by Marilyn Lee
“What? She knows better than that!”
Amber shrugged. “But you were with another woman.”
“Not in the way you're making it sound.”
“Whatever. I'm not the one you have to convince, which is just as well because I don't know if I'd believe you didn't sleep with her ... in light of the history between you two.”
“Do me a favor and just please go to bed, Amber. I am not in the mood for any of your damned backtalk.”
To his surprise, she crossed the room and bent to kiss his cheek. “When she finds out you’ve been with Cami, it’s not going to be a good thing. Call her, Clay. Please.” She kissed his cheek again and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
He picked up the phone and called Darbi. He got her voice mail. He listened to her greeting, hesitated, and then spoke. “Honey, it's Clay. I'm sorry about last night. I got held up and ... I'll call you in a few hours. I love you.”
“Clay?”
He tensed as Darbi picked up the phone. “Yes. I'm sorry I --”
Her voice rose. “Where have you been, Clay?”
He sighed and closed his eyes. Did he dare admit he'd been with Cami? He knew he'd have to tell her eventually, but decided that confession would be best made in person. “I was with a friend.”
“All day and all night? Why didn't you call me, Clay?”
“I left my cell phone here when I left.”
“And this ... friend doesn't have a phone?”
He hesitated to admit that he'd been reluctant to call her while he was still with Cami. “Yes, but I didn't expect to be there that long and the time just got away from me.”
“This ... friend you were with ... what's his name?”
Shit. “I was with Cami.”
He heard her suck in an angry sounding breath. “You stood me up to spend the entire day and night with that ... with her?”
He was definitely in deep shit. “Darbi, I didn't stand you up. I left a message --”
“Telling me you'd call me in a few hours! What the hell were you doing with her all that time, Clay?”
His grip tightened on the phone. “Talking.”
“You expect me to believe you spent twelve hours talking to her? Did you talk before or after you fucked her?”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Darbi? I didn't fuck her!”
“No? Well, even if you didn't fuck her last night, you can start from tonight on because I don't ever want to see you again!”
“What? Darbi --”
She hung up.
When he redialed her number, she answered in a cold, angry voice. “It's over between us, so please don't call me again, Clay.”
“Honey, please don't overreact. I know you’re upset, but I promise you I did not --”
“I don't care about your promises. You spent all those hours with a former lover and expect me to believe nothing happened? Well, I don't believe you, Clay.”
“You don't ... are you calling me a liar?”
“In a word -- yes!”
“Darbi --”
“And it’s not exactly the first time you’ve lied to me, is it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the little threesome you had going with her and Damien?”
Damn Amber’s big mouth. “That relationship was over the moment I met you.”
“Is that what you would have expected of me? To sleep with you both?”
“Hell, no! Damien and I ... I know our relationship with Cami is difficult to explain, but ... it’s never happened with anyone else. We do not share our women. We’ve never even dated the same women. I love you too much to --”
“Tell it to, Cami.”
“Darbi --”
“Leave me alone, Clay!”
She hung up again.
He tossed the phone across the room and stretched out on his bed, taking slow, deep breaths in an effort to hold onto his temper. Who the hell did she think she was to accuse him of lying and cheating? What the hell did he need with a relationship with an insecure woman who didn't trust him? She didn't want to see him? Fine. She could go find herself that elusive black man she was forever tossing into his face.
* * *
After hanging up on Clay, Darbi got up and dressed in a sweat suit. Tears stinging her eyes, she picked up the phone again.
“Hello?” A sleepy male voice answered on the fourth ring.
She bit her lip. “Jefferson ... I know it's late and I'm so sorry for bothering you, but I need to speak to Sharde.”
“Darbi? Is something wrong?”
“Can I please speak to Sharde?”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No.”
“Hold on a second, I'll wake her.”
Sharde got on the phone several moments later, her voice sleep-slurred. “Darbi? Girl, what's wrong?”
“It's Clay, Sharde. It's over between us and I ... I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to talk.”
“Ah ... okay. I'll come --”
“No. I don't want to be here in case Clay comes.”
“Are you in any shape to drive?”
“Yes, I --”
“Never mind. I'll get Jeff up and --”
“No. Don't do that.”
“Jeff and I will come get you and take you to my place where we can talk. I don't want you driving over here. Stay there and we'll be there in about forty minutes or so.”
* * *
“Why didn't you call her and explain where you were?”
Clay paused in pacing his living room to face Betty, who sat on his sofa, her dark gaze trained on him. “I knew she had a problem with my relationship with Cami and I didn't want to call her from Cami's.”
“If you knew she had a problem with Cami, why did you stay with her so long?”
“Betty! Surely you can understand. Cami was ... inconsolable. I was afraid to leave her.”
“All the more reason you should have called Darbi.”
“I love her and I know she loves me, but she’s insecure about our relationship.”
“Why do you think she’s insecure?”
He gave her a weary look. “I have no idea. I’ve never given her any real reason not to trust me.”
“You’ve gone out of your way to assure her you won’t marry her and you wonder why she’s feeling insecure?”
He clenched his jaw. “I’ve also gone out of my way to tell her time and time again that I love her and she’s the only woman I want.”
“That’s wonderful, but some women need more, Clay.”
“I’ve given her all I have to give.”
“And what if that’s not enough for her?”
He tightened his lips. “Then she has a problem.”
“That’s not the attitude to take with the woman you love, Clay. You’re a good man but you’re making too many mistakes with her. You need to rethink this no-marriage nonsense and explain why you didn’t call her from Cami’s.”
“I told you why. She wouldn't have understood.”
She sighed. “Maybe not, but at least she would have known where you were instead of worrying.”
“If I had realized she was worrying, I would have called.”
She nodded. “I know you would have. Now, you'll have to convince her you love her and that --”
He shook his head. “I tried to explain and she called me a lying cheat and hung up on me. If that's the way she wants it ... fine.”
“I know you're hurt and angry, Clay, but try to look at it from her standpoint. How would you have felt if your positions were reversed and she'd spent so much time with a former lover?”
He tightened his lips. “I'd like to think I would have at least been willing to listen to her before deciding she was a lying cheat!”
Betty tilted her head and looked at him. “And if she'd spent that time with her ex-hubby?”
“I trust her, Betty, but she clearly doesn't trust me! What kind
of relationship can we have now that I know just how little she thinks of me?”
Betty rose and crossed the room to him. She touched his arm. “She's a woman in love with an attractive, successful, wealthy man. Instead of your love giving her confidence, it might make her feel unworthy of you ... that you couldn't possibly really love her as much as she loves you. And she does love you, Clay. A woman so deeply in love with a man is a vulnerable creature easily hurt and confused.”
“I have feelings that can be hurt too, Betty. I’m not made of stone.”
She squeezed his hands. “I know that, Clay and I can see the hurt in your eyes.”
He swallowed and took a long, deep breath.
“I know this is difficult for you, but I think you need to swallow your pride and beg her to see you so you can explain and ask for her forgiveness.”
“But I haven't done anything! I swear I did not sleep with Cami.”
“Did she want you to?”
He sighed, glanced briefly away, and nodded. “But I didn't. I told her I was in love with Darbi and she didn't press the issue. It's not as if she really wanted to sleep with me. She just wanted comfort. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed with her so long, but we've been friends for nearly twenty-four years. I couldn't leave her when she was so upset.”
“And now you have Darbi upset with you. I understand your loyalty to Cami, Clay, but what about the feelings of the woman you love? Friends are important and should always be cherished, but shouldn't the woman you love come first with you?”
“She does! If she had only told me she planned something special, there’s no way I would have stayed so long with Cami.”
“But you would still have gone to see her when she called you?”
He nodded. “Yes. I can be friends with Cami and still have Darbi be the most important person in my life.”
“You'll have to make her believe that, Clay.” She squeezed his hand again. “Why don't you call her?”
He shook his head. “I didn't do anything wrong and I'm not apologizing for being there for a friend who's always been there for me.”
“We're talking about the woman you love, Clay.”
“I'm not apologizing, Betty.”
She sighed. “Put your pride on the back burner. Then take a few hours to think about what she means to you. When you have, decide what you want to do and how much you’re willing to extend yourself for her. And if you need to talk again --”
“I know. Thanks.”
She kissed his cheek, hugged him. “I have to go.”
He walked her to her car and waited until she drove through the gates before going back inside.
Once in the living room, he resumed pacing. He was still at it when Sharde arrived unexpectedly an hour later. He gave her a cool look as she sat on the sofa Betty had occupied. “What brings you here, Sharde?”
“I want to talk to you about Darbi.”
He shook his head. “Stay out of this.”
“I can't. She's one of my best friends, Clay.”
“How does that give you the right to interfere in our relationship?”
“I'm not interfering because I'm nosy. I'm here because I care about both of you. She's so hurt.”
“And you think I'm not after being accused of lying and cheating? Why the hell does everyone keep acting as if I have no feelings? I never gave her any reason not to trust me.”
“Maybe you think you didn't, but your ... insistence that marriage isn't necessary doesn't exactly inspire confidence in a woman, Clay.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you going to accuse me of cheating too?”
“No, but then I'm not in love with you. If I were, I'd be just as upset as she is at your spending so much time with an ex-lover.”
“She's not just an ex-lover. She's a friend of over twenty years. If Darbi can't understand that, she's the one with the problem.”
“Clay --”
“Did she ask you to come here?”
“No.”
“Does she know you’re here?”
“No. When I left, she was finally asleep. I won’t stay long --”
“Then at the risk of appearing rude, would you see yourself out?”
Sharde compressed her lips and rose. “Fine, I'll go, Clay, but, unless you're planning to throw me out, I'm going to have my say first.”
He stared at her.
She crossed the room to stare up at him. “Do you remember when Jeff didn't want to commit to me?”
“What has your bonehead finance got to do with this?”
Her dark eyes spat sparks at him. “You can call him a bonehead if you like, Clay. And you know what? You were probably right about that -- then. The strange thing is, you're acting the same way he did. Tell me, Clay, is it a white guy thing?”
His nostrils flared. “That’s a damned racist remark, Sharde.”
She shook her head. “You know damn well it isn’t. It was just my attempt to ... get you to see sense.”
“Well, it didn’t work.”
She sighed. “How can I get through to you? Jeff nearly lost me to you because he didn’t think the commitment I needed from him was important. If he hadn't come to his senses and if you hadn't gone to visit your mother, we would have ended up as lovers.”
“Well, we didn’t and that’s fine.”
She nodded. “Yes, it is because I wouldn’t trade him for two of you and I’m sure you feel the same way about trading Darbi for me.”
“Look, Sharde, I’m delighted you’re so happy with your damned bonehead, but I’d rather not discuss my personal life with you anymore.”
“Fine. Just hear me out and I’ll go.”
“Make it quick because I’ve heard about all I want to from you.”
She laughed. “And I used to think you were so charming.”
“Speak your mind and leave.”
She nodded. “All right. You can waste time worrying about who's right and who's wrong and complain that she doesn't trust you and you're not apologizing all you want. But when you've finished whining, realize that you’re running the risk of losing her. She's stronger than I am. I had to take Jeff back because I love him so much and life without him seemed unbearable.
“Darbi has the strength of character to love you and still move on without you in her life. If that's what you want, keep being stubborn and she'll be out of your life.”
“That's her choice.”
She shook her head. “Lord, you're an ass. It's taken you nearly forty years to really fall in love with someone and you're prepared to throw it away for the sake of your pride? I hope your pride keeps you happy when you lose her.” She glared at him and stalked out of the living room.
Amber appeared in the doorway. “She's right, you know.”
“I am not apologizing for something I didn't do.”
Amber shrugged. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“I intend to.” He crossed the room and walked past her out of the living room.
She followed him into the front foyer, watching as he picked up his car keys from the hall table. “You're going out?”
“Yes.”
She bit her lip. “I need to talk to you. Can I come along?”
“No. We can talk later. I’ll want to know why you felt the need to tell Darbi about Cami and me and Damien.”
She sighed. “She told you I did that?”
“No, but it wasn’t Damien, so that leaves you. Why did you do it? If you hadn’t, she might not have been so quick to think I’d slept with Cami.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t mean to. Oh, Clay, please don’t think I did it intentionally in some effort to drive a wedge between you two. I didn’t. I thought she knew and didn’t care. It wasn’t until I saw the expression on her face, I ... I’m so sorry, Clay. I ... I didn’t mean to do or say anything to harm your relationship with her. I know how much she means to you.”
He swallowed hard and gave himself a mental shake. Just because
he was hurt and angry was no reason to toss an unfair weight on Amber’s slight shoulders. The fault was his. He sighed and caressed her cheek. “Knowing of that relationship didn’t help, but it’s not the cause of our present problems. It’s not your fault, Amber. I should have told her the truth.”
“Why didn’t you? You’re always so ... honest.”
“She doesn’t trust me.”
“She loves you, Clay. So don’t be too hard on her.”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now. I’m going out. We’ll talk later.”
“Where are you going?”
“To see Cami.”
Her eyes darkened and she clutched at his arm. “No, Clay! Don't do that! You'll just make things worse with Darbi when she finds out you're with Cami again.”
“Things can't get any worse between us.”
“So you're going to sleep with Cami?”
“No, I am not going to sleep with her!” He stared at her. “Do you think I slept with her?”
Although she quickly shook her head, he noted with annoyance that she averted her gaze so he couldn't see the expression in her eyes.
If everyone who knew him well, including Damien, Amber, and even Betty, had to ask if he’d slept with Cami, small wonder Darbi didn’t believe him. He swore softly and left the house, closing the door quietly behind him.
Ninety minutes later, he and Cami sat opposite each other in the booth of a small café.
“I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble, Clay. It was selfish of me to keep you from your Darbi for so long.”
He sighed. “You needed to talk.”
“I did, but I wouldn’t have done it had I known it would cause so much trouble with her. I know I asked you to sleep with me, but I wasn't thinking clearly.”
“Who have you been talking to?”
“Betty came to see me and Amber called me. They’re both worried about you. Betty told me the trouble you're in because you spent so much time with me and Amber called me a few choice names for breaking you two up.”
“What?”
Cami struggled. “Amber and I have always gotten along well, but I’ve never heard of some of the uncomplimentary names she came up with. I think it’s safe to say she really likes your Darbi.”
