I sighed. Oz was going to kill me. Although, he did send me up here so maybe everything would be okay. Reluctantly, I backed up a few steps and continued to look for Jeremy’s body. I found it sprawled behind a table cover in neatly folded, fine knit jumpers. With a broken coat hanger jutting out of his neck.
“Well, isn’t that exciting?” I mumbled and edged back to keep my bare feet away from the spreading pool of blood.
“I’m not sure ‘exciting’ is the best description.” Tommy spoke from over my shoulder and made me jump.
“Do not sneak up on a gal when she’s hovering over a corpse,” I snapped at him. “It’s poor dead body finding etiquette.”
“You’re standing over a dead body on a barely lit, creepy department floor with numerous places for the killer to hide. You should be more aware of your surroundings.” It wasn’t an actual rebuke but it still felt like one. Especially since he had a point.
“What are you doing here? Is it time to change jobs again?” I couldn’t quite quash the eagerness in my voice.
I’d recently been placed in the Vocational Training Programme, which meant you did every job the afterlife had to offer for a short period of time. Tommy was supposedly the coordinator for that project, but I suspected he was a lot more as well. Like, part of some super-secret police force, since he kept popping up at times like this. And because, in his late fifties, with a kind face and a full head of greying hair, he looked like the most trustworthy person around. You just couldn’t trust people who looked trustworthy.
Tommy laughed. “You don’t like your current assignment?”
“No.” I spoke with exaggerated clarity. I’d been working in Afterlife Arrivals for three days and I was ready for a change. No, desperate for a change.
“It can’t be that bad,” Tommy said.
“It is. And if you’re not here to take me to a different job, why are you here? And where are the police and GBs?” I pointed to Jeremy’s body. “Hello. Dead guy.”
“It’s a livie death. The police have no jurisdiction and the GBs haven’t been notified yet.”
“Not been notified? They’re downstairs. I can notify them.”
Tommy inclined his head. “You could …”
“Wait. If they’ve not been notified how are you here? Is this your job? Your super-secret police job that is so super secret no one even knows about?”
Tommy nodded. “Yes, in addition to being a coordinator with the VTP, I’m also a member of the super-secret police force that is responsible for investigating ghost-induced livie deaths.”
I counted my points off on my fingers. “One: There’s no need for that attitude. Two: Tell me more about this super-secret police force that is responsible for investigating ghost-induced livie deaths.” A livie was what us dead folk called the alive folk.
Tommy gave me an indulgent smile. “I know you know I was kidding.”
I squinted at him, “Do I, though?”
“Bridge, he’s a dead livie. A dead alive person. His alive dead body is the responsibility of the livie police. And his alive death only falls initially under GB jurisdiction because afterlife citizens may have come into contact with him since his alive death occurred during an afterlife excursion. He’ll become the full responsibility of the GBs if a ghost was involved in his death. You know this is nothing to do with me.” Tommy used a cajoling tone, like one you’d use to convince a child that their vegetables tasted extra nice because you made them into a face on their plate.
“Then what are you doing here, Mr VTP coordinator?”
Tommy shrugged and gestured to our surroundings. “Shopping. Same as you.”
“I know that’s not true because girls and boys aren’t allowed to shop at the same time. Apparently, it’s inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate? Like, maybe letting a newly dead ghost run around a department store where people are trying to shop?” Tommy asked, with a nod over my shoulder at Jeremy. “Shouldn’t you hold him until Charon gets here to collect him?”
I turned to see Jeremy tripping over himself to get away from us. Or, more accurately, me. Throwing numerous backward glances my way, he stumbled across the floor, dodging clothing fixtures as he headed for the escalators.
I sighed. “Great.”
Abandoning Tommy and Jeremy’s dead body I tiptoe darted for the escalators. I’d made it down one flight, the metal ridges digging into my bare feet, when I realised I was never going to catch him. Jeremy was already at the bottom of the escalators and had that whole spurred-on-by-terror type of speed going on. And then I realised he was running in the direction of the fitting rooms.
“Guys? Get him!” I yelled to my housemates as I hobbled down the last few stairs.
Everyone at the fitting rooms, including my housemates, turned to stare at me. And then their collective attention jumped to the hysterical man running, full speed, toward them. Pam, Petal and Lucy didn’t ask any questions. They didn’t hesitate. They darted out of the fitting room foyer area and tackled him just as he was sprinting past. Petal and Lucy launched on his back and brought him to the floor with a thud while Pam circled around in front of him, ready to tackle him again in case he were to somehow get free.
“Get off me!” Jeremy bucked, trying to dislodge them. Lucy sat on his lower back while Petal arranged her weight on his shoulders.
Oz caught up with me when I was still several feet away from the bucking dead psychic. “I thought you promised to stay out of trouble not less than two minutes ago.”
“No, I promised not to hurt the mannequins’ feelings.” I pointed at Jeremy as we came to a halt by his feet. “Not a mannequin. I didn’t hurt his feelings. And totally not my fault.”
“My feelings?” Jeremy shrieked, twisting, trying to look at me. “You killed me!”
“How does this keep happening?” Oz asked.
“Hey, you told me to go upstairs,” I said, putting the blame right back on Oz. He gave me a flat stare. Yeah, I hadn’t thought that was going to fly but it’d been worth a shot.
Richards strolled over from the fitting room area. “Salier, why are your wards sitting on this man’s back? And where did he come from?”
“I don’t know yet. Ladies?” Oz beckoned my housemates to him.
“But he might escape,” Petal said.
“What’s going on?” Treble asked, heading toward us from the back of the store, caution in his every move as he took in the scene.
“I don’t know yet,” Richards called back.
“Officer Salier, please remove your wards from this man’s back.” Treble pointed to Petal and Lucy, who were still pinning a suddenly still Jeremy to the ground.
“Hey! What’s going on here?” Another GB approached from the direction of the escalators.
I looked around at the three GBs now surrounding us. “You guys are like buses. None when you need one and then three come at once.”
Treble pointed at me. “That’ll be the attitude you received the warning for.”
I nodded. “Yeah, people don’t seem to like hearing the truth.”
Oz clapped to get everyone’s attention. “Ladies, will you get off this man’s back, please?”
“He could escape, though,” Petal said again.
“What does she mean escape?” Richards asked.
“Is there a problem?” yet another GB shouted from across the floor, waving to us.
“Yeah. You better come over here,” the unnamed GB shouted to the other unnamed GB.
“Four of you? Seriously?” I muttered.
“Enough,” Oz whispered to me before silently beckoning Lucy, Petal and Pam to us. They shuffled away from Jeremy without further complaint.
Jeremy must’ve thought that meant his sprint for freedom was back on the cards because he sprang to his feet and darted forward. Treble stepped in his path. Jeremy darted left but Treble stepped with him.
“Don’t,” Treble warned.
Jeremy ignored him and tried dash past on Treb
le’s other side. One of the unnamed GBs grabbed Jeremy’s flailing arm and, with one hand on his shoulder, bent Jeremy’s arm up his back to restrain him.
“No! No! Let me go! She’s going to kill me. Again! Don’t let her near me!” Jeremy shrieked and wriggled in the GB’s hold. “She killed me! She killed me!”
A low murmur started up at the fitting room. Oz stepped slightly in front of me while ushering Petal, Lucy and Pam behind him.
“Did you kill him?” Treble asked.
“No, she didn’t,” Oz said before I could respond. Which was probably just as well because my response wouldn’t have been so polite.
“Then why is he saying she did?” Richards asked, taking possession of Jeremy from the unnamed GB.
“He died while I was looking at the underwear,” I explained.
“He died? Now? In the store?” Oz asked and I nodded.
“A livie was in the store? He’s a dead livie?” asked Treble, his attention jumping to the fitting room where the murmuring had progressed to high-pitched chatter.
Richards pointed to the two unnamed GBs. “Begin the evacuation process.”
The unnamed GBs nodded. One tunnelled away while the other headed over to the fitting rooms, clapping to get everyone’s attention. “Everyone: Drop everything and find your parole officer. Parole officers: Tunnel to evacuation point A.”
“Not you,” Treble told Oz as everyone else dropped everything and tunnelled. “Collect up your wards. We’re taking you all to the station.”
I turned to Oz but gestured to Jeremy. “He can’t go to the station. I have to take him outside.”
“No!” Jeremy shrieked. “Don’t let her take me! Don’t let her take me!”
“Why?” Oz asked, completely ignoring Jeremy’s protests.
“Calm down. She’s not taking you anywhere,” Treble said to Jeremy and then turned back to Oz. “Collect up your wards, Officer Salier.”
“I have to take him outside,” I said to Oz again. “His transport is waiting.” I wasn’t sure what would happen if Jeremy went to the station instead of to Charon but I was sure I didn’t want to find out. Charon was not a person you wanted as an enemy. I mean, he drove The Bus of Death, for goodness’ sake. And he’d technically made me temporarily responsible for Jeremy.
“Officer Salier—”
“Officer Treble,” Oz interrupted. “I understand that this is a confusing situation but my ward is currently responsible for this man. He is in her care until she hands him off to the next responsible person in this chain of custody. And that’s not you. So you need to let her do her job.”
“And quickly,” I added. Charon wasn’t all that patient either and I did not want to be left with Jeremy while Charon collected his other passengers. Maybe he’d come back for Jeremy today. Maybe he wouldn’t to teach me a lesson about punctuality. Who knew?
“He’s in our custody,” Officer Richards said.
“Okay. You take him to the front of the store. Discuss custody with the person waiting for him.” How did they not remember what happened when someone died? “If he says it’s okay for you to keep Jeremy, then you can keep him. I won’t argue past that.”
“I know you don’t understand but you need to take him,” Oz added. I assumed he could feel my increasing anxiety through our bond. I didn’t want my housemates to see Charon come in and obliterate a couple of GBs. We had enough sleepless nights in our house as it was.
Richards and Treble exchanged a glance. Richards shrugged. “You’re coming with us, Salier. Your wards will wait here for us to get back.”
Oz nodded. “Okay.”
“Wait.” I ran to the cash desk and rooted through the drawers. I found a roll of sale stickers and scribbled a couple of messages on them.
“I thought you said we had to be quick?” Treble asked as I scurried back over.
“You really do,” I said and stuck the three sale stickers on Oz’s chest. He accepted them without protest but pulled his T-shirt out so he could read them upside down. I made a sweeping motion toward the front of the store. “Now you can go.”
Treble frowned at Oz’s chest and read the notes on the stickers aloud. “Bridget likes me. Do not damage me. Bridget will be very upset.”
“Do we need some of those?” Richards asked.
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Stay here. Keep everyone here,” Oz said to me and I nodded.
“What was that about?” Pam asked as Oz, the two GBs and a screaming Jeremy headed for the front of the store.
I shrugged. “Something and nothing.”
“Did you kill that guy, Bridge?” Lucy asked. “I’d understand if you did. He was annoying.”
“No, Lucy,” Petal snapped, putting an arm around my shoulders. “Bridget did not kill that man.”
“Bridget, hon, you can’t keep killing people because life isn’t going your way,” Anna said as she neatly rolled several items and placed them in her bag.
“Bridget hasn’t killed anyone,” Petal repeated.
“Okay, hon, if you say so.” Anna pulled a faux sympathetic face then resumed collecting up all the clothes from around the fitting rooms and neatly stashing them away. Surely, there was no way she was going to be able to keep all that.
“So what happened?” Petal asked, sitting cross-legged in front of me and tugging on my hand to bring me to the floor as well.
“Nothing. I found him upstairs while I was looking for some underwear,” I said as I sat down next to her, pleased that my new outfit had enough give to be able to do that comfortably.
“I never took you for a bunny and duck type of girl,” Lucy said, kneeling next to Petal and plucking the packs of knickers I’d somehow managed to keep hold of from my hands. She waved the flamingo print pack at me. “Ah, now flamingos. I can see you in flamingo print.”
“Do these have the days of the week on?” Pam asked, taking the other pack from Lucy’s hands.
“But there are only five pairs. What do you do on the weekend?” Petal asked.
I gestured to her with an open palm. “That’s what I said.”
“To who?” Lucy asked.
“What?” My brain had briefly returned to the fancy underwear I so nearly had owned.
“That’s what you said to who?” Pam repeated.
“Oh. To … myself.” They didn’t know about my community service. Well, they knew that I had to do it but they didn’t know I was a conductor on The Bus of Death. I didn’t want everyone freaking out and I had some sort of silencing spell-type-deal on it so I couldn’t really talk about it anyway.
Petal smiled at me. “I talk to myself.”
“That’s because you’re simple-minded, hon,” Anna said.
“No one’s talking to you, Anna. Do you know why?” I asked. “Because no one likes you.”
Petal tapped my knee. “That’s not nice, Bridget. And not entirely true. We don’t know Anna that well, yet.”
“I know her fine. I’m fairly sure I’m qualified to say I don’t like her,” I said.
“Now, Bridget, what did I just say?” Petal asked and then called to Anna, who was still rolling up clothes. “Anna, come over here and sit with us.”
“Sitting on the floor is uncouth, hon,” Anna said in an apologetic, but somehow still mean, tone.
“Well, stealing is illegal but you don’t seem to have a problem with that,” I called back. Even though we were technically all stealing.
“We’re trying to be inclusive, stupid. So come over here. Sit on your pile of stolen clothes if you want, but get over here.” Lucy pointed to the empty space next to her.
Anna grumbled but she picked up her two bags of clothes and stalked over to us.
“That goes for you too, Katie …” Pam’s sentence trailed off as she scanned the empty fitting room area. “Where’s Katie?”
“You let the crazy murderer escape and I’m stupid, hon?” Anna huffed at Lucy as she sat down next to us.
“Why can�
�t I just have an easy afterlife,” I mumbled. I was pretty sure Oz had made me unofficially responsible for everyone which meant I was getting the blame for this. “We need to find her.”
“Let’s split up.” Pam suggested.
“That’s the worst idea ever. Don’t you watch horror films?” Lucy asked.
“Lucy, you can check the back of this floor,” Pam directed, ignoring Lucy’s comment. “I’ll take the right, Anna will take the left—”
Anna shook her head. “Oh, no. This isn’t my job. I’m not chasing down a crazed murderer. I’ve just sat down. And, heaven forbid but I agree with Lucy.”
“Help or when Oz comes back we’ll tell him you let Katie escape,” I said.
“Anna will take the left,” Pam repeated in a tone of authority I didn’t think I’d ever heard her use before. Anna pouted and flipped her hair but I was pretty sure she’d do it. “Bridget can check upstairs in case Katie took a fancy to those packet knickers and Petal can stay here in case she comes back.”
Once everyone was back on their feet Pam positioned Petal in the centre of the aisle near the fitting rooms. Petal would be clearly visible from all directions. No one said it was in case Katie tried to jump out and murder Petal again but I think it was clear.
“Why does she get to stay here?” Anna asked, proving that she was incapable of thinking about anyone other than herself for even a moment.
“She has better eyesight so she can call out directions if she sees something,” Pam said.
“Also, she’s more welcoming than you. I wouldn’t come back here if I saw you waiting for me,” I said.
Anna gave me a sympathetic look. “That’s because you’re insecure, hon,”
I turned to Petal. “Why are we trying to be inclusive?”
Pam shushed me and then glanced around our group. “Everyone has their assignments. Let’s get to it.”
I headed to the escalators and tiptoed up them, still in my bare feet. I made it to the top and surveyed the floor. My eyes snagged on the lingerie section. I still needed underwear. And that lacy set had been so pretty. I could look for Katie while picking out a few nice sets for myself. And if Anna was taking two huge carrier bags full of stuff, surely Oz would let me get away with a couple of underwear sets. My need was greater.
Dead and Buried: A Bridget Sway Novel (A Paranormal Ghost Cozy Mystery Series Book 4) Page 3
