by HELEN HARDT
It was time.
I removed my cowboy boots and socks, my jeans, and then my panties.
Several scars marred my vulva. Sprouts of pubic hair had begun to grow in. My dark hair stubbled quickly. I’d considered getting laser hair removal, except the technician would see my scars, and I couldn’t have that.
The middle scar was fresh. I’d burnt myself there a while ago, after I had dinner with Lacey Ward, who was now my brother Rock’s wife.
Lacey was a stranger—a stranger who knew my father. She was his estate attorney and had read the will to us.
She’d seemed so nice, so easy to talk to, so I’d asked her to dinner.
But I chickened out.
When Rock had called her, I told her to have him join us.
I hadn’t been able to divulge my secret to her.
So I left dinner early, went home to my Manhattan high rise, and burned myself.
Then I disappeared.
Again.
I’d been traveling for several days before I found this cabin. Luckily it was available at the last minute. Montana had been my plan all along. That was where Rock had gone.
That was where I’d go.
And I had.
You’re stalling.
That voice inside my head.
I was indeed stalling. Going over shit in my mind that I already knew.
I pushed the cigarette and sucked in a breath as it burned me.
It hurt. It hurt like a mother.
Yet it hurt so fucking good.
The pain. The searing, burning pain.
The pain that made me forget, if only for a few minutes, the pain inside my head. My heart.
My soul.
When the smell of my own flesh burning reached my nose, I removed the cigarette.
The wound was perfectly round.
Just perfect.
A perfectly round burn for perfect Riley Wolfe.
Riley Wolfe, supermodel who was beautiful on the outside but a fucking mess on the inside.
When the wound had cooled, I covered it with antibacterial ointment. I always took care of myself. Couldn’t risk an infection that might spread to someplace visible.
Calmness drifted through me like a soft breeze.
The physical pain removed the emotional.
Oh, it wouldn’t last long, but for these few precious moments, I was whole again.
Whole inside.
Still naked from the waist down, I walked into the kitchen to fix myself something quick for dinner. Burning myself made me hungry for some reason. It always had.
I opened the refrigerator. Matt had stocked me with some fresh fruit and yogurt. Some salad greens and sundried tomatoes.
Normal food fare for me.
I didn’t want any of it.
This was a small town. No one would deliver. At least I didn’t think they would.
That Mexican lunch had spoiled me. I wanted something bready and cheesy.
Pizza.
I wanted an extra-large thick-crust pizza with a double dose of everything on it, even anchovies. Did Sumter Falls have a pizza place? I had no idea, but I could drive into town and find out. I hastily put my panties and jeans back on. Not the cowboy boots, though. Flip-flops would do just fine.
I grabbed my phone and searched…
Bingo!
Rosati’s Pizza on Broad Street in downtown Sumter Falls.
Fredricka would be so damned angry, but I didn’t care an iota.
Pizza, here I come.
16
Matteo
Leena didn’t ask me to do her odd jobs because I was cheaper than the plumber.
I knew it and she knew it.
She wanted me to fuck her.
She’d been coming on to me since she moved here two years ago. She was young and attractive, but not my type. Her arms were covered in tats, which wasn’t my thing. Her hair was cut short and dyed light blond, which also wasn’t my thing. She smoked, which was definitely not my thing.
Still, I would have bedded her. She had a body that wouldn’t quit, after all, and I was human.
The deciding factor? She’d had a one-nighter with Luke shortly after she moved here, and she pretty much stalked him for a couple months afterward.
I wasn’t about to go there.
She’d finally left him alone, but not until he sicked the sheriff on her and scared her shitless.
Leena was fine as someone to do odd jobs for, though. Luke gave me shit about it from time to time. He never set foot in her place for obvious reasons.
“Hey, Mattie,” Leena said through the screen door as I approached. “Come on in.”
I opened the door, let myself in, and knelt down to give her dog a pet. “Hey, Roscoe.”
“Roscoe, leave Mattie alone.”
“You know I don’t mind.”
“Still miss your Herbie?”
“Every day.”
“Time to get another pup, I’d say.”
“I will. Eventually. Herbie was just so young. It’s hard. Losing a dog is hard no matter what, but all my other ones at least had long lives. It’s still too soon.”
Leena approached and patted my cheek. “You’re such a softie.”
Leena was always touchy feely. Normally I didn’t mind so much. She never got anywhere. Today, though, it bothered me. I nudged away and walked toward the kitchen. “Everything ready?”
“Yup. I got all the supplies you requested. Help yourself to a beer in the fridge.”
“No thanks. I’ll take a seltzer, though, if you’ve got it.”
“Yup. Next to the beer.”
I opened her refrigerator, found a lemon-lime seltzer, opened it, and took a long sip. Good stuff.
“Excuse me,” Leena said. “I’ve got to get ready for work.”
“No problem.”
The supplies lay on the counter. I took stock. Looked like she had everything I’d need. Good. I wouldn’t have to get anything from my truck. I kept it stocked for my odd jobs just in case.
The job shouldn’t take more than an hour.
A few minutes later, Leena strode into the kitchen while I was lying supine, my head inside the cupboard under her sink.
Her legs and feet were bare. She was a cocktail waitress at the saloon, not a damned stripper.
“Thought you were getting ready for work,” I said.
“I am.” She squatted down.
She was wearing a black bikini, giving me a bird’s-eye view of her rack.
“Is it beach night at the Stein?” I asked.
She winked. “Nah. I’m actually off tonight. I figured I might scare you away if I came out here in a lace corset and panties.”
“You don’t scare me, Leena.”
“I don’t seem to do much of anything to you.”
“We’ve been through this. You’re not my type.”
“Mattie, you don’t have a type. I’ve seen you with all kinds of women. Skinny, curvy, tall, short, blond, brunette, redhead. Hell, you even dated a woman with a shaved head once.”
She wasn’t wrong. Drea Matthews had been one hot little number. She’d cut off her hair in solidarity with her twin sister who was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. The feel of a bald head during sex had been something else. Drea had been passing through on a run. She was a trucker. We met at the Stein and had a night of amazing sex.
Then we said our goodbyes and never saw each other again. I hadn’t thought of Drea in a long time. I hoped her sister had recovered.
“It’s because of Luke, isn’t it?”
“Leena, do you want me to fix your damned pipe or not?”
She sighed and stood, so only her legs were once again visible. They were pretty decent gams, too.
“All right. Can’t blame a girl for trying. I suppose you have it bad for that new chick.”
“Who might that be?”
“You know, the one who looks like she was born with a silver spoon up her ass? I saw you walking around town
earlier today.”
“Her name’s Riley, and she’s only here for a week.” Or less. We hadn’t exactly left things well.
Damn. It was my fault. I’d pried. I’d pushed.
Whatever she was hiding, she wasn’t ready to talk about it. God knew I understood that sentiment. Why had I pushed so hard?
Fuck.
Because I cared.
I’d known the woman for two days, and I cared about her.
I hadn’t even gotten her into the sack.
“One of your renters, huh?”
“Yeah.” I grabbed a wrench and started loosening the pipe.
“You say I’m not your type,” Leena said. “I’d have bet a million bucks that rich girl isn’t your type.”
“Rich girl?”
“Yeah. She exudes it. That one comes from money.”
I’d had the same thought, of course. No way was she a teacher from Pittsburgh.
But who was she, exactly?
“She’s a teacher from Pittsburgh,” I said, knowing full well I was lying through my teeth.
“Really? Hmm. Didn’t see that coming. I’d have sworn she’s a blue blood.”
“Leena, honey, I’ve got to get this done, okay?”
“Sure, sure. Let me take you to dinner as a thank you.”
“The hundred bucks will be more than enough.”
“Come on, Mattie. I’ll still give you the money. It’s my night off. Let me take you out. As friends.”
“Fine.” A guy had to eat, after all.
I’d wanted to see Riley tonight, but I doubted she’d see me. I’d let her cool off and go see her tomorrow. With a dozen of Kari’s roses this time. And if she threw them on the ground, I’d grab her and kiss her.
“Awesome. I guess I’ll get dressed, then.”
“Unless you want to fly to Florida and eat at a beachfront bar, I’d say that’s a good idea.”
She let out a sarcastic laugh as her legs walked out of my view.
I usually went to dinner with her when I did an odd job. This was nothing new. Luke razzed me for it, but I wasn’t interested, and I made it clear to her every time. We almost always ended up having a good time. Kind of like brother and sister, though I wouldn’t really know, since I was an only child. To her credit, Leena hadn’t gone all stalker on anyone since Luke. We all guessed she’d learned her lesson.
A half hour later, I’d finished the job. I stood, cracked my back, and turned on the faucet to check for leaks.
Good as gold.
Who needed a plumber, anyway?
Leena walked back into the kitchen, this time in ripped jeans, biker boots, and a black tank.
“All good,” I said, turning off the faucet.
“Awesome.” She handed me a crisp Benjamin. “Ready? I feel like pizza tonight.”
17
Riley
Parking was an issue in a small town. You’d think I’d be used to that, coming from New York and all, but in New York I never drove. I had a driver, and on those rare occasions when he was off duty and I needed to get somewhere, I took a cab.
Sumter Falls didn’t have any designated parking areas other than on the side streets. I found a space and walked over a block to get to the pizza place. Not a huge deal, except my flip flops weren’t exactly comfortable.
Why did I own a pair of shoes that wasn’t comfortable?
I should be used to that as well. Some of those stilettos I paraded around in on the runway were lethal weapons, and none of them were comfortable. Discomfort seemed to be a requirement for high fashion.
I thought again of Fredricka and my contract with Dominique in Paris.
Not what I wanted to be thinking about at the moment. Besides, I was leaving in the morning. I’d call Fredricka when I was back in Manhattan and tell her to postpone the shoot in Paris. My father had just died, after all, and I needed to pay my respects.
Yeah, I was good at lying. I could even shed a few tears if I had to.
I opened the wooden door to Rosati’s. The robust aroma of tomato sauce and melted cheese drifted toward me. I inhaled.
Food. Food was good. Dominique might not even want me once they saw how much weight I’d gained on this little excursion.
I didn’t rightfully care at the moment.
How much time had passed since my last pizza?
A year, at least, and probably more.
I walked toward the hostess.
“Good evening,” she said. “Just one for dinner?”
“Yes, just me tonight.”
I didn’t mind eating alone. In fact, I enjoyed it. Problem was that back home, someone always recognized me so I couldn’t enjoy my own company.
Not so in this little town. I’d only met a few people, and what were the chances of any of them being here tonight?
“Right this way,” the hostess said, and then she looked over her shoulder as the door opened again. “Be right with you, Matt.”
Matt?
Couldn’t be. Matt was a fairly common name. Right?
Don’t turn around, Riley. Just don’t.
But I did.
Sure enough, there was Matteo Rossi, his long hair up in a messy blond man bun.
And he wasn’t alone.
A blond woman stood beside him. She was attractive in an unconventional way, and she had a killer body.
Great. Just great. Should I leave? The thought had merit, but I’d be more conspicuous that way.
“Here you go.” The hostess led me to a small table near the back of the restaurant.
“Thank you,” I murmured, taking the menu she handed to me.
“Adriano will be with you in a minute. He’ll be your server.”
“Thanks.” I sat down—in the chair facing the back so I wouldn’t see Matt and his date—and perused the menu.
Out of habit, my gaze went directly to the “healthy options” portion. Rosati’s idea of a healthy option was a thin-crust pizza with no cheese. Just their signature sundried tomato marinara, shredded roast chicken breast, and an array of veggies.
It actually sounded pretty good, but I hadn’t come here for a healthy option. I’d come here for gooey, cheesy pizza.
“Hi there.”
I jerked upward and met the gaze of—
Wow.
My waiter was freaking gorgeous. Short dark hair and dark eyes, he looked like a Mediterranean god.
He smiled, and he was even more dazzling. “I’m Adriano. Do you have any questions about the menu?”
“Nope. It’s pretty clear cut.”
He laughed. “Yeah, it is. Can I get you something to drink?”
“A glass of wine, I think. Do you have a list?”
He laughed again. “We do. It’s a piece of paper with the words red and white on it.”
I joined in his laughter. It was joyful and contagious. “I’ll try the red.” Then I shut my menu. “And please bring me the most ridiculously fattening pizza you have.”
His eyes crinkled. “That’d be our mucho macho. Three meats, extra cheese, and five veggies.”
“Is one of the meats anchovies?” I asked.
“No, of course not.”
“Add anchovies, then.”
He lifted his eyebrows. “Seriously?”
I smiled. “I’m always serious, Adriano.”
“Got it.” He smiled back. “What size? Extra large?”
“I think small will suffice.”
“Our small is twelve inches. It’s a lot with all those toppings. Want to try an eight-inch personal size?”
Not one more pound, Riley, Fredricka’s voice echoed in my head.
“The small. If I can’t finish it, I’ll take it with me.”
“Good enough. I’ll be right back with your wine and a glass of water.”
“Perfect.”
I turned around and watched Adriano’s perfect ass as he walked away. Maybe not quite as perfect as Matt’s, but nearly as hot. Matt’s friend Lucas was great-looking too. Was Sumter
Falls home to only good-looking men?
Shit.
I shouldn’t have turned around to watch Adriano walk away.
My gaze met Matt’s. He was sitting a few tables away with his date.
I turned around quickly and pretended to be engrossed in my phone.
Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here. Except…please come over here.
I’d been horrible to him earlier. Why had I thrown his rose on the ground and stomped on it? So childish, and that rose meant everything to me. I wanted to keep it forever. That was why I’d pressed it in the Stephen King novel.
So he’d pushed me a little. What really upset me was that I was so transparent. My father had taught me so well to hide my emotions, to lie when necessary.
How had Matt seen through it all?
Disappointment swept through me when he didn’t come. If he hadn’t said anything when I looked back and saw him enter, why would he now?
He wouldn’t. I was the one who’d been a bitch. The first move would have to be mine.
No. I was here to eat a disgusting and glorious pizza. After all, I was leaving in the morning. No reason to start something I couldn’t finish.
Besides, he was with another woman…which was slicing into my heart like a serrated steak knife.
That one’s a keeper, Mrs. Carson had said.
Which only meant one thing.
Matt had brought other women to her place. Matt probably screwed every single woman who rented his cabin.
I was definitely better off without him.
Besides…
The thought of sex terrified me…and excited me.
How I longed to experience sex with someone I actually wanted touching me. Someone I felt something other than complete hatred for.
My father.
So many things he’d done to me. Sometimes he even let others watch. But they never touched me. Never touched his princess. Sometimes they begged him to let them, and many times I’d feared he’d allow it.
But he never did.
I suppose I owe him a small bit of gratitude for that.
Fuck. What the hell was I thinking? I owed him nothing. A big fat nothing.
He’d ruined me.
Because of him, I’d never be able to have a real relationship with Matt or anyone else.
