“I think that could be beneficial, but I still think you should run it, Saint. We could have some Queens speak, my wife I’m sure would be obliged, but you still need to be a major component in it,” James said.
“What would this cover?” another man asked.
“From the information James gave me, it would cover her role from a girlfriend to a wife. It would go over how to deal with family members that are opposed to her dating a Rainbeau, from her side of the family as well as his. It would go over courtship, values and trying to stay positive. It would also cover sex and intimacy, what is expected of her, touch a bit about pregnancy with a biracial baby or multiracial baby as a result of that and how to attract a Rainbeau for those that are struggling to make any love connections.” Saint sighed. “Someone also needs to address with them the race concept actually being abstract. It’s not even real, as I’ve taught you all. There is no such thing as race and I think many Queens who are afraid need to hear this so they can move forward and follow their heart’s desires as well.”
“Well Saint, the last part you mentioned, including the intimacy portion, that’s your expertise, not ours,” one of the members noted.
Saint knew that if he took this on, it would take a lot of planning and more time away from his family. He wasn’t looking forward to the conversation with Xenia about it.
“OK, Saint,” James said as he stood up. “Please come have a seat. We will discuss this more later. Thank you for taking over while I caught my breath for a moment.”
Saint nodded and sat back down.
The next twenty-five minutes were spent going over the strategy for the Clayman case as well as ensuring funding for the two centers.
Saint went back to his office and sat down. He opened his laptop and strategized the direction he wanted to go for his next sex DVD where he’d be focusing on the art of kissing, as well as the upcoming conference to be held in Toronto, Canada.
Saint worked diligently into the evening. He rubbed his eyes and looked outside his window. Dusk had fallen and the lights from the expressway and 3D billboards shone brightly. He leaned back in his chair and yawned, stretching his legs under his desk as he put his hands behind his head.
“7:02PM – I better get home,” he muttered. Xenia would be pissed if he was late again. He was never late coming home, except in the past two months, when he could barely get home before eight. “This is getting old. I’m getting too wrapped up.” Saint stood up and grabbed his laptop, shoving it into the carrier bag. He walked out of his office into a lobby area with only the brightness from the green banker reception desk lamps to ease the darkness. As he went down the elevator, he thought contemplatively about taking Xenia out for a romantic dinner. He hadn’t taken her out for a nice meal in over two weeks. It was time they did this soon, like tomorrow.
Saint scratched his neck and watched as the lights highlighting each floor finally reached one. The doors opened, and he immediately heard the vacuums from the cleaning crew. He waved to the custodians and nodded at the security guard as he made his way out of the building. Saint dug in his pant pocket and pulled out his car keys. They clinked together against other keys and a keychain with ‘New York’ written in bright red letters against an ivory background. He noticed a tall silhouette from the corner of his eye. She moved towards him, her long, jet-black, bone-straight hair swinging just at her waist. Smooth, dark chocolate skin; high cheek bones; and slanted, alluring, dark brown eyes focused intensely on him as her white high heels and diamond anklet shone in the dusky early evening canvas.
“Hello, Saint,” she said as she placed her white clutch purse under her arm. Payton licked her full, glossy lips and batted her eyelashes as she slightly tilted her oval shaped face to the left, staring at him and undressing him with her eyes.
Saint looked at her and swallowed hard. He stopped in his tracks as she finished her approach. He could instantly smell the familiar scent of her allure, the perfume she customarily wore and her own natural aroma that used to intoxicate him on a daily basis.
“Well, well, hello Payton. What in the world are you doing in L.A.?” Saint asked smoothly, ensuring she would never know the shock he was feeling.
“I’m here on business,” Payton quickly answered. “I had heard that you live in L.A. now, so I looked you up and found out you work here.” She looked around at the towering, ultra-modern building, puzzled. “That’s odd. You’re a sex shrink and an interracial relationship advocate and author, not a banker. Never mind that, I’m glad to see you,” she said with a sly grin.
“You looked me up, huh?” Saint shook his head. “How’d you really find me, Payton? Did you have one of your paralegals chase me down? Maybe you’ve been watching me for days.”
Payton laughed. “You were always so private, so paranoid.” She swung her hair over her shoulder, exposing more of her short white jacket and matching mini-skirt. “Sure, I have my ways, but nothing stalker-like.” She raked her gaze over him. “Damn, you still look good, actually even better than when I last saw you. You look happy,” she said as she looked him up and down once more, this time focusing intensely on his nether region. “I sure miss you and your dick,” she laughed.
“So I take it married life isn’t going too well?” Saint frowned as he slowly began to walk towards his car again. Payton followed close behind.
She sighed and shrugged. “To tell you the truth, Saint, we got a divorce about seven months ago.” Payton looked briefly down at the ground. “It was because of you,” she said, looking back up at him with a smile.
“What do you mean, because of me? I never contacted you or tried to rekindle what we had,” Saint said as his car door automatically opened from him leaning towards it.
“Oh, I know. I think the fact that I said your name one too many times during sex kind of got on his nerves,” she snorted. “I heard you got married.” She scowled and looked at his hand, squinting as she zeroed in on his shining wedding band.
“Yeah, I did.” Saint stooped to place his bag into the car, then stood straight, crossing his arms over his chest in slight agitation.
“Well, congratulations!” Payton said, forcing a smile. “I’ve always wondered why it wasn’t me, as long as we’d been together, but I guess you made your choice so there is no need to rehash it, huh?” she shrugged, pain stinging her eyes, threatening tears to disperse as if their relationship had just been terminated.
Saint looked away and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Payton, I’m sorry if I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.” He tried to find the right words. “I was always real with you. I didn’t have that connection with you that was needed in order for us to be together like that, to be married. I knew what type of woman I was looking for and you just weren’t her.”
“Ouch,” Payton said, smiling anxiously as she looked down at her shoes and teeter tottered. “Yeah, you were always honest, brutally so sometimes.” She shook her head. “I was your girlfriend though, didn’t that mean anything?”
“Payton, you know how I rolled. You were my girlfriend in title. I always had other women, and I made that clear. You accepted the circumstances. You were my main woman; the one that I spent the most time with, you got top billing. You got the most money spent on you. You were the one I let stay around me the most. You were brought around my friends and family, not the others. I never brought you to my house because you knew my rules about that. I never saw you as Queen, wife material. Sorry if that hurts you. I already told you that when we were together but you kept trying to change my mind. Yes, we were in a relationship but it was open. I don’t understand why you are acting like I cheated on you or something? You know what this was.”
Saint looked straight at her. “Why are you really here Payton?” he asked, growing more annoyed. “Yeah, you’re here on business but why did you find me and wait for me? You know I’m married, you said so yourself. Knowing you, you probably know I have children now, too. What we had was over seven years ago. Wh
at’s really going on here?”
Payton walked closer to him, invading his personal space. Though she was tall and in heels, Saint was still four inches taller. She wrapped her long arms around his waist and laid her head on his heaving chest.
“Damn you smell good, you always smelled good,” Payton said as she closed her eyes.
Saint gently removed her arms and pushed her off. “Please don’t do that again, Payton. Don’t put your hands on me.”
Payton threw up her hands and gave an incredulous laugh. “Oh wow! Now you’ve got morals! Incredible, I doubt that she can out-fuck me, Saint. No bitch can out-fuck me.” Payton’s face turned serious, almost sinister, as the angry words spewed. “Yeah, I know all about your wife. This new moral code of yours is preposterous. So you’re the family man, now? You have two sons that look up to you, right? Do they know their daddy used to have four and five, shit, sometimes even six or seven women in a hotel room at the same time, fucking each and every one of them while the others would watch, stop and wait, begging for their turn to get a taste and ride on that big cock?”
She crossed her arms and spat venom at him.
“I guess being one of those rare men that can cum over and over in a short period of time worked to your advantage! You’re insatiable. Does your precious wife know about your enjoyment of tying women up?” Payton yelled. “Did you tell her? You know, the kinky, crazy shit you’re into?”
“I don’t have to. She knows me well.” Saint rolled his eyes.
“You were a fuckin’ blast!” Payton’s laugh turned hysterical now. “No one understands you and your needs like I do. No one, can ever out fuck me,” she repeated. “I think you’re just afraid of a real woman, Saint. I was too much for you. I’m an attorney, beautiful, with a brilliant mind and I didn’t take your shit. You couldn’t handle it. You needed someone to worship you, to stroke that ego as much as they stroked that cock. You needed someone weak.”
Saint chuckled and she grimaced. He threw his head back toward the sky then looked down at his watch. “I really do need to be getting home, Payton. As always, it’s been a real displeasure talking to you. Please don’t ever come by here again. What we had ended on bad terms but you’ve proven exactly why I would have never married you in a million years. You’re silly; you lose sex appeal because of that fucked up mouth of yours. You’re desperate and sad. Not to mention, we are two totally different people and always were. We had a strong mutual sexual attraction and that was about the extent of it.”
“Tell me she’s better in bed than me,” Payton taunted.
“You base everything on sex between us because that is all it was. I needed more than a good fuck. I needed a real woman, not one that was only good at screwing. You’re spiteful, too. That’s why you’re divorced now. You married him to get back at me, thinking I’d run and try to get you back. I ended our relationship because I needed to find my Queen, I couldn’t waste any more of our time,” Saint said as he sat down in his car.
“Such strong words from such a fucked up man,” Payton shrieked. “You are a narcissist, Saint. You are out of your fucking mind. You’re obsessed with Black women, pussy and sex, so don’t think you’re better than me; we are cut from the same cloth. I was perfect for you and you know it. You want to believe that you’re better than you are though.”
“Well, if I was so awful, why in the hell are you here pestering me right now? You obviously want something.”
“I can never take away the fact that you were the best lay I ever had, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are still a fucked up person. Your wife is a good girl; you’re a bad boy, that would never work! You’re just like me!” Payton pounded on her own chest with her index finger, her eyes glazed over as rage flowed through her veins and pumped in her heart so fast it seemed like she would burst any moment. “You’re a professional man who is addicted to his own dick. Admit who you are! Your wife, she isn’t even in your league. She’s a pretty face but naïve as hell if she thinks she is the only woman you’ll ever have sex with again. You and I are from a different class of people. Her ass is a rags-to-riches story. You and I are from the real world. I always stake out the competition,” Payton said as she smiled wickedly. “She has no idea what she’s gotten herself into. You’re trying to live a normal life when you aren’t normal! You like to fuck the shit out of the Boss bitches like me, but make love to the tiny weak ones, like her. You love strong women to bone, because you like to break us down and make us submit to your ass because you think you’re a god! You’re a dominator and everything you do is over the top. Nothing strokes your ego more than making a bitch beg. You made me beg you to not leave me but you did anyway and you probably came on yourself as you saw my tears. You like to inflict pain!”
Payton propped his car door open, blocking him from closing it with her narrow hip and thigh.
Saint sighed. “Let me close my door, please. I really need to get home. You are boring the shit of out me.” He put both of his legs inside but Payton didn’t budge. “Payton, don’t make me remove you. You know I don’t want to have to do that,” Saint warned.
Payton smiled. “Oh yes, you do. You liked roughing me up.”
“No, you liked being roughed up,” Saint smirked. “Just because I am a dominator, as you pointed out, doesn’t mean I enjoy hurting people.”
“Oh please! You love to beat up some pussy,” Payton spewed.
“You’re sick,” Saint laughed. “I never wanted to inflict pain on you, I don’t get anything from that, that’s something you wanted and you know when it comes to sex, I aim to please. There’s a difference. I only gave you what you asked me for. You insisted that I do those things, no matter how many alternatives I gave you. You made me reassemble your insides when it was your soul that needed to be revamped. You need agony. The only way you feel alive is if you’re in pain. We went over this in your therapy sessions. You associate pain with love. You have issues, Ms. Smith.” Saint shook his head as he stood back up.
“You’re a punisher. I just let you be yourself,” she remarked, this time her tone calm and subdued. She ran her fingers through his hair.
Saint gave her an icy glare. “Don’t touch me again. This is my last time telling you. My hair, my body, all of me belongs to someone else now, respect that.”
Payton rolled her eyes.
“Payton, I’m not the same man anymore. I just wanted to make you happy, that’s what turned me on, that I was making you happy, or so I thought. I wasn’t really making you happy though, no one can make you happy. I have what makes me happy now though, for a change. She is everything I need and want, and then some. You could never compete with her. She’s good for me, she’s like vitamin C and you’re like kryptonite. I didn’t need someone weak, I needed someone real and spiritually healthy, who accepted me for me, not the idea of me and loved me anyway. She is me, and I am her. There is no competition.” His eyes narrowed on Payton. “You could never compete with her, on your best day.”
Payton rolled her eyes again. “A tiger never changes his stripes, you’re an animal, remember?” she laughed.
“OK,” he sighed. “You obviously need to get some things off your chest but let me just explain something to you since you’re just not getting it, obviously. You and I,” he said, as he darted his finger back and forth between them, “we never made love, we only fucked. I needed more than that.” He placed his hand gently on his chest. “And that wasn’t our only problem, our personalities didn’t mesh and frankly, you’re just not Queen material, at least not for me. You don’t have a clue as to what love even is really. You thought you loved me, but you really didn’t. My life now is just a competition for you, you said so yourself a little while ago. You want to compare who is prettier, smarter, who can fuck the best,” Saint said as he opened a finger for each item listed, counting her insecurities.
“You still just don’t get it. My love isn’t up for grabs. My love isn’t a game or prize to be won,” he continued
, emphasizing each word passionately. “You loved the danger in me. You loved my body and the things I could do to you sexually. You were addicted to the sex, not me. You loved that I didn’t love you, Payton, not in the way that a man should, anyway. I wasn’t in love with you. I never was and you knew it. You only want the men that don’t want you back. Men throw themselves at you.” He regarded her in disgust. “I was the only one that didn’t chase you.” He pointed his hand to his chest then toward her. “And that turned you on, but it turned me off. I told you a long time ago that men are hunters. If I’m not hunting you, my heart isn’t in it, and it never was.” With that, he hoped that he had made his point clear and plain. “I guess this talk was overdue, Payton. I see you have some unresolved feelings toward me. I did care about you though.” He shrugged, spent from a conversation that he never thought he’d have.
“You have a hell of a way of showing it. Tell me, I really want to know Saint. What voodoo did she put on you? How did she get you to commit?” Payton put her hand on her hip and grimaced.
Saint smiled. “None, being herself is the voodoo. I committed to her willingly. She didn’t have to do or say anything, but be herself. I chased her, she didn’t chase me. I hunted her, as it is supposed to be. She makes me feel things that no one else did, or could. I have to have her. As soon as I saw her for the first time, I knew I had to have her all to myself. We have that sort of connection, something you’d know nothing about. That is how she makes me feel. Each time feels like the first time. She got it like that.” Saint smiled. “Yeah, I was a slut. You keep bringing up my past. I do love to fuck and I’m damn good at it, but I also love to make love, and with her, I can actually do both. She’s not a one trick pony. Our love is passionate and continuously growing. It never gets old. I can never get enough of her. She is in my system. She is my air, my blood, she is my everything!” Thoughts of Xenia made Saint pause. He knew how he felt about her but speaking the words aloud to someone else made him emotional. “I can’t even totally explain it but I just know that neither you nor anyone else could ever be her. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to my beautiful Queen and my two bright and handsome Princes. Payton, get some help. I’m no longer your dick layer and slayer nor your counselor; you’ll need to seek someone else,” he finished, sincerely wishing the best for her. “I have a Queen and her crown isn’t up for grabs.”
When Saint Goes Marching In Page 3
