by Pamela Ann
I balked at the thought as I broke into the throng of people, pushing my way into the house. The second I got through the door, I wasn’t surprised to see a full house.
Try as I might, I scoured the crowd for her familiar face and figure, but she was nowhere in sight. Deciding to follow the flow of the crowd, which led me towards the back end of the house that faced the beach, I found myself in a converted communal room turned into a dance floor. And that’s when I found her … atop a circular dining table, dancing in a form-fitting white dress that left little to a man’s imagination.
Each curve was on display as men surrounded her, glancing up in awe and with lust-filled eyes, admiring each curve was flaunted for their eyes’ pleasure.
I saw red. I saw white. I saw her.
All of her.
I had known she had a lovely figure. She was trim and had a well-toned body that garnered everyone’s attention. It also exposed how much time and effort she most likely invested in the gym or some sort of outdoor activities.
God help me, but this ought to be one hell of a long night.
My body went hot as my blood boiled with each second that passed watching her seductively swaying as she danced to the beat. She was hypnotizing to watch, but sense left me as I furiously streamed towards her, ready to bring hell on earth.
“Get your bloody arse down from that godforsaken table, or I’ll fucking do it myself,” I threatened, almost screeching at the top of my lungs, past caring what others thought.
“Cruz!” Serena paused, momentarily shocked to see me. The second it registered how angry I was, her smile gradually turned to a frown. “Okay, gosh. There’s no need to cause a scene.”
I wasn’t the least bit amused. All I knew was how royally ticked off I was. I didn’t care if it made sense to me, to her, or for the people amongst us. All I knew was that I didn’t want men looking at her as if she was a dessert ready to be devoured. I wanted to shield her, protect her, and at the same time, strangle her for being so reckless. My emotions were getting the best of me, and I was having a perilous time harnessing them back in their cage.
The second she got down from the table, Serena wearily eyed me then leaned closer with a cute pout on her succulent lips. “I was just dancing. There’s no harm in that, is there?”
Yes, there was. She was harming my sanity, my entire existence, and I wasn’t sure how to address it.
“You were flaunting your body while men ogled and fantasized about fucking you senseless.” That had not come out the way I had wanted it to, but bloody hell, the woman was driving me mental. Literally. Unequivocally.
“Exactly. What’s the harm in that? You act as if I committed a crime.” She was standing her ground, a trait I respected most especially since not a lot of people tried to argue with me. As much as I admired her vigor, however, I couldn’t shake off the potent jealousy that possessed me upon seeing her dancing for such a rabid, hungry audience.
“You were inviting trouble, Serena,” I replied. “What if one of those men had decided they had to have you to themselves, even though you protested? You could’ve been raped or something even more dreadful.”
All amusement vanished from her face. “Your imagination is colorful. No wonder you’re the way you are.”
I’d had high hopes she would see my point, but I was taken aback by her derogatory remark.
“And what is that exactly, Serena?”
It seemed she had already made up her mind about me, and I admitted it stung a little.
“You’re boring,” she said, obviously feeling justified. “You don’t know how to have fun. You’re always so serious about everything. You’re so wound up that you don’t ever let yourself loose.”
I gritted my teeth as I squashed down the urge to wrench her against my body and kiss her senselessly just to shut her up.
“Displaying utmost concern for your well-being deems me a boring person?” She and I would never see eye-to-eye; therefore, there was no point in indulging ourselves with more argument. Sending her a steady gaze, I took a moment to study her face. “Well, that bloody well sums it up, doesn’t it? I’ll wait outside. If you’re not there in five minutes, don’t bother coming out.”
She opened her mouth just as I spun around and left her there, flummoxed at my treatment of her. I had the utmost respect for women, but whenever Serena was concerned, she drove me to a place where my mental capacity was nil and the emotional drive too high to see much else.
Emerging from the insufferable house, I ignored the jovially drunk crowd as I purposely sought the confines of my car. I pulled my keys out of my pocket, and I had just disengaged my alarm when I felt someone push from behind, instantly making me face my pseudo attacker.
“God, you’re so infuriating, Cruz!” Serena screeched at the top of her lungs, her cheeks red and her vivid green jewels wildly glittering at me. “You drive me fucking crazy!”
I drove her crazy? Seriously? Huh.
“This is bloody mental,” I muttered, not meaning to engage in a full-blown fight with her. She seemed as though she was ready to have a bloody showdown, and I wasn’t going to bait her.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I just don’t fucking get you! One minute, you were all over me, and then the next, you treat me like shit. And the most shocking thing of all is you’re fucking engaged! Is this what you do, toy around with women’s minds just for the hell of it? ’Cause let me tell you, it’s just plain cruel.”
Bloody. Fucking. Hell. And back.
“I might have this random case of selective amnesia because I don’t seem to recall ever toying with you.” No matter how much I tried to squelch the need to disengage from the escalating fight, she was making it too hard. She knew what buttons to push.
Gritting my teeth, I groaned loudly as I tried not to capture how enticingly beautiful she looked. God, what the fuck am I going to do with her?
“You know what? Forget you.”
She looked wild, intense, and utterly breathtaking when impassioned, but I simply couldn’t. I had given my promise to Ivy, and it was best I remember that solemn promise that signified the ring she had on.
Peeling my eyes away from her, I muttered, “Suit yourself,” before opening the car door, willing to leave this damning place.
“Asshole,” she spat back with fire and so much more.
“Don’t tempt me, Serena. It’s already late, you’re sloshed, and I don’t have an ounce of patience to deal with any of this.” I meant it. She was too dangerous to be around because I was a hairsbreadth away from wanting to break the promise I had given to Ivy and indulge in this intense feeling Serena evoked in me.
“Tempt you? Tempt you to do what?” She was little miss devil incarnate, yet she hadn’t a clue how much she affected me and pretty much all the men around her.
She petrified me, I admitted, but I wasn’t ready to give up. No. It wasn’t going to be easy to keep her at arm’s length, but it must be done.
“Nothing. You don’t tempt me at all, not specifically in that department.” I knew it was going to put a dent in her confidence, but she had to stop goading me into a fight … and everything else.
My response hit a raw nerve. I could see it in her face, though the fire in her eyes didn’t ebb. In fact, it had a reverse effect; it glowed more brightly.
Closing the gap between us, her body almost touched my chest before she took a deep breath and raised her chin to meet me in the eye, ready to test my limits. “So if I strip naked and throw myself at you, you’d decline me, Cruz?”
“Certainly,” I said effortlessly. The image she painted already had my cock aching, but I wasn’t going to let my dick rule me into submission.
“I’m not going to lie. That hurt very much …” She made a small nod, as if comforting herself. “But I’m consoling myself with the thought that you’d probably be a lazy bore-fest in the sack, anyway, so yay me.”
My nostrils flared, but I admired myself for not allowing her jabs t
o affect me. I could do this. She was simply a woman. Though I was attracted to her, at the end of the day, she was simply … a woman.
“All right, Serena. Now that we’ve settled the disputes, can we move along? I still have a company to run in the morning, in case that significant bit escaped your drunken mind.”
“Whatever,” she huffed out before she rounded to the other side of the car then opened the door and slid inside, slamming the door.
Turning the ignition, I didn’t immediately drive off as expected. I could feel immense tension radiating off her, which made me contemplate if I should apologize. Then I argued that, by doing so, she might mistake my gesture as encouragement. Therefore, I was left with few options. It was a delicate situation, and I wasn’t sure how to go about it anymore.
“Serena—”
“Don’t. Just don’t.” She said it in a way that told me that she was done with me, that it was better to leave it be, suspended just like we were, leaving me in a confused state of mind.
Explosive sexual chemistry, one that wasn’t explored, was a bloody bitch to a man’s sanity.
Chapter 75
Cruz
T
he drive back to my mother’s house was filled with unspoken words and profound tension. I could hear her think, her frustrations radiating off her in waves, while I suffered in the same manner, half-hoping someone had the wit to break the intensity. However, I knew the person who should be trying to ease the situation was me. Discussing anything in a confined space after that explosive fight would not be wise, though. It was best I wait until we arrived at my mother’s. Hopefully, she and I would have calmed down by then.
Instead of pondering the fight back in Brighton, I diverted my thoughts to how to approach her and how delicate my words should be. Apologies were unknown to me, yet I felt inclined to do so with her.
The second we turned into my mother’s driveway, I turned to her.
“I just want to apologize about my off-handed comments earlier,” I began in a resigned tone, nothing too aggressive or accusing, but my good intentions were put to the test.
She unbuckled her seatbelt before glaring at me. “Which part are you apologizing for; the one where you said I have the sex appeal of a broomstick or the part where you said I was a tease and inviting someone to rape me because of the way I dressed?”
“Bloody fuck.” I knew I had said all of those things—well, not in the way she delivered it, but all technicalities aside, the end meaning was the same. “I’m sorry if I offended you—truly, I am, most particularly about the temptation reference.”
“Okay. If you say so.” She shrugged, like she wasn’t willing to discuss anything further.
“Could you at least try meeting me halfway here, Serena? I’m trying to make this situation less unsavory than it already is.”
Her cheeks flamed crimson. Looking flustered, she glanced at me heatedly. “I am meeting you halfway! What the hell? I get it—I do—but you were being honest. There’s no need to apologize for not finding someone appealing, so there’s no need for this conversation at all.”
It was the biggest lie of all, yet I couldn’t find my voice to undo the damage. In my mind, I believed that, with her thinking I found her unappealing, it would discourage her attraction to me, which in turn, would be beneficial to everyone involved, me most especially.
There was an overwhelming need to console her, comfort her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. As a result, we simply stared at each other while my inner turmoil waged on, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. Before I could say another word, however, she decided to shuffle out of the car then slammed it shut before hastily striding towards the front door as if the hounds of Hell were upon her heels.
Something significant snapped inside of me while I followed her.
“Serena, wait!” I called out, hoping she would give me a moment to apologize, to make amends.
Chest heaving, she spun and faced me. “If you have more to say about how unattractive you find me, I can guarantee you there’s no need for that. I assure you I got the message pretty loud and clear.”
She looked like an injured kitten, and it was killing me that I couldn’t comfort her. I just couldn’t, or so help me God, I wouldn’t be responsible for what happened.
“I’m sorry … I truly am.” The broken words echoed in my heart.
Glassy eyed, she gazed at me with sadness and wonderment. “You … affect me so much it leaves me breathless.” She sniffed. “How can I feel this … kind of pull, this electricity with another man, yet it seems as though he doesn’t feel the least bit affected?” she wondered aloud, expecting me to answer the question that had haunted me since that day I found her in her bedroom.
“Serena …” I whispered, not truly knowing what to say. I simply couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to. I chose not to.
She shook her head, denying what was and what wasn’t. “When I kissed you, I knew you felt it. You looked as if you did. You did feel it, didn’t you?”
A word would be too much. Confirming her suspicions would be suicide on my part. Silence was golden.
“But you kissed me back …” she whispered brokenly.
That sole kiss was confirmation enough. Control where Serena was concerned was out of the question. She had this uncanny ability to make me into an undisciplined, uncontrollable fool, and I couldn’t have that. It was petrifying. Still, I knew I had to say something to ease her mind since I was to blame for this entire thing and not her.
“I did … and I will regret that for the rest of my life. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you sooner.” Because, if I had met her before I had committed myself to Ivy, I would have chosen Serena in a heartbeat. It wouldn’t even be a question at all. It might be too much to admit, but this connection, this uncontrollable attraction to her was something I hadn’t experienced with anyone, so yes, choosing her would have been a given. “But that’s all it’ll ever be with us, Serena. I know this might not make sense to you now, but you’re better off with someone who’s your age, someone free who could give you whatever your heart wishes. That man cannot and will not be me.”
“I know …”
Closing the gap between us, I reached out to cup her face before lifting it so her gaze met mine. I wanted to memorize her beautiful, flashing green eyes and to also remember how closely I had been to seeing how it felt to have someone reach into your soul without reason, without explanation. I would always remember Serena this way, even though I would admire her from afar.
“You should live and enjoy life. You’re young and free. I beg of you not to wrap your mind around what might or might not have been.” My voice trembled as emotions ran through me. I let my eyes roam her beguiling beauty for the last time before I softly kissed her forehead, as if she was the most precious thing this world had to offer. She very well could be, for me at least.
Ignoring the tightening of my chest, I tried to make a reassuring smile. I couldn’t shake away the feeling that I was throwing away something that could’ve been special had I given the time to nurture it.
Mirroring the same smile I had bestowed on her, Serena gently detached herself from me. “Goodbye, Cruz.”
I merely nodded, unable to trust myself to utter a damn word. I let her words hang in the air, sounding as if it were a simple good-bye, though it indicated so much more than that. It was as if she was saying it with finality, as though she was releasing the man who could have been with her.
I stared after her, half-wanting to chase her and apologize, and the other side felt as though this was the wisest thing to be done since it had gotten out of control. We were working together, and I simply could not let this temptation derail me from my main goal, my ultimate purpose.
Never had I experienced anything like this, even though nothing really had happened between us except for that one kiss. Who would have thought a mere kiss could wreak havoc in my life? It was all over now.
Working along
side Serena Woods would be a hellish ordeal, but it was one I had to learn how to master. God help me because, if I couldn’t, it would be a bloody disaster. I would have to take all the required precautions to remind myself how closely I was to throwing everything away for a girl who made me feel like I was on the verge of a free fall.
I wasn’t aware of how long I stood there, staring at the front door after Serena had gone inside. Maybe it was exhaustion or madness, but I had to move along, or someone would see me and wonder if I had lost my mind. I took one long breath before retreating back into my vehicle and driving myself back to my own place.
The moment I entered my house, instead of going into my bedroom, I sought the bar where I drank until I was numb within, until I could no longer imagine her tearstained face.
When I kissed you … I knew you felt it. You looked as if you did. You did feel it, didn’t you?
Her words haunted me so much I barely slept a wink. It didn’t help my cause that the dress she’d had on filled my mind all night.
How I managed to restrain myself and not push her against the car and have my wicked way with her left me speechless. Functioning around her without noting how my cock painfully ached was a feat. It was no wonder I was always furious with her. The woman simply made my cock ache like no other in my life. Not even Ivy could elicit such lascivious thoughts.
“Serena,” I hissed out, “how you fuck with my bloody mind.”
Chapter 76
I
t was expected that Cruz would do everything in his power to avoid me. Even when I wheeled in his refreshments, he was engaged in a call or conveniently in the bathroom, anything really so he didn’t have to speak to me. As much as it hurt me, I was also grateful he made it easier to work in his presence. After a week, I had gotten used to it. Well, up until I met his fiancée, Ivy, in the flesh.
