. “Love and trust go hand in hand, Mick. You can’t have one without the other. You betrayed my trust by withholding the truth.” This time, she ran toward the house, unable to risk being stopped again. Because if he told her he loved her one more time, she just might believe him.
Chapter Fifteen
Mick pulled up to Bum’s house just after one on Thursday afternoon, feeling like his insides had tangled with a shredder. He’d been miserable ever since Christa came at him Monday. Throw in the fact that he was due in court a week from today, and he wasn’t sure he could feel much worse.
Hard to believe it was only a few days ago that Mick sat in Bum’s kitchen, telling God that he couldn’t bear to lose someone else he loved. Yet that’s exactly what had happened. Only it had been Christa who Mick had lost. All because he hadn’t been man enough to tell her the truth.
He opened the door of his truck, eager to see how his friend was feeling. And perhaps get some fatherly advice. A wiggly Sassy flew across his lap.
“Guess you’re ready to be back home, huh, Sassy.” Sadie sure was going to miss having a dog in the house. He had a feeling she’d wear him down at some point, and they’d end up with a furry friend of their own.
After retrieving the two sudoku puzzle books he’d picked up at the store, he climbed out and closed the door. Bum loved his sudokus, and with him having to take things easy for a while, Mick figured they’d be a good way for him to pass the time.
Sassy waited at his feet, whining, as he knocked on the door. “Hang in there, Sass. We’re almost there.”
A moment later, Sandy swung it wide and the dog bounded inside.
“Sassy, girl. You’re home.” She stooped to pet the fur ball. “Go get Daddy.”
The dog took off as Sandy stood. “Thank you for keeping her, Mick.” She motioned for him to come in, then greeted him with a hug. He and the woman with long blond hair had practically grown up together. Their fathers were best friends and she’d been a year ahead of Mick in high school, while her sister had been two years behind him.
“Where’s Carrie?”
“She had to head on back to Dallas yesterday.” She closed the door. “Dad’s been hoping you’d stop by.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She nodded. “Right now, I’m pretty sure he thinks of me as the enemy.”
“Now why would that be?”
“Because I’m the one telling him what to do, making sure he eats right and all that other stuff he hates.”
“I ain’t deaf you know.” Bum’s voice came from around the corner in the living room. “I can hear everything y’all are saying.”
Mick couldn’t help laughing. “Sounds like he’s back to normal.”
“He’s gettin’ there.” She led Mick into the living room where Bum sat in his leather recliner, wearing a scowl. “I have some laundry to tend to, so I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
“’Bout time,” Bum sputtered. Petting the dog who was now in his lap, he continued. “She’s been hoverin’ ever since she and her sister got to the hospital. Now that the nurses aren’t around, Miss High-and-Mighty thinks she’s in charge.”
Mick eased onto the leather sofa. “Nah, she just wants to see you up and about again. Like the rest of us.”
“I ain’t made for all this sittin’.”
“Sassy doesn’t seem to mind.” Mick nodded toward the dog.
“Of course she doesn’t. She’d sit here all day if I’d let her.” He scrubbed the dog’s neck. “Me? I got things to do.”
“Oh, settle down, Bum. It’s only for a little while. I’ve got your cattle covered.”
The man glowered. “Whose side are you on anyway?”
“And here I thought you went to the hospital, but judging by the way you’re acting, it must have been elementary school.”
His friend harrumphed. “Aren’t you the funny one?”
“Here.” Mick stood long enough to hand the man the puzzle books. “Maybe these will keep you busy.”
Sassy hopped down as Bum grabbed his readers from the side table to peer at the books. “Yeah, they might help for a little while. Thanks.” Removing the glasses, he looked at Mick. “Did you ever talk with Christa?”
Resting one ankle on the opposite knee, Mick swiped at the dust on his boot. “Oh, I talked to her all right. Though she did most of the talking.”
“And?” Bum sounded so hopeful.
Meanwhile, Mick didn’t have a shred of hope left. “She hates me, Bum.”
The older man leaned closer. “She said that?”
“No, I inferred it. Somehow she found out that I owned the building before I got the chance to tell her. She called me a liar and said she could never trust me again.”
“Did you explain why you hadn’t said anything?”
“I tried, but she wasn’t willing to listen.” He glanced down at the carpet where Sassy was chewing on one of her toys. “I hurt her, Bum. Hurt her real bad. And I miss her something fierce.”
“I’m sorry, son. I know you really cared about her.”
“I still do.”
“Yeah, love ain’t somethin’ you can just turn off, is it?”
Mick cut a look in his friend’s direction. “Did I tell you I was in love with Christa?”
Smiling, Bum said, “You didn’t have to, Mick. It’s written all over your face whenever you so much as think about her.”
“So how come Christa didn’t see that?”
“I expect she did.” The man paused for a moment, his hands splayed over the arms of the recliner. “How’s Sadie taking it? She and Christa spent a lot of time together.”
“She misses her. But how do you explain to a five-year-old that the person they lov
e doesn’t want to be there because of your stupidity?”
“Maybe Christa will come around after a while. After the hurt dissipates and she can think about what you said with a clear head.”
Nervous energy had Mick standing. “That’d be great, but I’m not going to hold my breath.” He moved to the window beside the fireplace and eyed the lone longhorn grazing among the Black Angus in the pasture.
“Don’t tell me you’re just going to give up?” Bum’s voice held a hint of disbelief.
Turning to face him, Mick said, “What else am I supposed to do? She doesn’t want to see or talk to me.”
“Well, God’s word says that love is patient.”
“You ought to know better than anyone that patience isn’t my strong suit.”
Bum looked at him through his shaggy eyebrows. “Mick, you’ve waited forty-five years to find love. Surely you’re not going to just let it go without a fight.”
The man had a good point. “But how do I fight? What should I do?”
“Just keep on loving her however you feel led. She may have given up on love, so it’s up to you to show her that it’s worth a second chance.”
Was Bum right? Could Mick really win back Christa’s heart?
Maybe not. But just because she stopped caring for him didn’t mean he had to stop caring for her. And he cared, all right. More than he realized.
He thought about the hearing next week. Christa was supposed to testify on his behalf, and he was pretty sure she’d still do that. But going in there without her by his side? That was going to be tough.
I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. The words played across Mick’s heart, reminding him there was one person he could count on. The One who’d been with him since he prayed that prayer in vacation Bible school when he was ten years old. God was his strength and his defender. His help in times of trouble.
Mick needed to cling to that now more than ever. And trust that if Christa was the woman for him, then God would work things out.
* * *
Christa brushed the snickerdoodle crumbs from her shirt as she stepped out of her SUV in front of Bum’s house after work Friday. She still hadn’t figured out who’d left the trio of cookies and a caramel macchiato on her desk this afternoon, but they’d been a bright spot in an otherwise dreary day.
Armed with a loaf of low-fat banana bread, she glanced up at the gray clouds that had brought them rain for much of the day, her heart heavy. She missed Mick. And Sadie. What she wouldn’t give for one of Sadie’s hugs right about now. Still, she knew she had to learn to move forward without them, because she wasn’t willing to risk her heart to someone who would lie to her.
She strode onto the covered porch, knocked on the six-panel double door and waited.
A few seconds later, a trim blonde who appeared close to her own age opened the door, Sassy wiggling at her feet. “Can I help you?” Blue eyes that looked a lot like Bum’s held a smile.
“Hi, I’m Christa Slocum.” She stooped to pet the dog who was now circling her feet. “I live just up the road and go to church with Bum.” She stood. “Is he receiving visitors?”
“He sure is.” She motioned for Christa to enter. “Matter of fact, he’s going a little stir-crazy, so guests are his connection to the outside world.”
“I can imagine him struggling with being cooped up.”
“Honey, you don’t know the half of it.” They both laughed. “I’m Sandy, by the way. Bum’s daughter.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
Sandy led her into a room with a vaulted ceiling, leather furniture and a limestone fireplace with a huge brown-and-white longhorn head mounted over the mantel. “You have company, Dad.”
Bum looked up with a quick smile as Sassy jumped into his lap. “Christa, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”
She approached his recliner and gave him a brief hug. “You’re looking much better than the last time I saw you.”
“Yeah, well.”
“I brought you some homemade banana bread.” She glanced at Sandy. “It’s low-fat.”
“Now why’d you have to go and ruin it by sayin’ that?” Bum scowled.
“I was skeptical, too,” said Christa, “but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
“I’ll leave you two to chat,” said Sandy.
“You don’t have to leave.” Christa hated to think she’d chased her off.
“That’s all right. I need to call home and check in with my kids.”
“Have a seat.” Bum gestured toward the couch. “How are you doing?”
She perched on the edge of the cushion. “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“Ah, I’m right as rain.” He shifted in his seat to make more room for Sassy. “Least once they let me get back to work.” His friendly blue eyes seemed to bore into her. “Mick told me what happened.”
She drew in a deep breath and simply nodded.
“I know you feel like Mick lied to you and that it stings like crazy, but he never set out to hurt you, Christa. That boy’s got a heart of gold.”
“I know he does.”
“What you may not know is that he doesn’t open that heart to too many people. You were blessed to be one of them. Problem is, he didn’t just open his heart to you, he plum gave it away.”
Her cheeks warmed and she offered a nervous smile. Bum was the last person she’d expected to have this kind of conversation with. Then again, he did think of Mick as a son. But it made her uncomfortable.
“Yeah, Mick messed up,” he continued. “We country boys are prone to that sometimes.” He smiled. “But when we love, we give it everything we’ve got.”
While she appreciated his insight, she needed to get out of there. “I’ll be honest, Bum, there’s a part of me that really wants to believe that. But the bigger part of me, the one that’s been jaded by the lies of someone else I thought loved me, is afraid to take that risk again.” She shrugged. “Once bitten, twice shy. Except I’ve been bitten twice.”
“Don’t judge Mick on the actions of someone else. That’s not fair to him or you.”
She thought for a moment. “I suppose you’re right.” She stood. “And I’ll try to keep that in mind. I need to get home to my Dixie, though. She’s probably crossing her legs.”
“All right, young lady. You take care of yourself.”
Driving a mile up the road to her farmhouse, she couldn’t help thinking about what Bum said. It was wrong to judge Mick based on Brody’s actions. They were two completely different people, and Mick was a far better man than Brody ever thought about being. But the fact that Mick had evaded the truth, dancing his way around it by suggesting she have a cute little storefront, still irked her. If he’d have simply come clean, they wouldn’t be where they were now. But he hadn’t.
She pulled into the main drive, bumping over the cattle guard, and again when she turned into her drive. God, when will my heart stop hurting?
Gathering her purse, she stepped out of the vehicle.
“Miss Christa.”
Stunned, she jerked her head up to see Sadie running toward her from the porch. “Sadie?” She embraced the child, whose arms went around Christa’s hips. “What are you doing here?”
The girl took a step back and looked up at her. “I misseded you.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve missed you, too.” She scanned the yard and the porch looking for Mick. “Where’s your uncle?”
“At the camp house.”
Alarm bells went off in Christa’s head. “Does he know you’re here?”
Just then her phone buzzed. She tugged it from the back pocket of her jeans to see Mick’s name on the screen. Looked like she had her answer.
Sending Sadie a look of disapproval, she answered the call. “Hello.”
“I can’t find Sadie.” Panic filled his voice. “If you see her, please—”
“She’s here with me. I just got home to find her waiting.”
“Oh, thank God.” His relief crackled through the line. “I’ll be right there.”
Ending the call, she eyed the child before her. “All right, Sadie, would you care to tell me what’s going on?”
“I wanted to see you.” Her bottom lip pooched out.
“Then why didn’t you ask your Uncle Mickey to contact me?”
“I did. He said you didn’t want to talk to him.”
Christa heaved a sigh, wondering if this was what divorce was like when kids were involved. “Come on. I need to let Dixie out.” She knew seeing Mick was inevitable. They were neighbors, after all. Still, while her mind continually replayed all the reasons why she should not be with him, she wasn’t sure how her heart would react to seeing him. She’d better get used to it, though.
Sadie was chasing Dixie around the yard when Mick’s truck pulled into her drive. She could see his anxiety the moment he stepped out of his vehicle. A mixture of anger, relief and sheer terror pinched his handsome features as he strode toward Sadie.
“Sadie Louise Sanderson, what are you doing up here?”
His niece pouted. “I wanted to see Miss Christa and you wouldn’t let me talk to her.”
He glanced Christa’s way. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t. I know you and Miss Christa have a very special relationship.”
One that had fallen victim to her dismissal of Mick. Christa should have been more sensitive. Instead of focusing on her feelings, she should have thought about how her and Mick’s breakup—as if they were ever a couple—would impact the precious little girl who was still coming to terms with the loss of her parents.
“How did you get up here, anyway?” He stared at his niece.
“I walkeded. But I weared my rubber boots.” She lifted her foot to show him.
“At least the only traffic around here is you and me.” Christa forced herself to meet Mick’s gaze. “Sadie, why don’t you play with Dixie while your Uncle Mickey and I talk.”
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