by Shirley Hunt
I was still at the desk when Blake came in. I felt him put his strong hands on my shoulders and I knew he was smiling despite my not yet looking up at him.
“Anything exciting?” He asked and bent over to kiss the back of my head.
“Here are my plans! Care to read them?” I asked.
“How about tomorrow? Tonight is for the two of us.”
Part Four
Chapter One
As honey moons do end and plans were beginning it was time to get down to business. It did feel a bit of a pity that the honey moon had ended. Blake and I did enjoy our time when we were enjoying and experiencing our time together.
It was really a pity that that wonderful time had ended and now it was back to hard work at our plans. Dad always did say anything worth having or doing was worth working hard for.
Days before I had spent time in the well-lit dining room with written out plans. To one side of me had been the ones that had been reviewed and the non-reviewed on the other side. At first I wondered how Blake was able to do this and keep his mind? It was hard at first but I had remembered being told to start at one part and slowly work my way across the work.
Between planning for the program to help the kids real life decided to get in the way. It was good at doing that when one least expected it.
Lucky for us it wasn’t someone from the past trying to wreak havoc and mayhem. I think Blake and I both had enough of that in the past and probably even enough to last into the future as well.
It did seem, however, that someone in the family was causing it. Or more accurately put, someone soon to be in the family.
I stared at the home pregnancy test with wide eyes. Two pink lines stretched out across that white oval as clear as day. At first it appeared to be just one line until the second came into view. It was then I was thinking I should have gotten one that had clear text about what my current state was. The first test I had ignored and rejected thinking I had been given a false positive. There were or even are plenty of conditions that could create these.I didn’t think it was disease that could have created the signs.
In the very beginning I had feelings of nausea and vomiting. After a few days I felt fine, and blamed it on a case of the flu that had been going around. It seemed everyone Blake and I knew lately was busy bent over and hugging a toilet while paying their homage to the porcelain altar.
So far I had been lucky enough to be able to escape it. I had gotten my flu shot and washed my hands after each activity and it really helped cut down on the amount of times I got sick. Yet all that protection wasn’t a guarantee that I would be able to escape the flu. It’s a good thing to remember and get into the habit of kiddos!
Now I stood in the bathroom, still in my night clothes, and staring at a pregnancy test. Truth be told, I never imagined it would turn out that way. Really, I didn’t! I suppose I always had that romanticized idea that I would be learning about the baby at the doctor’s office or through some other setting.
Mom had called me her “love goblin” because of how active I was when she was expecting me. She later said that I would have a baby just like me.
I think it was time I owed her an apology.
It certainly wasn’t the most romantic way to take Blake that I was now pregnant but it was time. He should know and it was about time I needed my mother’s advice on what to do and what to expect.
I really didn’t want to become one of those helicopter parents that researched every little detail about what would be happening to my body, but I sure did want to know about it. I had the feeling my sister might be most interested in what was going on as I was the first of the two of us to get married let alone have a child.
When should I even tell them? Mom didn’t tell the rest of the family until she was in the second trimester as she had been told doing so sooner could cause harm to the baby. I had no idea if it was true or not or if it were even a religious thing that she had been told. Still, I wondered what she would think if I told her ahead of time? I certainly couldn’t lie and end up having one of the longest human pregnancies on record!
The first thing to do would be to tell Blake.
I was going to do so had he no rushed past me.
“Clear the way! I’m gonna—”
It didn’t take long to realize what was happening and what he was about to do. I stepped aside very quickly to avoid him and stepped out of the bathroom. Even when sick people still deserved their dignity.
I did suppose the news could wait as I wasn’t completely sure that I was truly expecting. I should at least see the doctor first as home testing kits could be wrong. I wasn’t sure why I was being so paranoid about it. What reason did I have to be paranoid about?
Once I had news one way or another I’d see about telling Blake the news.
“Are you alright?” I asked Blake.
“I’ll be fine once this passes,” Blake replied. “I’ll get something to eat and drink when I’m feeling better. I’m hoping to be able to keep something or another down.”
“I’ll get some lemon-lime soda for you,” I offered.
“Thank you,” Blake moaned lightly.
I went out to the kitchen and found a bottle of unopened soda. I had also noticed a can ginger ale next to it. I had decided maybe I should have the ginger ale and would let Blake have some soda.
Reaching out I pulled two cups from the cabinet and placed them on the counter. I didn’t bother pouring any soda out for Blake but would wait for him to meander on out to come and get it.
I had decided to drink the ginger ale and made myself a mental note to see the doctor. The sooner I knew if I was expecting the better I could prepare and tell everyone the news.
Chapter Two
Even being married and starting up that program I still had some work to do at Blake’s job. I still largely held the same position I had done so prior to my marriage to Blake it was still work that needed to be done.
At least today it was mostly making copies and putting them in certain piles for the next meeting. It was simple work that reminded me back when I worked my way through the college. It’s funny how things seemed to take you back to old jobs and old lives.
It was a standard paper copy machine which at first did surprise me. With as much money as Blake’s company had it was kind of odd that they used a standard copy machine. In the past I had expected to find them to be a color copy machine or something with all these unique features to it. Yet, I knew sometimes old things were just as good as the new ones. It went down to “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.”
I took the first sheet of paper and pushed a few buttons on how many copies that I would need.
The copy machine hummed to life and began to spit out papers at an alarming rate. It was sometimes amazing how fast they could churn out copies.
Between copies being made I went out and got a chair to sit on.
It certainly was easy to get bored while waiting for all of these copies to be made.
I had debated calling Blake to see how he was feeling. He had called in and announced the plans for the day. At least I only had to work half a day today.
I would be able to go schedule that doctor appointment to get blood drawn to learn about if I was indeed expecting or not.
Expecting.
Pregnant.
Those words would take some getting used to.
I knew that I could have children and even wanted them at one time. For all that I wanted them it was a surprise to think that I was indeed due to have one.
Things were certainly going to change for Blake and me. Then there was the question of how were children going to affect the company? I was certain we could make things work between home and work life but how would we do it?
The copier finished so I had to put in a new sheet of paper to be copied. As that piece copied away I put the sheets together in an organized state that I had picked up in college. I did learn a lot of handy things back in college which I was grateful for.
More copies later I was ready to go home and ready to call the doctor for an appointment.
“Doctor Smith’s office,” the voice on the other end said.
“Hello, this is Amanda, I need to make an appointment for a pregnancy test.”
“Blood test?” The receptionist asked.
“I’d prefer that,” I said. Repeating what happened this morning was not entirely on my to do list.
“Can you come in tomorrow morning? We do lab work tomorrow between the hours of eight and ten in the morning.”
“Sounds great, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you. See you tomorrow! Bye.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and returned to my home. I was glad to be home and happy to see my husband again.
Blake was feeling better as he was playing one of those classic video games. He was sitting cross legged on the floor as he looked up at the screen.I knew the position well as I had spent many times in that same position myself in the past and even into the present.
The first time I saw Blake struggling to beat a level I had laughed saying with all his money that he was playing with older toys. Blake had shrugged my teasing off and challenged me to one of those old Super Mario games.
I had laughed again when I beat him at each level. It was a game that my sister and I had played often when we were children on an old Super Nintendo play station. I think we played that game all summer until we had practically mastered each level.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked.
“A lot better. It must have worked its way out of my system,” Blake replied.
“Good,” I said, but did not kiss him. I was afraid of getting sick as it was easy to spread germs. As I could be expecting I certainly did not want to get sick. This was both for me and for the possible baby.
Blake looked up at me, “Care to try?”
“I can show you how to do the game,” I teased.
Blake snickered, “Very well. Show me how it’s done.”
“What level are you on?”
“Six.”
I moved around so I could sit down on the couch near Blake and took the controller.
“Watch and learn,” I teased him.
Blake smirked and watched.
Before long I suppose we had reverted back to our younger selves as soon there were shouts of where to jump and what to avoid while doing this game.
“Jump! Jump! That ugly thing is coming to you!” Blake announced.
Pushing a green button I had done so and passed that particular enemy.
During the game I began to think if having a gaming set inside the building for the after school program would be a good idea? Video games were act fast, think fast game, which required you to make snap decisions.
Kids often wanted to be the hero in their games and sometimes even in life. Maybe something heroic like that would also be a good way to encourage them and teach them they can be more than what they originally thought.
It would be something I’d have to discuss with Blake.
Chapter Three
I never did like needles. Well, I didn’t like to see them going into or coming out of my arm to be more precise. It didn’t help that I wasn’t an easy stick. Dad had veins like ropes that the nurses loved. I, however, was more like Mom with my veins being harder to find. I would have been quite happy to have lived with those rope like veins.
Last time, when I had to have blood drawn, I called the nurse a “tick” which made her laugh. She had responded that she thought about dressing in vampire get up each day that she had to draw blood from patients instead of her usual bright pink scrubs. She did have a flare for the bright colors, I had to admit that.
Getting blood drawn was not as a dramatic or long lasting experience that I had expected it to be. I suppose I had gotten lucky and was an easy stick this time. Either that or the possible baby didn’t want to be sitting and waiting for such a long time. I know I sure didn’t.
Blake had felt well enough to go to work today. In the back of my mind I did wonder if I would be called someone today to bring him back home. Blake was stubborn that way. He didn’t always get the “man flu” but rather he would try to punch his way through it. He was a lot like my dad that way. It must be a man thing or at least something carried on the “Y” chromosome.
Once free from the doctor’s office I had decided to stay home and close to the phone in case I received a call to pick up my ill husband or a message from the doctor’s office. In the back of my mind I knew it was too soon to hear back from the doctor’s office but it was still in the back of my mind.
Yet, I wondered why I was so nervous about this? I had no reason to be. Maybe it was hormones that were making me feel this way.
First the threat of illness and how my hormones were trying to kill me. There had to be a book about this somewhere!
As I didn’t have to go in for work that day and Blake was probably at his meeting I sat down in front of the TV and began to play a video game. It was an older game and the graphics were clearly dated but it was still fun to play from time to time. You couldn’t date fun or the enjoyment of an old game.
I suppose my parents did have those old gaming set somewhere inside their homes. Maybe something like that could be fun for the kids to play? It would certainly be more family friendly than the modern and sometimes bloody games where heads are ripped off and bodies ripped to shreds.
While escaping from a dungeon and getting ready to rescue the princess I began to wonder about things. In the game I was clearly the hero and with it came the hero complex.
Was I being the same way by organizing this after school program and building for the kids was I also being a hero and running the risk of having the hero complex pushed upon me? I didn’t mind the spot light or standing in it but this wasn’t about or for me. So where did this leave me?
I wanted to help the kids because they needed help. Doing this would keep them off the streets, maybe even feed them, and help them do better. If the kids felt someone believed in them and thought they could succeed it could help them. If no one believed in them then why should they try themselves?
I had been fortunate in that my parents mostly believed that my sister and I could do anything. Of course we had our arguments and debates with our parents but what kids didn’t? Our parents had questioned some of our career positions and I had even gotten the “Are you sure?” question when I announced I wanted to work at a college. Beforehand my parents had always assumed I would’ve been a teacher. Even I thought I’d be a teacher for young children until I reached college and had a whole new world open to me. Before I had known how important higher education was but being there myself it made me think.
This was for the kids and I wanted to make sure that it stayed that way. I was certainly not trying to get fame and glory and I wanted to make sure that it stayed that way. I wanted a hand in helping and maintaining this but I didn’t want the attention that went along with it. Did this make me a walking contradiction?
After rescuing the princess in the game there was a great celebration in the video game world. Wouldn’t it be weird if real life was like that? Everything you did was soon recognized with fireworks and a great scene?
Imagine finding your pencil and suddenly fireworks and celebrations everywhere!
The hero of the game made a gesture that looked more like he was flipping me the bird than a sign of victory. Either the game makers totally missed that or they were not aware of how the gesture could be viewed.
I suppose my parents did know why my sister and I would start giggling each time that gesture was made on screen. They probably saw it themselves. Either out of amusement, or if they didn’t feel like saying anything, it was never brought up to us.
I still couldn’t be completely sure but I think I once caught Dad making the same gesture at the screen when the hero flashed it to him first.
Chapter Four
Time passed and life re
sumed to normal until the doctor called. I didn’t think it was the doctor who was going to call as it was so late so I let Blake get the phone.
“Hello?” I heard Blake say. “Yes, she’s here. Amanda, it’s for you!”
