I look at her. That smile is contagious so I smile back at her and nod. She and Nurse Betty helps me cover my cast with plastic wrap and Lily helps me with the showering. Once I am done, she helps me put on underwear, a bra, and a pretty sun dress. Lily brushes my hair and puts it up in a ponytail, then I put on some make-up. The door opens and Brad, Adam, and Jase come in. I didn’t know they were all coming. Mom smiles at them. “She’s ready. We’re just waiting to her discharge papers and medication.”
I smile at them, and start to bend to grab my shoes. “Oh, honey, let me get those,” Lily says. I feel bad that she’s doing so much for me.
“How’s my beautiful girl this morning?” Brad says.
I smile at him. “I’m doing great, actually.”
Nurse Betty walks in with my discharge papers and meds. She hands them to Lily, giving her the instructions for the medication, then turns to me. “Good luck, Maggie. You’re a beautiful girl and you deserve more than this.” Through my tears, I smile.
I wave goodbye to a few other nurses as we head out of the hospital. Lily is holding my hand, Brad on the other side of me, Adam and Jase walking behind us. “How long is it going to take to get to where we live?” I ask Brad, who looks horrified for a second.
Sadly, he smiles. “It will take us a few hours, baby girl.” Once in the truck, I sit in the back between Adam and Jase.
As I close my eyes, I hear Lily tell Adam to be careful with my head. “I know, Mom,” he growls. It sounds like he’s pissed off. I wouldn’t blame him. I’m mad at myself so why wouldn’t he be mad, too.
****
Sometime later, I felt someone stroking my face, waking me up. “Hey, Maggie, you’re home,” Jase whispers. I sit up, looking around to see if I remember anything, but still nothing. I look towards the house and see my brothers, Amy, two guys, another girl, and an older couple coming out. Who are those other people?
“Jase… Who are they?” I ask pointing. He smiles and tells me,
“The older two are my parents, the girl is my sister and the other two are Nate and Todd. Chases buddies” he says smiling sadly. I hate that I’m hurting them, why can’t I just remember?
Jase helps me down from the truck and I turn towards the barn. I can hear them talking, but all I can do is stare. I start walking towards it. Somebody says my name, someone else says to let me go. As I get closer to the barn, I start feeling really cold. My eyes dart towards a pathway and I remember it. Changing my direction, I move toward the path, unaware that everyone else is right behind me. I start walking on the path. I’m riding a horse and I’m upset about something, but what? I want to turn around and run, but I need to remember. I remember Storm, which brings a smile to my face. I always feel free when I’m on him. Suddenly, I get flooded with memories… my brothers, mom and dad, living here, my best friend Amy and everything that we’ve done together. I can feel everyone behind me but, just as I start to turn around, one memory hits me like a ton of bricks…riding Storm up the path, him getting spooked, Christian watching me, hitting the ground, pain, feeling my zipper being tugged down and my underwear being pulled off, him on top of me—OH MY GOD! I WAS RAPED!
I turn around to face my family and friends, tears streaming down my face. I look at them, horrified, wishing I could forget again. I fall to my knees. Everyone tries to grab for me at the same time. “I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!!” I scream. Then I whisper, “I don’t want to remember this. I can’t.” Mom bends down to hug me, but I move away from her. “Please don’t touch me.” No, why would he do that to me? I hate him so much. He took something away from me that was supposed to be special with the person I love… I hate that everyone’s looking at me, I wish they would stop. I can hear both my mom and Amy crying, I close my eyes for a second and then I get up and run to the barn.
I just need to be with storm, he always makes me feel better. As soon as I get into the stall I feel a little better, wrapping my arms around him. I bury my face in his neck.
“I’m glad you’re okay storm”
I don’t know what I would of done if he wasn’t, I don’t know how much time passes before I hear the barn door opening……..
Chapter 13 (Jase)
Since the attack, my mom is trying to reassure me that Maggie will get better and remember everything, but we’ll have to be there for her if she remembers being raped. It’s been five days and she’s looking better, but she still looks like she doesn’t know us. It’s hard going through this with her because I love her, and I know she is confused and scared. I know she feels bad that she can’t remember anyone or anything. We try to reassure her that it isn’t her fault, but I’m pretty sure she blames herself.
I’m heading over to the ranch now to spend some time with the family before we all head to the hospital to pick up Maggie and her mom, who hasn’t left Maggie’s side since the attack. The family was devastated when they found out that Maggie was raped. That’s not something you expect would ever happen. I can’t say how much I wish one of us would have gone after her and either gone riding with her or stopped her from going. We can keep blaming ourselves, but it won’t change the outcome for her. Storm is finally back to his old self again, waiting on Maggie to come home. Chase and his buddies are staying longer than expected… he because he can’t leave his sister, them because they want to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid. Adam and I have been back at school, fending off questions about Maggie. Amy is having a hard time, and Jenny won’t even look or talk to us. They still haven’t found Christian, which is really pissing everyone off. A few times, we have wanted to go out looking for him, but Brad always talks us out of it.
Pulling up at the ranch, I see the boys outside. Climbing out of my car, I start to walk over to them. “Hey, guys. What’s up?” I ask.
“Hey, Jase. We were just talking about things,” Jade says.
Just then, Brad comes out of the house and walks over to us. “Good morning, boys. Lily just called and said that they are letting Maggie come home today.” He grins.
“When can we go get her?” Creed asks.
Brad looks at us, his grin slipping. “I’m going to go by myself to get them. I don’t want to overwhelm her with too many people going to get her.” We nod, understanding that. We don’t want to overwhelm her, either.
Chase says, “Dad, why don’t you take Adam and Jase with you, at least.” Brad sighs and nods. We all get into the truck and silently head for the hospital.
As we arrive, Adam asks, “Does she remember anything yet?” Brad looks at him and just shakes his head.
We get out of the truck and walk into the hospital. As we walk into Maggie’s room, I notice that she looks a lot better today. Lily smiles at us, saying, “She’s ready. We’re just waiting on her discharge papers and medication.” Maggie turns around and smiles at us. My heart skips a beat. She looks happy, but confused at the same time.
Brad asks her, “How is my beautiful girl doing this morning?”
She looks over at him. “I’m doing great, actually.” Adam and I share a look. I wonder if she really means that. God, I love this girl. She is still the most beautiful thing in the world to me.
The nurse walks into the room and hands Lily papers and her medication, giving her the instructions. She then turns to Maggie. “Good luck, Maggie. You’re a beautiful girl that deserves more than this.” She smiles at the nurse through her tears. Please don’t cry, baby. You’re breaking my heart.
She and Lily walk out the door hand-in-hand, Brad on the other side of her. “I sure hope nothing goes wrong,” Adam whispers to me. I agree. Maggie has been through enough. We know that when and if she does remember everything, it might just break her.
As we get close to the truck, Maggie turns to Brad. “How long is it going to take to get to where we live?” For a split second, Brad looks horrified. Maggie’s smile falls.
Brad recovers and smiles at her. “It will take us a few hours, baby girl.”
We all climb into the truck and
head for home. I can’t help but wonder how Maggie is going to do when she goes back to school. In some ways, I really want her to remember things. In other ways, I don’t because I would really like to tell her how I feel about her. Lily says something to Adam, but I wasn’t paying attention so I didn’t catch what is was. He does look pissed, though. We arrive back at the ranch and I stroke Maggie’s face to wake her up. She looks around for a few minutes before I help her out of the truck. Her brothers, Amy, Nate, Todd, and my parents come walking over to us. Wait, she’s staring at the barn. Is she remembering something? Brad and Lily both try to get her attention, but she won’t take her eyes off the barn. I look over at Adam, whose eyes are wide, a look of concern on his face. Maggie starts walking towards the barn.
Creed steps toward her. “Maggie?”
“Let her go, son,” Brad says. Her eyes dart towards the path…the one that she took that day, the day that changed everything. Maggie starts walking towards it.
“We shouldn’t let her do this,” Jade says.
“How are we going to stop her?” Amy asks.
“We don’t. She needs to do this,” Brad says. Maggie stops walking when she reaches the path. We all share a look of worry and fear, but she’s smiling so it has to be a good memory. She starts walking again.
“I hope she doesn’t remember everything,” Adam whispers to me. I nod.
By the looks of it, she is remembering something else. She starts to turn around towards us, but stops. Her body goes rigid, and she has a look of horror on her face. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. This is going to kill her. “I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!!” she screams, then whispers, “I don’t want to remember this. I can’t.” Lily bends down to touch her, but Maggie moves away. “Please don’t touch me.” She sounds so scared. What can we do to help her?
Before any of us can do anything, Maggie gets up and runs for the barn. Amy and Lily both move to go after her, but Brad stops them. “No, she needs time. Just give her time.” They nod, tears running down their faces. “I should call the doctor. I want to see if there’s something we can do to help her through this,” Brad says. After Brad walks into the house, Adam turns to me and says
“Fuck! Why couldn’t that be the one thing she didn’t remember?”
“Doesn’t work like that… Bro” Jade pipes in.
“Pisses me the hell off… that fuck face is still out there” Creed growls
That seemed to get Lily’s attention, “You’s will not tell Maggie that he hasn’t been find”. Shit does she really think we would even do that to Maggie, she better get that outta her head now! I am so close to yelling at all of them. They are starting to piss me the hell off. What if Maggie came out right now and see this shit? God damn it! They ain’t using your fucking heads! Before Lily can open her mouth again, Chase Roars
“What. The. Hell, is your fucking problem? Are any of you using your heads right now? This right here is the last thing Maggie needs and you all fucking you it”
I stand there watching Chase stomp away, thank you Chase! I could give a fuck that he beat me to it. I’m just glad that they all shut their mouths. Looking about at everyone else, I shake my head and turn to follow Chase.
****
An hour later with still no sign of her, we go into the barn to check on Maggie. She’s standing with her arms around Storm. “Maggie, honey, the doctor wants to see you back at the hospital. He just wants to give you a check-up,” Brad says. She nods and comes out of the stall. You can feel how broken she is, kind of like she’s given up. I feel helpless. I don’t know how to help her.
We all stand there watching as they get into the truck and drive off, feels like we just stood there for an hour staring at the lane. It was probably only minutes. Amy was the first to head inside with my mom and Heather right behind her.
“We all need to get our headsstraight, so we can help Maggie though this. She needs us” Mark says
We all nod, a few minutes pass before we head into the house.
Four hours later, they’re back from the hospital. Lily helps her upstairs while Brad tells us that the doctor set her up with therapy and medication for panic attacks. Fuck!!! My poor gorgeous girl.
Chapter 14 (Maggie)
It’s a month later, and I’m back in school. The police still haven’t found Christian, and my family and friends still act like I am going to break. I know they are just concerned, but it’s driving me nuts. I wish everything could go back to being the way it was before. After the day we got back from the hospital and I remembered everything, I fell apart so Dad and Mom took me back to the hospital. We got meds for panic attacks, and I do therapy twice a week now. I still have nightmares every night so Mom either sleeps with me after my nightmare, or we sit downstairs and drink hot chocolate and talk about it. Chase, Todd, and Nate have gone back to work, but they all call me daily, and they are supposed to be visiting soon. Nate and Todd have become like brothers to me. I am so glad to have them in my life.
I’m at school right now, sitting in the lunch room, watching all the people I love…Adam, Jase, Amy, Jeff, Pete, and Jake. They are all goofing around, which is really nice to see after everything that has happened. There’s times when I still have issues with people touching me, but not as much as before. Kelly and Sarah come over and give me a hug. I stiffen up for a second, then hug them back. Jenny walks by our table and I get up to talk to her. “Hey, Jenny. Can we go outside and talk?” She looks taken aback, but then nods.
When we get outside, we find a tree to sit under. Then I see Adam, Jase, and the others sit down on the school steps. I roll my eyes and turn back to Jenny. “Jenny, you do know that I don’t blame you for what happened, right? You never sit with us at lunch anymore, and I really want you to.”
She looks at them, then back at me. “I know that, Maggie. I do. I don’t feel comfortable sitting with you and them after everything.” I understand, I guess, but it sucks that a friendship is ending because of it.
“Well, maybe someday you can try, or maybe we can hang out after school or something.” I need to keep my friendship with Jenny and, hopefully, we can help each other through this.
She looks down, then back at me and whispers, “I would really like to hang out after school.” I nod and smile. We say goodbye and hug, and I return to the others just as the bell rings.
All of us head towards the gym. Adam has his arm thrown around my shoulders, and Jase has a hold of my right hand since my left arm is still in a cast. Adam smiles at me. “So, baby girl, did you have a good talk with Jenny?”
I smile. “Yes, I did.” He already knows what we talked about so he doesn’t have to ask.
We make it to gym class and found out that we are playing dodge ball. Before I get a chance to say anything, Mr. Wade says, “Okay, class. You all know the rules, but I want to emphasize one important rule…NO HEAD SHOTS!!” He looks at me and smiles. Adam and Jase both have panicked looks on their faces. I smile, trying to reassure them that it will be fine.
Once we start the game, I can tell that people are avoiding me on purpose. Any time a ball came near me, someone else took the hit or the ball was thrown so weak that it hit the floor. Seriously, this is getting annoying. I am about ready to tell them all off when a ball hits my leg. I smile. It’s about time. I look up and realize that it was Mr. Wade who hit me. I laughed. “Thank-you, Mr. Wade!”
He smiled “You’re more than welcome, Maggie.”
****
After school, I jump into my jeep and head for home, and Amy isn’t too far behind me. The good thing is that the boys have football practice so I don’t have to deal with them right now. As soon as I am home, Mom asks how school was. “It was good. How was your day?”
She smiles at me. “It was good, baby girl.”
Ever since I woke up in the hospital, I get sudden headaches. I put my head on the table, feeling one of them coming on. It starts getting really bad. “Headache, baby girl?” Mom says. I nod, weakly. “Here are some p
ain pills. Take them and go lay down.”
I take them and go to get up, but I almost fall. My dad catches me. “Whoa, baby girl. Let me help.” He leads me to the sofa and helps me to lay down. He grabs a pillow and blanket for me.
“Daddy, can I please have some water?” He smiles and nods, walking into the kitchen. I think this headache is the worst one I’ve had. Dad walks back in with a bottle of water and a washcloth. He puts the washcloth on my forehead and hands me the water. I take a drink. “Thank-you for everything, Daddy.”
He gives me a kiss on my forehead, whispering, “You’re welcome, baby girl.”
****
When I wake up, I’m feeling better. I decide that taking a ride on Storm will be good to get my mind off things so I head out to the barn. Just as I am saddling up Storm, I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I look that way and see nothing. I must be seeing things. After all, I did have a really bad headache this afternoon. Then I see it again. Now I feel uneasy. What if there is someone out here with me? There’s no way it’s any of my brothers or Jase, and my dad wouldn’t do that so who is it? I put Storm back into his stall and start looking around to see if I can see anyone, but there is nothing. “I must be losing my mind,” I whisper.
Suddenly, all the hair stands up on the back of my neck, and I know who’s in here. How did he get in here without anyone noticing him? I try and figure out a way to get back to the house without letting him know that I know he’s here. As I’m thinking about what to do, Christian steps out of his hiding spot. I freeze. He just stands there, staring at me for the longest time. Then he starts to move toward me. I move backwards. He stops and frowns at me. “Why are you backing away, Maggie? I won’t hurt you.”
My Texas Sweetheart (book one) Page 8
