I’d been searching for him for a week and had come up with nothing but air. If Stephen didn’t want to be found, then he wouldn’t be found. But now he wanted to talk to me.
On his terms.
My first instinct was to find Bishop, but if Stephen saw him with me I knew he’d leave and I’d never see him again.
I had to get my soul back on my own. Put the lid back on this box and keep it there. Then I’d be able to leave the city again, get past the barrier. Other people’s souls—including Bishop’s—wouldn’t drive me crazy with hunger. Everything would be better.
I could still fix this.
* * *
The Trinity Mall. Not my favorite place in the city.
Over three hundred stores on four levels, it was a shopping mall slash tourist destination. Trinity was huge enough to have a few malls, but this was the crown jewel right in the heart of downtown. I used to love coming here with Carly, shopping for hours on end, and having lunch in the food court downstairs, back when we both had regular-size appetites. We’d still gorge on the food—hamburgers, Chinese food, souvlaki, French fries, you name it. She’d complain about her slow metabolism and grumble about how I never gained a pound. I’d tell her she looked fine—because she always did whether she realized it or not. I should have told her how much I envied her curves.
But then I ran into some trouble here. After my parents’ divorce was finalized six months ago, I went on a bit of a shoplifting spree. Or, as my guidance counselor put it, “a cry for attention.”
It was never much, just enough to give me a rush of excitement that I was getting away with something. That I wasn’t being perfect, or good, or coloring inside the lines like everyone had told me to all my life. Instead of focusing on being a perfect student and getting all As, I got a lipstick. A scarf. A leather wallet. I knew it was wrong even as I shoved them in my pocket or under my shirt. I didn’t try to justify it as something I needed that I couldn’t afford. I could afford it. My father felt enough guilt over the divorce and his move across the ocean that my monthly allowance, written on checks with his gold-stamped law firm logo in the corner, were so big I didn’t even need to apply for part-time jobs. I mean, I couldn’t buy a car or anything major, but for the necessities of life, I could get what I needed.
Getting caught had been mortifying in so many ways. No charges were laid, but my humiliation was witnessed by several kids from school. The cop had been a jerk to me, treating me like a total juvie and a spoiled brat. I’d sat in the back of a cop car for an hour, and only through sheer will had I avoided having the anxiety attack I always got in enclosed spaces. I’d closed my eyes and breathed in and out, pretending to be somewhere, anywhere else.
My penance for my short life of crime was to do some community service. I worked in the kitchen at a local mission and had the chance to interact with people who really had it bad while I had never appreciated how good I had it. I had a home, a roof over my head and a mother who loved me. I’d met homeless people who had nothing and nobody.
It was the most important lesson of my life. Be grateful for what you have, since it can be taken away at any time. Sometimes fate steps in to pull the rug from beneath your feet whether you’re prepared or not—and we all fall differently.
I now regretted my month of shoplifting, and not just because I’d been caught. I knew it was wrong and I’d done it for stupid reasons. Not that there was ever a good reason to steal.
But I still hated this mall. I usually shopped at the one on the north side of the city. Took longer to get there, but at least the floors weren’t tiled with my shame.
Past Macy’s and a lineup of other stores that at one time would have been calling my name were the escalators up to the fourth floor. I wasn’t a fan of the elevators due to my claustrophobia. I didn’t even like wearing turtlenecks.
At the moment, I didn’t need any more anxiety than I already had.
The railing curved in a circle around the open center of the fourth floor and looked down into the main floor food court a hundred feet below. A massive chandelier of crystal birds hung from the glass ceiling, a piece by some artist that had cost a ton of money when the mall opened twenty years ago. When the sun from the skylights hit it just right—it was magic.
I gripped the railing and gazed down nervously at the food court. Despite my big breakfast, my stomach grumbled. Sundays were a busy day at the mall. There were thousands of people here, and I swear I sensed the press, the heat and the scent of every one of their souls.
I couldn’t stay here for very long. Already, I felt the need to escape.
“You’re here.”
Stephen’s voice bit through my concentration and I tensed, turning slowly to see him leaning against the railing six feet to my left.
This was real. He was here. I’d finally found him.
Or, rather, he’d found me.
Stay calm.
But that was a losing proposition. I couldn’t be calm around Stephen Keyes.
A very short time ago I thought he was the hottest guy I’d ever seen, in Trinity or anywhere else. Black hair, cinnamon-colored eyes with a slight exotic slant to them thanks to his Hawaiian-born mother.
Stephen only dated the most beautiful girls. I never expected to be one of them. I preferred to admire him from afar and keep my heart safe from being trampled on. But...then he kissed me. And he’d hurt more than just my heart.
For a fleeting moment, I’d honestly thought the boy I’d always had a crush on had been into me. Instead, he’d been on assignment for my aunt to remove my soul and free my nexus abilities so they could be used for her gain.
I had no interest in someone like Stephen who would lie to me, use me and steal something so valuable from me. And I never would again. While Bishop had sworn to help me, and I did believe he meant it despite my many doubts and questions about him, the only person I completely trusted was the one I saw in the mirror.
My grip on the railing tightened painfully as a group of teens moved past, way too close, the scent of their souls brushing into my orbit of hunger.
“So here we are,” Stephen said.
“That’s close enough,” I said when he got four feet away.
He stopped. “I’m not planning to hurt you. I’m not the one who carries around a sharp golden dagger, remember?”
“No, you’re the one who helped my aunt nearly kill me.”
“I don’t think she would have killed you.” There were dark shadows under his eyes, which made it look as if he hadn’t slept in days. I’d noticed the same circles under my eyes this morning, thanks to my nightmare-induced tossing and turning. “Besides, she’s gone.”
A stomach-churning image of the Hollow grabbing hold of my aunt after Carly had stabbed her with Bishop’s dagger flashed through my mind. “Are you upset about that?”
He gave me a grim look. “No.”
I didn’t want to take my attention off him in case he disappeared in a puff of smoke. This is what I’d wanted. I’d searched the city for him for a week and now he was standing right in front of me. “I don’t want to talk about my aunt, Stephen. I’m here for one reason and one reason only.”
“Your soul.”
“And Carly’s. Give them back to me.”
He looked down at the food court, his jaw tight. “Look at all of them. It’s hard to believe they have no idea what’s happening in Trinity right now. Right in front of their eyes. Humans.” He said it with barely contained disgust.
He was trying to change the subject. I had to stay calm and not make any huge demands. He had all the power here, but I didn’t want him to know that. “You’re human.”
“I was.”
“Now you think you’re more than that?”
He didn’t answer my question. His gaze flicked to me. “You were already more than human before this.”
I tried not to grimace. He knew I was a nexus, thanks to Natalie. My little secret that nobody was supposed to know. “Other than t
he hunger, I don’t feel any different than before.”
Stephen studied my face, as if searching for some clue there. “You will.”
I still gripped the railing as if it was the only thing keeping me from tumbling over. “No, I won’t.”
He shook his head. “Things are changing...ever since Natalie’s been gone.”
“Is this another recruitment speech or a warning?”
He snorted a little, and I could have sworn he looked a bit nauseous.
I frowned. “Are you all right?”
That earned me another dry laugh. “Do you really care about my well-being, Samantha?”
My hands were sweating as I forced myself to stay calm and not start shrieking demands. “You wanted to talk to me. So talk. What’s changing?”
He kept his eyes forward, not looking directly at me. “It wasn’t like this when Natalie was still around.”
“What?”
“It starts with the cold. Like...worse than normal. Worse than the cold we feel from not having a soul. And the hunger...” His expression tightened. “You can’t ignore it even if you try. It’s there...a constant need that doesn’t leave for a second, driving you to feed from someone...anyone. And it doesn’t get satisfied when you give in to it...it—it just gets worse.”
I think I stopped breathing. This wasn’t what I’d expected him to say—not at all. “What are you talking about?”
He swallowed, and when his gaze met mine I swear I saw fear there. “Stasis.”
I shook my head. “What’s stasis?”
When he wrenched his gaze from the food court to look at me again, there was something in his eyes that scared me. Something bleak and defeated.
Stephen was afraid.
This realization chilled me right down to my bones.
“Feeding—kissing someone—it makes you feel better for a little while. But...it doesn’t stop what’s going to happen. We’re changing, Samantha. You will, too. We lose our minds, our control. Everything.”
I started to tremble. He was talking about the zombie grays. “But—but that’s what happens to the grays that feed too much. Natalie warned us to control ourselves or we’ll end up like that. But if we don’t feed, it won’t happen. Right?”
“It’s different now. She didn’t know. We go into that state and...then we come back out again. That mindlessness, it’s only the beginning.” He didn’t say it like it was a good thing.
I stared at him, trying to understand, but then with a sickening feeling it all clicked into place for me. “Oh, God. The gray from last night...”
“What?”
“He was different.” My words were barely audible. I tensed up as more people closely brushed past us. “He—he was stronger, more powerful, and...and evil. Like, he had no...” I gritted my teeth before I managed to continue. “Like he had no soul.”
Stephen didn’t mock me and tell me this was a stupid thing to say—that of course a gray had no soul. Instead, his expression only grew more grave. “That’s right. Any morals, any compassion we have left—after stasis, it’s gone. Stripped. Soulless, completely and totally.”
I took this in and worked the disturbing information over in my head. “I thought you were already like that.”
He let out a humorless snort. “I’ve changed from how I was before, but not completely. Not like what I’ve seen in the past few days.”
I clasped my hands tightly to keep them from shaking. “So this guy—he was one of the zombies, and then he...then he came back from that?”
He nodded.
I couldn’t speak for a full minute, just staring at him. “Why are you telling me this? Why did you want to meet me here?”
He looked at me steadily. “Because it’s my fault you’re like this. I wanted to warn you.”
There was a big part of Stephen that had been changed forever by becoming a gray, one that could be manipulated by Natalie to do bad things on her behalf—but he wasn’t completely changed yet. There was still some part of him that remained the same Stephen that I’d had a crush on.
He was afraid of what was to come. For himself...and for me.
I fought to find the words to speak. “How long before it happens?”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “All I know is—it’s coming, Samantha. And I don’t know how it’ll go for me.”
My stomach clenched. “What do you mean?”
“Stasis either evolves you into something dark, something evil—worse than anything I ever could have imagined.” He hesitated. “Or...it kills you.”
Chapter 9
Stephen didn’t start laughing and tell me he was just messing with me. He was totally serious. This horrible situation didn’t have a happy ending, a slow fading of the hunger like my aunt had suggested, and a return to normal life.
It had a death sentence.
I grabbed hold of his sleeve as my numbness over his deadly proclamation faded and panic set in like somebody lighting up a firecracker inside me. “You need to give me back my soul...and Carly’s, too. Please, Stephen, before it’s too late.”
His expression turned stony. “You mean before I change. Or die.”
I dug my fingers into his arm as he began to pull away from me. “Stephen—”
“Oh. My. God. You have got to be kidding me right now, right?”
My stomach sank at the sound of the familiar voice behind me. I didn’t have to turn around. I knew who it was.
If I had a nemesis, Jordan Fitzpatrick was it. She was a drop-dead gorgeous redhead, and an aspiring model. We went to the same school.
She hated me. And the feeling was completely mutual. I didn’t like coming face-to-face with her in public places since she never held back on her opinion, especially when it came to me. Sometimes I could take it and throw it right back at her. But other times words could hurt me, even if they weren’t sticks and stones.
Did I mention that Stephen was her ex, and he’d broken her heart?
While still reeling from the horrific news Stephen had shared with me, I turned slowly to see Jordan standing there with her best friend and trusty blond sidekick, Julie Travis. Julie was another one who wasn’t thrilled by my continuing existence—and vice versa. Julie was the reason that Colin and Carly had broken up over the summer. She’d slept with him while he’d been drunk at a party.
It wasn’t all Julie’s fault, of course. Colin was at least fifty percent to blame. But still. If anyone hurts my friends and has zero remorse about it, then that’s a nice shortcut to getting on my hate list.
Julie shot daggers at me through her eyeballs for standing here in the middle of the mall talking to Stephen Keyes. She still considered him Jordan’s property. Jordan, however, didn’t even glance at me. Her attention was fully fixed on Stephen.
“You,” Jordan began shakily, as if grappling for the right words. “I—I didn’t even know you were back from university.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. He appeared to be stunned, his face pale. “I am.”
“You haven’t replied to any of my texts.”
He averted his gaze, instead choosing to look at the crystal birds above us. “I thought we dealt with this, Jordan. It’s over between us.”
“Oh, you made that clear in your email, don’t worry.”
I already knew he’d dumped her via email. That was cold.
Jordan swallowed hard. “I guess I don’t feel like I should be blamed for wanting to know the reason why.” Finally, I received a withering look of death. “Or maybe I do know.”
Here we go.
Stephen flicked a glance at me before returning his attention to her. “It’s not what you think.”
“Isn’t that what they always say in the movies? Pathetic. No, I think it’s exactly what I think. You’re interested in Samantha, the town klepto.”
I winced at that. But at least she didn’t call me a slut this time.
When Stephen kissed me at Crave, people saw it. But they hadn’t seen a monster d
evouring a victim’s soul. They thought they’d just witnessed a hot kiss.
News got back to Jordan through the grapevine while she was still dealing with the heartbreak of being dumped in such a cold, impersonal way. I couldn’t totally blame her for being angry. I would have been hurt, too, if the guy I really liked was seen kissing somebody I disliked so much.
Still, Jordan’s high school drama didn’t trump my life-and-death struggle. I needed time with Stephen to convince him to give me my soul back before it was too late.
“We’re just talking,” I told her as calmly as I could.
Sounded so harmless: just talking.
Only it was a subject that had the potential to destroy not only mine and Stephen’s, but the lives of every single person in Trinity if we didn’t find a solution.
“I don’t really care what you do.” Jordan said in that way that made it clear that she did care very much what Stephen did and with whom. “Damn it.”
Her eyes became glossy and she angrily wiped at them.
Tears of pain, no matter who they were from, had a way of working their way under my skin and directly to my heart. She wasn’t just being a bitch. She was genuinely hurt over this.
Something flashed across Stephen’s face just before he turned away from her.
Anguish.
Stephen hated hurting Jordan like this. I’d had a hunch that he’d broken up with her at the same time he’d been turned into a gray by Natalie, and it wasn’t because he’d been romantically interested in my aunt.
No. It was because he loved Jordan and he didn’t want to hurt her.
Damn. I didn’t want to feel bad for two people I hated. But I did, anyway.
“I can’t be here right now.” Stephen turned away.
Jordan grabbed his arm. “You’re running away? Just like that? So typical.”
He yanked his arm away from her. His breathing had quickly become more labored. She’d entered his orbit of hunger. I was very familiar with how out of control he was feeling right now.
An impossible-to-ignore need for him to kiss her; heart pounding, hunger rising, but knowing the kiss would hurt her.
Torture was definitely the right word.
Wicked Kiss (Nightwatchers) Page 9
