by Pamela Ann
“Cruz, no. Stop.” When he didn’t seem to hear me, I used all my might to push him off me. “This has to end,” I cried out, trembling from the intensity of our earth-shattering encounter. “Stop messing with my mind and let me be!”
He was roughly heaving, looking devastated, like what could have happened if I hadn’t stopped it had just dawned on him.
“I apologize … I don’t know what came over me. I hoped I didn’t frighten you,” he murmured, despondent.
Frightened? Far from it.
“I’m fine, but we can’t—I can’t, Cruz. You’re engaged, so this will turn out badly. We both know it will, so let’s stop it here, right now. We have to promise this will never, ever happen again.”
His head dipped, inching closer to my face until I felt the tip of his nose brush against my cheek, caressing. “You confuse me,” he whispered, evidently tortured by this whole situation. “I want to kiss you again, but I’m afraid you’re going to hate me for it.”
Never had I wanted another man like I craved him.
“No more. No more.”
“Serena, whatever you decide to do”—his lips brushed against the side of my ear, breathing me in—“promise me you’re not going to do anything drastic.”
“Why should I do that, Cruz?” God, I wanted him, though I knew I must fight it. Even if it was hurting me, I must keep on fighting.
“Because I’m having a hard time,” he muttered. “It’s been hellish.” He paused before seeking my eyes, penetrating into my soul, my heart. “You’re all I think about, even when I’m with her.”
The very mention of her was enough. There was nothing left to be said. As much as it pained me to walk away, I did just that, but before I did, I pled with him for the last time.
“Please, I don’t want to hear any of this. Whatever this is, it’s over and done with.”
And this time, I was going to stick to my guns. If my relationship with Aaron had taught me anything, it was the horrible feeling of being cheated on, and I wasn’t going to do that to another woman. If Cruz was confused, he had to deal with it. I didn’t want to be a part of that, not anymore.
In the beginning, it was hard to grapple with the situation because he hadn’t divulged that he was engaged. I felt as though he had led me, distracting me with the butterflies and rainbows he painted before me. Since then, I had been battling this push and pull between us. However, it was time to end this. I couldn’t take it anymore. My conscience wasn’t a willing participant, and my heart wasn’t a willing hostage.
Chapter 78
T
he next day, back in the office, I was stunned to find an elaborate flower arrangement sitting on my desk with a note enclosed in a cream envelope. Naturally, I was more curious at the note than the beautiful blooms before me, so with a shaky hand, I began to open it, holding my breath as I did so.
Forgive me for wanting something I gravely wish was mine.
There was no name, no signature anywhere, so I wasn’t sure where it had come from. Was it from Cruz? Archer maybe? Jesus, who would send something this pretty and not say whom it came from? It doubled the frustration and stress.
Mind you, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my working hours wondering whom it came from. After my tumultuous exchange with Cruz last night, I barely thought of Archer to be honest. I was drowned by my own misery too much to even think about if the guy had waited for me or not. Well, even if I had, it didn’t matter. I was in no way, shape, or form ready to be good company after I had scrambled to get away from Cruz.
Taking a deep breath, I was telling myself there were bigger things to worry about when my phone rang, alarming me. Getting ahold of my bearings, I cleared my throat before taking the call.
“Mr. Cruz Elliot’s office. This is Serena; how may I assist you?”
“Serena,” the man said from the other line. There was no doubt in my mind who it was. There was only one man in the world who said my name the way he did.
Nervously biting my lip, I tried to calm the fuck down before breathing out, “Yes?”
“I need you in my office if you have a moment.” He commanded.
Nodding, I immediately told him that I would be in right away before placing the phone back on its cradle.
For a moment, I contemplated if I should head to the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable. Then I realized there was no point. Being self-conscious around him after last night … Well, it was useless. Therefore, I simply shrugged and made my way towards Cruz’s office.
I had barely even begun to knock when I was surprised to find Cruz opening the door for me.
“Serena,” he said in a tone that seemed a little on edge, which was odd.
Not wanting to dwell on his bizarre attitude, I carefully glanced at him, keeping myself at a safe distance. The tension between us was even more apparent than before, and it was disconcerting and slightly intimidating because I had no idea what would happen next.
“You needed me for something?” I breathed out, anxious to immediately leave, yet I couldn’t help staring at him as if I was a starved, lovesick puppy.
He studied me a while, lingering on my face, eyes, then my lips before he snapped back to reality.
“How’s your day going so far?” he casually asked, as if we were the best of friends.
His bizarre attitude left me on eggshells, but since he was my boss, I knew I had to answer him in a respectful manner.
“It’s been … well.”
“That’s brilliant.” He nodded, still staring at me, as if he had something to get off his chest. “Are you doing something tonight?” he questioned, catching me off guard.
“Why do you ask?” I treaded carefully, knowing very well this could get messy yet again. After last night, the last thing I needed was to engage in another heated argument with him.
“I was hoping I could take you out for dinner …”
Damn, he was willing to go there. Did we need to have this type of discussion on a daily basis? It was fucking exhausting. Fuck. I was ready to wave the white flag and just surrender, but I couldn’t shake the thought of Ivy away. Besides, I wasn’t that woman. It was all or nothing for me, not some half-ass anything. Not even for Cruz, the man who starred nightly in my dreams … and nightmares.
“Cruz, whatever this is you’re trying to do—”
“I can’t get you out of my mind, Serena. You’re all I think about. I’m truly going mental.” He ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair before blowing out a breath, seeming tortured as his metallic eyes penetrated into my heart, into the very depths of my soul.
No … NO! He couldn’t. He just fucking couldn’t!
“Cruz—”
“I’ve never felt this way before. I’m beyond confounded. I need to figure this out without any guilt. I’m thinking of breaking things off with Ivy. I can’t keep lying to her, least of all to myself,” he confessed, giving me a glimpse of the troubled man underneath the cool, collected, and calm persona he projected to the rest of the world.
“No!” I shrieked. “Don’t do that. I’m not going to have someone’s unhappiness on my hands.”
His confession beyond panicked me, so much so that I was ready to spout whatever lies I had to in order to sway his belief. I knew it was wrong, and I had already made up my mind where he was concerned. I couldn’t backtrack now. I had to see it through until the very end.
Hiding the pain in my heart, I sought his eyes, hoping he would see there was nothing special between us. “Besides, I don’t like you like that. I mean, it was fine before, you know. It was fun, but it meant nothing.”
Discernibly, he was offended by my rational reasoning.
“So it was just a game to you, then?” he hissed in pure disbelief.
My heart thudded so loudly it rang in my ears. I knew I was in uncharted territory, but I had already pulled the trigger, and it had shot through his skin, resulting in his wounded pride. There was no going back after this.
&nb
sp; As calmly as I could, I murmured, “Sort of, yeah.” Although it hurt me to say such horrible lies, I felt as if it was justified, as if his momentary pain would eventually be for a good cause for everyone involved.
He observed everything that crossed my eyes, my face. “Why do I get the feeling you’re lying to me, Serena?”
I was guilty. I knew it; he knew it, but I would never admit to it. If I had to stick to my lies and appear to be the biggest liar of all, then so be it.
Standing my ground, I barely blinked as I prepared myself to keep lying through my teeth. “Think what you like, but if you don’t have anything work-related for me, it’s best I go. Good day, Mr. Elliot,” I huffed out before sending him one last look. Then I spun on my heels and exited his office with fake bravado.
My body shook as I strutted back towards my desk. However, before I could even warm my seat, my phone beeped, indicating a message from Archer Elliot.
“Damn it,” I muttered under my breath, feeling as though I couldn’t catch a break from these brothers.
Unlocking my phone, I tapped on the text.
Can you be my date tomorrow night?
I was surprised he didn’t sound pissed off since I hadn’t sought him out after I left Cruz in the basement. Truth be told, I was such a wreck afterwards that I took a sleeping pill and decided to sleep the rest of the night away.
What’s happening tomorrow night?
It’s my mother’s birthday. No one informed you?
I wouldn’t have asked if I had known. Besides, I had been avoiding the people around the house, even the lovely Anne, because I felt too ashamed for keeping a secret from all of them where Cruz was concerned.
Tapping my reply, I took a steady breath before hitting send.
No, not really.
My phone beeped in less than a minute.
So is that a yes? Maybe? I’m not settling for no. I’m kind of a nice asshole like that.
His reply made me grin. Unlike Cruz, who seemed to have a sexy fixation with his brooding, which was so fucking sexy and suited him…
God. I had to stop thinking about him before he decided to break off his engagement with Ivy. This was the best route to go. It wasn’t as if Archer was a second choice. He was just harmless fun.
Yes, asshole. It’s a yes.
My choice was made. There was no going back. After all, it was his mother’s birthday. How bad could this turn out?
Chapter 79
M
ay I come in?” Archer asked as he softly knocked on the door. I was just about done applying the finishing touches to my dramatic, smoky make-up.
“You may,” I called back. “But I’m not one hundred percent done, so sit back and wait, yeah?”
I could hear him laugh gruffly in the background before I kicked the door to my bathroom shut, not willing to risk him peeking through before I was fully done.
It took me another five minutes to finish up because my mascara took a while to dry. A minute might not be too much, but when you were counting down each second, it could feel like forever. My hair was already in a loose bun, and I only had to insert pins into my hair to keep it in place.
“I just need my shoes. Then I’m set to rock and roll!” I happily announced as finished hiding in the bathroom.
My stiletto heels were already sitting atop one of the two delicate-looking settee chairs, so I tiptoed my way towards it before giving a smile at Archer. He had taken the liberty of lounging in my bed with his head against my headboard and his shoes on my newly made-up bed, looking like a bored model in GQ with his elegantly expensive, custom-made tux.
“Look at you. You just waltzed in here as if it’s your domain.”
He threw me one of those lazy smiles that was similar to Cruz’s. These brothers and their toe-curling smiles … sigh. Of course, the older brother had it down to a T.
“That dress and everything underneath it is definitely my domain, love,” he rasped out, his eyes conveying what he wanted to do with this dress and my body.
“Right,” I said awkwardly as I reached for my shoes, trying to hide the rosy cheeks that crept up from his intensive stare. Once the stilettos were strapped and secured, I glanced over to where His Lazy Highness was lounging, hoping we could get a move on. “I’m ready if you are.”
“I’d rather spend the rest of my time with this excellent view. Alas, duty calls.” He exhaled a breath before getting to his feet and pasting on a dashing smile. “Miss Serena Woods, will you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you tonight?”
Typical Archer. He was charming; I had to give him that much. The guys sure knew how to make a woman swoon.
With my arm tucked in Archer’s, we both made our way downstairs as he enthusiastically murmured his coping skills for boring events, as he nicely stated, of pulling pranks with grouchy relatives. That way, his targets could easily forgive him since they were family and all.
The grand home was exceptional, but in the hands of a party decorating team, it had evolved into an extraordinary work of art. The room was full of pink flowers, silver candles, and beaded crystals everywhere. Flowers in all shapes and sizes, as long as they were pink, were there, and the fragrance added to the amazing setting. I had never seen anything like it.
“As you can tell, my mother adores pink flowers. Cruz tends to spoil her to her heart’s content,” Archer whispered in my ear as the uniformed waiter paused to hand us champagne-filled flutes.
My smile immediately vanished when I felt a prickly feeling that he was at a close distance from me. And lo and behold, when I carefully peeked to my left, the man was right there, sending daggers at me as he strode towards us.
“Serena,” Cruz greeted in a stale manner, blatantly ignoring the fact that his brother was standing right beside me.
“Cruz,” I quipped back with a careful smile before swallowing whatever pride I had left. “Where’s Ivy?” It was obvious given how darkly he looked at me that he wasn’t willing to be the mature one between us, so I felt obligated to direct our conversation towards the very reason he should begin to straighten out his act.
“You met Ivy?” Archer, who didn’t seem to mind being ignored by his sibling, raised his brow towards me, optimistically curious with his eyes bright and teasing.
His emphasis on the word met honed it home for me that Cruz wasn’t an available man; thus making me feel good that I had taken the initiative to cut whatever it was budding between us before it had even had the chance to blossom.
Clearing my throat, I glimpsed at Archer with a pleasant smile. “Yeah, at his office. She seems very nice.”
“Who’s nice?” Margery joined in on our cozy group, directing me her question. She was dressed in her golden-beaded regalia.
Blushing, I tried not to melt at the heavy weight of Cruz’s enigmatic, mercurial stare. “Ivy. She dropped by at the office the other day.” My small, deficient voice made me inwardly cringe.
“Isn’t she lovely, dear?” Margery whimsically said as she lightly touched her delicate coiffed hair, radiantly smiling. “Oh, I do wish Cruz would hurry and marry the woman already. They haven’t set a date yet,” she informed us with apparent disappointment. “No wedding date means no grandchildren.”
Archer seemed to rejoice in his brother’s compromising position. “Yes, dear brother, when can we expect such an event?” He decided to goad him even more by smiling smugly.
Their love/hate relationship somehow made me cherish the one I had with my sister. Our parents would seriously disown us if we ever treated each other this way, but it seemed that Margery was used to their sibling banter.
“This isn’t the time nor the appropriate place to discuss such delicate matters. If you’ll excuse me, I have people to speak to,” Cruz immediately excused himself.
.
Margery then followed Cruz’s lead and decided to mingle amongst her friends, and not really knowing anyone around here, I decided to stay close to Archer since he seemed to be the best
person to hang around. Cruz, I realized, was nowhere in sight. I comforted myself with the fact that he was probably waiting on Ivy to arrive. I just hoped to God I wouldn’t make a fool of myself like I had when I first met her. There was also this small voice in the back of my mind, hoping I wouldn’t hurt as much as I had during that first encounter.
When the early night sky completely fell into darkness, the house turned aglow with candlelight, as did the gardens. It was wonderfully set up to give the attendees a sense of intimate coziness that brought out the love and romance in the air. It was evident there was a certain aspect about this party that signified her late husband, Edward, perhaps because something about it reminded me so much of the beautiful secret garden he had specifically made for her. Seeing how Margery was tonight, though sadness was still apparent in her eyes, I could tell she was beginning to learn how to survive without her husband. I had never seen her in such great spirits.
It must be tough to learn how to live day by day, knowing your significant other, the man you had vowed to love for the rest of your life, was no longer there with you. Getting my heart crushed by Aaron had been traumatizing enough; I couldn’t imagine what I would feel if my husband died. I would probably go the same route as Cruz had described that night about people dying of heartbreak. I would be one of those victims; I just knew it.
Archer excused himself to speak privately when he received a call from someone. Left to my own devices, I decided to explore and mingle.
Nursing a glass of red wine, I strolled around the room, smiling at strangers as I took in the happy vibe. I was in great mood when drawn towards the outside patio that led towards the vast gardens where a pianist was playing a superb rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight” by good ol’ Frank Sinatra.
“You seem like you’re having such a grand time.” A familiar voice spoke right behind me, taking me by surprise, and I gasped loudly enough for the people around us to notice.
I had no need to look back to check who it was, knowing for a fact that it was him by the scent and the presence he radiated. Taking a moment to myself, I bit down on my lip, wondering when he would stop giving me semi-heart attacks. Each time he was near, I never failed to get intense palpitations. Not to mention, I got nervous, started mumbling, and became a sweaty idiot at best. And since I was on the fence with Cruz, I knew I had to play it cool—nothing too rash, nothing too abrasive, just a little something that would keep him at bay without showing him too much emotion or the inner mayhem I was going through.
