“I just… feel as though maybe I’ve missed out on things because of it. I wish that I had taken a few years off after high school… I wish I had travelled a little, seen the world... and then maybe I would have been more able to appreciate the college experience.”
“That… makes sense,” Keith said after a moment. “You can still travel the world, you know.”
“I know,” Kristina nodded. “But it’s different now once you’ve got a fresh degree in your hands. You almost feel obligated to go out and get a job, start paying off the loans and contributing to society in some way.”
“Fuck society,” Keith said. “The only thing you should be concerned with is yourself.”
“Keith!” Emma exclaimed as though she were ashamed. “That language has no place at the dinner table.” If it had been any other day on any other moment, Keith might have laughed it off. “Sorry,” he mumbled instead and focused once again on his food.
“I’m sorry about him, Kristina,” Emma said, shaking her head in Keith’s direction. “I raised him better than that.”
Keith didn’t look directly at her, but he could see the smile that Kristina was trying hard to keep off her face. “Don’t worry about it, Emma,” she said easily. “I’ve heard the word before… even at the dinner table. My parents swear like sailors.”
Emma laughed at that. “Do they?”
“You’d expect them to be more dignified,” Kristina went on. “But they’re not.”
Emma smiled. “Well that does make me feel a little better.”
Keith rolled his eyes and reached for the pitcher of lemonade. “Do you have any booze in the house?”
“Just beer,” Emma replied.
“What about some tequila?”
Emma frowned at him. “No, I don’t,” she said. “It’s getting late, and Kristina looks tired. Maybe we should just say goodnight? I’ll take care of the dishes.”
“Fine,” Keith said shortly. “I’ll show Kristina to her room.”
He rose, and Kristina followed him. He heard her thank his mother, and then they moved out of the kitchen and into the narrow corridor where the rooms were located. “This one is yours,” he indicated, as he pushed open the door. He usually crashed in this room whenever he decided to spend the night at his mother’s; the last time had been months ago now. The room was small, but Emma always kept it clean and tidy. Keith set down Kristina’s duffel bag by the bed and turned to her.
She looked particularly small in the room beside him, and Keith was conscious of what a giant he must seem to her. He was very aware that he should be saying goodnight and leaving her to the room, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
“Thank you,” Kristina said slowly. “You’re doing so much for me.”
“I’m the one who brought you into this mess,” Keith said quickly. “I should be the one to make sure you’re safe. I would do it for anyone,” he added quickly, hoping she would understand what he meant by that.
“You would?” Kristina asked.
“Yes,” Keith said firmly.
Kristina nodded as understanding flooded through her face. “Got it,” she said, as she turned and sat down on the bed. Again, Keith knew it was time for him to go, and yet he stayed his ground.
“I’ll be in tomorrow to check on you,” he said.
“You don’t have to do that,” Kristina said quickly. “I’ll be fine here. I have to go back on Tuesday anyway. My classes start up again.”
“I’ll assign someone to you.”
“Excuse me?” Kristina asked.
“Once your classes start… you will need someone watching over you…”
“Why?” Kristina demanded.
“I think we’ve established why,” Keith said incredulously.
“That’s unnecessary.”
“That note was real, Kristina,” Keith said forcefully.
“I’ll admit I was terrified a few hours ago,” Kristina said calmly. “But it was just a threat. I don’t think they’re really going to hurt me.”
Keith felt the need to take a deep breath. “You are severely underestimating these men, Kristina,” he said fiercely. “They are capable of much more than people could even imagine. These guys… they don’t pay attention to things like the law. It’s a nonentity for them, which makes them much more dangerous than any other criminal out there.”
“Is that the kind of gang you belong to as well?” Kristina asked.
Keith sighed, knowing he had walked right into that one. “I… we… take loopholes,” he conceded reluctantly. “But we don’t deal in the same kind of trade that the Chains deal in. Their trade is much more brutal, and that makes them brutal as well.”
“They’re not going to do anything to me,” Kristina said again. She sounded as though she were trying to convince herself.
“You don’t know them,” Keith said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know this world. You have no idea… no idea… this is not some high school drama. When shit goes down in this part of town… people do die.”
“I’m not an idiot,” Kristina snapped as she stood suddenly, throwing Keith off guard for a moment. “So don’t treat me like one.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Goodnight,” Kristina said abruptly, cutting him off.
Keith stared at her furious face for a moment, and then he nodded once, before turning and leaving the room.
Emma was sitting in the living room, waiting for him. “Is everything ok?” she asked.
“Everything is fine,” Keith said testily, and Emma’s eyebrows rose immediately. Keith sighed and took a seat opposite her. “I’m just… stressed out,” he said shortly.
“And how is Kristina?” Emma asked pointedly.
“Shaken I think,” Keith replied. “But like all strong women, she doesn’t want to show it.”
“You seem to be a little worse off than she is,” Emma observed gently.
Keith dropped his head for a moment. “I can’t believe this is happening again.”
“You should have told me about her,” Emma said.
“There was no need,” Keith said stubbornly. “We’re not together; she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a girl I happen to know.”
“Kovic wouldn’t be so interested in her if she was really just a girl you happen to know,” Emma said shrewdly. “You and I both know that.”
“Mom…” Keith said warningly.
“This is all a big, stupid mistake,” Keith said. “Kovic saw us together one time, and he decided that it meant something.”
“I think you’re the one who decided it meant something by how much time you’ve been spending with her,” Emma said gently.
“How do you know how much time I’ve been spending with her?” Keith demanded.
“Kristina and I were talking before dinner.”
Keith sighed. “I knew it was a bad idea to leave you with Kristina.”
“Don’t be rude.”
Keith smiled. “I’m not being rude. I’m being honest.”
Emma gave him a look, and then she returned his smile. “I like her.”
Keith felt delight flood through him, and immediately he felt like an idiot for having the feeling at all. He shouldn’t want his mother’s approval, mainly because there was no relationship in existence for her to approve. He was not a boy who needed permission. He was a man who knew he had made a mistake.
“I wouldn’t get too close if I were you,” Keith said, hardening to his new purpose. “She’s not going to be around for long.”
Emma sighed. “I wish you’d stop being so cold all the time, Keith. It’s not a uniform you’re forced to wear every day.”
“Unfortunately, I choose to,” Keith snapped. “I can’t believe you of all people are pushing this?”
“What does that mean?” Emma asked defiantly.
“More than anyone else I know, you were the one who saw how much Natalie’s death cost me,” Keith said, looking his mother in
the eye. “You alone knew how much I suffered after I was forced to bury her. I can’t believe that after all that you’d want me to go through the same thing again.”
“You’re assuming it will be the same thing again,” Emma pointed out.
“And it will be,” Keith went on. “If I pursue a relationship with Kristina… which is exactly why I’m not going to.”
“So that is the only reason,” Emma latched onto his words.
“No,” Keith said quickly, trying to correct the mistake. “That’s not the only reason.”
“That’s what you said.”
“But it’s not what I meant,” he insisted. “It is a part of it, but the bigger reason is that I don’t want a relationship period…and especially not with Kristina.”
Emma seemed taken aback by that. “And why not?” she asked.
“Come on, Mom,” Keith said as he shook his head.
She stared at him for a moment. “You’re going to have to explain that to me, because I don’t know what you mean by it.”
“We’re from two different worlds, Mom,” Keith said with a sigh. “She’s in college for God’s sake, and she’ll be done with it soon enough and then she’ll be gone. She’ll end up working in some great job in the city, she’ll be successful and happy, then she’ll meet some guy who probably wears suits every day and earns six figures, and then they’ll have perfect children and live their perfect lives.”
“You sound jealous,” Emma observed.
“I’m not,” Keith said sincerely. “That’s not the life I want; it never has been. I don’t fit into that picture, but Kristina does, and it’s no less than what she deserves. I don’t pretend that I don’t care about her. I do. I want her to have a good life, and I want her to be happy. But I don’t want the same things she does, and that means we’re better off apart. We’re better off as friends.”
“What does she want?” Emma asked. “Have you asked her?"
“I… I don’t have to,” Keith said with conviction. “She wouldn’t be in college in the first place if she wasn’t a certain type of person.”
Emma shook her head at him. “For all your big talk Keith… sometimes you can be so narrow minded. So she’s different, so she chose to go to college, that doesn’t mean anything. She might surprise you.”
“Talking to her for a couple of hours doesn’t mean that you know her, Mom,” Keith pointed out.
Emma nodded calmly. “And spending weeks and months with her doesn’t mean you know her either,” she threw back. “You want to know what she wants with her life… how about you ask her?”
Keith fell silent for a moment. He knew this was not an argument they were going to win anytime soon. “I should get going,” he said.
“You can spend the night here, you know,” Emma suggested.
Keith almost considered the offer, but something made him cautious to accept it. He didn’t want to think too much of Kristina sleeping in the room next to him. He didn’t want his mind wandering to places it had no business going. “I think I’ll head home,” he said, as he rose heavily to his feet.
“You’re a stubborn boy, you know,” Emma said as she walked him to the door.
Keith smiled. “I get it from you.”
Emma shrugged. “I suppose you had to get something from me.”
“Goodnight, Mom,” Keith said, as he bent down and placed a kiss on Emma’s cheek.
“Goodnight son,” Emma replied. “Drive safe.”
Keith nodded and walked down the path towards his bike. He had to stay away from Kristina, and he knew it, but the threatening note that had been thrown through Kristina’s window meant that he couldn’t extract himself from her life just yet. He hated Kovic for his lies and his threats and his promise of violence, but there was a tiny little part of him that was secretly glad. He was glad because he had the perfect excuse to continue to be around Kristina. Kovic had provided him with the perfect alibi.
Chapter Nineteen
Kristina
Kristina was hoping to see Keith when she walked into the kitchen the next morning, but it was only Emma who stood there. She was standing by the stove, spooning sausages into one plate and eggs into another. There was already a platter of crispy bacon on the table, next to bagels, butter, and orange juice.
“You shouldn’t have made so much, Emma,” Kristina said as she sat down at the table. “I don’t think I can eat.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Emma said with finality. “You’ll eat something.”
Kristina smiled. “You sound like my grandmother.”
Emma joined her at the table. “Your mother didn’t say the same thing?”
“Well, not really,” Kristina said, as she accepted the plate that Emma passed to her. “I never really saw my mother much. She was a surgeon, and she worked crazy hours.”
“Who raised you?” Emma asked.
“My grandmother mostly,” Kristina replied. “After she died, I had a string of babysitters.”
“That must have been hard.”
Kristina shrugged. “It was only for a short time,” she said. “Then I was old enough not to need anyone anymore.”
“I found that it doesn’t matter how old we get,” Emma said quietly, “we always need someone.”
Kristina looked down at her plate and bit off a piece of crispy bacon. It tasted so delicious that she savored the taste on her tongue before she spoke. “I can’t remember the time when I last had a home cooked meal.”
“You don’t go home often?” Emma asked.
Kristina smiled, but she didn’t begrudge Emma her curiosity. Everyone was usually curious about other people and their lives. “I haven’t been recently,” she answered. “Like I said, my mom’s a surgeon and my dad’s a lawyer. They both have really busy lives, so even if I were to drop in at home, I wouldn’t see too much of them.”
“Won’t they be coming for your graduation?” Emma asked.
“They will,” Kristina nodded. “It’ll be nice to see them after so long.”
“You haven’t mentioned any siblings?”
“I don’t have any,” Kristina replied. “My parents only ever wanted the one kid.”
Emma smiled. “I always wanted another child,” she said. “But… I just didn’t think it was fair.”
“Fair?”
“Well… Keith’s father… was not the best man, and I didn’t really know that until after I got pregnant with Keith. I just didn’t feel it would be fair to have more children with a man like that.”
Kristina nodded with understanding as her own curiosity rose up to meet Emma’s past. “Can I ask you a personal question?” she asked cautiously.
“You can ask,” Emma nodded, though she seemed a little nervous.
“You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to… I just wanted to know… if you ever thought of just… leaving him?”
“Ah,” Emma said with a sad smile. “I must have thought of it at least a hundred times a day… I just never had the courage to actually do it. You see, I didn’t have very good parents… I had no college degree and no one to help me. Plus… I was terrified of him. He promised to kill Keith and me if I ever tried to leave him, and I believed that he would. So I stayed.”
“How… how did you get away from… that?” Kristina asked, wondering if she would go too far with her questions.
“It was Keith,” Emma said slowly, as a smile transformed her face. “He was the one who saved me. He saved the both of us.”
“How?”
“He found the Iron Dragons,” Emma explained. “He was about fifteen when he met Ezekiel for the first time.”
“Ezekiel?”
“Ezekiel Seton,” Emma replied. “He was Miles’s father and the founder of the Iron Dragons. He took Keith under his wing, and he became a father figure in Keith’s eyes. When he died, Miles started the auto shop as a front, and he brought Keith in on the business and the gang. Slowly… the boy I knew transformed
into a man… a man who wasn’t afraid of anything. He’s always believed that it was the Dragons that gave him the courage to stand up to his father… but he was wrong. He always had it in him… he just lacked the capacity to believe in himself.”
“He came home one day and Arnold beating on me as usual. I saw the look in his eyes as he came forward. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. He had transformed; I could see it; and I knew immediately that this was it. Either he would end up dead… or my husband would.”
Tempted: The Numb MC Page 39
