by Daphne Clair
She never thought of lying to him. If she was working she would say so, and Shard would say, 'Go to bed.'
Sometimes she protested, but her concentration was broken anyway, and after crossly telling him to mind his own business and she would go to bed when it suited her, she would put the phone down on his laughter and, an exasperated smile on her own lips, do as he said.
She never told her parents that she was seeing Shard, but of course they were seen together and someone relayed the news to Katherine.
'I didn't know you were friendly with Shard Cortland,' she commented to Elise austerely next time she saw her daughter.
'He's been kind to me,' Elise told her defensively.
Katherine's eyebrows rose delicately, in evident disbelief. 'I expect he has a motive,' she said. 'Don't let him take advantage of your situation, dear, will you?'
Stirred faintly to annoyance, Elise asked, 'In what way?'
'Well, some men seem to think a young widow—or divorcee—is fair game. You are in a vulnerable position, you know. It's barely four months since Peter died, and you don't want to lay yourself open to gossip.'
'Have your friends been gossiping?'
'Elise! Of course not. One or two mentioned that you've been seen about with Shard, that's all. They were concerned about you.'
'I'm sure,' Elise said resignedly. 'I suppose it's no use telling them we're friends, and nothing more.'
Katherine looked faintly sardonic. 'Just good friends, as the saying goes? My dear, don't be naive!'
Elise smiled wryly. 'No, I'm sure that's the quickest way to convince them there's no smoke without fire. But in fact it's quite true.'
'Yes, well—if you take my advice you'll keep it that way. It's far too soon to be thinking of involving yourself with another man—yet, anyway.'
Quietly Elise said, 'I'm aware of that. Mother. I have no intention of getting involved with anyone.'
But the next time she went out with Shard, instead of seeing her to her door and bidding her a quick goodnight, he gently pushed her inside with a hand at her waist, and turned her to face him in the darkness, his fingers moulding the bones of her shoulders.
Her head lifted involuntarily and before she could protest, his mouth closed over hers.
Elise went rigid, and after a few moments Shard lifted his head, his hands sliding down her arms and back again to her shoulders, almost as though her lack of response had nonplussed him.
He didn't attempt to kiss her again, but when she tried to move away his fingers tightened and held her.
In a brittle voice she said, 'I don't want that. Shard. I'm sorry.'
'Are you?' he questioned grimly. 'I wonder.'
'What do you mean?'
He shrugged and let her go. 'Perhaps fighting me has become a habit with you.'
That's not true! I don't want to fight you. I don't want to make love to you, either. Can't we be friends?'
'I want more than that, Elise.'
'Shard, it's too soon!'
'I'm not going to wait the regulation twelve months, Elise.'
Her head went up. 'You take a lot for granted!'
'What do you want, a proposal on my knees?' he asked roughly.
'Perhaps I don't want to get married again!' she cried. 'Had you thought of that?'
Jeeringly he said, 'Why, did life with Peter put you off the married state?'
Her hand swung back and flew up to connect with his lean, hard cheek, and she felt the sharp sting against her palm.
In the ensuing silence she sensed the iron control that he was exerting over his anger. Instinctively she stepped back, clenching her fingers over the stinging of her palm.
Then Shard swung on his heel and left without a word, closing the door behind him with a decisive snap.
She missed him when she didn't hear from him over the next few days, and wondered if he expected her to contact him and apologise. He had given her a telephone number, but she had never used it.
She had tea with her parents, and a man she had known for years and whose divorce had just become final asked her to take pity on him and join him for a film and supper the following evening. Simply to show herself that she had no need to stay home thinking of Shard, she accepted, and when Shard rang her the following day she coolly told him she couldn't accept his invitation because she had another date. She could detect no sign of disappointment in his voice as he asked, 'What about Saturday?'
'My parents are having a party,' she told him. 'I've told them I'll come.'
This time there Was the slightest pause. Then he said, 'Okay, have a good time.'
The evening with the old friend was rather flat. Elise spent most of their hour over supper listening to the story of his divorce and the events leading up to it, and the film had been a forgettable one.
For her parents' party she dressed carefully but without enthusiasm, dabbed perfume on as a finishing touch, and even arranged her hair in a new style to do credit to her people. The guests would be mainly business acquaintances, she gathered, and she knew that for these affairs her mother always took great pains to make a good impression. She expected the party would be a fairly small and quiet affair, not really gay. Her mother felt that she could now with decorum be expected to attend such gatherings, provided nobody rushed things.
What she had hot expected was to find Shard there.
Her mother, doing introductions said, smilingly, 'And of course you know Shard, darling ‑' And Elise thought that beneath the casual manner she watched them with sharp interest.
Shard nodded, unsmiling, but there was a hint of mockery in the cold grey of his eyes. Elise smiled politely at him and murmured, 'Of course.' She hoped her face looked equally cool and polite, and tried to keep it that way.
She moved on to speak to someone else, seething inside with anger at her mother, knowing there was nothing she could say. To make an issue of the lack of warning would only confirm whatever suspicions Kate already had that theirs was no casual friendship, and she had a deep instinctive need to keep their relationship, such as it was, with Shard, private. Especially she wanted to keep it guarded from her mother's deadly interest.
But she did say casually, later, while she helped her mother pour coffee, 'I thought you disliked Shard.'
'My dear, in the interests of your father's business, I'm compelled to entertain a number of people I dislike.'
'But Shard isn't one of Father's contacts ‑'
'On the contrary, he seems to be quite an important one, these days. Cortland Construction is a very big firm, after all.'
'What? You mean Shard is—he's that Cortland?'
'But surely you knew? I thought you two were quite friendly?'
'No, I had no idea. I suppose I should have. I knew that there was an Australian connection, and the firm was expanding in New Zealand, but I thought it was an old-established company over the Tasman. I never dreamed of connecting it with Shard. Why, how could he have built it up in only a few years? They're getting enormous contracts!'
Tartly Katherine said, 'With your grandfather's money. Oh, I admit he seems to have paid half of it back, and the rest will follow, I daresay, as your father keeps telling me. And apparently he saved a remarkable amount himself by working, as your father says, like a dog for ten years and putting every penny he could spare into investment accounts. He bought himself into a partnership in Australia and then bought out the other partner, talked himself into some lucrative contracts, and then opened a branch here in New Zealand. Now he has one in Wellington and has just begun in Auckland. Your father, in fact, is positively dazzled by the man. He says he showed a single-minded drive for success, and Howard admires that quite ridiculously.'
Then he didn't cheat Granddad out of his money,' Elise said slowly, and with caution; a weight seemed to be slowly lifting from her heart.
'Well, I still think the old man was extremely foolish to trust him,' Katherine said grudgingly. Though it's turned out for the best. Of course, your gr
andfather likes to congratulate himself that he still retains his old business acumen. Personally, I think that luck came into it a great deal.'
Perhaps it had, to some extent, Elise thought, but Shard's determination had been the main factor, she had no doubt.
Her mother was saying, 'Surely he told you?'
'Perhaps he thought I knew,' said Elise. 'We haven't talked much about business matters.'
Her mother looked up sharply. 'Have you been seeing very much of him?'
Carefully Elise said, 'Not lately.'
That's as well. After all, you're quite recently widowed, and as I warned you before, you should be careful not to encourage any speculation. Perhaps in a few months—then it might be acceptable.'
Surprised, Elise looked up from putting spoons out on the saucers. 'What might be acceptable?' she asked.
'Well, taking an interest in a man,' her mother explained. 'Of course, it's much too soon to be thinking of such things yet. But Shard made it blatantly obvious that he was attracted to you that Christmas that he stayed with us. Of course, he's older now and less inclined to such infatuations, I suppose, but he has been taking some interest in you, I gather?'
Elise did not reply, and her mother went on, 'After all, one couldn't accuse him now of being after your father's money, he has plenty of his own. I know Peter left you well provided for, as one would expect, but with inflation being what it is these days, a good second marriage—eventually—might be the wisest thing for you.'
To Shard?' Elise queried unbelievingly.
Her mother looked up from briskly stirring a bowl of cream and said, 'I can't say I've ever liked him, but I must be fair. It seems I have misjudged him in some directions, and now he's ‑ After all, money does smooth the rough edges, and there'll be plenty of other girls who realise that Shard Cortland is quite a catch, these days. He isn't a rather uncouth boy with no prospects now.'
Elise looked stunned. Never had her mother spoken so frankly to her before.
Colouring a little, Katherine went on defensively, 'It may seem a little insensitive to you, speaking of this so soon after Peter's death, my dear, but I'm your mother, and looking to your future welfare. I don't imagine I shall ever be fond of Shard as I was of dear Peter, but you're not a young girl any more—though certainly young enough to marry again, and marry well. It would be foolish, of course, to expect the romance of a first marriage in a second one, one must be sensible about these things. There are very few men of the right age that one might consider suitable who are not married or at best divorced.'
'Are you advising me to marry Shard?'
'I'm simply advising you not to do anything in haste— it would be in very bad taste to marry anyone in the near future. But it would be wise to stay friendly with Shard, and in time—well, who knows? Certainly there can be no harm in giving him a little mild encouragement while you get over things. Provided you don't do anything foolish, of course.'
'Like what?' Elise asked, still a little floored by all this.
'You're not a child, Elise,' her mother said impatiently. 'And neither is Shard. Like most men—I suspect, more than most—he isn't above going all out for whatever he can get with the least inconvenience to himself. He's over thirty now and hasn't married. Just make sure that he gives you a ring before you commit yourself.'
Elise didn't know what to say, but she felt a stinging warmth in her cheeks, as she turned her attention to distributing spoons on to saucers. She shouldn't, she supposed, be shocked by the candidness of her mother's speech, but she was. She had never realised before just how much money and social prestige meant to Katherine, although it had been the background to her entire life. For the first time she wondered how much her mother had influenced her own choice when she had married Peter.
When she handed Shard his cup, he looked at her keenly and asked, 'Is something wrong?'
Elise shook her head, surprised that her inner disturbance showed. As she made to move away, he caught her wrist in a warm grasp. 'Shall I take you home?' he asked softly.
She shook her head. 'I have my own car.'
'I'll ring you tomorrow.'
She remembered the' lifting of her heart when she had learnt that he was repaying her grandfather's money, and realised that after all, there was no reason not to trust him. She lifted her head and smiled at him, almost gaily. 'Yes,' she said.
He released her and she moved away.
She saw her mother talking animatedly to him, later in the evening, and didn't miss the sardonic quality in his smile as he politely listened. But when he looked up and saw her watching from across the room, the smile changed, and she drew a quick little breath as the grey eyes seemed, to kindle into warmth.
CHAPTER SIX
His voice came across the phone as vibrant as the man himself, and Elise felt her fingers tighten on the receiver as she spoke to him.
'See me tonight,' he said.
'Yes,' she answered. Then, consciously cool to hide the effect he had on her, she said, 'I'll give you a meal. It's time I proved I can cook—and I owe you several.'
His voice, too, sounded chilly as he replied. 'You owe me nothing. What time?'
She told him, and rang off, feeling as though she had burned some boats or something equally drastic. Which was ridiculous, she told herself. She had simply invited a man around for a meal in return for—she couldn't quite bring herself to use the word kindness. Kindness and Shard didn't go together, and yet surely there was no other way to describe his care of her lately? Still, she had an intuitive feeling that a phase was coming to an end.
When she opened the door to him there was nothing in his manner to confirm it. His eyes took in without haste the swept-up hairdo with the tiny tendrils carefully allowed to escape, the low-cut dress in soft voile, the single chunky metal bracelet that was her only ornament apart from Peter's rings. He didn't speak, and she simply stepped back, a smile of greeting on her lips, and let him in. She realised that Shard seldom bothered to say hello, as though the everyday words of greeting were superfluous between them.
He poured drinks for them while she piled vegetables into plates and placed them in the warming drawer of the stove, and added finishing touches to a lamb casserole in wine.
She came back into the small lounge and he banded her a glass and moved over to a window, standing with his back to it and watching her as she took a chair and sipped at her drink.
He said, 'You're different.'
'Am I?' she asked. 'In what way?'
He didn't answer at once, his eyes regarding her with cool, almost wary speculation. Then a slight, enigmatic smile touched his mouth and he said. 'I'm not sure. Perhaps I will be—later.'
Elise said, half-mockingly, 'You don't change, Shard.'
'Would you like me to?'
She hesitated. 'That's a leading question. I have no right to try and change you.'
Levelly, he said, 'You have any rights you choose to claim.'
Her heart seemed to lurch, and she couldn't meet his eyes, still less answer him.
Shard moved, and her nerves tensed, but he only came to sit in the chair opposite. The silence lengthened, and she had the impression that the tension it engendered was deliberate, on his part. That he had stopped trying to protect her from the currents that always ran between them.
She finished her drink and went back to the kitchen, glad to have the excuse to busy herself with serving up the dinner.
They talked little over the meal, but when she had cleared away the plates after the sweet kiwi-fruit dessert, he took his coffee cup from her and said, 'You can cook. The meal was delicious.'
Elise inclined her head and said demurely, 'Thank you.'
He laughed softly, and she looked up, a smile on her lips, her eyes soft, and shining.
Shard put out a hand and touched a wisp of fair hair that lay gently on her cheek, and she felt his fingers like a lick of fire. She caught her lower lip briefly in her teeth and said, to dispel the moment, 'I finished
my commission today.'
'The drawings for the book?'
'Yes.'
'I'd like to see them.'
She hesitated for a moment, suddenly afraid. Then she said, 'All right. I'll get them later.'
But when she went into the little spare room to fetch them, he followed, and looked at them there, as she took them out of the folio and spread them on the table where she worked.
He didn't touch any of them, but she saw him looking at them, one by one. He said, 'You've improved. They're very good.'
Then he looked up and said, 'This is Peter's child.'
'And mine,' she said. 'We lost him before he was born.'
The sudden pain that touched his eyes shocked her, even as she knew that her own eyes had filled with unexpected tears, and she felt Shard's arms about her, pulling her close.
She didn't cry any more, standing in the circle of his arms. She heard him say, 'I didn't know.'
'It was five years ago,' she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. 'We tried again, but they said it might be impossible for me.'
Shard kept holding her without moving for a while longer. Then he lifted her face to his and kissed her, his mouth possessive, but more tender than she had ever known it.
They returned to the lounge, Shard's arm about her, and sat on the sofa, her head resting against his shoulder.
Elise had put on a record some time ago, and it played through and then began again. She couldn't be bothered getting up to turn it over. She felt very happy, and when Shard said her name softly, she turned a smiling face up to him. He didn't kiss her again, but seemed to be trying to read her face, his eyes enigmatic.
She whispered, 'Shard?'
He said, his voice deep and steady, 'You're very amenable tonight.'
His finger traced the outline of her lips, and on impulse she kissed it. For a moment it stilled, and then moved again against her mouth, gently caressing. She put up a hand, catching his fingers and nuzzling her cheek against his palm.
