After forcing a few bites of sandwich on Morgan, he tucked her in bed, watching over her for several hours before she finally fell asleep. His mind raced, and he spent too much time trying to calm himself down. When he was certain Morgan was sleeping, he went to his office to dial Kathryn’s cell.
“How long was Lucinda in yesterday?” he asked when she picked up, not even bothering to say hello.
“Good morning, Julian. How are you?”
“How long?”
“I don’t know. She stayed a few minutes after you two left in the morning, but she took off before Morgan came back. It was weird. She had a substitute cover her class. I figured she’d gotten sick.”
“She left before Morgan returned?”
“Yeah. At about ten. For as fast as she beelined out of there, I thought she’d maybe forgotten something she needed to grab before her class, but she never came back.”
“Fuck.”
“Julian?” Kathryn asked.
“I need her home address. It’s important.”
Kathryn grumbled and then clicked on her computer and read him the address from her database. “Does this have to do with the grant?”
“I fucking hope not,” he answered before hanging up, though he was next to certain it did.
Chapter Fourteen
Morgan woke up restless and alone. The sun was streaming through the windows, and her eyes had a hard time adjusting to the brightness in the room.
“Julian?” she called out, but he didn’t come. She sat up and wiped the dryness out of her eyes. She’d shed too many tears yesterday. Today, she needed to figure out how to protect the students and the Loft.
She slid from the sheets and stood under a scalding hot shower. Her body still ached a little from the caning yesterday, but it felt good too. Pain had always made her feel alive. It was why she had found so much solace in the BDSM world. The extreme amounts of pleasure and pain fed her in a way that nothing in her life did. And after yesterday, she was at the point where she could ask Julian for anything.
She rubbed the bar of soap up and down her arms, wondering where he’d gone. Worried that he would try to solve her problems by himself.
“Such a stubborn Daddy beast,” she whispered.
She stepped from the water and dried herself slowly, thinking again of the conversation with the Smith people. What had they said? It had to do with the funding, something about questionable means of financial support for the Loft. And somehow the missing line item income and the video were involved.
She pulled a comb through her hair and decided to let it air dry. It took too long to do otherwise, and she needed to call the Smith people back, see if she could get them to reconsider. At the very least, she needed to make sure the video wouldn’t be shared.
Twenty minutes later, she hung up the phone in shock. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. Her hands trembled and her breath hitched. She should feel gutted, empty, untethered, but instead, she felt stronger than she ever had.
She dialed Julian’s cell, but it went straight to voicemail. She didn’t bother with a message, knowing he would call her back when he saw her number. Then she called Kathryn.
“Has Julian contacted you?” she asked when Kathryn answered.
“What in the hell is it with no one saying hello anymore? Don’t you know it’s Minnesota, and we’re supposed to all be annoyingly friendly?”
“I’m sorry, Kathryn,” Morgan said. “Good morning. Now. I need Julian. Have you heard from him?”
“Yeah, he called about an hour ago asking for Lucinda’s address.”
Morgan’s mouth dropped open. He couldn’t be…? No. She shook her head. They’d made monogamy a hard line. She trusted him. He’d promised to give her his darkness, and she believed him, she trusted him.
“Lucinda? Really?”
“Yeah, she was in yesterday morning. You saw her, right? But before you came back, she took off and had a sub cover her class.”
Morgan closed her eyes. “Shit. Of course. Lucinda. She was the one…” Morgan released a long exhale.
“What are we talking about?”
Morgan grabbed her down coat from the closet. “Nothing. It’s handled. You’ll need to rearrange a few things on the schedule. Call Andrew and ask him to help. The two of you need to find coverage for my classes.”
“Um, actually, I’m not sure he’s up for that. Helping, that is. He said he needed some time to figure a few things out.”
Shit. Morgan felt terrible. Despite everything, despite his angry accusations, Andrew loved teaching at the Loft, and he didn’t deserve to lose that because he’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time. “Tell him I won’t be there. That the kids need him. The Loft needs him.”
“I’m not sure…”
“Kathryn, he’s your friend. Talk him into it. Whatever you have to do. And you need to take my lunch appointment with Barbara.”
“Barbara Willis? The philanthropic goddess of the Twin Cities?”
“Yes. Call her that when you meet her. She’ll love you.”
Kathryn snorted. “Are you going after Julian?”
“Yep. As soon as you give me Lucinda’s address.”
Kathryn pulled it up on her computer, and within minutes Morgan was accelerating to Lucinda’s St. Paul apartment. She hoped she got there in time to stop Julian from doing something stupid.
Her phone trilled as she turned on to Grand Avenue. Unknown number.
“Hello.”
“Morgan, it’s Luke.”
Fuck. “Yeah, Luke, it’s not the best time.”
She heard him release an unsteady breath on the phone. “It won’t take long. I just didn’t know how to…well, I wanted to know if Julian was with you.”
She blinked in surprise. “Julian? Why?”
“He…” Luke took an audible swallow. His voice sounded young—and desperate. “He offered for both of you to be with me, and I just wanted to know if that was maybe still on the table.”
He said the last bit so fast Morgan wasn’t sure she’d completely caught it. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t make me say it again.” Definitely desperate. Holy crap.
“Oh Luke. I’m sorry. You heard Julian that night. It was sort of a one-time thing. And we’re…well, we decided not to do that anymore. With anyone else. It’s just going to be us now. I’m sorry that you got in the middle of that.”
“Oh.” God, the kid sounded a hundred kinds of defeated. “Okay then. Sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you.” He sounded so broken. Morgan blinked back tears against the reality that he was a casualty between her and Julian. She should have talked to Julian years ago. Asked him for what she wanted so they didn’t have this wake of wounded people behind them.
“It’s okay, Luke. It wasn’t your fault. It was all us. And hey, if you want that, there are clubs or places online that might help you meet someone. I mean, if it’s something you’re interested in, you can find it.”
Luke let out a shaky breath. “Thanks, Morgan. I don’t know. That night, it did something to me. I thought maybe if I could be with the two of you again. I don’t know. We’ll see.”
“Be well, Luke.”
“Yeah, you too. I’m happy for you and Julian. I hope you’re getting what you wanted.”
“I am. Thank you, Luke.”
Then she hung up and swallowed back the guilt of what they’d done to Luke. She couldn’t look back. There were too many regrets. She could only look forward to a future between her and Julian alone.
Chapter Fifteen
Lucinda lived in a third-floor walk-up in St. Paul. It took Julian over twenty minutes to get there through the morning rush hour traffic. The winter sun shone brightly on his windshield. He parked out front and took several steadying breaths before catching the main door as someone exited and heading to her apartment. He pounded on her door hard and hoped to hell she didn’t have a roommate.
She answered the door in a tight T-shirt and leggin
gs. The moment she saw him, she beamed a hundred-watt crocodile smile. “Julian. Did you change your mind?” she cooed, waving an arm to usher him in. She appeared to be buzzy and wide awake, and he wondered if she’d slept at all. Or maybe she’d been expecting him.
“No. I’m here to discuss the video. Who else has it?”
Her eyes blinked double time for a half second, and then she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “What video?”
Julian could feel his anger stretching inside him, filling up all the hollow places. The beast he feared Morgan seeing came roaring to the front. He grabbed Lucinda’s wrist in a bone-crushing hold and pulled her inside. “Don’t fucking start. Who else has it?”
“Julian, my wrist…” she whimpered.
He dropped her arm and pulled his coat off. “What’s it going to take to get it back from you? The video belongs to me, and I don’t like when people take something that’s mine.”
Her chin tilted up. “Well, if you recall, I offered to be yours,” she answered.
“Is that what this is?”
“Of course.”
He stared at her, assessing. He was good at this. A chess master of reading people, but she was too hard to read. He couldn’t tell if she was being coy or strategic.
“Lucinda. What’s your end game here?”
“I think you know, Julian.” She stepped closer to him, and the pieces that had been rattling around his brain the moment he considered Lucinda had taken the camera suddenly fell into place.
“That’s what this is about? You want more than play. You want me to be your Dom?”
“Morgan doesn’t respect you, Julian. She didn’t tell you about the grant. She tried to go around you. That’s why I sent the botched financials to Smith. That’s why I gave them the video. I wanted it all to blow up in her face so you could see what a liar she is.”
Botched financials? Jesus. Julian’s blood boiled. Morgan hadn’t told him about the financial problem. Again, she kept something from him. But he couldn’t worry about that now. He needed to deal with Lucinda and the video. “You’re going to give me back the video, Lucinda. It’s not negotiable. You want me to fuck you? Fine. But I’ll have the video first.”
Lucinda laughed. “You’re not just going to fuck me. It’s hardly worth that. Half the subs in the city have had your dick in them.”
He startled, his eyebrows furrowing, and she smirked. “What, you think I didn’t know? You may not have seen me, but I’ve seen you. I know the kind of Dom you are. You need to collar me. I don’t care if you keep Morgan or not, although I think you’re stupid to keep a liar as a sub. But I will be yours. Claimed and collared. Yours.”
Julian smoothed his hand over his head and assessed her. She looked needy and desperate. He’d dealt with subs like this before. He was good at getting what he wanted. He knew he’d have the video from Lucinda one way or another, but he needed to play it smart. She needed to believe he’d actually go for her. The fact that she was so desperate might work in his favor here. “What can you offer to assure me there aren’t copies of the video already out there?”
“It’d hardly be smart to send out copies when I’m interested in you owning me. And you know those Smith people won’t say a word. Why would they want to stir up a scandal for a well-respected foundation? I’m not stupid, I want you to claim me, not hate me.”
Julian drew in a deep breath. Good. It wasn’t as bad as he thought. “Kneel.”
Lucinda clapped her hands together and dropped to her knees. “Yes, Sir.”
“Where’s the video?”
She looked up, her lower lip thrusting out in a pout. “Where’s my collar?”
He released a breath. “It’ll be yours, but I’m not in the business of carrying collars around with me.”
She nodded. “Then fuck me. Beat me, fuck me, own me. On film. A video I can keep. Then you’ll come back and collar me.”
Her desperation was a cloudy reality. He’d almost feel sorry for her, if she weren’t using his girl to play her game. But if this ensured his Morgan’s safety, he’d swap one video for another. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been on camera. He pulled his shirt out of his pants and started undoing the buttons. “So we’re back to fucking? On film. Do you know what you’re asking for? Do you know what I’m capable of?”
All the softness and concern had seeped out of him. He would torture her within an inch of her life and fuck her raw until she gave up the video and everything else to him. He wouldn’t be played. Not by her, not by anyone.
“You don’t scare me,” Lucinda said, but her eyes showed it to be a lie. She had none of the strength his Morgan did.
“Lucinda, you have sixty seconds to bring me the video and your laptop, and then drop back down to your knees. I won’t ask twice. If you’re not afraid of me now, you will be if it takes you longer than that to get back here.”
She sprang up and dashed to the other room. Her bedroom, he assumed. Her apartment was a cluttered mess of pottery bowls and pillows and clothes tossed about. Nothing like the beautiful place he shared with Morgan. He shut his eyes for a moment and wished he was back with his little girl, petting her and sinking into her as she whispered, Fuck me harder, Daddy.
Lucinda placed the camera and laptop next to his feet, smiling at him. “Easy.”
He picked up the camera and deleted the video of him and Morgan, knowing it probably was backed up other places and he’d have to scare the shit out of Lucinda to keep it protected. He pointed the lens at her. “Get naked.”
She pulled her shirt off and shimmied out of her leggings. She wasn’t even wearing underwear, for fuck’s sake. She had fucking expected him. Julian closed his eyes and tried to push away the guilt of what he was about to do. Morgan had asked for a hard line about monogamy, and this was a breach. But he knew there was no way he could protect her without giving this to Lucinda. He’d never collar her, but after he was done with her, she wouldn’t want it. And there would be no way she’d ever keep this video he was making with her. He knew a little something about blackmail too.
He pulled at the buckle of his belt and dropped it to the floor, setting the camera on a table to the side so it faced them. He squeezed his eyes shut again and let the darkness settle down deep in his soul. He would do this. For Morgan.
“Daddy,” her voice seeped into him, and he shook his head to clear it.
“I’m sorry, Morgan,” he whispered to himself.
“Daddy. Julian. Stop.”
He whipped around and saw her standing at the door. He flinched at how it must look, how he must look, standing over a naked Lucinda with his shirt open and his hand on his zipper.
“Baby girl,” he whispered, before meeting her eyes. Eyes full of love and compassion and…understanding? Could this be real? Jesus, he didn’t deserve her.
“You don’t have to do this, Daddy. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to protect me from her.”
He groaned in relief. Yes. She understood. “I would do anything for you. Even this.”
She shook her head. “You should have woken me, told me your plan. You don’t talk to me enough, Julian. I don’t talk to you enough. We need to get better at that. I called the Smith Foundation. The video…all of this, it doesn’t matter. I’m fine, and the Loft is safe.”
Lucinda huffed from his feet and moved to stand, but Julian whipped a hand out and held her shoulder. “Don’t move, Lucinda.”
“Fuck you, Julian. I’m not kneeling in front of her.”
He stared at her. “And that’s why I could never collar you. Because everyone under my protection, everyone who wants to be in my life, will always have to kneel before her. She is my princess, and she deserves to be worshipped as such.”
Morgan stepped forward, and her eyes blazed a bright blue. “Keep your video, Lucinda. I don’t care if it gets out. It doesn’t mean anything to me. This man, this man you want so much you would’ve compromised the Loft for, he means everything
to me. And he will never collar you. He will never touch you. He’s mine and I’m his. There isn’t anyone else.”
Julian felt the darkness slip from him, shadows disappearing because of his little girl’s beautiful light. “What did you do?”
She smiled at him, and it was as if his heart cracked open to make even more room for her. “I resigned. I called the Smith people and asked specifically what the issue was with the video, because I just couldn’t figure out why they’d care that much if the owner made a personal sex video in his own building. They said they were concerned we were funding the Loft with pornography, which I guess says something about the mad skills of the two of us.”
She gave him a cheeky grin and Julian laughed. “Go on,” he said.
“So when I explained it was me in the film, it was a private video and that you owned the building, they were completely embarrassed. Way more than I was. But they also realized there wasn’t really anything illegal about it. I told them I was resigning as executive director and asked if they would consider a grant application for next year.”
Lucinda made a choking sound. “You resigned?”
Julian smirked. “My girl is very clever, isn’t she?”
“I didn’t mean for you to resign, I only wanted…” Lucinda suddenly seemed very lost.
Morgan shrugged. “You can’t always get what you want. And you’ll never get him. I’m not connected with the Loft anymore. Julian can do whatever he wants with it. And as you can see…” she stepped up to him, “… sharing is no longer something we do.”
Julian trained his eyes on Morgan. “You don’t have to give the Loft up.”
Morgan offered a small grin. “I didn’t give it up for her. It was taking too much time away from you. And I didn’t want that. I don’t want that. As long as the kids get to keep their arts program, I don’t care who runs the Loft. I need to do something else, but maybe something that requires a little less of me.”
He dropped a lingering kiss on her lips and brushed his hand down her hair. “You could be a freelance photographer. My agency is always looking for them. And you could make your hours. Work them around me.” He raised his eyebrows, and Morgan rolled her eyes.
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