by Stewart, Anna J. ; Sasson, Sophia; Carpenter, Beth; Jensen, Muriel
“You all rest, we will continue when the light breaks.” Ali announced. It was a good idea. It had gotten windier and colder and the little bit of moonlight had disappeared.
“I’ll take the first shift,” Alessa said quietly. They didn’t need any discussion to know that one of them would stand watch while the other two slept.
Luke put a hand on her good shoulder. “Rodgers and I don’t think any less of you for needing to rest. You could’ve…” His voice cracked.
Luke locked eyes with her and his expression was firm. She sighed and nodded. Her shoulder was killing her. Ali gestured for her and Amine to take the charpai. Alessa let Amine have it and took a seat on the rock floor, finding a smooth surface to lean against. Luke sat down beside her. Rodgers sat a few feet away from them, pretending to sleep. He had the first shift.
“You’re holding your arm against your chest. Does it hurt?”
She shouldn’t have been surprised that he noticed. Her shoulder was in serious pain and holding it in that position, the way the doctor had put it in the sling after her dislocation, seemed to help. Her impulse was to claim it was okay, but she didn’t want to lie to him.
“My shoulder’s bugging me. When we get out of here, it might help to put it back in the sling for a little bit, give it a rest.”
For some insane reason, she felt safe with Luke. Showing weakness was not something she did. It was a lesson she’d learned early in life, the first time she’d begged her father not to hit her mother and covered her mother’s body with her own. Since that day, there was only one other time she’d let her guard down and that hadn’t worked out so well, either.
“Why won’t you let someone take care of you?” he whispered. She only heard him through the comms system. She checked the unit on her wrist to make sure they were in private mode. She didn’t need Rodgers hearing this conversation.
“Because there’s only been one person in my life who has ever offered to take care of me and when I let him, he betrayed me.”
“Aidan Connors.”
She wasn’t surprised that he knew. There was probably more in her file than she realized. She might as well give him the story since he seemed to be able to read her like an open book.
“We were out on patrol together—I barely knew him. I made a mistake and accidentally discharged my weapon. I injured him. Not badly, but enough that he needed some serious stitches. He should have written me up, but he covered for me.”
It was the first time she’d made such a mistake and she still wasn’t sure how it had happened. She’d checked her weapon before they’d started the patrol. Regardless, it would have been a serious reprimand in her file but Aidan had told her to keep it quiet. It was the first secret they’d shared.
“I’ll take care of it, Alessa. I’ll protect you.”
“Why would you do that, Aidan?”
“Because you need a break and I consider you a friend.”
“A friend?”
“I don’t have many, but I feel like we have a connection. Maybe we can look out for each other in this strange country?”
That was how it had all started.
“So that’s why you did it,” Luke said.
She nodded. “I owed him one. So, I covered for him.” The incident.
One night, some local kids had decided to dare each other to try to get over the fence. Someone had fired a shot, killing one of the kids. It had happened in the dead of night and it wasn’t clear exactly who had pulled the trigger. The kids had come armed and the initial story was that patrols had fired warning shots but then someone else got into the mix and started shooting, too. The kids then fired back, and one of them caught a stray round.
There was no autopsy, so the bullet hadn’t been identified. There had, of course, been an internal inquiry and every soldier was asked to account for his or her whereabouts. Alessa had been alone in the female sleeping quarters. The only other enlisted female soldier on camp at the time had been out on patrol. Aidan had told her he’d been off camp without permission, trying to clear his head after a bad fight with his wife over the divorce. He’d begged her to serve as his alibi since another officer had knocked on his door and knew Aidan hadn’t been in his quarters. He was the only one unaccounted for.
“Were you ever with him that night?”
It was a question she’d never honestly answered; she’d always stuck to the story she and Aidan had agreed to. But she shook her head now.
“Let me guess—he was with a superior officer.”
Alessa looked up at him. How could he possibly know that?
“There have been rumors of him having relationships that are too close to be professional with certain superior officers,” he explained.
“This stays between us,” she said and he nodded.
She told him how Aidan had asked her to be his alibi. It had been months later when she’d finally found out that he’d been with another officer that night—one who was married and had two kids at home. She was also Aidan’s commanding officer.
“He shouldn’t have asked that of you.” Luke looked like he wanted to say more but stopped.
There was more to the story but what was she supposed to say? When Aidan asked her to be his alibi, he had sworn to protect both their careers by saying that they were discussing a recent patrol. Not that anyone bought the story that she and Aidan were just talking business. Apparently, he’d thought it would be easier for him to withstand rumors of inappropriate contact with an enlisted than with a married superior officer who was doing his evaluation. But adultery was punishable by the Uniform Code of Military Justice. If someone admitted to an affair, then they’d both be court-martialed. Yet Aidan and Alessa’s insistence that there was nothing between them had just fueled more rumors.
So much so that the officer that Aidan had been having the affair with had come to Alessa to warn her that he was bad news and to tell Alessa exactly where Aidan had been that night.
That was how she’d found out and it all made sense to her then. She’d been asked to be the scapegoat so Aidan’s promotion wouldn’t be jeopardized. Word had gotten around that she had pursued him and he’d put her in her place. She hadn’t done anything to counter those rumors because she’d been under the impression that Aidan was her friend, and perhaps they could have something special together when she got promoted and they were in different units.
Even after she found out about his betrayal, she’d covered for him and continued the lie. To this day she couldn’t say why. Partly because she had feelings for him, and perhaps out of some misguided sense of obligation that she owed him something because he’d once covered for her. She’d never told him that she knew the truth about him and the other officer. He’d continued lying to her until the day she left Kuwait.
“I made a mistake trusting him.”
Luke nodded. “He took advantage of you.” He didn’t have to say the rest. Because I told him about my father. I showed him my Achilles heel. Just like I’ve shown Luke.
“I am not the same man he is, Alessa. I’ll take care of you.” His words were so soft that for a second she thought she’d imagined them. She closed her eyes to clear the thoughts of Aidan from her mind.
Luke reached across and found her hand. I want to believe that things will be different this time. But given how badly she’d misjudged Aidan, could she even trust her feelings for Luke? She savored the feel of his thumb moving in careful strokes across her palm. The caress seemed to telegraph a message she was desperate to believe. I’ve got you.
Exhaling, she closed her eyes again. The hushed sounds of men talking, the wind howling outside and the crackle of the fire soothed her. Even if it was just for a minute, it felt nice not to be on guard, to let someone else take care of her. Her body felt weightless, like she was floating on air, and she let herself get pu
lled into the welcome darkness of sleep.
* * *
LUKE WATCHED ALESSA’S eyes flutter, then close. He saw Rodgers look toward them and retracted his hand.
“Status?” Rodgers said through the comms so only Luke would hear.
“All quiet.” Luke hesitated. “I need cover.”
Rodgers nodded.
Luke looked at Alessa, her face covered with the veil. He needed to go outside to use the sat phone. Alessa was just another soldier. If it were Boots or Dan, he wouldn’t even think twice. He was the leader; his job was to check on his team. To keep them safe. All of them. Alessa was a special woman, but was her life worth more than the others under his command? Or Ethan’s? And what if he made a decision, like he had with his mom or with Nazneen, that ended up getting her killed?
“The best thing you can do for all of us is stay focused on the mission.” It was an insolent comment from Rodgers, one that would get him reprimanded in any unit other than this one.
“Stay alert,” Luke said curtly. He motioned to the men by the fire that he had to answer the call of nature so they wouldn’t wonder why he was wandering off.
The wind bit into him as he stepped outside. In the hour or so they’d been inside the cave, the temperature had dropped considerably. He had layered two sweaters on top of his kameez and wrapped a shawl around his neck. While warm, these items did nothing to keep the wind out and he wished he could have his army-issued gear, as much as he had complained about its poor quality during his last deployment.
He walked carefully down the path they’d be taking to Londi Kotwal to get a glimpse at what lay ahead. The moon was partially hidden behind some clouds so he used his phone to throw light on the twisty path and keep from falling to his death.
A few minutes later, he found an boulder that was out of the line of sight of the cave. The satellite signal wasn’t great, but it worked. Dan, Steele and Dimples were already at the safe house and had sent him a coded message that it was okay. Boots’s tracker was still stationary. Luke checked the latest intelligence reports for the area. Lucky for them, insurgent activity was low. His phone pinged with an urgent message and his pulse quickened. It was a text from Boots.
StinkySocks. I’m safe. Watch your back.
Luke responded immediately asking for details. “StinkySocks” was Boots’s safe word to let them know that he was not sending the message under duress.
There was no response. He stared at the phone, willing it to light up with another message. The silence was not unusual. Boots could have sent the text when he had a signal and it was possible Luke had just received it now because he’d gotten into range.
He consulted his watch. Seventeen minutes had passed since he’d left Alessa. It wasn’t a long time and she wasn’t in immediate danger. His chest squeezed and he tapped his foot as he scrolled through his phone, the words swimming before his eyes. He took a breath and stared out at the darkness. He needed to go through the intelligence reports again, really read them to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. It was critical. A single line in one of hundreds of pages could mean the difference between his mission being a success or failure. Luke couldn’t let Alessa distract him. This mission was too important. Deservedly or not, the unit had been entrusted to him, and his soldiers were counting on him to get them through.
He scrolled through the reports, his mind laser focused on the words. He was halfway through a document when an item made him freeze. He clicked back to a previous report and realized what he was seeing. The analysts hadn’t connected the reports because they weren’t looking at the issue with the same lens he was. His heart raced. There was a real possibility he could find Ethan.
Standing, he scrambled back up the path. It didn’t matter what Alessa’s condition was; they needed to make their way into Pakistan now. Time to get the mission back on track.
When he returned to the cave, things were quiet. He had been gone for more than an hour. Aside from Rodgers, everyone was asleep. Ali, Reza and three villagers—were stretched out on the floor or leaning against a wall, huddled underneath threadbare shawls.
Luke met Rodgers’s eyes and the other man stood and nodded as if he sensed what was coming. A pang of guilt swept through him for keeping Rodgers in the dark about ditching Ali. Luke stepped over lifted Alessa off the ground, putting her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. She stirred, but he and Rodgers were out of the cave before she fully wakened. Rodgers walked ahead of him, shining the flashlight on his phone to light the way and clear the path for Luke. Alessa struggled against him.
“Shhhh…” he admonished into the comms. To her credit, she expressed her frustration silently, punching him lightly in the shoulder to let him know she wanted to be set down.
He waited until they’d rounded the corner and were out of eyesight of the cave before putting her on the ground. The wind shrieked around them and he knew it was unlikely anyone would hear them. Still, he kept his voice low as he spoke into the comms, talking to both Alessa and Rodgers.
“I got a message from Boots using the safe word saying he’s okay but nothing else. Dan, Steele and Dimples are across and I have new intel on our mission. We need to make it into Pakistan before daybreak.”
“What about Reza and Amine?” Alessa asked.
“They’re on their own,” he said firmly.
“Luke, we need to take them with us. I don’t know if they’ll be safe with Ali.” The pleading in her voice ripped at his soul but he couldn’t give in. There was too much at stake.
“We’ve already wasted too much time.”
“But…” Alessa protested.
“Parrino, you’re enough of a liability, I don’t need another.” His stomach hardened as he heard her take a sharp breath. He didn’t need to see her face to know he’d just stabbed her in the gut. Under normal circumstances he would’ve done everything he could to help Reza and Amine, but his priority had to be the people he was responsible for. It was time to think and act like Ethan. Alessa was a soldier in his command and despite the unorthodox way the unit operated, there was a time when orders had to be obeyed. If any of the other guys had questioned him standing on a dangerous mountain in the middle of Afghanistan, he would’ve been much harsher.
Rodgers picked up his pace and Alessa followed, keeping up. Luke put his hand on her arm. When she stopped and turned, he toggled the comms so only she could hear.
“I need you to hold on to me. I can’t risk you falling.”
“Why not? If I fall to my death, you’ll be able to proceed much faster, one less liability to worry about.”
He knew the words were said in anger but the thought of Alessa even considering that death was an option hit him so hard that his mouth soured. Had his mother thought that way? That dying was easier than facing her life?
“Just do as I say, Parrino. You just told me your shoulder’s not right. I’m responsible for your safety.” His tone and words were much harsher than he intended. What he longed to do more than anything was to take her in his arms and carry her the rest of the hike, making sure she stayed safe.
She turned and he tightened his grip on her good arm so he could catch her if she fell.
The crisp air stung at their faces but they kept going. They stopped once at an outcropping to drink water from their canteens and eat a few power bars that Alessa had stowed in the backpack she kept under her burka. The men carried locally made bags; she was the only one who could carry gear. Luke had forgotten she had that additional burden. He took the backpack from her once the break was done.
“I can carry it,” she said stiffly.
He didn’t answer her, just slung it over his shoulder and continued the trek.
They made it to the border near Londi Kotwal just before daybreak. They needed to cross over a stream in order to avoid the fenced area of the official check
point. The stream looked to be about four feet deep and would be treacherous for all of them, but Alessa in particular. She was much shorter than both men, and the burka would hamper her movement.
They put all of their sacks and the backpack into a waterproof bag, which Rodgers carried over his head. He continued to lead with Alessa in the middle and Luke keeping an eye on their backs.
The water was ice-cold as they stepped into it and Luke heard Alessa’s slight moan of pain as she got knee-deep into it. He stopped and faced her.
“It’s okay, I just hit my knee on a rock.”
He bent down, water lapping at his waist and lifted her burka. Her white salwar was red underneath. A jagged piece of wood protruded from her shin. He pulled it out and she cried involuntarily. Something exploded inside him and he didn’t stop and think or wait for permission. He lifted her and threw her over his shoulder again.
“Luke, no! I’m fine.”
“Be quiet, Alessa. I’m not taking no for an answer. You can either continue struggling and make it more difficult for me or cooperate and we’ll both get through this a little easier.”
That silenced her. He carried her across the stream, his legs protesting as various pieces of debris rammed against them. Ahead of him Rodgers was having the same problem, doing his best to dodge driftwood and small rocks. The man grunted painfully as a sharp piece of wood caught him on the hip. He yelled in pain as he pulled it out.
The river was several yards wide and the water raced past Luke’s chest now, the cold chilling his bones so deeply, he couldn’t imagine ever getting warm again. Alessa had stilled and he did his best to keep most of her body out of the water but it was getting harder and harder as they got to the middle of the river where the footing also became more precarious. He stumbled more than a few times, nearly losing his balance. Light though she was, it was hard to push his own weight and hers through the flow.
