by Stewart, Anna J. ; Sasson, Sophia; Carpenter, Beth; Jensen, Muriel
She took a sip of water. “That was around Christmastime. We didn’t hear much else for a while, just saw a few trucks and deliveries. In January, we had a big storm while I was at work. On the way home, my car got stuck in a drift right outside that bar. I was scared to go in there. I mean, Papa had been ranting about the evil they were bringing to the neighborhood, but it was that or risk freezing to death walking. So I knocked on the door.” She continued to stare off into the distance as if she’d lost herself in the story.
“What happened then?” Ursula urged.
Ruth blinked and focused on Ursula. “Roy was there, working. He had the nicest face, and once he smiled at me, I wasn’t scared at all. He limped when he walked, and I wondered what happened to him. He invited me in, said I should warm up first and later he’d dig me out of the drift. It sure felt good next to that woodstove after being out in the cold, I tell you. I sat there by the stove while he sanded the bar, polishing the wood until it was smooth as glass, and all the while he talked to me.” A smile crossed her face, and Sam could see a trace of the woman he remembered from some of the happier moments in his childhood.
Ursula smiled back. “How old were you?”
“I was seventeen, just graduated from high school a semester early. I hardly knew what to say to a man. My papa hadn’t ever let me go on a date, but Roy was easy to talk to. He told me about their plans. He’d been working on the pipeline, but was in an accident and broke his leg. It healed up shorter than the other one and he couldn’t work there anymore. So they gave him some money for the accident.” Her face hardened. “That’s when Raynott came into the picture. Wayne Raynott. He worked on the pipeline, too. He’d saved up some money, and he had this idea. The workers needed a place to drink. They could pool their money and buy a liquor license. Wayne would buy this old building, and Roy would use his money to fix it up into a bar. They’d be partners.”
She looked at Sam. “Roy was from a village. He didn’t understand about contracts or protecting himself. It never occurred to him that he should have insisted Wayne put his name on the property, too. They agreed to be equal partners and they shook on it, and that was that.” She winced. “He found out later that Wayne got that old building in a tax sale for next to nothin’, maybe a tenth of what Roy put into fixing it up, but they were bringing in lots of money by then, so he didn’t much care.”
Sam glanced over to see how Dana would react to that. She shifted in her chair, but she didn’t say anything. Chris’s expression remained neutral. Sam directed his attention back to his mother’s face, but she seemed to be waiting for something.
“Did he ever dig you out?” Ursula asked with a laugh.
“Oh, he sure did. I didn’t tell Papa about it. Sometimes after that, if I thought I could get away with it, I’d drop by when Roy was working and we’d talk. Once when I stopped by, Wayne was there. He hustled me out so fast it would have made your head spin. After that, I always looked in the window to make sure Roy was alone before I came in.
“Wayne and his wife had moved into the little house on the back of the property. They were expecting a baby, and he was spending time fixing up the place while Roy fixed up the bar, so I was able to sneak in to see Roy without him seeing me.”
“Why didn’t Wayne want you there?” Ursula asked.
Ruth twitched her shoulders. “I didn’t know at first, but Fiona told me later my papa had been by, preaching at them about the evils of drink. Wayne had seen my car and knew I was his daughter, and he didn’t want more trouble with Papa.”
“What did your mother think of all this?” Ursula asked.
“I didn’t have a mama. Papa said she got real depressed after I was born, couldn’t take the dark and the cold, so he sent her to her family in the lower forty-eight for a visit, and she just never came back.”
Sam nodded slowly. All very sad, but other than the fact that his grandfather had been a preacher who disapproved of drinking, he hadn’t heard anything he didn’t already know or suspect. She needed to get to the point. “Eventually they opened the bar, I assume.”
“Yes. Every night the parking lot was overflowing. It drove my papa crazy that all them people wanted to go drink and he couldn’t get anybody to come out to hear the Gospel. By that time, I’d turned eighteen, so sometimes I’d tell Papa I was visiting a friend and stop into the bar. I remember the first time I ever tasted a beer, I spit it back out. Roy just laughed and gave me a ginger ale.”
Sam gave a mirthless snort. Somewhere along the way, she’d developed quite an affinity for the taste of beer, and wine, and whiskey. Hard to imagine she was ever that innocent. Ruth ignored his outburst and directed her story toward Ursula.
“I met Fiona there. When it got busy, which was almost every night, she’d put the baby down to sleep in the back room and help out at the bar. She looked after me, made sure none of the men there bothered me. She was a real lady, and the men, they mostly treated her with respect. It was a good thing, too, ’cause Wayne, he was the jealous type. He tossed out more than one man who he thought was getting too familiar with his wife.”
“What was she like?” The words seemed to slip from Chris’s mouth.
Ruth glanced his way as if surprised to see him there. “Fiona? Oh, she was a beauty. Had this head full of curly red hair, like an angel. She had the face of an angel, too, kinda peaceful and sweet. Her mother was from Ireland, and Fiona talked a little bit like they do, kinda like she was singing, ya know? She loved that baby. Always called him Christopher. Said it was such a pretty name it would be a shame to shorten it. She used to carry Christopher around all day, hugging and kissing him, and she’d sing him lullabies and tell him stories just like he understood. Maybe he did, because I never saw a happier baby.”
Chris nodded, apparently satisfied with her description. Ruth didn’t seem to make the connection between baby Christopher and the man who had been introduced as Chris, but then, Chris had presumably changed a bit since he was an infant.
Ruth’s face clouded. “Although, I was playing with fire. Eventually, my papa called and found out I wasn’t at my friend’s house and went looking for me. He found me at the bar and dragged me out, shouting curses at all the sinners there. Roy tried to stop him, but Wayne and two other men held on to him. They said not to interfere between a father and a child.” Ruth wrapped her arms tight around herself.
Ursula placed a hand on her shoulder and asked gently. “What happened then?”
Ruth shuddered. “In spite of what he said about drinkers, Papa always had a bottle of whiskey hidden away in our cabin, in a box in the back of his closet. I found it once when he had me polish his shoes and I put them away. I could tell from his breath that he’d been nipping into it that night. When he got me home he preached hard at me about the evils of drink, and told me if I ever set foot in that place again, I’d wish I’d never been born. I said if whiskey was so evil, why was he drinking it? He didn’t think I knew about his secret bottle, you see. That made him so mad he said he was going to beat the devil out of me.” Ruth stared at the table in front of her. “He almost did. Almost beat the life out of me while he was at it.”
Sam’s jaw clenched. The hypocrite. Getting drunk, beating his own daughter because she had dared to defy him. His good hand curled into a fist.
Ursula scooted closer and put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Ruth.”
Ruth stole a glance at her. “Papa finished off the bottle that night and started on another one. Once he passed out, I slipped out and went to the bar. It was summer then, so I walked. Good thing Papa broke my nose and not my leg. It was after closing, but Roy was there, and so were Wayne and Fiona. Roy took one look at me, picked me up and put me into his truck. He took me to the emergency room and they patched me up. Roy wanted me to call the police, but I wouldn’t turn Papa in. Roy told the nurse to take pictures of me, and he somehow
made sure Papa got the word that if he ever came near me again, he’d be in jail.
“I don’t know how she managed it, but Fiona convinced Wayne to let me live with them so I wouldn’t have to go back to my papa’s house ever again. I offered to help out in the bar, but Wayne said I should take care of the baby at night while Fiona worked. I think he liked having her close by where he could keep an eye on her.”
Ruth picked up her water and took a deep drink. “Christopher was the sweetest baby, and every day, I got to see Roy when I cleaned the bar. Wayne didn’t approve of Roy and me. I heard him tell Roy he oughta stay away from me, that he was just asking for trouble with my papa and it’d cause trouble for the bar, but Fiona always found little errands and excuses to let me and Roy spend time together. She said what Wayne didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I stayed with them for almost a year, and it was the happiest I’d ever been in my life.”
Sam leaned forward. “What happened the night of the fire?”
Ruth sighed. “Roy and I fell in love, and one thing led to another, and of course, I got pregnant. I was kinda scared to tell Roy, but he was happy about it. He said he’d always wanted a son, and that we should get married right away. We decided it would be better to elope, so there was no chance of my papa getting wind of it and trying to stop us. Roy said not to tell anybody, but Fiona guessed about the baby, and so I confided in her. She was happy for us and promised she wouldn’t say anything to Wayne.
“So, late one night, after the bar closed and Wayne and Fiona were in bed, she waited for him to go to sleep and slipped out of their house to meet Roy and me in the bar. She said she wanted to give me a wedding present before I left. She’d sewed me a silk nightgown, white with little pink rosebuds embroidered on the neckline. It was just the prettiest thing you ever saw. I took it outside to pack in my suitcase in Roy’s truck.” Ruth stopped talking and sat motionless for a few seconds, her eyes staring sightlessly at the table.
Ursula squeezed her shoulders. “Can you tell us what happened next?”
“Wayne came in. He was raging mad. Somehow, he’d gotten it into his head that Fiona and Roy were having an affair. I came in behind him and saw him yelling at them. They were trying to explain, but he was too angry to hear what they were saying. He took a swing at Roy and knocked over one of the tables with a kerosene lantern we’d lit when we’d come in. A tablecloth caught on fire. They could have all still got out then, but Wayne wouldn’t stop trying to fight Roy and Miss Fiona wouldn’t leave them. She kept telling Wayne to stop, that he didn’t understand. I was so scared, I couldn’t move. I just stood there and watched.” She swallowed.
“Wayne hit Roy hard in the jaw and knocked him down. Fiona went running over to him, and Wayne went stumbling back. That’s about the time the flames really started spreading, and it got between Wayne and them. I think that was the first time he realized the bar was on fire. He backed up toward the door, and that’s when he noticed me. He grabbed me and pushed me out of the bar.”
Ruth stood and paced around the room, shaking her head. “The fire spread so fast. I tried to get in to Roy and Fiona, but Wayne held on to me. I screamed at him, told him Roy and me were gonna get married and have a baby and I had to save him, but Wayne wouldn’t let me go. That must have been when he realized he’d been all wrong about Fiona and Roy, ’cause he looked real upset. He said it was too late, that they were probably already dead. He pulled me into his house and told me to take care of Christopher, and he called the firemen.
“I stayed on with him while he settled everything out. He told me not to tell anybody what I’d seen. He said it was an accident, but the insurance might not pay out if they knew he was there in the bar when it happened. I needed money for the baby, so I kept my mouth shut.
“It dragged on for six months and I had the baby. A son, just like Roy wanted.” She finally looked up at Sam. “Samuel, from the Bible. Finally, the insurance company finished looking into everything and paid out on the building. Wayne said he was taking Christopher and moving back to the lower forty-eight. I asked for Roy’s half of the money. Wayne just looked at me like I was crazy. The title for the bar was in his name. The insurance was, too. I didn’t have any proof of all the money Roy put into fixing up the bar.
“I tried to convince Wayne to do the right thing, that Roy’s share should go to his son.” Her face distorted into a sneer. “He said I had no proof Sam was Roy’s baby, that he could be anybody’s brat. But he said, since I’d been good to his wife, he’d help me out, give me a little money for the baby. I told him what he could do with his crumbs. I wasn’t going to let him salve his conscience with a few handouts after he killed Roy and stole his money. Later on, I found out where he’d moved to and wrote him letters, told him to send Roy’s half of the money. A few times, he mailed back a small check. I guess he thought I’d be grateful.” She snorted. “I never kept none of his checks. Not a single one.”
Tears ran down her cheeks. “I tried, Sam. I really did. But without Roy, it was too hard. I just couldn’t make it through the day without taking a few drinks. I know I was a bad mother. I decided you’d be better off with somebody who could really take care of you. I’m sorry.”
Sam watched her for a moment. A shudder ran through his body. After everything she’d been through, all she’d suffered, it was no wonder she broke. He stood and reached for her with his good arm. His mother blinked at him for a moment before stepping into his hug, sobbing against his shoulder. He patted her back. “I had a good life with Ursula and Tommy.”
“I know. I saw your name in the paper for honor roll, and all those scholarships. An engineer. I’m so proud of you.”
Ursula stepped forward and Sam pulled her into the hug, too.
* * *
DANA WATCHED AS Sam embraced his two mothers, the one who gave him life, and the one who raised him into the fine man he’d become. She had no doubts that Ruth had been telling the truth. Dana had to face facts. The man she’d spent her life trying to please, the man she’d always held up as a role model, the man whose reputation she’d defended over and over was a cheat, a liar and, for all intents and purposes, a murderer. Yes, it may have been an accident, but Wayne Raynott was the man responsible for the death of Sam’s father. It was no accident that he cheated Ruth out of Roy’s share of the insurance money and left her to raise Roy’s son in poverty, and the offer of an occasional handout didn’t make it any less wrong.
And Dana had come to Alaska to convince Chris to forgive their father and accept the inheritance. Chris had been correct all along. It was tainted money, and neither of them had any legitimate claim to it.
Dana touched Chris’s arm. “Can we get out of here?”
Chris glanced over at the two women weeping in Sam’s arms and nodded. “Let’s go.”
Dana stared through the windshield of Chris’s pickup. The mountains behind Anchorage were as green and peaceful as ever, but she wasn’t seeing them. All she could see was a smoke-filled room and the two people trapped inside, changing the fate of two innocent baby boys.
Chris touched her hand. “You okay?”
Dana nodded. “You were right about him.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I wasn’t.”
“I know.” She gave Chris a little smile. “Good thing you took after your mother. She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She does, doesn’t she? I wish I could remember her.”
“Me, too. I’m glad you had a mother who loved you.”
Chris gave her a sharp glance. “Your mother loves you, too, as best she can.”
“Does she?”
“She tries.” Chris patted her knee. “When you were a baby, she used to pack you into a stroller and she’d take you and me to garage sales in the neighborhood.”
“Typical.”
“Yeah, but she was looking for things we’d like, to
ys and baby clothes. Then she would take us to the park and let us play in the playground. You liked playing in the sandbox, even though she had to watch you constantly to make sure you didn’t eat the sand. When you were about four, she bought you a storybook about a penguin. You loved that book. Every day at least once, you’d ask her to read it to you. She’d stop whatever she was doing, pull you into her lap and read you the story. I think it was when you went off to school that she got lonely and sort of lost control.”
“I don’t understand her. What is it about shopping that consumes all her interest?”
“She’s obsessed with things because things are the only affection she ever got, from her parents and from Wayne.”
Dana lifted her eyebrows. “You’ve got this all figured out, huh?”
“Maybe I do. She shops because it distracts her from having to face the emptiness of her life. She’s not strong like you.”
“Me? Strong? I let people walk all over me.”
Chris shook his head. “You’ve always been the glue that held the family together. Even when you were just a kid. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Dana was so confused. Was she strong? Strong enough to do the right thing, even if it was hard? She honestly didn’t know.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, Sam sank into the passenger seat of Ursula’s car, suddenly aware of his exhaustion. They had talked, caught up. Ruth—he still couldn’t think of her as Mom—insisted on hearing every detail of his work, of what he had accomplished. She drank it in like water in the desert, as though she’d been longing for this information all her life.
