by HELEN HARDT
“Christ, Talon, what’s wrong with you?”
Snippets of images formed in my mind. Getting back from Grand Junction…alone in the house…doorbell…Steve…under arrest…handcuffs…
I hadn’t resisted until now. Why hadn’t I resisted? It was all a blur. A black evil blur. A blur with a phoenix tattoo…
I stood, got out of the car, and landed a roundhouse kick to Steve’s chest. Steve went down, and I turned and ran. I ran and I ran and I ran…like I should have run all those years ago—
Until I straightened like a board. My body hit the concrete with a thud, my muscles spasming. Had to piss, had to shit. Couldn’t fucking move.
“Help me! For the love of God, help me!”
No one came.
No one ever came.
Dying. I was obviously dying, and no one cared. Minute by minute by minute…
No one…
“All right, come on, Steel.” An arm helped me to my feet. “What were you thinking, kicking a police officer?”
“It’s okay, Sarge.” Steve’s voice. “He’s just having a hard time. I’m not pressing charges. The Taser was punishment enough.”
Taser. I had been tased. I looked down. My pants were dry, thank God. I hadn’t made all over myself. Though my hands were still bound, I could move my fingers. I stepped forward. I could walk. My head hurt, like a hammer pounding my temple.
“You doing okay, Tal?” Steve asked. “Ten seconds from a Taser’s a lot to take.”
Ten seconds? More like an hour. “I don’t belong here,” was all I said.
“Yeah, you do, when you beat up a guy,” a voice, not Steve’s, said.
I turned. An older cop—must have been the sarge—had his pistol trained on me. He kept it aimed while Steve walked me into the building. I wasn’t afraid of guns. The world contained much worse implements of torture.
White noise again as they filled out paperwork, took my fingerprints and my mug shot.
Again as they watched me undress and put on the orange prison clothes they gave me.
Again as they shoved me into a jail cell.
My hands now free, I huddled in the corner, the white noise finally silencing. Dark and eerie voices replaced it, hurling me back through time.
The boy huddled in the corner of the dark cellar, the pain cutting through him, his blood soaking the meager gray blanket his captors had given him. He had vomited what had been left in his stomach—oatmeal cookies and a slice of watermelon, his afternoon snack.
A sandwich sat next to him. They’d left it when they were done.
He couldn’t eat. He’d never eat again.
At least he was no longer tied up. They’d locked him in. Alone.
“Get up. Get up and try to find a way out of here,” the voice inside his head commanded.
But his body was weak. Torn up. Used. He couldn’t move.
His little brother had gotten away. He’d run like the wind when the boy told him to. Thank God.
“Come on. Get up!” The inner voice again. “You don’t deserve this. Get out of here. You can recover. You can go on. Fight, damn it, fight!”
The boy didn’t move.
And the voice never spoke again.
Chapter Twenty–One
Jade
I quickly leafed through the folder. Colin had filed charges against Talon for assault and battery. Damn. This had never occurred to me, and it probably should have. One thing was for sure—I couldn’t take this case. I had major conflicts of interest on both sides.
I opened my mouth to say as much, but Larry started talking.
“Talon Steel was just arrested today. As far as I know, he’s next door in lockup at the police station. I’m sure one of his rich brothers will bail him out any minute now.”
I gasped. At least he was safe. Where had he been? He must have been taken in after I left for work this morning. My skin prickled. I couldn’t stand the thought of him in a dank little cell.
“Mr. Wade—”
“Larry, please.”
I nodded. “Larry, you know I’m staying at the Steel ranch. And I feel I’m under obligation to tell you also that the alleged victim in this case, Colin Morse, is my ex-fiancé. So clearly, you can see how I have a conflict of interest here. I don’t think I can work on this case.”
“Nonsense. In a small town like this, there’s always some kind of conflict one way or another. We all know each other.”
“But I—”
“This isn’t anything different than what we see all the time around here. You will take the case. Mr. Morse is staying in a hotel in Grand Junction. His contact information is in the file. I don’t know if Mr. Steel has retained counsel, but if you want to go next door to the police station and speak to him, now might be a good time.”
I couldn’t believe this. Perhaps Larry didn’t feel what he was doing was unethical, but I sure did. Yes, I got that in a small town the potential for conflict was pretty great, but I had conflict on both sides of this case.
“Larry, I’m asking you as a professional. Please don’t make me take this case.”
“Jade, I’ve known the Steels since they were kids. I have just as much conflict as you do. But someone has to take this case.”
“No, you don’t have as much conflict as I do. I have conflict on both sides. I was engaged to the alleged victim, for goodness’ sake. And I was a witness to the attack.”
Larry’s face turned red. Had I crossed a line? I did want this job, and I was thrilled that he was giving me the opportunity.
“If you’re unable to take the work that I assign you, I will have to find another attorney for the position.”
Yup, I’d crossed a line. I knew an ethical violation when I saw one, but I needed the job. I couldn’t hang out at the ranch forever. And he did have a point about conflict being rampant in a small town. Plus, this way, I could make sure Talon wasn’t too harshly punished. For some reason, turning over control of Talon’s fate to Larry or anyone else didn’t feel right to me. I’d make sure Talon got an attorney, and any attorney worth his license would make sure I was removed from this case.
“No, you don’t need to find another attorney. I appreciate the opportunity to work here. I will take the case.”
“I think that’s a wise decision. But I’ll advise you, Jade, if you want to keep this job, do not question my ethics again.”
I nodded. I had no doubts. From what I learned in legal ethics class, Larry was definitely violating ethics by putting me this case, and consequently, I was as well. But this was a small town. What he said made a lot of sense. If we were that stringent about conflicts, we’d have to bring in outside counsel to prosecute every case. That wouldn’t be feasible. So I would work the case to the best of my ability. I didn’t want Talon to go to jail. I could see that he paid restitution and got community service or something.
I walked out of the building, and Marj met me with some takeout.
“I grabbed us some food. I thought we could eat in the park. Such a beautiful day. Might help us take our minds off Talon.”
Talon. Why did I have to be the one to tell her?
“Talon came back,” I said.
She smiled. “Really? Where is he? What happened?” Then her happy face fell. “Oh, God.”
I swallowed, nodding. “Marj, I can’t have dinner with you right now. I have to go next door. I have a case to work on. Talon has been arrested. Colin filed charges against him for assault and battery. That’s why the cops were looking for him last night.”
Marj clamped her hand to her mouth. “What are we going to do? I’ll go with you.”
I shook my head. “I need to go alone. This is business.”
“But he’s my brother.”
“That’s exactly why I need to go. You’re too emotionally involved.” What a crock. I was just as emotionally involved, if not more so. “Besides, it’s my job.”
“But you’re working for the city attorney. That means…”
> I nodded. “Yes, that means I’m working against Talon. But don’t worry. I’m going to take care of this so that he’s in as little trouble as possible. I promise you.”
“I need to walk over to the firm and get an attorney for him,” Marj said.
I nodded again. “That’s a good idea. Hurry. It’s almost five. They might be closing soon. I’ll let him know another attorney is on the way.”
Marj ran off, still carrying our food, while I plodded over to the police station.
Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting in a witness room across the table from Talon. Even in orange, the man was a god. He made prison garb look like Armani.
He didn’t speak, clearly on edge. Tense. It was written all over his face, from his pursed lips and clenched jaw to his wrinkled forehead.
I cleared my throat softly. “Talon, I want you to know that you can have an attorney present during this meeting.”
“You mean you’re not my attorney?”
I shook my head. How I wished I were. “No, I’m the assistant city attorney. Larry Wade just hired me and gave me this case.”
Talon rolled his eyes. “Oh, for the love of God…” He glared at me, his eyes black and angry.
“You’re not thinking anything I haven’t already thought myself. But this will be all right. I can make sure everything turns out okay. The first thing we need to do is get you an attorney.”
“Jade, you have to get me out of here. I don’t want an attorney.”
“If you want to get out of here, you need one. Marj is heading over to the firm right now to find one for you.”
“Those jokers? I wouldn’t pay one of them to represent me.”
“Talon—”
“I plead guilty, damn it. I fucking plead guilty. Send me off to prison.”
My brain was rattled for a moment. Had I heard him right? “Talon, I’m going to consider this all off the record. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“You are a representative of the city of Snow Creek and consequently the state of Colorado. I am pleading guilty to you, an officer of the court. Take my plea, and send me up the river.”
What was with him? Three seconds ago, he wanted me to get him out of there. “As I said,” I continued through clenched teeth, “this is all off the record. This conversation is not taking place. Any guilty plea you want to enter with me is not going to get entered. I will not be taking any pleas from you, only from your attorney.”
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Suit yourself.”
“Now, I can help you. Colin is a reasonable man. I’m sure he will agree to drop the charges if you pay him restitution.”
“I’m not paying that asshole off.”
“Talon, you beat the crap out of him. He might have medical bills. You owe him that much.”
Talon said nothing, just crossed his arms and glared at me.
“Be reasonable.”
“Be reasonable? You want me to be reasonable? I had a cop come to the house this morning, took me away from my home in fucking handcuffs, like a common criminal. They locked me up, Jade. They locked me up in a cell. You have no idea…”
“Have no idea about what? What did you expect? When you beat the hell out of someone, that person might decide to file charges. You are a criminal, Talon. But this is fixable, if you’ll just let me help you.”
He closed his eyes. Dark circles rimmed them, his laugh wrinkles more apparent than usual. He obviously hadn’t slept last night. Where had he been? I opened my mouth to ask, but he spoke.
“Maybe I don’t want to fix it. Maybe I’m just too fucking tired to fix it.”
“Look, even if you do plead guilty, you probably won’t go to jail for a simple battery. Colin is fine. There are no lasting issues. You might get a fine, or restitution, maybe some community service and probation. You probably won’t do any jail time.”
“I happen to know that misdemeanor assault in Colorado carries a potential of three years jail time.” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“I see you’re familiar with the criminal code in Colorado.”
“I do a lot of reading,” he said. “I never sleep, remember?”
I sighed. What was I going to do with him? He seemed determined to destroy himself. Well, not on my watch.
A knock sounded on the door, and I turned.
A uniformed officer led a man in. “Mr. Steel, your attorney is here,” the officer said.
I stood and held out my hand. “I’m Jade Roberts with the city attorney’s office.”
“Peter O’Keefe.” The man took my hand. “Do you mind if I talk to my client alone?”
I shook my head. “Not at all.”
Talon stood. “I mind. She stays.”
“Talon, that’s not a good idea. Mr. O’Keefe is here to help you.” I turned to O’Keefe. “Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”
“Mr. Steel, your sister explained the circumstances to me and also explained Ms. Roberts’s involvement. I’m going to try to have her removed from the case due to conflict of interest.”
“Just so you know,” I said, “I tried to get out of this case myself. Larry wouldn’t let me.”
O’Keefe nodded. “Larry has a tendency to bend ethics whenever he can.”
I didn’t doubt it. “You can get me off this case if you want to, but I’m willing to strike a pretty good deal.” I put my hand on the doorknob. “Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”
“Damn it!”
I turned and faced Talon after his outburst.
“Haven’t I made myself clear? I said she stays.”
O’Keefe let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. But if I tell you to shut up, you better damn well shut up. Maybe we can get this settled today.”
“It’s already settled. I plead guilty. I want to go to jail.”
I shook my head. “Talon, please. There’s no reason for you to go to jail. Colin is not even that injured.”
“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you’re saying, Mr. Steel,” O’Keefe said. “The city attorney here is clearly willing to work with us. Why are you so against it?”
“I committed a crime. Criminals belong in jail.”
“Technically this is a misdemeanor, not a crime,” I said.
“Ms. Roberts is correct. You haven’t been accused of a crime. You haven’t even been charged with anything. You’ve only been arrested. Your sister is arranging for bail right now. You should be out of here within a couple of hours.”
“Nope, I think I’m staying.”
I threw my hands in the air. “I’ll leave you two to battle this out.” I turned to O’Keefe. “Afraid I don’t have a business card yet. I just started work today.” I hastily scribbled my cell phone number on a Post-it. “You can reach me here.”
“Thank you. I’ll be in touch,” he said.
“I told you, she stays!”
I left anyway.
Chapter Twenty–Two
Talon
Peter O’Keefe was an idiot. What had Marj been thinking, sending him? He sat across from me, drenching me with saliva every time he spoke. He asked me a bunch of questions about that asshole Colin, and I answered them truthfully.
“So I’m pretty sure we can get this down to reckless endangerment, maybe get some community service. Shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Jade says she thought she could get the guy to drop the charges.”
“We can’t count on that. But it would be great if she could.”
“Whatever. I don’t care if I stay here. I really don’t.” Fucking lie that was. I couldn’t bear the thought of being locked up. My nerves were a jumble of jelly. But I would take care of it and I would do it if it meant no one else would be destroyed because of me. I belonged somewhere where I couldn’t hurt anyone. Even if the walls caved in on me. I could do it. I’d lived through it before.
“Mr. Steel, you’re talking nonsense. Once you get out of here, you’ll see that.” O’Keefe took a card out of his w
allet and slid it across the table to me. “I’m going to ignore your guilty plea because you aren’t in a position to make a plea at this time. The charges haven’t even officially been filed.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well, start caring. I’ll be in touch.”
O’Keefe stood, but before he could open the door, it opened from the other side and a uniformed officer entered.
“Steel,” he said, “your bail’s been posted. You’re free to go.”
Great. Free to go. Free as the birds in the sky. Free to enjoy life.
What a fucking crock. I would never be free.
I followed the officer to a locker room.
He handed me a paper bag. “Here are your personals. Go ahead and get changed. I’ll meet you up front, and we’ll process you on out of here.”
I took the bag without saying a word. What was there to say? Thank you? He didn’t stay to watch me dress this time. I threw the bag down on the bench and sat, the white concrete walls beating in time with my heart.
The walls advanced again…
Won’t go there. Can’t go there.
But the monstrous walls lurched forward. The floor tilted, and I slid off the bench, my skin clammy, my heart thundering. I stared at the stark ceiling, the fluorescent lights blinding me. My bowels churned, and bile inched up my throat.
Needed to breathe. Couldn’t…fucking…breathe…
Help! The words stuck in my throat. I climbed back to the bench, back to safety. Breathe, Talon. Breathe. If you lose consciousness again, they’ll never leave you alone.
The boy’s voice had grown hoarse from screaming. His fingernails were filed down and his fingertips scabbed over from clawing at the concrete walls.
After a while, he no longer screamed, and eventually his voice repaired itself and his fingers healed. He sat, his arms around his legs, his chin resting in the indent formed by his two knees.
He had gotten used to his circumstances. A bucket sat in the corner of the room where he took care of his needs. His captors only changed it when they came for him. The days grew together. Had they been there yesterday? Or had it been longer? Sometimes he got three meals a day. Sometimes he got nothing. His stomach had long ago stopped growling for food. Sometimes they brought him water. More often they taunted him with the full icy glass.
