Tense seconds passed before she spoke again with a soft and imploring voice. “Gabe, you’re not thinking straight, so I’ll leave you alone for tonight. Just think of the amazing family we could have together. With our son,” she murmured.
No we couldn’t. Because my heart is closed where you’re concerned.
I felt like that same heart was being ripped from my chest. I didn’t even know who she was anymore. If I’d ever even known her at all. “And all the money you’d make out of the deal when my father pays you off,” I replied. My voice lowered. “Get out of my apartment, Faith. I’ve had enough for today.”
She rose slowly and lifted her palms into the air. “All right, I know when I’m not wanted.” Now she was going to play the guilt card? Too damn bad for her because she’d already played it so many times it had lost all of its value. “But I’ll be back tomorrow and the next day, until you see sense about this. So prepare yourself.”
“I won’t be here.” I’d go check into a damn hotel if that’s what it took to avoid her and her drama. The results of the paternity test couldn’t come fast enough.
She paused in the doorway and looked at me, eyes brimming with crocodile tears. “I won’t let you give up on us, Gabe.”
I turned and looked out my windows again. Silent.
She opened the door, and the soft click of the latch let me know I was again alone with my thoughts. And emotions. The ones I didn’t want to feel but always came rising to the surface like a hurricane of distasteful feelings whenever Faith was present.
I walked to the kitchen counter and leaned on it for a second, staring at the half-empty fridge. My iPhone buzzed in my front pocket. Damn it. She wasn’t even in her town car yet and she was already trying to feed me another dose of her toxic bullshit?
Allegra’s gorgeous face flashed on the screen. I’d snapped the photo of her in the bakery making cupcakes. She’d looked so happy; her face glowing and passionate. I hadn’t been able to resist making it my notification for any incoming call or message from her. She’d tried calling me quite a few times since I’d held her while she cried about Matthew. I felt so impotent because I hadn’t been able to protect her. Hadn’t been able to exact revenge against that despicable prick.
I hit the green button to talk.
Allegra, I’m falling in love with you, but I’m afraid you’ll reject me if you find out the truth about me.
“Hello.”
Chapter 34
Ally
I popped the cork on the bottle of wine and poured it into a massive glass so fast it almost sloshed over the rim. It was my favorite glass. Pink ballerina shoes painted on the side with rhinestones glued around the stem. When I was little, I’d dreamed of twirling on the stage in my pointe shoes. Until my mother had burst my fantasy bubble when she told me that ballerinas couldn’t be five foot two with huge boobs and an ass. I stared into the Chardonnay like it could commiserate with me. Could give advice on what to do about Gabe.
Winter had officially arrived and the blustery winds and snow had kept me inside tonight in spite of Kelly’s invitation to join her at a gallery opening. Wine and cheese and all that. Wine. I needed the wine but not the cheese because this was a booze on an empty stomach kind of night.
I drank deeply, then scrunched up my eyes to appreciate the vintage. In my sorrow, I’d sprung for a bottle of Kendall Jackson as opposed to wine in a box. Not the top vintage, but a damn good one. I let the fruity mixture roll over my tongue. Delicious. And since I had nowhere to be, I could polish off the entire bottle. And pass out.
I looked at my phone on the counter and bit my bottom lip. Ever since our brief conversation this morning, I’d had a pit in the middle of my stomach that felt like I’d swallowed a boulder. He’d been cordial. Warm even. But the spark was gone. The longing and the chemistry. I felt like Faith Callahan had blown my entire love life to smithereens. Thank God my bakery was rocking it. I’d picked up another wedding this afternoon and it was for two hundred and fifty people.
My iPhone’s screen lit up with an unknown number. I snatched up the device and swiped my finger along the green icon, heart pounding like crazy. If it was her, all bets were off. I wouldn’t listen to one more slur by that sanctimonious bitch.
I rammed the phone against my ear, winced, then sucked in a ragged breath laced with fear. “Hello?”
Please, God, let it be Gabe, calling from someone else’s phone.
“Hi, baby girl, how are you doing?” Her voice couldn’t have been more poisonous if it were injected with snake venom. I didn’t hang up. She only called when she wanted something. Something I didn’t have inside me to give.
“Mom,” I said. “It’s been what, five years? Last time we talked, it was from behind bars.”
“Yeah, thanks for calling Legal Aid, by the way,” she replied, dripping with sarcasm. “You know damn well I’m innocent. I never took any heroin across the border to Mexico. I’m still here, by the way.”
The DEA had found the powder in all of her bodily cavities. The fact that she continued to deny it just made her delusional. And pathetic. She’d appealed to Matthew too who had promised to help her but then laughed behind her back about what a psychotic junkie she was.
“What do you need now, Mom?” I paced back and forth, twirling the wine glass between my fingers and staring at the light twinkling through the gold liquid.
“What does every mother want?”
“I don’t know? To spend time with their children? Not get arrested for being a drug mule?” I took a big swig of my Chardonnay and coughed on the dry tingle at the back of my throat. “You’ll need to enlighten me because I have no idea why you’re calling today.”
“Don’t be sarcastic, Ally, it doesn’t suit you.”
“How would you know what ‘suits’ me?” I countered, awash with so many bad memories I finally sank down into my tapestry armchair.
“I gave you the childhood I could afford.”
“You gave me lies, Mother, and I don’t have time for more of them. Now, please, tell me what you want.”
“Fine,” she replied.
A long silence separated us for a few moments, but they were nothing to the endless chasm of pain she’d caused. That gap could never be closed. “Mother?”
“Yes. How are things with Matthew?” she asked as if we talked every day, making conversation about my love life.
I drained more wine from the glass and rubbed my lips together. This was fast turning into a two bottle night. “I’m not with Matthew anymore.”
“I got a strange phone call from him earlier today.”
The wine almost flew back up my throat and on to my lap. Why on earth would Matthew call my criminal mother? The only reason could be to try to control or manipulate me in some way. “Why the hell would Matthew call you in prison?”
Maybe I could get a damn restraining order.
“He told me that you broke up with him because of your inability to have children. Why didn’t you ever tell me about that, Ally? I feel so horrible that I wasn’t there for you when those test results came in.”
You were never there for anything.
“Yeah, it’s a pity,” I quipped, unable to resist a shot at her. “Probably all the vodka, pot and cigarettes while I was in the womb. I’m surprised I’m not an addict now.” I looked at the half empty bottle of wine in disgust and pushed it away from me.
“I never smoked when I was pregnant with you,” she replied in a low whine. I didn’t believe her. The only words that came out of her treacherous mouth were lies.
“Matthew’s talking shit. Not that it matters. The only truthful part of that conversation was the fact that we broke up. He left me. And he wasn’t nice about it. He hasn’t been nice about it since.”
“Ally, Matthew’s a good guy. A police officer. He could have protected you and given you the safe and stable life you’d always wanted.”
The one you should have given me.
I grasped the
edge of the counter with one hand and slammed the wine glass down with the other. “Are you kidding me? Matthew was a douche bag. Abusive. Mean. He was addicted to pornography and video games. And you know what, Mom? Know what else about your golden boy? He was cheap. He only took me to fast food and matinee movies. He only kept Two-Buck Chuck in the fridge and Miller High Life. If that’s what safety and stability mean, then maybe I don’t really want it!”
Because I wanted chemistry. And excitement. And kisses that curled my toes into little balls of unclenching desire.
What did Matthew really want by involving my mom? He’d always viewed her as the scum on the bottom of his shoe, like the criminals he arrested each and every day. He stopped me every time I tried to help her. Convinced me to shut her completely out of my life.
She was a person who’d done some despicable acts, but she was still a person. She was still my mother.
“He wants you two to go away together. See if you can work it out.”
“We went to brunch the other day,” I said, trying to explain with my tone because words were failing.
Mom’s voice deepened. “Can’t you give him another chance, honey?”
I wonder what she’d do if I told her that the last time Matthew had mentioned her, he’d called her an Easter egg who belonged in the slammer.
“Why should I care what Matthew wants? Why should you?” I asked, grasping the stem of the wine glass again, then letting it go.
She blew out a breath that crackled on my side of the phone. “Because if you don’t go away with him, he’ll tell the district attorney that I’ve been dealing on the inside.”
My stomach sank. “Are you?”
“I can’t believe you could even ask me that question,” she whispered. But I could still hear her. I wouldn’t allow her to guilt me into spending one more moment with Matthew. I toyed with the idea of turning him into internal affairs.
Matthew knew how far I’d gone in the past to help my mother. He knew that I’d do anything to keep her out of trouble in prison because I didn’t want anything horrible to happen to her in there. I didn’t want her to die inside a metal cage. Now, he was taking advantage of his inside knowledge of me. Everything I’d shared with him because I thought we’d be together forever. I squeezed my eyes shut.
This was a choice. Mom had made her own choices.
“Goodbye, Mom,” I said, then hung up.
I caved in, grasped the bottle and the glass and went through to my bedroom, because standing in the kitchen reminded me too much of Gabe and what I’d lost.
Chapter 35
Ally
“You have got to be kidding me,” Kelly said, slamming her palms onto my coffee table and leaning forward to glare at me. “He did that? He used your mother against you? This is seriously grounds for a restraining order. This guy is out of his fucking mind.”
“I still don’t know what my options are. I think I need to talk to a lawyer.”
“You’re never going to see him again,” Kelly replied, folding her arms like that brought an end to the issue for good. “Please assure me you’ll never see him again. If not, I’m going to have to lock you in the bakery.”
“Don’t worry, Kelly. I’m never going near that sleazebag again.”
Kelly nodded her satisfaction, then settled back on my sofa. She grabbed a cushion and pulled it onto her lap, then started picking at the threads sticking out of the seam. “And what about Gabe?”
“I don’t know.” I walked around the coffee table and sank down beside her. “He seems to evoke every emotion I possess, even though I’d wish it were otherwise. The minute I think we might have something special, lies get in the way. Or Faith. It’s like the Universe is telling me it’s not right for Gabe and me to stay together.”
She patted my hand, then took it between hers, like she was trying to warm me from my cold thoughts. “I think you both just need to sit down some place quiet and uninterrupted for a few hours and hash it out. You haven’t tried that yet. You’re both running away.”
“If I’m running, I have no idea what I’m running from. Maybe what’s between Gabe and me just isn’t meant to be.” My gut wrenched at the thought of never seeing him again. Never touching his fevered skin or inhaling his unique scent. Or, his weight pressing me into the mattress. Skin to skin. Desperate to give me pleasure and take his own.
I shivered as if Gabe’s actual hand had just stroked across my skin. “I don’t know, Kelly, I just can’t take all this drama. I want to focus on the bakery, just like you said, but it’s as if a three ring circus has come to town and popped the big top right in the middle of my life.”
“Then let the fat lady sing.” Kelly let me go and tugged at the threads furiously now as she held my gaze. “You obviously want nothing to do with Matthew, so tell him to take a hike.”
“I’d like nothing better than to put him in his place and tell him his twisted game is over. But I can’t help feeling guilty about my mom. What if he actually dummies up some false evidence against her? With her sordid past and inability to pay for a decent lawyer, she’d get the book thrown at her again. How could I live with myself if she left the prison in a pine box?”
“Ally, your mother made her own bed when she decided to traffic drugs. It’s not your job to continue to save her,” Kelly was using her no-nonsense tone again. The one she used when she was right. And she knew it. “Kind of like a role reversal. You’re so used to taking care of her that it feels normal to you. It’s not normal.”
I gave a bitter laugh. “You’re talking like they’re people I can just box and sort out. I might be able to ignore my mom and Matthew, but I don’t know what to do about Gabe. He won’t even say more than a few random sentences to me.”
“Hmm,” Kelly said, then sighed. “Hmm.” She picked at more threads, fueled by her nervous energy so I snatched the cushion out of her hands and playfully bonked her on the head with it.
“Ally! You’ll give my hair static cling, you silly goose.” My phone buzzed to life and I jumped. “Hold that thought,” I said as my voice deepened. This couldn’t be anything good. I wasn’t expecting anyone and the bakery was closed.
“Oh god, what now?” Kelly groaned and went back to worrying my cushion. “It’s like watching a story line in The Bold and the Beautiful.”
“Through the sands of the hourglass so are the days of our lives,” I joked as I rose and hurried over to the phone. I picked it up and showed her the name on the screen. “It’s Matthew.”
“Answer it,” Kelly said, narrowing her eyes and pushing her lips out. “Yeah, give that tool a piece of your mind.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Answer it, Ally.”
I answered the phone and squared my shoulders. “What do you want, Matthew?” I spit out the words, pissed that I hadn’t thought to remove him from my contacts and block him.
“I take it you were expecting my call, sexy,” Matthew crooned into the phone. “I’ve been waiting all day to call you. I couldn’t wait any longer. I love hearing your name on my lips, just like back in the day when I had my cock buried between your legs.”
Fuck you.
“I only answered because I have caller ID and I have something I want to say to you.” I rubbed my eye with one hand then steeled myself for the smack down. And subsequent fall-out. I had no idea what lengths Matthew would go to get his way. What he was capable of doing to me.
Kelly gave me a double thumbs up.
“Missed me already? Gabe not getting it done?”
Don’t you even mention Gabe’s name.
“I want you to stop contacting me, Matthew. No texts. No calls. No in-person visits. Stay away from me and my bakery or I’ll lawyer up.”
He laughed. A long, drawn out laugh that resembled a howl in some places. “What do you think your cut-rate lawyer could do to me?” He laughed again. “I’m law enforcement, Ally. Union. Untouchable. And don’t even think about calling internal affairs. I alread
y paid a visit to the Chief of Police to tell her some crazy bitch was making crazy accusations against me. I’ve been a valued member of the force for years. Hell, I have a medal of valor.”
“Maybe they won’t believe me, but Kelly is sitting right here and you’re on speaker. I also got a call from my mom today. You think internal affairs would discount three witnesses all giving the same story? Two of them being respected business owners and members of the Chamber of Commerce. Not to mention what Gabe might have to say about you.”
An extended silence was the only indication that I’d hit a nerve. He hadn’t thought his diabolical plan through very well. “What did your mom say?”
“That you’re trying to control me by threatening her. That you’re trying to keep me away from Gabe even though you don’t really want me for yourself.” I needed him to admit it.
“Oh?” He sounded genuinely surprised, probably that I hadn’t caved and started kissing his ass. I was stronger now. Braver.
I tapped my foot twice and the anger inside me built up momentum. “Seriously, who the fuck do you think you are? You come over here and tell me that you cheated on me, try to ruin what I have with Gabe, then bully my incarcerated mother? Don’t you think her life is shitty enough?”
“Baby, it’s because —”
I raised a finger along with my voice, even though he couldn’t see me. “Don’t call me baby, Matthew. I am not and never will be your baby. I don’t think I ever was and I am damn glad to be free of you. You’re sick. You don’t understand what love is.”
“You’d better slow down or I’ll —”
“Or what?” I half-shrieked it, then moderated my tone at Kelly’s frantic gestures. “Or what? What’s next on your perverted list of things to do to me? Rape? Murder? Just how far are you willing to go?” I couldn’t stop firing the questions. Questions without answers.
“I’ll go as far as I need to. As far as you push me. Ally … we belong together,” he replied, and his tone was sullen. Like a fat kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Well, I was done catching him with his hand anywhere. “I know I was the one who threw it all away, but I’ve had a change of heart. What I did was wrong. Let me make it up to you.”
Line: Alpha Billionaire Romance Page 37
