[29]
I realized Id been aware of the dimensions of the box for a long time without seeing or feeling it. It was a bit too short to stretch out in and a bit too squat for me to sit up. Which was fine with me. I was thrilled just to curl.
Itchy. Eye itchy. Scratchme.
Cant. Hands tied somewhere.
Thirsty.
I tried to swallow and couldnt close my mouth. Finally I managed anyway but it was a dry swallow that just made it worse. Ouch. Shit.
I had a notion that I was in a fetal position on my left side, or, no, rather, on my right side. One arm was missing. Or, hmm, probably just pinned under me. Numb from the shoulder down. Right foot gone too. Or left. Easier to tell if I could see them. At any rate, pretty much the earthward half of my body was numb. And the upper side was a grab bag of aches and strains. Whatever.
Itchy. I noticed I was squirming, trying to scrunch my left eye onto the wall of the box to scratch it. Got it. Ah. Bliss.
Huh.
I thought Id stopped wriggling, but there was a residue of motion. No, it wasnt me. The box is moving. Back and forth. No, its swinging. Im hanging up somewhere. How high? I ground my cheek into the wall again. It was nubbly and yielding. Its not a wood box, its wicker. Im in a basket. Basketcase.
Well, that makes sense. No edges to slice yourself on, no hard floor to crush your head against, basically a padded cell. They want to keep me alive. Roughly. No wonder I cant close my mouth. Theres a wad of stuff in there so I cant bite my tongue off and bleed out. I uncurled a little and then rolled a little, pressing on the walls of the box. It was about one arm wide and two arms longand somewhere in my jumbled head I noticed that I was already thinking in Maya arm lengths, that is, units of about twenty-six inches, and not in feet or metersand, I thought I could sense, about one and a half arms high … that is, not high enough to stand up, not long enough to stretch out, not … oh hell oh hell. A chord of claustrophobia swelled up and I figured I was about to lose it but then maybe just because my new body was still so exhausted I managed to think, Chill, chill, cálmate, its all right, Jed, youre alive, and it settled. Stay frosty. Fros-T-Freez. If you panic youre really done for.
Thirsty.
Maybe it was something about the air currents or the stored heat radiating off stone beneath me or the way a puppy was yipping somewhere behind stone walls, but I was pretty sure I was in a small enclosed courtyard and that it was late afternoon. I listened. There was a kind of creaking sound somewhere, and turkeys making that burbling-brook noise, and another dog, not the puppy, barking a long way away, and then, beyond all that, there was a distant but pervasive chorus of innumerable clicks, the nostalgic tearjerking sound of women making waahob, tortillas, tossing the corn dough from hand to hand. It was the same exact sound, it was going to stay unchanged until Jeds childhood, I mean my childhood. And then even beyond thatdamn, I thought, these new ears really rockI thought I could hear echoes of game calls and the mothers-heartbeat thunk of a rubber ball.
Whoa.
Id gotten a visual flash of a game, that is, a hipball game, and it wasnt mine. That is, it was Chacals. There was a forest and a strip of cleared dirt with a pile of logs and dirt on either sidethe barest possible excuse for a hipball courtand two naked boys facing me, with a vague bunch of people behind them, standing around the end zone. One of the kids faces was a sheet of blood, and I thought for a second that I was being punished. But then I heard or remembered something like cheering, and I understood that knocking the ball into his face had been a winning move, a big achievement. But that was all I saw of it before it somehow blended into Chacals last so-called game, the one that had been an entirely staged event, a one-on-one against 9 Fanged Hummingbird, where the ahau played 7 Hunahpu, the hero twin, and Chacal impersonated the Ninth Lord of the Night. That is, Chacal was the bad guy. It was a night game, lit by hundreds of overhead torches. 9 Fanged Hummingbird had just stood there at the other end of the court, fully masked and in stiltlike platform sandals but still obviously an achondroplastic dwarf. Stagehandsor maybe invisibles would be a better term, like in Noh theatermaneuvered a hollow paper ball with two thin cords attached to long poles, swinging it back and forth like a bird in a marionette show. Of course, it hadnt fooled the audience, but it wasnt meant to. As far as the spiritual effect was concerned, going through the motions was as good as the real thing.
Two of the faces I was pretty sure were real were people I guessed were my teammates in the ball game, a smooth-faced guy whose revealed name, I thought, was Hun Xocthat is, 1 Sharkand a stockier, flatter-faced kid named 2 Hand. But it was hard to find my way around, flipping through his memories, it was like
Well, theres the same question again. What does it really feel like to be part of someone else? Like waking up in total darkness and finding youre in a large, unfamiliar house, crowded with furniture and objets, and having to work out how to get out? Id thought that I was pretty hard-core Maya, deep down, but now I knew Id been just another couthless clueless Yankee yuppie yob, that from this body, from this mind, the universe was truly another species. For instance, I still knew that the earthor as wed say, mih kab, zero earth, or the zeroth shell of creationwas round, that is, globe-shaped. But if I didnt think about it I felt a different world around me, neither spherical nor flat, but more like a stack of tortillas. Each layer, or shell, was inside the other, kind of, maybe like skins in a squashed onion, but they were also alive.
Choke.
Come on. Breathe. Thing in mouth. A sponge, maybe. Open. Okay. Shut. Cant. Ouch. Acid reflux sores. I tried to pull a big slug of air into my cracked throat and my pain graph hit another peak, but I ignored it in a way I couldnt have as Jed. Chacals bodys pretty tough, no question. Not much good if I cant move, though. Thirsty. I have really just got to swallow. Get tongue involved. Where is it? Cut out? No, wait. Numb. Still there. Good tongue. Up, boy.
I got my tongue peeled off my palate, and I got my teeth together, although they didnt quite fit right, and I swallowed but it was all just dry, it hurt worse, ouch, ouch, wait. Wait a while. I pulled his tonguemy tongue, I thought, pronoun troubleback into my cottony maw and twisted it, digging for liquid, and finally got some and started working around the sponge, painting the unfamiliar bumps and fissures of my mouth with thick sour goo. Hey, wheres my flap? Oh, right. Gone. Hmm. Something wrong with my teeth. Not wrong. Just different. The two upper central incisors had been filed to sort of squat L shapes. That is, about one-third of each tooth, on the medial side, projected normally, but then to the left and right of those sort of spurs they were each missing a chunk. I hadnt realized how much I used to enjoy sliding my tongue around my old teeth. I was a total stranger to these pointy little suckers. Id cut myself on them if I wasnt careful … whoa, whats this … hmm. There was a gap on the female side where it seemed like two molars were missing. Oh, right. I lost those in the One Cane game at 39 Courts, also against 2 Sidewinder, when I scored four and killed
No, I thought, not I. Chacal. That was Chacals hipball career. Watch it.
Okay. Get those eyes open.
Ouch. Cant.
Going to sneeze.
La gran puta, I thought, what a Schande this turned out to be. Why did it have to be me back here? I shouldve been the one who stuck around in aught-twelve. The other me is probably in a sleeping bag with Marena right now. I mean, so to speak right now. Bastard. He doesnt know the half. Wait a second, now Im getting jealous of myself. Stop obsessing. Keep it together.
Okay. Open eyes.
Nothing.
Well, this is great. A six-hundred-million-plus-dollar project and I end up in a basket like moldy pears from Harry & David. How long have I been in here? Days? Thirsty. What about the volcano? Could I have missed it? No, ni modos. I havent been here three days. No way. Anyway, they said it wouldnt be possible to miss it, that even this
far away it would still bruise your eardrums. And supposedly a day or two afterward, when the ash clouds got high enough, youd be able to see the glow at night from anywhere in Mesoamerica.
Hmm. Maybe theyre waiting to see if it happens like you said. Maybe you have a chance. And at least that Chacal characters gone. Or rather, I dont still half-think Im Chacal. Thats all it is, right? The self is something you think you are, not something real
Ow. Itchy eyes a little too real, though. Scratchem. Okay. I flexed my
CRACK.
Ouch.
I got the fingers of one hand going. Each one left a little trail of crackles and pops of welcomely focusing pain. Ow. Okay, get that other arm out from under there. Wait, where
Shit, amputated! Panic.
I felt for what I thought was the stump with my other hand. Nothing. Shit. Wait. Youre moving something, its just the wrong hand in the wrong direction. Weird.
Huh. Maybe Ive been reversed. I must be right-handed now.
Hmm.
Yeah, thats it. Okay. I worked on getting my working hand rubbing the numb one, but it kept slipping off. It was like trying to move a cursor around when the screens unexpectedly shifted from landscape to portrait mode.
Get hands up to eyes. Ow. Hell. Do it again. Ow. My hands kept stopping before they got there. Oh, I get it. Theyd been tied together in front of me and then tied by a longer rope to the roof of the box. Shit. I tried to pull myself up toward them but couldnt do that either. Maybe my chest was strapped to the bottom. Yeah, thats it. Damn. Thirsty.
I took another snort of air. For some reason that sort of icky sweet smell brought up a picture of Desert Dog. He had those big raw spots on his forearms. Yeah. It was ooze or pus or something, from an open sore, the scent of a skin disease. Damn. Probably on me. Hell.
Wait.
Listen.
The creaking that I think I mentioned had gotten louder, to the point where it definitely wasnt creaking. It was more like a sort of mewing. A cat, maybe? No, its human. Its moaning.
My eyes tried to open and then gave up. A little kid? No, its not, its … oh. Its an old man.
The moaning finally pulled up a pic out of Chacals hard drive: It was a line of eight or ten or so of the same big wicker boxes, hanging from a sort of bare arbor in front of a wall. The image even had very specific colors: That is, the two baskets on the far right were fresh and green, but the ones to the left of them were sun-bleached to gray. Maybe it was this same courtyard, where I was now, or maybe it was a place like it. But either way, I knew through Chacal that each of the baskets held a prisoner, and that I was in the one on the far right, and that the fluttering was the other captives breathing, and the oozy smell was their rotting skin slowly falling off their flesh, and the moaning was from one of the oldest baskets, and that the prisoner in it had been there for years, and years, and years.
Youll be in this box for a long, long time. Maybe a whole katun if youre unlucky, that is, twenty years, until the same deathday rolls around again. Theyll get more pain out of you that way. More pain, more rain, more grain.
Hell. This is it. This is everything. This is the last thing Ill see. This is the last place Ill be. Ever. Ever. Forever. Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Deep panic isnt like a dream or a blackout, but its still hard to remember. I suppose I thrashed around for a while, and probably screamed, or maybe one of the other prisoners screamed, and then I was trying to see again, got to get my eyes open, come on, have to see. Focus on eyes.
I flexed and strained. Nothing. There were orbital muscles there I didnt even know about. I flexed them again and again. Still no go. At some point I realizedeither from the pain, or from the strength of the bond, or maybe because Chacal had seen it done to other peoplethat my eyelids had been sewn shut. Oh, Jes
Wait.
Someone out there. Close by. Shouldnt have jiggled this thing. What are they doing? Watching me? Thirsty. No, dont ask. Dont let
Off. I fell up. Something me hit. Ouch. Too bright, even just through eyelids. The eruption? Wait
[30]
The side of the box slapped me and flipped me over. Someone held me, but not with hands. Maybe they were mittens. I felt cords being cut, but I didnt have a chance to pick up much detail. They were too professional about it, like policemen who can have you searched, cuffed, and into the cage seat in less than ten seconds. The box coughed me out into sunlight that felt like hot oil on my skin. The air tasted weirdly sweet. I was lying prone on the flagstones. Fresh blood crackled into my cold leg and smoldered around the bedsores on my back. A pair of ducks quacked overhead. This is definitely not the eruption, I thought. My hand, or rather, that is, my right hand, found a little elongated spur on the powdery stone and I got it under my forefinger, sort of holding on to it mentally, the way I guess you do sometimes when things arent going right. You fasten on a random object as though it can help prove you exist. Or I do, anyway.
Id been right that it was late afternoon, and without seeing the sun, just by feeling the low angle of the light on my side, Chacals sense of direction oriented itself. I was facing south. But it was a different sort of south from Jeds south. That is, the whole sense of orientation was different. Like almost everybody in the twenty-first century Id tended to think of north as up and south as down, and east as right and west as left, just because thats the way they have it on most maps. But for Chacal southeast was up and northwest was down. And the whole place, that is, the world, seemed to be on a sort of incline, tilting down to the west, with
A throaty tenor voice half sang and half snarled at me:
Intoon ho tuulo Taänik-eech …
We five address you
One below us: who
Was it who shat you out,
Who bore you, pus-man?
The voices owner was about ten arms away. From the words he used I knew he was a Harpy sun adder, sort of like a family priest, and from the voice itself … yes, a fuzzy image of the person it came from flickered in Chacals memories. Somehow he was messed up, physically, although he wasnt a dwarf … in fact I almost knew his revealed name, it was … hmm, what was it? I know I know his name
Offer him yellow water,
Red oil, red ale,
White water, shielding oil,
And blue-white ashes
It started raining. Hot rain, from all different directions. Oh, fuck, its urine. I instinctively contracted into a ball, with my still numb leg just a big void tingling at the edges.
There were at least four people around me, and each one was relieving himself of a prodigious amount of waste liquid. Fuck this, I thought. Damn. Water sports. They dont mean it personally. Its purifying. Right? Maybe.
Somebody steered his stream into my face. I thought I heard a snicker but maybe I just imagined it. Dont get humiliated, I told myself. Anyway, what do you care? They dont know you. Still, its hard to keep your equanimity when youre … Jesus, how do they hold this much? Put em away, guys, youve made your point. Bastards, bastards. Waitll Im in charge around here. Ill put you on lifetime latrine duty, and that means youll be the latrine.
As is the way of things, the stuff petered out. A wave of something else hit me, cool slippery stinging stuff, some mixture of sour balchethat is, lilac-tree beer, oil, and lye, with an evil-lemon smell of formic acid that, in these days before Janitor in a Drum, had to have been made out of crushed ants. The patches of raw skin on my back seemed to have caught on fire. As Jed I would have screamed like a stuck banshee, but Chacal had trained himself never to scream or squeal or even squirm. One of his earliest memories, and one of the most recurring, since it had already come up in my head more than once, was of lying naked and unoiled in high grass, letting a menagerie of insects nibble food mines in his skin, and seeing how long he could go without a twitch. I squinted harder and tried to clench my mouth around th
e gag but the cleanser wormed into my nostrils, and as I started to sneeze it sizzled into my throat.
Brian D'Amato Page 37
