CHAPTER X.
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Hello."
"Is this the doctor?"
"It's one of 'em," said John, recognizing the voice of a patient.
"Well, doctor, the _other_ side of my throat is sore _now_!"
"Is it? Well, I told your husband it might be."
"Why?"
"Why? Well, because I'm running short of coffee and a few things likethat."
A little laugh. "_I_ don't want to keep you in coffee and things likethat."
"Nobody does. But the poor doctors have to live and you must contributeyour share." Laughter.
"All right, Doctor, but I don't want to have to contribute too much."
"Don't be alarmed about your throat, Mrs. Channing. When I looked at ityesterday, I saw indications that the other side might be affected, butit will soon be well."
"That sounds better. Thank you, good-bye." When he came back to thetable his wife said, "John, I shouldn't think you'd say things like thatto people."
"Why?"
"Well, they might believe 'em." The doctor laughed, swallowed his cup oftea and departed.
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Three times.
"Hello."
"Is Dr. Blank at home?"
"He has just this minute left for the office. 'Phone him there in twominutes and you will get him."
Mary went back, took two bites and when the third was suspended on herfork the 'phone rang.
"Somebody else," she thought, laying the fork down and rising.
"Oh! I've got you again, Mrs. Blank. You said to ring in two minutes andI'd get the doctor."
"But you didn't wait _one_ minute."
"It seemed lots longer. All right, I'll wait."
"People expect a doctor to get there in less than no time," thoughtMary. "John walks so fast I felt safe in telling her to 'phone him intwo minutes."
_Buzz-z-z-z-z_, as if all the machinery of the universe were let loosein her ear. She had held the receiver till her husband could reach theoffice so she might feel assured the anxious one had found him. Yes,that was his voice.
"Dr. Blank, you're president of the board of health, ain't ye?"
"Yes--guess so."
"This is Jack Johnson's. There's a dead horse down here by our house an'I want you to come down here an' bury it." Our listener heard thewoman's teeth snap together.
"All right. I'll get a spade and come right along."
"What do they take my husband for," thought Mary.
Buzz-z-z-z at her ear again. Now it was her husband's voice saying,
"Give me number forty-five."
In a minute a gentlemanly voice said, "Hello."
"Is this you, Warner?"
"Yes."
"There's a dead horse down by Jack Johnson's. Go down there and buryit."
"All right, Doc. I'll be right along."
A burst of laughter from the doctor was echoed by Warner. Mary knew thatWarner was the newly elected alderman and she smiled as she pictured thenew officer leaving his elegant home and going down to perform theobsequies. Nevertheless her heart leaned toward Jack Johnson's wife, forit was plain to be seen that neither the new president of the board ofhealth nor the new alderman had a realizing sense of his duties.
Half an hour later three rings sounded.
"Is this Dr. Blank's office?"
"No, his residence."
"Well, I see by the paper he's on the board of health and we want thismanure-pile taken away from here."
"Please 'phone your complaints to the doctor," said Mary, calmlyreplacing the receiver and shutting off the flood.
"John's existence will be made miserable by this new honor thrust uponhim," she thought.
When he came home that evening she asked if the second complainant hadfound him.
"Yes, she found me all right."
"They're going to make day hideous and night lamented, aren't they?"
"O, no. I'll just have a little fun and then send someone to look aftertheir complaints."
Just before bed-time the doctor was called to the 'phone.
"Doctor, this is the nurse at the hotel. What had I better do with thisPolish girl's hand?"
"Doesn't it look all right?"
"Yes, it's doing fine."
"Just let it alone, then."
"She won't be satisfied. She thinks we ought to be doing something toit. And I've got to do something or she'll go off upstairs and wash itin dirty water."
"Tell her not to do anything of the kind."
"She can't understand a word I say and I don't know what to do with her.She's had the bandage off once already."
"The devil she has! Well, then you'll have to unwrap it, I guess, andpretend to do something. But it would be better to let it alone."
"I know that."
"How is the other patient tonight?"
"Doing fine, Doctor."
"Good! Good-bye."
* * * * *
There was a spacious, airy, upper chamber opening out on a balcony atthe doctor's house which the doctor and Mary claimed for theirs. Notnow; O no! But in the beautiful golden sometime when the telephoneceased from troubling and the weary ones might rest. This meant when thedoctor should retire from night practice. Until that happy time theyoccupied a smaller room on the first floor as it was near the telephone.Mary had steadfastly refused to have the privacy of her upper roomsinvaded by the tyrant.
One warm summer night when bed-time came she made the announcement thatshe was going upstairs to sleep in the big room.
"But what if I should be called out in the night?" asked her husband,with protest in his voice.
"Then I'd be safer up there than down here," said Mary, calmly.
"But I mean you couldn't hear the 'phone."
"That is a consummation devoutly to be wished."
"Now don't go off up there," expostulated John. "You always hear it andI sort of depend on you to get me awake."
"Exactly. But it's a good thing for a man to depend on himself once inawhile. I was awake so often last night that I'm too tired and sleepy toargue. But I'm going. Good night."
"Thunder!"
"It doesn't ring _every_ night," said Mary, comfortingly from thelanding. "Let us retire in the fond belief that curfew will not ringtonight."
When she retired she fell at once into deep sleep. For two hours sheslept sweetly on. Then she was instantly aroused. The figure of a manstood by her side. In the moonlight she saw him plainly, clad in black.Her heart was coming up into her throat when a voice said,
"Mary, I have to go two miles into the country."
"Why didn't you call me, John, instead of standing there and scaring meto death?"
"I did call you but I couldn't get you awake."
"Then you ought to have let me be. If a woman hasn't a right to anight's sleep once in awhile what _is_ she entitled to?"
This petulance was unusual with his wife. "Well, come on down now,Mary," he said, kindly.
"I'm not going down there this night."
"But you can't hear the 'phone up here and I'm expecting a message anyminute that must be answered."
"I'll--hear--that--'phone," said Mary. "I'll sleep with one ear and oneeye open."
"Have it your own way," said the doctor as he started down the stairs.
"I intend to. But when I tell you I'll watch the 'phone, John, you knowI'll do it."
He was gone and she lay wide awake. It seemed very hard to be ruthlesslypulled from a sleep so deep and delicious and so much needed.
By and by her eye-lids began to feel heavy and her thoughts wentwandering into queer places. "This won't do," she said aloud, sitting upin bed. Then she rose and went out on to the balcony. Seating herself inan arm chair, she looked about her on the silvery loveliness. Thecricket's chirr and the occasional affirmations of the katy-did were theonly sounds she heard. "I didn't say you didn't. Don't be so spitefulabout it."
The moon, shining through the branches of the big oak tree madefaintly-flickering shadows at her feet. The white hammock, stirringoccasionally as a breeze touched it, invited her. She went over to itand lay for many minutes looking up, noting how fast the moon glidedfrom one branch of the tree to another. Now it neared the trunk. Now aslice was cut off its western rim. Now it was only a half moon--"abweak-moon on the sky," as her little boy had called it. Now there was atotal eclipse. When it began peeping out on the other side of the trunkour watcher's dreamful eyes took no note of it. A dog barked. She sprangup and seated herself in the chair again. She dare not trust herself tothe hammock. It was too seductive and too delightful. So she sat erectand waited for the ring which might not come but which must be watchedfor just the same. Her promise had gone forth. Far up the street sheheard horses' hoofs--it must be John returning. The buggy-top shining inthe moonlight came into view. No, it was a white horse. Her vigil wasnot yet ended. A quarter of an hour later she discerned a figure fardown the walk. She followed it with her eyes. It moved swiftly on. Wouldit turn at the corner and come up toward their house? Yes, it wasturning. Then it turned into the yard. It was John. She went forward andleaning over the railing called down to him, "A good chance to playRomeo now, John." John only grunted--after the manner of husbands.
"Nobody rang. I'm going to bed again. Good night--I mean good morning."
* * * * *
The next night was hotter than ever and Mary made up her mind she wouldsleep up in the hammock. She had had a delicious taste of it which madeher wish for more. To avoid useless discussion she would wait till Johnretired and was asleep, then she would quietly steal away. But when thiswas accomplished and she had settled herself comfortably to sleep shefound herself wide awake. She closed her eyes and gently wooed slumber,but it came not. Ah, now she knew! The night before she had shaken offall responsibility for the 'phone. Therefore she could sleep. Tonighther husband lay unconscious of her absence and the burden of it was uponher shoulders again. Well, she must try to sleep anyway, this was toogood a chance to lose. She fell asleep. After awhile dinner was ready.Mollie had rung the little bell for the boys. Now she was ringing itagain. Where can the boys have got to? Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Mary sat up in the hammockand rubbed her eyes.
"Oh!" she sprang out and rushed to the stairs. "Doctor!"
"John!" The snores continued. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!
"Oh, dear!" gasped Mary, hurrying down as fast as her feet could takeher. Straight to the 'phone she went. It must be appeased first.
"Hello?"
"Hell-_o_! Where's the doctor?"
"He is very fast asleep."
"I've found that out. Can you get him awake?" Sharp impatience was inthe man's voice.
"Hold the 'phone a minute, please, and I'll rouse him."
She went into the bedroom and calling, "John! John!" shook him soundlyby the shoulders. He sat up in bed with a wild look.
"Go to the 'phone, quick!" commanded Mary.
"Eh?"
"Go to the _'phone_. It's been ringing like fury. Hurry."
At last he was there and his wife knew by his questions and answers thathe would be out for the rest of the night. She crept into bed. After hewas gone she would go upstairs. When he was dressed he came to the doorand peered in.
"That's right, Mary," he said, with such hearty satisfaction in histones that she answered cheerfully, "All right--I'll stay this time."
And when he was gone she turned her face from the moonlit window andslept till morning, oblivious to the thieves and murderers that did notcome.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Is the doctor there?"
"He was called out awhile ago; will be back in perhaps twenty minutes."
"This is Mr. Cowan. I only wanted to ask if my wife could have somelemonade this morning. She is very thirsty and craves it--but I can callagain after awhile."
How discouraging to the feverish, thirsty wife to have her husband comeback and tell her he would 'phone again after awhile. And if, afterwaiting, he still failed to find the doctor? Mary knew the Cowans quitewell so she made bold to say, hastily, "I think the doctor would say_yes_."
"You think he would?" asked Mr. Cowan, hopefully.
"I think he would, but don't let her have too much, of course."
"All right. Thank you, Mrs. Blank."
An uneasy feeling came into Mary's mind and would not depart as she wentabout her work. Really, what right had she to prescribe for a sick womaneven so harmless a thing as lemonade. How did she know that it washarmless. Perhaps in this case there was some combination of symptomswhich would make that very thing the thing the patient ought not tohave.
In about fifteen minutes there came a ring--three. Mary startedguiltily. It sounded like the doctor's ring. Was he going to reprimandher? But it was the voice of a friend and it surprised Mary with thisquestion:
"Mrs. Blank, if you were me would you have your daughter operated upon?"
"Operated upon for what?"
"For appendicitis."
"Nettie, let me tell you something: if I had no more sense than to giveyou advice on such a question as that, I certainly hope you would havemore sense than to take it. Advice about a thing with no sort ofknowledge of that thing is as worthless as it is common."
"Why--I thought since you are a doctor's wife you would know about it."
"Can you draw up a legal will because you happen to be the wife of alawyer?"
"No-o, but--"
"But me no buts," quoth Mary. "We're even now."
"Well, I've heard it said a doctor's wife knows even less than manyothers about ills and their remedies because she is so used to dependingon her husband that she never has to think of them herself. I guess I'dbetter talk to the doctor. I just thought I'd see what you said first.Good-bye."
"My skirts are clear of any advice in that direction," thought Mary, hermind reverting again to the lemonade.
"Nettie couldn't have 'phoned me at a more opportune minute to get theright answer. But I wonder if John is back. I'll see." She rang.
"Hello."
"Say, John, Mr. Cowan 'phoned awhile ago, and his wife was very thirstyand craved lemonade and--don't scold--I took the liberty of saying--it'sawful for a thirsty person to have to wait and wait you know--and so Isaid I thought _you_ would say she might have it."
"I hope you weren't this long about it," laughed her husband.
"Then it was all right?"
"Certainly." Much relieved Mary hung up the receiver. "What needlessapprehension assails us sometimes," she thought, as she went singing toher broom.
"Just the same, I won't prescribe very often."
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife Page 11
