Avery let out a breath and told the truth. “I enjoy being with Casey. I really do. But all we ever talk about is the baby, and that’s not challenging. She’s a doll, but she’s…not challenging,” she said, repeating herself when she couldn’t think of a better word.
Her mom walked over and sat down next to her. She seemed less wound-up, or maybe she’d just been frustrated earlier. Either way, whatever it had been seemed to have blown over. “You know,” she said gently, “I’ve tried hard to not be the kind of person who tells you what to do.”
“And I appreciate—”
“But I’m making an exception.” She took Avery’s hands and stared into her eyes. “I agree that you have to have a minimum standard for the people you date. But I think you’ve gotten the idea that one person can give you everything you need. That’s just not true, honey, and looking for that will waste your time and continually disappoint you.”
“So you want me to look for someone who I can simply tolerate?”
“Now you’re being snotty. That’s not what I said at all.”
“I’m not trying to be snotty—”
“Well, you are, whether you’re trying to or not. You need two things from a partner. You need someone who loves you exactly as you are, and you need someone who loves your baby as much as if Lisbet were her own. Demanding more than that is just being greedy.” She let go of her hands and went back to the counter to pick up her knife again.
Her mom sounded a little disappointed in her when she continued. “Sometimes I think living in Brooklyn created needs in you that have made your life harder.” She gave her another look, this one a little sharper than the others. “Call me an underachiever, but I’d rather have someone I could rely on when I’m struggling than some brainiac who’s too busy thinking deep thoughts to come in out of the rain.”
“I’m not looking for a—”
“Or, worse, someone who sneaks off with another woman when you’re not watching her.” Her voice gained volume when she added, “You found your intellectual equal in Michelle, then she wasted years of your time before she cheated on you. That’s what prizing brains over morals will do for you.”
Avery stared at the back of her mother’s head for a minute, then slipped out of the kitchen, hoping to spend a few minutes with her father, who might also think she was a jerk for not chasing after Casey like she was a prize, but would never say so.
***
On her drive home, Avery found herself daydreaming about her first girlfriend. They’d been seniors at Bard at the time, both ostensibly straight. Elizabeth was also an English major, and they’d shared a class or two, but had never struck up a friendship. But one night, they wound up sitting by a fire pit in the backyard of a house that a group of their classmates had rented. It had been a small party, and everyone else had gone inside when the temperature dropped. But the fire was still burning hot, and they were engaged in a similarly heated discussion about the death of post-modernism and what had replaced it. Avery couldn’t even recall what her position had been, but she was certain Elizabeth had been in opposition. In retrospect, she was sure Elizabeth would have been in opposition no matter what side she’d been on. That was her way—to make you defend your ideas, even if she agreed with them.
Avery could still recall how pretty Elizabeth had looked in the flickering light of the flames, and how fiery her eyes had gotten when she’d defended a point. Avery was always trying to shoehorn her thoughts in when she was with the guys in her department, so it was thrilling to go mano-a-mano with a woman who was also a peer. They’d been pretty evenly matched—both strong-willed women who didn’t give in easily.
It had gotten much colder, and Elizabeth stood up and extended her hand. Without stopping to think, Avery rose and put her own hand in Elizabeth’s, ready to follow her wherever she led.
She could still recall her saying the house had gotten too crowded to finish their talk, even though neither of them had been inside for hours and had no idea how many people were still around. They got into Elizabeth’s car, and when she turned to give Avery a heated look, she was sure they were going to have sex. In all of her years of making out with guys in cars, Avery had never, ever been so turned on, all without even the benefit of a kiss.
They spent the next hour making that Subaru rock, and that night still remained the best hour she’d ever spent in a car. She’d found Elizabeth incredibly attractive, even though she wasn’t close to being conventionally beautiful. But a pretty face or a bulging wallet had never been what made Avery purr. It had always been a person with strong opinions who wanted to intellectually wrestle over something—anything, actually. Argument was foreplay for her, but she was never going to admit that to her mother.
So while Casey would have been the most attractive woman she’d ever even considered chasing, there had to be more to get her to make a move. The fact was that there was a hierarchy of reasons to tamp down her interest. One—she’d gotten no hint that Casey was interested in her. Two—she didn’t want to make things uncomfortable between them, especially because of how great things were going. And three—she wasn’t sure she’d be as hot for her in reality as she was from a distance. If Casey was as kind, and thoughtful, and placid in bed as she was in her everyday life—the spark couldn’t turn into a fire. But Avery wouldn’t tell her mom that. No mother wanted to know that her daughter partially got off on conflict, and she didn’t think it was possible to properly explain to her mom, and sometimes to herself, that she was very hot for Casey’s looks and personality, but possibly cool to the very things that made her such a good friend.
Chapter Fourteen
Casey and Kathy had made plans to take Lisbet to Brooklyn to watch Avery’s Short Shorts For The Holidays show. They were both slightly worried about making the trip, but it seemed to mean a lot to Avery, so they’d agreed. Casey had arranged to take the day off, but she was yanked from sleep at her normal time by her father banging on her door as he called her name.
She stumbled to her feet, tugged on her robe and went to open the door. “Yeah?”
“Why aren’t you dressed?”
“Taking the day off. What’s wrong.”
“No big deal. We got a few inches of snow overnight, and it’s sleeting now. I thought you could run the snowblower before you took off.”
“Is there too much snow for us to get out?”
“No, no,” he said, turning to go back to the kitchen. “I just thought it would be nice to have the driveway cleared in case your mother wanted to go anywhere.”
Casey stared at him as he walked down the hall. Her mother hardly ever left the house these days, and she had a real thing about driving in the snow. As she headed back to bed, she grabbed her phone and called Avery, who picked up almost immediately.
“Hi,” she said. “I was just looking out the door, kicking myself for not buying a snow shovel.”
“What train are you taking?” Casey asked.
“I was aiming for the 7:22.” She sighed audibly. “I guess it’s silly for you guys to come tonight.”
“Silly? No,” Casey said. “But I don’t think it’s smart to drive that far.”
“No, it’s really not. I’d be worried all day if I thought you were driving over slick highways.”
“Maybe next month, huh?”
“Sure. It’s not important. I’d better get going if I’m going to get Lisbet fed and dressed.”
“I’m going to swing by and pick you two up. My truck will sail right down your long-ass driveway.”
Avery didn’t respond immediately, then said, “Do you think I’ll have trouble?”
“Maybe. And maybe’s good enough when it comes to safety. Get some food into that baby and I’ll be by.”
“Oh, Casey, I’ll never be able to pay you back for all you do for us.”
“I’m not looking for payback. I’m looking for access,” she said, letting out a laugh. “Be ready by 6:45. See you then.”
She hung up,
then washed her face and combed her hair. Then she put on her weatherproof overalls, her winter boots, grabbed a down jacket, heavy mittens, and a knit cap and opened the doors to the driveway. Her boots crunched into the ice that covered the snow as she went to the real garage to fire up the snowblower, grumbling to herself about not having looked at the weather report. That had been dumb.
***
Casey bound up the stairs of the porch and knocked. In just a moment Avery opened the door and Casey felt her jaw drop.
“You look so nice,” she said, then realized she shouldn’t have allowed herself to sound so amazed.
“Thanks, I think,” Avery said, smiling at her. “I have the ability to look decent. I’ve just been floating along on the ‘I just had a baby’ thing. Come on in.”
Casey slipped inside, trying to retract her comment. “I just meant that I’ve never seen you in a dress. You look really nice.”
“Thanks. Helena likes us to dress up for Short Shorts, even though no one in the audience does. I look out into a sea of T-shirts and denim.”
“I wish I could see you in person,” Casey said. “I bet you look cool up on a stage.”
“It’s not much of a stage, if we get one at all. This is a very low stakes production.” She turned when the baby yelped out something that sounded close to a word and started to crawl—backwards—toward the front door. “Let me get her. We’re ready.”
Casey watched her stoop to pick Lisbet up, even though she knew she shouldn’t. But a pretty woman in a dress and knee-high boots was a sight she couldn’t make herself ignore. Avery complained that she needed to lose more weight, but from Casey’s perspective everything was just perfect. The dress was kind of clingy, and it hugged her ass when she reached for Lisbet. Even though Casey was risking being caught ogling her, it was worth it. “Ready?” she asked, even though Avery didn’t have her coat on yet.
“Almost. My coat’s handing on that hook right next to you.”
Casey picked it up and held it for Avery to slip into.
“I kind of like having a valet. Will you come over every morning to get us out the door?” She laughed and answered her own question. “Scratch that. You’re so agreeable you’d probably be up for it.”
“I’m not that agreeable.” Casey grasped the baby under her arms and set her on her hip. “I’ll carry her,” she said. When Avery locked the door, Casey slipped her free hand around her upper arm and held on tight. “If you slip, I’ll keep you upright.”
“Who’s keeping you upright?” she asked as they went down the stairs slowly.
“My boots. The tread’s so deep I have to soak them in a tub of water after I get mud on them.”
“Thanks again for this,” Avery said, taking such tiny steps it was almost funny. “I called my mom and she said my dad would come get me from the train tonight, so don’t you show up too. I know your tricks.”
“I’ll be in bed. Is your show on live?”
Avery gave her a quick look. “Have you never listened?”
“Well, never’s a really long time…”
“It’s not live,” Avery said, rolling her eyes. “We edit it. It’ll be up on Thursday.”
“Got it. I’ll do my best to listen this time.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know it’s not for everyone.”
“It’s important to you,” Casey said. “That’s enough.”
Avery looked up at her when they reached the truck. The tiny bits of ice that were still falling had landed on her eyelashes, making them stand out more than normal. She honestly looked pretty enough to kiss, an instinct Casey had never let herself entertain.
“You’re a good person,” Avery said. “A very good one.”
***
On the first Thursday of December, two days after their freak early snowstorm, the skies opened up for an old fashioned lightening storm, also a little strange for this time of year.
Kathy had been a very loyal Baby Brewers attendee, and she and Lisbet showed up right on time that afternoon. Casey had been in the Greenhouse Pub, and she raced out with a golf umbrella when she heard the car crunch down the unpaved rock-strewn road.
“Hi there,” she said, getting her big umbrella over the back door before she opened it. “This is supposed to pass in the next half hour, but you’d better come on up to the brewery. I don’t feel great about being in the Greenhouse when there’s lightning nearby.”
“It was just a light rain when we left,” Kathy said, her words barely audible with the hood of her rain slicker covering her face. She had another umbrella up, and they banged into one another repeatedly as they walked up the muddy road. “No one will mind having Lisbet around, will they?”
“Not at all. Ben’s gone already, so we can have some privacy in my office.”
They burst through the big door and stood there for a moment, letting the rain drip off their clothing, making a small puddle. “The weather forecasters are earning their pay these days, aren’t they?” Casey asked. “Every day’s a surprise.” She pointed the way and said, “Let’s go sit down and get sorted out.” She finally took the time to look into the car seat. “Lisbet’s asleep? Seriously?”
“She was awake when we left, but I couldn’t get her down for a nap after lunch. I guess she’s on her own schedule.”
“I wish I could sleep that well.” She opened the door to her office and set Lisbet’s car seat down on the floor. “Whew! I’d like to see this stop soon, but the skies were awfully dark.”
“Now what do we do?” Kathy asked as she slipped off her slicker. “No beer, no babies, no stir-crazy parents.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Casey said, pulling her phone from her pocket. “Have you ever really listened to one of Avery’s podcasts?”
“The whole way through?” She had a guilty-looking smile on her face as she shook her head. “I’m only interested in her.”
“The one she did on Tuesday’s available now. Want to listen?”
“Right now?”
“Sure. Why not? I’ve got a Bluetooth speaker we can use.”
“I guess so. But what if it’s boring? I’m not good at lying and I know she’ll ask what I thought.”
“If it’s boring, we won’t admit we listened,” Casey said. “Easy peasy.”
***
At around six o’clock, Casey rolled down Avery’s driveway, with Lisbet in tow. She was wide awake now, and was starting to give off her “It’s dinnertime” signals, which had gotten slightly more subtle as she grew older.
It had gotten colder, and Casey hustled her across the sidewalk and up the stairs as fast as she could go.
Avery answered the door and accepted the baby. “Special delivery, huh?”
“It made sense for me to bring her home after Baby Brewers, since that saves your mom almost a half-hour of driving.”
“True. But who takes the desserts to the restaurant?”
“My mom can,” Casey said. “It’s good for her to get out of the house once in a while. She’s going to have a Vitamin D deficiency.”
“But…”
“It’s fine,” Casey said. “I wouldn’t have asked her to do it if it had been icy out, but she’s generally fine driving in the rain.”
Avery cuddled Lisbet while kissing her face until she wrenched it away. “I missed my baby girl.” She looked up at Casey. “Did you have a decent turnout?”
“Two,” she said, raising her fingers. “Your mom and Lisbet.”
“Aww.” Avery carried the baby into the kitchen and strapped her into her high chair. “We’re having turkey meatballs and avocado, Lisbet. Your favorite things.”
“Those are some of my favorite things too,” Casey said. “But I don’t like mine cut up into pieces the size of a pea.”
“Wish I had more. I should have gone to the store today when I took my lunch break, but I got on a call and all of a sudden the day was over.”
“Want me to go get something—”
“No,” Avery sa
id firmly. “You go home and eat with your family, normal people who use utensils.”
“How do you know we don’t shove pieces of avocado into our mouths and spit half of everything onto the floor?”
Avery laughed. “I don’t, to be honest. But you have good manners when we’ve eaten together. I’ll assume your parents do too.”
“Yeah, they do. My mom’s into Paleo now. Lots of lean meat and veggies. I have to get my bread and pasta fix at lunch.” She started to stand up, then decided to go by the sink and wash her hands. When they were clean, she sat on the other side of Lisbet and caught whatever food was thrown her way, dropping it back onto her tray. “Um, while we were waiting out the storm, your mom and Lisbet came to my office. Since I knew your podcast dropped today, we listened to it.”
“You did?” Avery asked, with her face lighting up with delight, making Casey feel like a jerk for ignoring it for so many months.
“We did. And we loved it,” she said, trying to convey how sincere her compliment was. “I haven’t heard a story that moved me like the one by…what was the woman’s name?”
“Anwuli?”
“Yeah. The lady from Nigeria. When she was at the point of the story where she was hiding her brother from the police, I actually held my breath when she opened the door.”
“It was a great story, wasn’t it?” Avery said, still beaming. “It’s rare to have a story like that end happily, but I was awfully glad it did. That was fiction, by the way, but it was based on an incident that happened to members of her family.”
“All of the stories were good,” Casey said. “But that one got to me.” She patted her chest. “Right here.”
“I’m so glad you got the chance to listen,” Avery said. She moved in Casey’s direction, looking like she might plant a kiss on her cheek. But Lisbet threw a piece of meatball at her, and she turned to playfully grasp the baby’s other hand and pry a piece of avocado from it. Then she gently put it into her mouth, with Lisbet happily gumming it, not using the teeth she had, which were mostly in the front.
Friday Night Flights Page 25
