by Pamela Ann
Heatedly spinning on my heels, I almost ran back to the table. Drew was still sitting at the table, but I saw no one. All I saw was red, telling me to get as far the fuck away from him as I could.
“Chloe?” I heard him say with a hint of alarm in his voice.
He saw how distraught I was, but I didn’t care. Purposely ignoring him, I took my clutch and headed for the exit without even checking out my jacket. I didn’t want Drew to catch up with me.
“Chloe! Stop!” Drew called out from behind me just as I was coming down the damn stairs.
Willing myself not to look back, I barely shivered when I reached the pavement and the winter chill hit my bare skin. Adrenaline rushed through me. I felt nothing but the urgent need to escape, and that was what I did.
Almost there, I thought as I yanked one of the cab doors open before sliding into the backseat.
“Pretty dress, but it’s not worthy to catch pneumonia over, missy.” The aged Rastafarian shook his head with disapproval.
“I’ll try to remember that next time, but could you step on it? I’m in a rush,” I rattled on while my heart slammed against my chest.
“Are you in trouble?” The driver frowned at me through the rearview mirror. “ ’Cause I see a man rushing right behind you. Oh, there he is!”
“No. Just drive now, please!” Of all the cabs, I just had to get into one with a nosy driver. Fuck.
And just like that, the other door opened, and in came Drew, huffing like a true motherfucker as he pierced me with daggers in his eyes.
“Do you have a death wish?” he practically screamed in my face.
“I said the same thing,” the driver muttered. “Where am I taking both of you? The hospital? Or to a department store to get a jacket somewhere?”
“Midtown. 49th street,” Drew interjected without taking his eyes off me. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Don’t I get an explanation or something to justify why you ran out of there like some bat-shit crazed woman?”
“It’s over, Drew,” I murmured, gazing out the window as my eyes began to gather tears.
“Hell no, it’s not over. It’s never going to be over!” he savagely declared. “What the fuck happened, Chloe? You were fine when you left for the bathroom. Fuck, baby, help me out here. Help me understand—”
“Oxford happened. Is that enough for you to understand?” My voice shook, not because my tears threatened to spill itself, but because of anger. I wanted to claw his eyes out for being such an asshole.
“Oxford?”
“Yes, Oxford! According to your bitch of a stepmom and Poppy, that’s where you’re heading soon. I don’t see why you’re wasting your time with me when you’re going to leave and reunite with Poppy, anyway. So leave me alone. I don’t want to be near you.”
“Oxford was an option; that much is true. But that was all planned before you and I got together.”
Drew would have me believe anything. He was full of bullshit.
“I don’t care what you do. I just want you to move out the moment we get home.”
“Please don’t do this. You’re being too harsh.” He tried to reach out, but I swatted his hand away.
“Give him a chance. He seems sorry enough,” the driver commented, obviously entertained.
Drew had promised never to hurt me, but by not disclosing his plans, he still had. How much more was he hiding from me, because I doubted this would be the last.
Wiping the tear that fell down my cheek, I shivered, feeling quite cold all of a sudden. Then, out of nowhere, I felt him drape his dinner jacket around me, enveloping my senses with his intoxicating aroma. Had I not been almost freezing, I would have shoved it in his face.
“I’m sorry, Chlo. I just didn’t think it was that relevant since I changed my mind. Why would I wanna go there when I have you back here?” he rasped out, beyond solemn.
Blocking him out wasn’t easy, but I did the best I could. And when the cab arrived right outside the building, I hurried out, leaving Drew to pay for it while I headed straight into the elevator. Once it opened, I frantically pushed the button to get to our floor, but before it had the chance to close its doors, Drew slipped through in the nick of time. Though he had been running after me, he didn’t look displaced. It irritated me to no end that he still looked as though he had just stepped out of a cologne ad, suave and positively polished.
Standing a few feet away from him, I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I didn’t dare meet his gaze. I was completely done with all this useless drama that I’d rather not be a part of.
“Forgive me, Chloe,” he pleaded.
There was no way I would yield back into his arms. I had given him one chance, one fucking chance, and he had fucked it up.
“After you’re done packing, do me a favor and leave your keys, as well,” I stated as the elevator dinged.
After stepping out, I pulled out my key to let us through the door while he followed right behind me. I wanted him gone, and taking the keys would make sure some of my privacy was restored.
“Chloe, please, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us.” He tried to block me from getting through my bedroom door, making me fume even more.
“Move. Out. Of. My. Way.” Or this would get ugly really fast.
He was unmoving. “No, not until you hear me out.” He shifted me toward the corner of the wall, both hands planted on either side of my head as he breathed down on me. “What do you want me to say? Tell me, damn you! Fucking tell me so I can fix this.”
“Nothing. I’m just … done.” Plain and simple.
“I’m not going to allow that to happen, babe. I just got you back. You’re crazy to even think that I’m going to give you up just like that. No! Fuck no!” he roared.
“Let me go,” I whispered, meeting his wild gaze. “That’s the only way I can forgive you.”
Pain crossed his face. “I’d rather die than lose you.”
“You already did, Drew. It’s too late now. You’re never going to stop hurting me. That’s just what you do. I should’ve known better than to trust your word.”
“Don’t say that,” he croaked out before cupping my face with his cold hands. “Baby, please. I fucking love you. I’ve always loved you. Do you want me to get on my knees to ask for forgiveness? Because I will. Just tell me what it’ll take.”
Love? He was pulling out the big lies.
“I don’t feel the same way about you. You killed every trace of it.”
He took a sharp intake of breath, as if I had just hurt him where it hurt the most. “Do you really mean that?”
Fuck. I was dying inside.
“With all of my heart,” I found myself saying as I watched him look as though I had just eviscerated him inside and out.
He dropped his hands to his sides, no longer holding me prisoner, and I stood there, watching him fish out his key ring and unhook the key to the apartment.
“I—” He paused before breathing through his lips. “Marry me.”
“What?” This wasn’t funny anymore.
“Marry me,” he repeated with all seriousness. “You may not love me anymore, and I’ve gotta admit that shit hurts me, but I do love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for as long as I can remember. It’s through this love that I’m finding the strength to keep fighting for you.”
“You’re willing to marry me even though I just told you I don’t love you?”
He grimaced. “I have enough for the both of us, and I can’t help hoping that you’ll someday learn to love me again. I won’t stop until you do.”
I let out a disbelieving laugh through my tears. “You’re just—stop, please.” My hysterics went into a full-fledged panic when I saw him drop to his knee, hands holding my tensed ones as he sought my eyes, imploring.
“But I’m serious, Chloe. Will you marry me?” he beseeched. “I love you. I always have, even though I tried to kill it. It never died, though, and it’ll never stop. You’re my ultimate. It migh
t sound crazy to you, but I don’t want to be with anyone else. None of them shine brighter than you. Why do you think I’ve kept a room here?
“At first, I thought it was just because I wanted to be around Jackson, but before you arrived, I was barely here. Then, when you came, I became so overwhelmed by the drastic changes of your appearance and attitude that we immediately got off on the wrong foot, and it’s been a wild ride since. And I don’t want to get off this rollercoaster ride, baby. I want to ride it until the very end,” he said.
“Drew, I …” I got too choked up to speak as I sniffed and cried some more. Why was he so flipping crazy?
Still on bended knee, he was unwavering, never losing hope. “I’m not leaving until I get an answer. I’ll stay this way until you see me, until you hear me, until you forgive me.”
Damn him for being such a relentless lunatic.
“You don’t have to marry me. We’re fine. I forgive you as long as you promise never to hide anything from me again. No more secrets, or I won’t be able to trust you.”
Drew then got to his feet and began to plant kisses all over my face.
“No more secrets, I promise,” he grunted out. “God, I love you. Are you sure I can’t change your mind about marrying me tomorrow? Because I just didn’t say that out of the blue. I’ve wanted to make you my wife for weeks now, but I never said a thing in fear that I might scare you away.”
“Learn when to shut up and make love to me, Drew Cavendish.” Clinging to him, I melted against him as he kissed my tears away.
He was trying his best, and he didn’t need to marry me to prove that he meant everything he had said. I believed him. I could taste it, feel it, and lastly, I could see it. His eyes told me so.
Chapter 63
School was ending in a few days, and with Jackson planning to stay put in OC for the coming semester, Spencer and company decided to host a going away party at some new, trendy club and somehow managed to drag me with them.
It happened just after I arrived from class, and they were all there in the living room, enjoying a glass of alcohol. Since Drew was with Conrad at a business dinner, I decided to go along. But before I went to change, I texted Drew to tell him that I would be with Jackson and Spencer, explaining what was going on.
Drew immediately replied.
Be safe, please. Don’t trust Spencer or any guy except your brother. I’m heading home after this. Wake me up when you get back. Love you.
Gah, he was so cute.
After typing back my response, I went into my bedroom to change.
I’ll see you in a few. Miss you.
Half an hour later, I was ready to go and party. Half of my enthusiasm was from the fact that Drew trusted me enough to let me go party with Spencer, though he hated the guy. Spencer was harmless … to me, anyway. Apart from his cocky arrogance sometimes, he was bearable.
When we arrived at the club, it was packed for a Wednesday night, and it took quite some time before we reached our reserved tables with the pre-ordered drinks readily displayed. None of them were to my fancy, so I excused myself to get my own drink of Jack and Coke at the bar and also a short reprieve from Spencer eyeballing my breasts whenever Jackson wasn’t around to see him. Not only that, but despite my brother announcing to everyone that I was now dating Drew, Spencer still attempted to tease me into kissing him to make Drew jealous. There was some odd rivalry between them.
The bar was difficult to get through, and when I did, it was chaos. After ordering my drink, a group of six men enveloped me as they yelled their orders, hoping the bartender would cater to them first.
Reverting my eyes back to where the table was located, I let out a sigh when I saw Spencer flirting with someone else. True, he was harmless, but he could also draining to deal with. I was just rolling my eyes as I cocked my head back toward the bar when I saw my drink siting right before me.
Grabbing it, I took a refreshing sip and tried to catch one of the bartenders’ attention so I could pay for it. Then someone called out that they would pay for it if as long as I just left so they could get their order in. The rude man, whom I couldn’t see because of the dim lighting and the traffic around the bar, thought it was my fault that it was crazy busy.
Muttering something colorful, I left without a backward glance. Then I was trying to cross the swarm of people to get across the room when, for some odd reason, I started to feel funny.
I stopped, pausing to refocus, but the more I tried, the worse the dizziness became. Then, all of a sudden, my heart began to pound. Not the normal, exhilarated kind of pounding, but the kind where you thought you were having a heart attack. And when I began getting double vision, I knew I had been drugged.
I tried to focus on how far away my brother was, but with all the people, I couldn’t tell. I ended up in the bathroom, immediately confining myself inside one of the newly vacated stalls where I pulled out my phone and dialed Drew.
“Baby, I’m still at dinner—”
“I can’t breathe. I feel like my heart is about to explode.” Huffing air into my lungs felt like it took all the effort out of me.
“Chloe, stay put. I’m coming to you, okay?” The alarm in his voice couldn’t be mistaken. “I’m running out of here with Everson. We’ll come get you.”
“Hurry,” I whispered, feeling the muscles around my mouth begin to feel numb.
“Listen to me; don’t hang up. Baby, are you there?” In the background, I could tell Drew had just gotten into the car as he spoke to Everson. It seemed, too, that he was locating me through that app he had insisted that I download so he knew exactly where I was.
“Chloe!” he yelled into the phone.
I heard him—of course I did—but I couldn’t speak. Instead, I grumbled a sound before I felt the device slip from my fingers and crash onto the floor. Before everything turned black, I remembered thinking that the app, which I had cursed to no end, could just be my lifeline.
Feeling like I had a boulder sitting on my body, my ears perked up from the sounds of rushing then his voice, constantly speaking to me, reassuring me that we were on our way to the hospital. Then it all went dark again.
I woke up to the sound of Drew yelling at Jackson just as I heard the doctor and nurses trying to calm him down. By the sound of it, Drew was going off without any filter. Then I fell back into the bleak blankness of my mind.
I woke up again in my bedroom with the most excruciating headache I had ever experienced, and my body felt as though it had gone through a wringer and then back again. It took some time for me to focus, and when I did, a sigh of relief came out of my lips as I spotted Jackson sitting on one of the chairs right across me, crestfallen as he looked up when I called out to him.
“Chlo? Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what was going on until Drew called me from the hospital.”
It wasn’t his fault.
“It’s okay. I should’ve been more careful. It’s not your fault, so don’t blame yourself. It’s the last thing I’d want you to do, Jacks.”
“But it’s my responsibility to watch out for you—”
“I’m a grown woman. I should’ve been wise enough to see where my drink came from.” Looking around the room, I realized Drew wasn’t there. “Where is he?”
“He went into his room so he wouldn’t rip me apart with his bare hands,” Jackson stated.
“Is he okay?”
He shook his head. “I think it triggered his mom’s death. You should’ve seen him, Chlo … He almost brought the hospital down with his anger. They threatened to kick him out if he didn’t contain himself.”
“Jesus.” That didn’t sound good.
“Seeing you might settle him, though,” Jackson suggested as he got up. “Can I get you anything to drink? Eat?”
I just wanted Drew.
Shaking my head, I gave him a wan smile. “I’m okay. You’re free from being my watchdog. Thank you, though.”
He gave me a hug before kissing the side of m
y head. “I love you, booger face.”
“I love you, too, Jacks.” Hugging him back, I realized my brother was trying to suppress just how terrified he was that I had been harmed.
Before we parted, I told him again not to blame himself. I didn’t think it had any effect on him, though.
Even though I was parched, I knew I had to see Drew before anything else. After softly knocking on his door, I waited a moment before letting myself inside. The only light in the room was coming through the floor-to-ceiling window where the man I loved stood, staring out in deep thought.
“Do you know how it felt to feel your lifeless body?” he broke the silence without glancing backward.
How had he known it was me who had entered his room?
I slowly went over to him then wrapped my arms around his torso from behind. “I’m sorry.” His body was so tense all I could do was hold him more tightly.
“Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m cursed to always lose the women I love. You almost died, Chloe. You almost fucking died in my arms … had I not gotten you to the hospital.” He was so traumatized I felt his body shake a little.
“I’m here. I’m alive.” Kissing the back of his neck, I rested my nose against his skin, breathing him in. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You were almost taken away from me. I had to relive that nightmare when I found her dead and lifeless … I thought you were next.” There was a catch to his voice, as if he were back there again.
Releasing my hold on him, I forced him to face me, and when he did, I wasn’t surprised to find him almost in tears.
“Look at me,” I urged, and he gradually did, bearing those haunted eyes from when I had consoled him after his mother’s death. “You haven’t lost me, babe. All I can do is apologize for putting you through hell in the past twenty-four hours. I can only imagine what it’s been like for you, but it’s over now. Everything turned out fine. I’m fine. But it seems that you’re not, and I won’t be able to forgive myself if I brought you back to that dark place again.”
Holding my head with his hands, he brought my forehead to his lips then gazed at me with stormy eyes. “Don’t ever scare me like that ever again. Promise me, Chloe. Promise me that you won’t put yourself in harm’s way.”
