Mark shrugged and opted to ignore my question. He raked me with his dark eyes instead. “You look good this morning. I like the bedhead look on you, especially when you’ve been in my bed.”
I looked away, suddenly feeling shy. Why did he insist on saying things like that to me? After more than a year of nothing but friendship, he now seemed determined to flirt with me every chance he got. I knew it couldn’t go anywhere, but damn if it didn’t feel good to pretend for a while.
Since the incident in the bakery the day before when he’d goaded me into licking icing off of his lips in the middle of the dining room, and then the blowjob that followed, we’d had no physical intimacy. I wondered if that would be it for us, especially after our conversation the night before.
I considered the facts. Mark was in the closet with no plans of coming out. I was out and looking for something serious. I sighed to myself. Nope. There was no way this would work between us. I still planned on having sex with him if he wanted me, but I was waiting for something before that happened. I supposed it would have been wise to just go ahead and get it over with since there was no hope of a serious relationship. It was just sex, after all, and I was going to have to bite the bullet and do it at some point.
Maybe we could just be friends with benefits. Hell, that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Fucking my best friend for as long as it was convenient? I could still keep my eyes open for something real, but until then I could enjoy all of the delights Mark’s body had to offer. At the moment, it seemed kind of like a win-win situation. There were much worse people to lose my virginity to than a man I cared about and found irresistibly attractive.
Plus, Mark was safe with me. I’d never tell his secret.
I shoveled a bite of eggs into my mouth, followed by a strip of bacon, and washed it all down with a steaming swig of coffee. The food may not have been the tastiest in the world, but it was nice being this way with someone. With him.
“What are you smiling about?” Mark asked, gracing me with a smile of his own.
“I was just thinking this is nice,” I admitted. “It’s hard to believe we’ve known each other for so long and have never shared moments like this. It feels… comfortable, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” he agreed. “I wouldn’t mind having more of it, to be honest. It gets lonely around here with no one to talk to.”
I chuckled. “Same. At least you have this nice place to be alone in. You know what my piece of shit apartment is like.”
“Yes, I do. I think you should move out of there. It can’t be good for your mental status. I’d stay depressed if I had to live in a place like that. No offense. I just hate to see you living like that.”
I shrugged. “I can’t afford better.”
“Bullshit,” Mark said, startling me with his candor. “I know what you make, Jason, and unless you have a ridiculous amount of debt, there’s no reason you can’t find something nicer. I could help you.”
“I don’t—” I shoved more food into my mouth to make up for my lack of words.
Mark wasn’t going to let me off that easily, though. “You don’t what?”
I set my fork down and gave up trying to hide the truth from Mark. After what I’d told him last night, it didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. If I wanted us to get to know each other, I was going to have to be honest. “I send most of my money back home. To my parents.”
Not surprisingly, Mark gaped at me. “But I thought you didn’t get along with your folks. You haven’t told me much, but I thought at least I knew that much.”
“I don’t get along with them. I mean, I’d like to, but they just don’t have much use for me since I came out my senior year of high school. My dad has been downright cruel about it, but I guess it’s hard to stop loving someone who raised you. Even after you find out they’re a grade-A asshole.”
“Tell me about it,” Mark said, and an image of Lyla Johnson stalking around his apartment like the Queen of Sheba came to mind. I guess Mark really did understand what I was talking about.
“My dad is sick. He’s got COPD pretty bad. It’s gotten to the point he has to have oxygen with him everywhere he goes. He can’t work, and Mom never worked a day in her life. She was one of those home moms, you know? Cooking and taking care of my sister and me. They can’t make it on their own.”
“That sucks, J. I had no idea.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and I tried to ignore the bulge of his bare pecs and the way his biceps looked thicker in that position.
I couldn’t help the way my body reacted to the sight of him. The way it had always reacted. Just that quickly, my parents were forgotten, and I was entranced by those strong muscles so proudly on display, and the layer of dark stubble that transformed Mark from respected doctor to bad boy overnight. It literally made my knees feel weak.
Mark noticed my attention and leaned forward with a sexy smirk. “See something you like?”
I laughed. “You’re such a cocky ass.”
He shrugged, his pecs and biceps flexing deliciously. “I’m just making an observation. I’d suggest you take your shirt off, too, but I have plans for us today.”
“You do?”
“Yep. I’m taking you to my parents’ lake house for a couple of days. I figured it would be good for us to get away for a while.”
I shook my head and followed Mark to the bedroom, where he had two duffel bags packed full of clothes and toiletries. He grabbed our toothbrushes and the toothpaste, sliding them into the coolest travel containers I’d ever seen. No Wal-Mart products for the Johnson family. They had shit the rest of us hadn’t even dreamed of yet.
“I still can’t believe you called out on Rosenfeld. Are you sure that’s a good idea? It could have repercussions, you know.”
“I know,” he said. “And I’m prepared to take my medicine. This is important to me, Jason. Being here for you. As much as we’ve been through together, I’m surprised you think I’d turn my back on you now.”
“Well, it’s not exactly turning your back on me so much as looking out for yourself.”
He frowned and threw the toothbrushes into his bag with too much force. “I’ve got plenty of people looking out for me, whether I like it or not. Rosenfeld won’t do anything to me. Even if he should, he won’t. I think you know that by now. I’m not proud of it, but that’s the way things are. I know the deck is unevenly stacked in my favor, J. I’m not stupid. It’s time I did something for someone else. Someone I care about.”
His words humbled me. Mark was compromising himself to support me through all of this. The least I could do was thank him.
“I appreciate this more than you know,” I said. I stepped up behind him and wrapped my arms around his body.
He grabbed onto my hand and laced his fingers with mine, our forearms pressed against his abdomen. I could feel his warmth even through the shirt he’d put on, and it comforted me more than I’d ever thought another person’s touch could. Just being close to him made everything seem not quite so bad.
“And thank you for caring about me,” I whispered against his back. “I feel so bad for the things I said to you. About going behind my back with Rosenfeld and kissing his ass. I know the way he treats you isn’t really your fault, and neither is the way he treats me. That’s all on him, and I want you to know I didn’t really mean any of it. If I thought for a minute you were that kind of person, I wouldn’t consider you my friend.”
“I know that,” he said, squeezing my hand. “We’re partners, remember? We had a misunderstanding, and now it’s fixed. We’re going to be okay, Jason.”
“Even if we have to talk to each other through prison glass?”
“I told you as long as we can get some conjugal visits in, it would be worth it.”
I pulled my arms from around him and slapped his fine ass. “You’re such a perv.”
He turned and pulled me back against him, this time to his front, and I could feel the evidence of his perviness digging into my hip.
I pushed back, loving the feel of that huge, hard bulge. I could even remember the taste of it, and the unique musky scent that was all Mark. Just thinking about burying my face between his legs again had my dick straining against the zipper of my jeans. I groaned and swiveled my hips against him.
He lowered his head to the side of my neck and placed a hot, wet kiss there. “As turned on as I am right now, we need to get going. It’s not a long drive, but I want to get there in time to take advantage of the day. Then, if you’re up for it, we can make out on the dock like teenagers.”
I couldn’t help but notice that Mark seemed much less eager to get in my pants, and I wondered if he’d get back to it. I’d been the one to lay down the law about intercourse, but now that he wasn’t acting like a sex-starved teenager, I kind of missed it. I wanted him to do it again, to show me how much he wanted my ass, but I couldn’t just come right out and say it. Plus, that would have just been more of my mixed signals, and Mark didn’t deserve that.
I thought of the night I’d left him hanging at the New Year’s party, and I found that I was ashamed of myself. I’d acted like a jerk. Mark wasn’t like Tanner Fox. Not anymore, at least. Of that, I was pretty darn certain. I’d just let my baggage get in the way, and Mark had paid the price.
He may not have been ready for a relationship, and he might never be, but he wasn’t a prick. I needed to figure out exactly what I could handle in our relationship, and we needed to discuss it. But not today. Today was for relaxing.
The lake house was gorgeous. No surprise there, since it belonged to the Johnson family. I just hadn’t expected it to be quite so large. It was easily four-thousand square feet, with wrap-around porches on both floors that spanned all four sides of the white monstrosity. My eyes stretched to twice their size when I got my first glimpse of it, and I don’t think they went back to normal until after Mark had given me the grand tour of the house and property, and I had a couple of beers in me.
We sat on the porch on the lower level, sipping from our bottles of Heineken and rocking in the enormous white rocking chairs. At one point, we even had a rocking contest to see who could rock the hardest without tipping over. We were teenagers again, laughing and joking while the sun moved from directly overhead to rest right above the lake. It was nearing sunset when Mark suggested we walk down to the dock.
“This was always my favorite place,” he said as we dangled our feet over the water and watched the sun turn into a huge orange ball of flame near the horizon. “It’s like time doesn’t exist out here.”
“Yeah,” I breathed, knowing exactly what he meant. The thought of going back to town and to work, if I ever got the chance to do that, sent a low hum of anxiety through my entire body. But then I looked at the sun and the water, and at Mark swinging his feet like he didn’t have a care in the world, and I felt at peace again. We were here now, and that’s all that mattered.
I stared for a moment at Mark’s profile, lit from the front by the last rays of the sun. He looked more content than I’d ever seen him. After a while, he seemed to sense my eyes on him, and he scooted a fraction toward me and took my hand in his.
“You like it?” he asked quietly.
“I love it,” I admitted. “You were right. Getting away from civilization was just the thing to take my mind off of everything. I think this place works better than Xanax for anxiety.”
Mark chuckled. “Wonder if it makes you as horny as Xanax. That first night you took it, I thought I was going to have to fight you off of me.”
I knew he was teasing. He always seemed glad to have my attention, especially when I was complimenting that glorious beast between his legs.
“Stop thinking about my dick,” he teased with a broad grin.
“I’m not thinking about your dick, Mr. Cocky.”
He gave me a look that said he didn’t believe that for a minute. “I know that look. You were thinking about it, weren’t you? You can tell me.”
“Stop fucking with me, Mark.”
He let out a great bellow of a laugh that echoed across the lake. “But you’re so easy to tease. I want to make you blush at least ten times a day.”
As if on cue, heat rose to my face. “Why would you want to make me blush?”
“Because it’s cute. And because it lets me know I’m affecting you as much as you affect me.”
I scoffed. Even though I’d seen plenty of evidence to the contrary, it was hard to believe that I could actually have an effect on Mark. I’d gone so long thinking he was straight and completely oblivious to me as a man, it just didn’t register sometimes. And yet here he was holding my hands like we were—
No. I couldn’t think about words like boyfriend. We were friends with benefits, and who knew how long those benefits would even last. He’d probably get bored with me soon enough. Probably after he got inside me a time or two. Sleeping with me was a challenge for him, and once he’d conquered me, he’d be on to someone else. Someone who didn’t want more than he could give.
But if that was the goal, why was he sitting here content to hold my hand? Why wasn’t he pushing for more? He had me out in the boondocks all alone, and he hadn’t even made a move to kiss me. Was this all part of his game to seduce me? Tease me with the boyfriend experience until I was vibrating so hard with need I couldn’t resist?
“Where the hell did you go?” Mark asked, his voice gruff from the cold that was moving steadily in as it got darker.
“Just thinking,” I said. “About how nice it is out here.”
“Actually, I was just thinking it’s getting cold as fuck. We need to go in and sit by the fire before we freeze to death.”
He got to his feet without letting go of my hand and led me back up the dock and inside the house. The fire Mark had built earlier was roaring now, and the place was nice and cozy. While he used the poker to punch up the fire in the gargantuan stone fireplace, I excused myself to go let Bill out of the room we’d shut him up in. We’d been worried he would get outside and we’d never see him again. When I pulled the door open, he attacked my leg with hard nudges, purring all the while.
We came back into the living room just in time to see Mark spreading a fluffy white blanket over the rug in front of the fire. “Hang on just a minute,” he said. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with two glasses of red wine and a fresh fish treat for Bill.
“How did I never know?” I asked.
He handed Bill his treat and settled next to me on the blanket, his brows knitting together in question as he held out one of the glasses to me. “How did you never know what?”
“That you were so thoughtful.” I shook my head and took a sip of the wine. “I mean, I could picture you being chivalrous, of course. Holding car doors for the ladies, taking them out to fancy restaurants, being friendly to people. But it’s just us here, and you— Well, you’re just so sweet to Bill.” I averted my eyes for a moment. “And to me.”
It was Mark’s turn to blush, as if he weren’t used to receiving genuine compliments. He’d gotten plenty of praise for his work and his social acumen. His looks. His money. But I got the feeling people didn’t often comment on his generosity or his kind heart. Hell, I hadn’t ever done it before, either. Maybe he just didn’t show this side of himself very often.
Or to many people. It made me feel special.
“It’s all part of my plan to seduce you,” he said with a wink.
I laughed. “You know, I could almost believe that if you hadn’t said it. No way you’re going to tell me your dastardly plan.”
“You never know. I could be using reverse psychology on you.”
“Or maybe you’re just a great guy. Really, Mark, I can’t thank you enough for this.”
He looked genuinely embarrassed for a moment, but then he was taking my wine glass out of my hand and placing it beside his on the stone hearth. “I warned you,” he said. “This is all part of my plan, and I’m not letting you get out of here without at least kissing you senseless
.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Is that right?”
He nodded and closed the distance between us, crawling on his knees until he was right up in my face with his lips on mine. We shared the taste of wine on our tongues, entwining them together in a dance as old as humanity itself. Mark was a very skilled kisser, and I was soon lost in his embrace, dizzy from the sensations of his mouth working mine.
He lowered me onto my back and moved up between my legs, wedging his thigh firmly against my dick and balls and grinding roughly against them. I squirmed and moaned beneath him, thinking this was it.
This is the night he takes me. He’s going to make me his forever, whether he wants to or not.
17
Mark
God, Jason felt exquisite under me. He was on fire, writhing on my thigh like some wild and needy animal. I remembered the way we had rutted together that first time on my bed, and a shot of electricity went through me. I wanted him so badly it hurt. Ever since that blowjob in my car, I’d been careful not to get too sexual with him. Not that I hadn’t wanted to. Every time I looked at him, I got hard. But I was trying to be a good boy. To be the kind of man he wanted me to be. And to not spook him.
His emotions were so fragile right now, especially after all of the secrets he’d shared with me the night before. It would have been selfish of me to take advantage of him when he was so raw and vulnerable, and I didn’t want to be selfish anymore. I really, really wanted to be thoughtful like he’d accused me of being only moments before. And more than that, I wanted to be brave. That was going to be the hard part.
But now we were here in my safe place, and it seemed to be having the same kind of effect on him that it did on me. The darkness was gone from his eyes, and they were back to that sparkling Caribbean blue I loved so much.
Suddenly, we were ripping each other’s clothes off so feverishly I wasn’t sure who was removing which article of clothing from whom. And then, before I’d even realized we were done, Jason was spread out naked on the blanket of white beneath me, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. How had I managed to get him at my mercy without even trying? I wasn’t ready to take him yet. He’d told me I had to earn the pleasure, and I knew I hadn’t done that. Not by a long shot. Yet here he was, offering himself up to me like a virgin on an altar, ready to let me plunge my cock into the heat of his sweet body.
Dr. Perfect: A Contemporary Romance Bundle Page 17
