“And it never stops,” her mom said, giving her another very welcome hug.
***
It took a while to get everything roughly where it belonged, then a little longer to move a few pieces to their optimal spots. When she had everything where she wanted, Avery looked around her new house.
Now that her bed was centered on the wall facing the windows, she was very happy with the room. She’d made up the bed with pale blue sheets and the quilt she’d been given by her paternal great-grandmother when she was small. It was carefully handcrafted, with tiny dark blue stitches that she recalled staring at when she’d take a nap. It was intended for a child, with little sailboats on some of the panels, a girl wearing a sunhat, yellow ducks, and white tulips on the four corners, their stems still bright green all these years later. She had no idea what style of quilt it was, but it hardly mattered. She’d treasure it and use it even if it had been worth thousands of dollars to a collector.
In the corner, she’d placed her dresser on an angle. Her desk rested in the other corner, with the wooden chair tucked into the well. All of her clothing, which consisted of almost nothing, was in the closet, and her bathroom was stocked with all of her and Lisbet’s personal care products—with Lisbet having significantly more than she did.
Back in her Brooklyn days, she’d had to wear a little makeup when she met with authors and club owners, but she’d left all of it in her old apartment, along with all of her dressy clothing. She’d probably pack that up tomorrow, but she was tempted to dump it all. The Columbia County Avery was going to be make-up free.
Across the hall, Lisbet’s room was also perfectly outfitted, but Avery was still vaguely wrestling with her decision to have the baby sleep in her own room.
Best practices were to have your child in your room, but not in your bed, for the first year. But Avery thought that moving the baby into her own space when she was old enough to really know what was going on would be a pain in the butt. Since she had a very good monitoring system that she’d gotten at her baby shower, she thought she’d be able to hear the slightest noise Lisbet made, even from across the hall. But actively going against best practices made her feel like she was being reckless.
Standing there in the hallway, she patted Lisbet’s back while she spoke to her. “If I thought you’d be safer lying right next to me I wouldn’t hesitate,” she murmured. “But I think this will work out better in the long run. What do you say?”
Lisbet rested her head against Avery’s shoulder and let out a heavy sigh.
“That’s how I feel, too,” she said, feeling like they were actually conversing. “There’s never a perfect answer, is there. Let’s take a peek in here. I think you’ll like it.”
The Moses basket was where the crib would be when it arrived, with a view of the window, but far enough away that a draft wouldn’t chill the baby. The changing table would sit by the crib, and the rocker would be in the corner with a reading lamp next to it. On the floor, all of the baby’s books would be lined up. They’d read every one already, and Avery assumed they’d go through each one four or five more times before she needed to buy more complex tales.
“What do you think, babydoll? You’ve never slept more than five feet from me, you know. Are you up for it?”
Lisbet had little to say, so Avery took that as a nonverbal “Yes.” “All right. That’s settled. Now all we need is…everything.”
Unless she and Lisbet were both in bed, there would be no place else in the house to hang out. No living room furniture. No dining room furniture. She’d fill the drawers with her kitchen utensils tomorrow, and she had some pots and pans and plates and glasses, but truly only enough for two, since she’d never fed anyone but Freya, and even those occasions had been pretty infrequent.
She went down to the kitchen, and was standing there looking out the big window when she felt her father’s arm drape around her shoulder. “Why don’t you come home tonight. I’ll happily sleep in the den. You and your mom can share the bed.”
“It’s all right, Dad,” she said, turning to give him a hug. “I know it’s stark, but I’ll fill it up.”
“Not tonight you won’t. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep thinking of you roaming around in this big, old place. No screens on the windows, no curtains…”
“No one can see in from the street, but I promise I’ll buy some. They’ll help with drafts, which I’m sure we’ll have. These beautiful old windows are very cool, but they’re single pane.”
“Sure you won’t come home? Just for a night?”
Avery leaned her head on his shoulder, reassured by his mere presence. “I don’t think so. That’s just delaying my need to get acclimated. It’ll be odd to be out here alone, but we’ll adjust. I know we will.”
“Maybe your mom should stay here tonight. I know she’d feel better.”
“I’m fine,” Avery insisted. “Now you two go home and enjoy the peace and quiet. Mom can relish a full night’s sleep after a week of being my night nurse.”
“All right,” he said, sighing heavily. As he left the kitchen, he said, “You were a lot easier to handle when I could pick you up and make you do what I wanted.”
“That didn’t last long, did it?” she asked, seeing his small smile begin to grow.
“Not long at all.”
***
It was only six o’clock on a hot, humid Saturday night in Columbia County. The sun would be up for at least another two hours, giving Avery time to go to the store and stock up on some staples. But she didn’t have any cookware, so she couldn’t even make a bowl of pasta. Why had she been so hard-headed? They should have had dinner at home, then come up here to sleep.
Lisbet was sitting on the floor in the living room, working on her crawling instincts. She didn’t have it down yet, but Avery was sure she was going to eventually be a crawler. Right now she was going backwards, but that was progress. Last week she’d rolled across the entire living room. It had taken her a while, and she seemed a little dizzy when she was finished, but clearly proud of herself for winding up on the other side of the room. The baby was as stubborn as she was, and that wasn’t truly a compliment.
“I think we’ve got to go to the store to get a sandwich from the deli, babydoll,” she said. “Your mommy hasn’t thought this all through, and she was too headstrong to let your grandparents take over. Par for the course, huh?”
Her phone rang and she went over to the counter to pick it up. “Hi, Casey,” she said, smiling when she saw the picture of her grinning at Lisbet when she’d sat unaided for the first time.
“How’s it going? I swung by your house after I made my dessert delivery. Your mom said you’ve flown the coop.”
“I have, but I was a little premature. We don’t have any food or cookware.”
“We’ll have to fix that, won’t we,” she said, her tone of voice playful. “What sounds good. I’m just a couple of blocks from the restaurant.”
“Oh, I couldn’t impose on you like that. Really. I’ll be able to find something at the store.”
“Chicken, fish, or veal. Pick one.”
Avery smiled at her perseverance. “Um, it’s too hot for a big meal. I was just going to have a sandwich… I’m just trying to think of how to get some boiled carrots or peas—”
“Meatball or chicken parm.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m always serious about food.”
“I guess I could manage part of a chicken parm sandwich…”
“I can manage all of it that you don’t. Lisbet needs carrots?”
“Or peas. Or sweet potato. That’s all she’s had so far, except for baby cereal.”
“Got it. I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes. I know the address,” she said, laughing a little as she hung up.
Avery walked over to the baby and sat down next to her. “Your buddy’s coming over for dinner, Sweet Pea. I’m not sure what you’re going to get, but I’m certain it’s going to be a lot bet
ter than what I’ve planned for.”
She held up one of Lisbet’s blocks and put it in front of her, then topped it with another, waiting for the baby to knock them over, her new favorite activity. “You probably don’t realize this yet, but I don’t have this all figured out. If a lot of people weren’t willing to bail us out, we’d be screwed.”
***
The sun was just setting when Casey walked up the sidewalk to the house. She was about to knock when Avery walked over to peer out at her from the open half-door. “Hi,” she said, beaming a smile that was kind of impossible not to return. “I’ve got no furniture, a fact I should have mentioned. How do you feel about sitting on the front steps.”
“I’ve done that a couple of hundred times. Do you have—”
“No,” Avery said, laughing a little. “If you’re not looking for baby things, I don’t have it.”
“I was hoping you’d have something to sweep the steps off with. But if you don’t mind getting the seat of your pants dirty…”
Avery opened the bottom door and walked out with Lisbet sitting on her hip, drooling. Avery flicked the drool off with her finger, and went to the top step to sit. “You know,” she said, sounding like she about to spill a yarn. “When I was young, I was close to obsessive about cleanliness. That eased up as I got older, and having Lisbet has let me pretty much forget about it. For myself,” she added. “I’m careful about keeping her clean and dry. We’re homing in on seven months and she still hasn’t had a bit of diaper rash.”
Casey sat next to her and started to pull items out of the bag. “You and I are going to like our dinner, but Lisbet’s either going to have to try something new, or she’s going to have to stick to breast milk.” She took out a small container and shook it. “How do you think she’ll react to summer squash. That was the only thing close to baby food they had on the menu tonight.” She let out a soft laugh. “I didn’t think you wanted to give garlic-laden broccoli rabe a try, and roasted white potatoes seemed a little vitamin-poor.”
“Good instincts,” Avery said. “I’m trying to get her to try different foods, but my main goal is to get as many nutrients into her as I can.”
“Sounds like a good goal.”
“Well, I know I’ll give in sooner than I’d like, but while she’s totally under my control I want her to learn to like vegetables.” She laughed. “I’m sure it won’t be long before she’s eating chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese for every meal.”
“What’s up with that? Benji eats regular food now, but the only thing on the kid’s menu at a lot of places is chicken fingers or really awful pizza. Are we trying to make sure kids don’t like real food?”
“Got me. I don’t think I’ll be able to fight Big Chicken Fingers when the time comes, since I truly don’t want to be that mom who acts like every preservative is going to kill the kid, but I’m sure I won’t like it.”
“I give you credit for trying to be pragmatic. My sister-in-law was the mom who supervised every bite that went into her kids’ mouths, and now my nephews pretty much live on pizza and tacos. I’m not sure if that’s all they like, or if they’re just doing it to drive her nuts.” She laughed a little. “It works, by the way. She lectures them constantly, and they ignore her just as often.”
“How old are the kids?”
“Seventeen and twenty. She and my brother have been divorced forever, so I don’t get to see her when I visit. Not complaining!” She pulled out a napkin she’d used to wrap up some real silverware. “You should have seen the look I got from my uncle when I was poking around in his kitchen, taking whatever I wanted. If they hadn’t been so swamped he would have thrown something at me.”
“Casey! I didn’t want you to make a fuss.”
“Where else was I going to get a vegetable that wasn’t a French fry? Besides, I love their chicken parm. Feel free to dig in while I mash this squash.”
“I’ve been to Villa Napoli many times, but I’ve never noticed sandwiches on the menu,” Avery said as she started to unwrap the gargantuan sandwich.
“They aren’t. But Hernando, one of the cooks, likes me. The Casey Special is a whole loaf of Italian bread cut in half, layered with breaded chicken cutlets, tomato sauce, and provolone, then stuck under the broiler until it bubbles. I swing by and pick one up whenever I need to eat something filling.”
“Looks great,” Avery said, eyeing it carefully. She took a big bite, with Lisbet watching her curiously. “Divine,” she said, mumbling around a mouthful. “I usually order the linguini with white clam sauce, but I might ask for the Casey Special next time.”
“I’m ready,” Casey said, looking at the mashed up squash. “How do we do this?”
“Well, it helps to sit her up in a good infant seat, but I left the janky one I bought at my mom’s. I guess I’ll see if Lisbet will let me use my fingers, since I also left her soft utensils.”
“Was that a good idea?”
“She’s going to be there as much as she’s going to be here, so…”
“Right, right,” she said. “I forgot that important detail.” She took a bite of her half of the sandwich. It was always better when she ate it hot, but even a lukewarm Casey Special was pretty darned good. “Tasty, huh?”
“Very.” Lisbet was still staring at her, and Avery laughed when she noticed. “She’s not usually wild about eating solid food, but she’s licking her chops tonight.”
“It’s the smell of tomato sauce. She can just tell she’s going to love it one day soon.”
“You’re probably right,” Avery said, giving her a wry smile. “Okay, baby girl. Let’s see what you think of squash.” She took a pea-sized bit and held it to Lisbet’s lips. Tentatively, she accepted it and began to smack her mostly toothless gums together. She didn’t look wild about it, but she also didn’t spit it out. “So far, so good.” Avery took another bit and held it next to her sandwich. “If I was in an experimental mood, I’d dip it into the tomato sauce right now. But I only like to add one food at a time so I can see how she reacts.”
“She looks happy enough.”
“It’s the other end that sometimes doesn’t react well. Her intestines have to like the food, too.”
“Mmm. Very appetizing dinner conversation.” She put the image out of her mind and occupied herself by taking another big bite.
The sun had dipped behind the hills, but it was still plenty light out. Sitting there, Casey let her mind wander to the many happy days she’d spent with her grandmother, often sitting right on this porch. She had been an ace card-player, and she’d taught Casey how to play gin at a pretty tender age. Sitting outside in the evening, drinking lemonade, while playing cards for hours was one of her favorite memories.
“You seem contemplative tonight,” Avery said.
“Mmm. Just thinking. You know what I don’t know?”
“I can’t guess.”
“I don’t know how you decided to have Lisbet. Or how… If that’s something you talk about.”
“Oh, I don’t mind revealing how ridiculously impulsive I was about the most important decision of my life,” she said, laughing as she shook her head. “My mom has just stopped lecturing me about it.”
“Um…details?”
“Well, I’ve always been certain I wanted to have kids. I would have had one with Michelle, but we lived a hundred miles away from one another, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to count on her for much practical support.”
“Right, right,” Casey said, recalling Avery’s ex worked in Philadelphia.
“I’d been looking for a woman who wanted to co-parent, but not having much luck.”
“I hear you on that score.”
“Right,” she said, reaching into the container to give Lisbet another tiny bite. “I was on vacation, in Copenhagen, which is where my friend Freya is from.”
“Your roommate.”
“Exactly. Her sister’s a lesbian, also, for what it’s worth. She’s a pediatrician, and her office was i
n a building with a fertility clinic. We were sitting around on like the second night I was there, and Marit suggested I meet her for lunch so we could talk to a friend of hers who worked at the clinic.”
“Um…why?”
“I was also surprised,” Avery said, nodding. “But Freya had obviously told her I was thinking about the process. Marit made it sound like it was no big deal to get information, so I went, and we had a nice lunch. I found out I could buy sperm for much less than I’d have to pay in New York, and we worked out that I was at peak fertility right then.” She shrugged, looking a little puzzled by her choices. “They assured me I had less than a ten percent chance of getting pregnant, so it didn’t seem like a huge decision.” She started to laugh. “But it sure was!”
“Wow,” Casey whispered. “You got pregnant on a vacation dare.”
“I kind of did,” she agreed. “But it was clearly meant to be, since everything aligned perfectly.”
“Damn, Avery, a woman I know from college spent like six months trying to pick the perfect donor. She had a husband, and she really wanted the baby to look as much like him as possible, but still…”
“I just asked for donors who would allow the child to contact them in the future. There were only a handful of them, and I weeded out anyone who had autoimmune diseases, cancer, or heart disease in their immediate family. That left two guys, and I flipped a coin. A krone,” she added. “I kept it, of course.”
“Was he a blond too?”
“Uh-huh. Blue eyes.” She smiled. “My mom accuses me of trying to clone myself, but I truly did flip a coin. The other guy had dark hair and darker skin, and I probably should have picked him just so Lisbet wasn’t consigned to a life of constant sunblock application.”
“You couldn’t have picked a better donor, since Lisbet’s perfection itself,” she said, reaching over to tickle the babbling baby’s foot. “What’s her full name?”
Friday Night Flights Page 17
