“Especially when it’s two hundred years old,” I mumbled into my hands.
We all giggled, but just slightly. The emotional abuse I suffered at my mother’s hands was never actually funny, but over the years I’d learned humor was the easiest way to tamp down the pain.
“God strike me down where I stand for saying this, and I would only say this in front of the two of you, but why did it have to be him and not her?” I looked from one to the other after voicing such a bitter thought.
They knew what I meant without going into further detail. So often, my father protected me from her biting words and harsh criticism. And when she did catch me off guard and get in a quick jab, he would be there to pick up the pieces of my shattered ego. Sometimes I wondered if that was part of the reason she resented me the way she did, because he favored me so much. She was jealous—of me, her own daughter. The one she swore she wanted more than life itself. The one she’d hand-selected over all the others.
Maybe what made her choose me was the weakness she sensed in my composition. Maybe she recognized she would have an easy target to fling insults and psychological bombs at for all of our years to come, and I would sit idly by and take it because I felt so indebted to her and my father for rescuing me from the foster care system. She knew I wouldn’t dare fight back, or even so much as defend myself.
Some would describe me as a victim.
Coward seemed more accurate to me.
Chapter 2
Daniel
Even in mourning she was breathtaking. Just as I remembered her, albeit slightly older. But we both were, and honestly, the years looked better on her than youth. It pained me physically to watch from the shadows while her body trembled with emotion when they lowered William Greensboro’s casket into the ground.
Her father.
Our father, at one time—long ago.
She came to the foster home I had been in for one of the longest stays I could remember. Tall and awkward, already becoming a woman even though her years were that of a girl. I knew she watched me when she thought I was busy with my sketches. I could always feel her deep blue eyes studying me from across the room when we were supposed to be doing our homework. When we were forced to spend time outdoors, she would stay in the shade on the wraparound porch and read a book, and I would work under the big weeping willow tree with my sketch pad and draw picture after picture of her. I was fascinated by her. Utterly entranced with the way her hair blew in the wind, the material of the feminine sundresses she favored billowing around her long legs like sails around the mast of a tall ship.
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” Father O’Brien tossed a handful of soil on top of the cedar box encasing William’s remains and Katherine let out the obligatory sob, as if rehearsed over and over in front of her mirror that morning. Everyone in attendance was likely thinking the same thing but wouldn’t dare voice their dislike for the widow. The woman was notoriously sharp-tongued and vindictive and very well connected. A dangerous combination in a place like East Hampton, New York.
She never cared for me much while I lived at the Greensboro home. She didn’t care for most of the children, frankly. Except for Janvier. She was the apple of Katherine’s eye from the moment the social worker arrived with the lanky brunette. Something about the timid young girl called to the mother inside Katherine and she’d made it very clear to the other children that she was the favorite. She’d even gone as far as changing her name to something more “befitting” of a modern debutante and proceeded to force her into the mold of the perfect child she always wanted but couldn’t produce herself. Katherine kept Jane under her thumb with equal parts guilt and psychological torment, so the insecure adolescent girl had depended on her mother for everything. None of it made sense at the time, but now that I’d matured, it all added up.
The family filed out first and I finally caught a glimpse of her face. Tear-streaked cheeks heated my blood for all the wrong reasons—especially given the setting we were in. I moved farther behind the large maple tree and took a deep breath.
Don’t betray me right now, you bastard. I issued the warning to my hardening cock as it pushed against the thin material of my slacks.
I tried to regain control as my strung-out libido and brain battled over the merit of the self-imposed celibacy I had endured for the past few years. Libido was taking the W on this round.
Janvier’s two best friends flanked her on either side. Annalise and Charles were sister-close with her and seemed to be supporting her physically as they made their way to the waiting Bentley on the blacktop cemetery road.
Whispered voices faded, followed by car doors closing. Engines started, then drifted off over the hills and into the valleys of the cemetery landscape as the attendees made their way off the property. Maybe there would be a luncheon afterward, maybe there would be an informal gathering at the country club where many of the attendees belonged. It wasn’t something I was invited to—hell, I hadn’t even been invited to the funeral. An old friend who still worked in the social services office heard from a friend of a friend that William had passed and thought enough to let me know. William Greensboro was one of the kindest people I had met while I was in the system. I didn’t hold against him the way things had ended. I would’ve reacted the same way if she were my daughter.
“Daniel?” A soft voice shook me from the memory of the day I left the Greensboro house before the worst of the recollection soured my mood.
“Janvier.” I spoke her name with rough reverence. It was the first time I’d said it aloud in years. “I thought you left with the others.”
“I did. Well, I was about to, but I asked them to go on without me. I needed a little time alone.” She looked out over the landscape, watching the last car disappear over the hilltop.
“I can leave you then.” I hoped to god she would say no.
“No. You have every right to be here. He was once your father, too.” Her voice was uneven with emotion.
“That’s not really true. Not in the way he was yours.” I tried to memorize her face as it looked in that moment, in the event she changed her mind and asked me to leave.
“He loved you, Daniel.” She finally met my gaze, causing my breath to catch. The intensity of her sapphire eyes cast a spell on me.
Say something, fool.
“You look well.” The coarseness in my voice exposed the effect she still had on me.
Her cheeks gained a dusty shade of rose. She still felt it, too. “Thank you. As do you.” Her perfect upbringing still took precedence.
I pushed my hands deep into my pockets. My fingers burned with the need to touch her. I took a step toward her and she backed one step away, keeping the measured distance between us.
“I should go,” she said quickly, looking like cornered prey.
“No, please. Don’t leave on my account. You wanted time to say goodbye. I’ll go. I really was just hoping to see you.”
“Don’t say that.” She looked up at me again, but all she saw was naked truth in my stare.
I took another step toward her. This time she stayed in place.
“Is your husband in town with you? I didn’t see him at the service,” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Jonathan passed away three years ago. Cardiac arrest from an undiagnosed congenital heart condition.” Again, she spoke to the landscape.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” She had been through a lot since I’d seen her last. It explained the outward signs of exhaustion, even though she was just twenty-eight years old.
“Why would you?” she asked curtly.
“Still.” I shrugged, quickly second-guessing my comment. That was the right thing to do, right? To pass on condolences even if you didn’t feel the emotion?
“Well. Thank you.” Her feminine voice meshed with the rustling leaves in the breeze.
“Have you moved back here? To East Hampton?” Since I’d moved away, I had no way of knowing. This town wasn’t a place I’d s
ettle down. I never fit in here, and after being back for just a day, I was quickly reminded of the reasons why.
“No. I’m still in California. Jonathan and I made a life there. Friends. A home. Other than Anna, there’s nothing here for me,” she answered.
“Your mother?” I’d noticed the physical distance between them at the service, but Katherine Greensboro was never an outwardly affectionate woman, so I couldn’t really surmise much from what I saw.
She tilted her head to the side slightly and looked at me with a challenging smirk. “It’s an odd time to tease, Daniel.”
“I see.” So things hadn’t really changed between the two since we were younger.
“Well, I guess I should be going. Mother will worry. It was nice to see you again.” She didn’t wait for my reply, just turned and started walking toward the path that led back to the road.
“Janvier.” I trotted behind her, catching up quickly. When she turned abruptly, we nearly collided and I reached out to steady her on the grassy slope.
“Please, Daniel.” She tried to pull from my grasp, but I held her hand in mine and she stopped after making a halfhearted attempt.
“Can we spend some time together before we both go our separate ways again?” I asked, not trying to hide the hope in my voice.
“I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She shook her head adamantly while she answered.
“What harm would there be? You’re a widow now. I’m unattached. We’re consenting adults.”
“Unlike the last time,” she added dryly.
“The only thing different the last time was we were barely adults. But no one forced anyone to do anything, and you’re lying to yourself if that’s the way you’ve twisted history.” I paused for a moment to let the anger settle from my voice. “And after all these years, I still don’t regret a single moment. The aftermath was unnecessary, but the time I spent with you? Making love to you? Those were some of the best hours of my life.”
“Daniel. Stop!” She tore her hand from mine then. “Stop talking about all of that! Someone might hear you.”
“Look around, Janvier. Nothing but dead people.” I held my arms open wide and turned in a full circle. “No one will tell our secret.”
“We can’t be together like that again,” she said when I dropped my arms to my sides.
“Why? Are you saying you never thought about me again? About that night?” I was goading her, but it frustrated me to hear her deny the chemistry we had—the magic we shared.
“No.”
“No you never thought about me?” I pressed.
“No. That’s not what I’m saying,” Jane admitted quietly.
“Then why shouldn’t we see each other again?”
“It was wrong, Daniel. Don’t you understand that?” Her voice changed to pleading.
“No. I don’t understand that at all.” My temper was on the edge again.
“I have to go. Goodbye, Daniel.” The farewell was barely audible before she turned to go.
She hurried up the small embankment to the parked car on the side of the road. I heard the engine start quietly and then watched her wind down the road and out of sight as she left the property.
Janvier might have had herself convinced we shouldn’t explore the amazing chemistry between us, but I was determined to have her beneath me again. I was half the man I knew I could be if I had her in my life, and I wouldn’t settle for a future without her.
Chapter 3
Jane
By the time I got back to my childhood home, my heart recovered its normal pace, and my body temperature had settled into a normal zone, too. Being that close to Daniel had very unexpected effects on my physical well-being.
“Where have you been”? Charlie was the first to grill me when I walked in.
“Please don’t.” I held up my hand to stop the inquisition, pushing past her to change in my walk-in closet.
“What? All I asked is where you disappeared to. One minute you were there, and the next you were gone. If you hadn’t texted Anna, we would’ve sent out a search party.” She stood in the doorway, giving me a bit of privacy but still not letting up with the questions.
“Well, lucky I did then, hmmm?” I hung up the dowdy suit and tossed the shell in the hamper for the dry cleaners.
“Okay, what’s going on?” She folded her arms across her chest, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Why does something have to be going on?” I turned my back and unfastened my bra, then slipped on my robe, relishing the immediate comfort.
“Because you’re acting very defensive.” Anna joined my other friend in the doorway.
“I am not,” I insisted.
“Okay, Jane.” She let out a dramatic sigh. “We’ll just stand here and pretend you’re not until you’re ready to tell us why you are. Carry on.” She had the nerve to wave her hand in the air as though she were dusting off an imaginary shelf.
The last thing I wanted to do was talk about seeing Daniel, and the emotions it had stirred up. If lust and need could be called emotions. Anna and Charlie knew something had happened between us when we were younger. Hell, the entire town knew, for Christ’s sake. But I’d never shared the intimate details with anyone. It was a private moment I had always kept to myself. Something so intense I was convinced, at the time, that no one would understand what I was feeling. Everyone would say it was raging hormones, pubescent curiosity gone wild. So I’d kept our secret in my heart and never shared it with anyone.
“Wow.” Anna’s dry delivery of a normally excited exclamation shook me from my thoughts.
“No kidding,” Charlie added.
When I refocused on my two best friends, who were sitting on my bed in front of me, they were staring at me with ridiculous grins on their faces.
“What’s going on? What did I miss?” I looked back and forth between the two of them and then turned to see if someone was standing behind me for good measure.
“Girlfriend, whatever you’ve been daydreaming about must be some hot stuff!” Anna said.
“What? What are you talking about?” I tried to play it off, clutching a pillow from the pile at the headboard closer to my chest.
“We’ve been talking to you, about you, generally around and in your direction for several minutes, and you’re so wrapped up in your own head, you haven’t heard a word we’ve said,” Charlie lectured.
“Well, you both can be rather boring. I’m sorry to be the one to break that to you,” I said dryly.
“Nice try,” Anna answered.
“Mmm-hmm, right,” Charlie added.
“Tell us where you were.”
“And do it right now.”
“I stayed behind to say goodbye to my father. I told you that,” I defended.
“Okay. But there must be more,” Charlie insisted.
I just looked from one to the other again, deciding how much to tell them. They were my best friends, and it would feel so good to finally confide in them about Daniel.
“Tell us, Jane,” Anna implored, her voice tender.
“Daniel was there,” I finally whispered.
“I fucking knew it,” Charlie said, the profanity at odds with the sincerity in her tone.
“Sshhh. Keep your voice down. Katherine will be in here in two seconds if she hears his name. Or maybe she’s eavesdropping at the door like when we were in junior high.”
“Sorry. Sorry. I just knew there was something else going on when you came home. The look on your face was so…I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe it.” Anna looked supremely proud while claiming her accuracy on reading me when I got home.
“Well, what did he say? Where has he been all these years? Where does he live now? Does he want to see you?” Charlie fired questions faster than I could answer.
“Slow down. Oh my god. You’re making my head hurt.” I pressed the tips of my fingers in at my temples, trying to ease the throbbing. “I don’t know what he’s been up to
all these years. We barely had a chance to talk.”
“Because you were busy making up for lost time?” Charlie waggled her brows.
“Oh my god! No! Why would you even say that?” Maybe this was why I’d never told them.
“Oh, Jane, please. Stop with the denial bullshit. This is us! Remember? Your best friends? Your better than sisters?” Anna went for the guilt with the sister card. Low blow.
“But really, did he say where he’s living now? How did he find out about William’s passing?” she pressed.
“I’m not sure where he’s living, and to be honest, I don’t know.” I tried to remember something beyond how gorgeous he looked and how good he smelled. “I didn’t think to ask him how he heard about the funeral.”
“So why all the blushing and giddy love-sick stuff if you weren’t happy to see him?” Charlie accused, grabbing a pillow and lying on her stomach on the bed.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t happy to see him,” I defended.
“I’m just beating you to it, figuring that’s what you were going to try to sell us next,” she answered.
I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her, because that wouldn’t really help my cause at the moment. Not in the least.
“You guys are making this really hard.”
“Making what hard? We’re trying to be here for you, but you’re making us drag details out of you like a witness being questioned by a grand jury.”
“It feels like that, now that you put those words to it. And I feel very guilty.”
“It’s not a crime to be attracted to someone, Jane. And Daniel is gorgeous. He always has been. I can only imagine what a few years of maturity have done for him. Does he still have that mess of blond hair?” Charlie asked.
I just nodded my head slowly, a sly smile spreading across my face.
“So sexy,” she growled.
I swung my bug-eyed stare to Charlie, jealousy instantly igniting something in me I didn’t recognize. Possessiveness? How strange…
Alphas of Seduction Page 2
