by Massey, Beth
Mary took a sip of tea before she finished her rendition. “Mr Darcy, I gave you the long explanation. The short answer to your question is, yes, Jane would like to be mistress of Netherfield. She would like to have the love and life she once envisioned. However, I do not believe her affection for Mr Bingley required his purchase of Netherfield. We are all worried for her because she no longer thinks love possible… she has lost… hope.”
After a brief pause while all three sipped their tea. Mr Darcy spoke with an air of reflection. “Mrs Collins, thank you for helping one who has often been called naive and witless to understand. As a man, I have never considered the life of women… living at home, quiet, confined, waiting for love to be offered. From a very young age, I have always had pursuits, or business of some sort or other, to take me out into the world.” His eyes scanned the titles of some of Mr Collins books hoping for some enlightenment as he formulated his next words. “Once my mother died, my view of marriage became merely a duty that civilized society required of me. However, one day I went to the theatre, and since then, because of the other sister you pray for, I have been in a six-year state of confusion.” He wished he could confess the depravity of his own guilt but decided no. The thought of how Mr Collins might react if he learned the truth about his lusting after Miss Elizabeth while married to another stayed his tongue. Besides, he had a wrong to right. “I hope I am not too late to save your oldest sister from my dastardly family. Would you ask Miss Elizabeth if I could see Miss Bennet’s letter? I need to know the particulars of what is happening to her so I can devise a plan.”
Mary agreed to his request. Promising she would be back to comfort Elizabeth soon, she asked and was granted the right to peruse Jane’s letters. She did not tell her of Mr Darcy’s desire to see them, but only of her need. Once Mary was back in Mr Darcy’s presence, she read the relevant passages to him.
Darcy, still looking as pale as when they arrived home, stood and said to his hosts, “I must speak with my cousin and my sister, so I will take my leave. Thank you both for helping me find my way through this wasteland of prejudice I have avoided for so long.”
46 LOVESICK BLUES
Fitzwilliam Darcy found his cousin in the library at Rosings. He stormed into the room declaring, “Richard, I need your help.”
Richard Fitzwilliam had never seen Darcy so agitated. He was ashen and shaking. Unable to tell whether the emotion exhibited was an extreme form of sadness, anger or something different, he studied his cousin. The Colonel was reminded of soldiers’ faces when they realized they were mortally wounded. There was always a mixture of vulnerability, shock, and an inability to comprehend what was happening to them reflected in their faces. Darcy had that and something else… He looked guilty.
Richard poured each of them a glass of brandy, and encouraged his cousin to sit and drink before he began talking. They sat in silence for at least ten minutes. Darcy started to speak several times, but stopped as though he was trying to find the best way to proceed. Finally the words just started to tumble out. The Colonel let him talk, although at times he was unsure what he meant, but he felt it was not the time to ask for clarification.
“We are a family of monsters, and I am no exception—a hypocrite who, as you pointed out, looks down on Wickham and thinks him beneath my contempt. But, we now both know Edmund is much more heinous. My abominable pride kept me from seeing the truth, and in my denial, I blamed an innocent young woman and publicly labelled her a fortune hunter. And now Lady Catherine continues this travesty by telling Elizabeth she will pollute Pemberley—if through her arts and allurements she lures me into marriage.”
The Colonel noticed that statement seemed to cause his cousin to pause and reflect before he spoke again. In the interim, he turned his head toward the window and twisted the ring on his pinkie. Finally he began again.
“Our aunt has proclaimed she heard from her nephew, the Viscount Wolfbridge, of Miss Elizabeth’s low and vulgar ways.” He spat out the accusation as though it was filth in his mouth, “According to your brother, she accepted twenty thousand pounds in agreement not to force the scion of one of the most illustrious families in England into a loveless marriage.”
Darcy took a breath and then resumed in a subdued voice. “I asked her to marry me today, and I was soundly rejected. I had the audacity to pursue my proposal, even though she pleaded with me to cease. Besides calling her a fortune hunter, I recently persuaded Bingley her sister is one as well. She had not known for sure of my role until you revealed the knowledge to her this morning.”
Darcy put his head in his hands for a few minutes. He sounded defeated when he resumed speaking. “I realize now that I have loved her since the beginning of our acquaintance, but everything was so complicated. Once she demanded money, I had an excuse for blaming her rather than trying to make sense of what I felt. It was proper that I never acted on my feelings as long as Anne was alive, but the disdain with which I treated Elizabeth was wrong. The first time I saw her, I was ‘mesmerized.’ As Elizabeth likes to remind me, the concept of animal magnetism has been hotly debated…”
A hollow laugh punctuated his off-topic musing. “I was introduced to her at a performance of The Tempest, and though barely fifteen, she was the most intriguing being I had ever met. It was as though I was seeing Shakespeare’s most optimistic character offstage. She seemed to take pleasure in every new experience her ‘brave new world’ had to offer.” The dreaded image of her looking like Romney’s haunted Miranda caused him to cease his reverie for a minute as he banished it from his mind. “Edmund was not the only one who was captured by the vision that was Elizabeth Bennet that night. Oh, and Richard, the first time ever I talked with her—her eyes sparkled as we discussed all manner of subjects.”
His cousin almost looked feverish as he rushed to explain all the things they had talked about that evening. Richard decided it was still best to let him purge himself of all these repressed memories before he tried to knock some sense into his lovesick cousin.
“She felt Moliere captured human hypocrisy with biting satire.” Darcy abruptly stopped speaking. After several seconds, he snorted with laughter. “We talked of similar things the night Bethany was born. I believe she was trying to tell me something, but I was too daft to understand.”
A picture of his daughter and her mother halted his hilarity. “When she kissed Bethany’s fingers for the last time, I thought her more beautiful than any painting of the Madonna I had ever seen. Even before I knew how truly precious Bethany was, I knew the depth of her sacrifice.”
Darcy took a deep breath and looked out into space. “The day of the picnic, Lady Catherine observed me admiring Elizabeth’s bosom and that prompted her attack. I fear I have given everyone the impression that is all I care for—but I esteem so much more about her. For example, I admire the care and understanding she has shown my sister. I, on the other hand, have broken her sister’s heart.”
Richard observed his cousin’s face change once again to a look of exaggerated passion. The words that went with this expression were an intolerable combination of ardour and sentimental drivel. He hoped it was Darcy’s last charge.
“Elizabeth also believes my admiration is purely for her body and that frightens her. She still has nightmares of your brother’s cruelty. Edmund wanted to witness Elizabeth’s pain and humiliate her. I want the chance to fill her heart with joy. The only woman I have ever loved finds my touch abhorrent and believes there is not a single member of our family who has any honour or integrity—except Georgiana—and possibly you. With all the examples she has of my stupid pride and all her legitimate prejudices against our family—my love is doomed!”
Richard rolled his eyes at his cousin’s bathos. “Darce, snap out of it. You forget with whom you are talking. England is lucky you were not a second son and forced to make the military your career. I see you making a fiery speech and then surrendering at the first shot.”
“But, I was just…”
&n
bsp; “You were just what… wallowing in self-pity? She is not dead, nor is she married. You at least have hope! Get off your bloody arse and make a plan to win her. Can you fix this thing with Bingley and her sister?”
“I could have a month ago, but it has gotten much worse. Miss Bennet rebuked Bingley at a ball. Since she refused to dance with him, she had to sit down for the rest of the evening. Lord and Lady Hastings introduced her to the Earl of Elderton and the Viscount Wolfbridge. She found both of them quite handsome and charming, and was invited to visit Elderton House on Wednesday.”
“So go to London and prevent her from attending. Will she know you have her best interest at heart?”
“No, I am of the opinion she knows that I, along with his sisters, persuaded Bingley to abandon her. Please, Richard, I need your help with this.” With that admission, Darcy stood and began to pace. The movement seemed to promote more productive thoughts. “You and Georgiana should take Miss Elizabeth in my carriage to London tomorrow. Mrs Annesley is at Darcy House awaiting Georgiana’s return. The three of you can accompany Miss Elizabeth to your parents’ house on Wednesday and ensure nothing untoward happens to either her or Miss Bennet.” He stopped to poke the fire rather violently. “Have the carriage return immediately after you arrive, and I will leave for London on Wednesday morning with Bethany and Lewis. It would not do for the children to know something is wrong. I heard a story today that has made me cautious of alarming them, and I particularly want to protect them from knowing anything is troubling Miss Elizabeth.” He gestured with the poker as he concluded. “The longer I can keep Lady Catherine from realizing something is afoot, the better. Allow me to smooth over any ruffled feathers she may have after you and Georgiana depart. That should lessen any suspicions she may have.”
Richard was pleased that his verbal slap had returned his cousin to the appearance of sense. “Why not just suggest Miss Elizabeth write a letter to her sister, warning her? You could send one of Rosing’s stable hands with the letter. It would arrive in time.”
“I thought of that, but I am not certain Miss Bennet would do as her sister says. According to her letters, she is acting in a very reckless manner. I fear her judgment might be impaired by her despair. I am writing to both Bingley and Sir Gareth Hughes to alert them to the danger. Sir Gareth has, I believe, become attached to Lady Hastings’ niece, Miss Rebecca Trent. Lord and Lady Hastings are sponsoring Miss Bennet and their niece for the Season this year.”
Darcy seemed to be contemplating what to say next. Richard waited patiently until his cousin spoke. “I have not told you, but I fear your father more than Edmund. Miss Bennet is the most beautiful, tall, statuesque young woman with fair hair and blue eyes I have ever seen—just his type. In her vulnerable state, I fear the Earl could have her settled in a love nest before she even realized to what she had agreed.”
Darcy said firmly, “I plan to confess my treachery to Bingley, but Miss Bennet’s cut might have made him change his mind about her. I pray telling him of her danger will motivate him to forgive her slight.” Darcy laughed at his cousin’s dubious expression. “The mission is to protect Miss Bennet, and I will use every avenue available to accomplish my goal. Have I caused you to have second thoughts about my abilities as a military leader?”
Richard joined his cousin’s mirth with a guffaw of his own. “You are tolerable, Cuz. If you are ever able to persuade Miss Elizabeth to marry you, after making such a mess of your proposal—I will personally recommend you to Wellington.”
“I am not hopeful. Ever since I made a ‘mess,’ as you say, of my proposal, I have been thinking of obstacles. However, for the time being, I will approach this war one battle at a time. Believe me, cousin, if she ever does agree, I will take her home to Pemberley, and Wellington and his war be damned. Will you help, Richard?”
“I will, Darcy; and please know, I want you to win this war.”
“Thank you, but I must be off to see my sister. I want beg her to play a role. Though, I must first talk to her about Dr Wilder. Elizabeth is angry that I have meddled in what she thinks is a budding romance between the two.”
“I think I am the source of her knowledge in that matter as well. I told her you required Georgiana to come to Kent in February to put distance between her and a man you deemed too old.”
Darcy shook his head, but his resolve did not seem to waver. “Is there anything else you have told her to discredit me?”
“I told her you pouted because you did not win the role of the Indian Changeling in the midsummer picnic pageant. It seems she has seen you wear the face I imitated. She laughed.”
Hilarity erupted between the two cousins. Though Darcy’s laughter had an edge of despair, he refused to slip back into morose helplessness. Instead, he decided to entertain Richard and lifted the back of his hand to his forehead in a theatrical attitude of anguish as he said, “Oh, mercy, mercy me. I am most assuredly doomed.”
Darcy arranged to have trays sent to his sister’s sitting room for dinner. He would dine privately with her, and ask her about her feelings for Dr Wilder. He found her in the nursery with Bethany and Lewis.
Bethany spoke first. “Papa, where have you been all day? We missed you.”
Lewis was not laughing as he said, “Miss Lizzy is ill. She did not come to visit. Will you take me to see her so I can make her better?”
“Lew, I saw her. She is already somewhat improved. She has to go to London tomorrow with Richard and Aunt Georgie, and we are going the following day. We will see her there. She may even be staying at our house when we arrive. If she stays with us, she will be able to tuck you in bed. Would you like that?”
“Oh, yes, Papa. Bethie is right. If you marry Miss Lizzy, she will be my mama, and then she could tuck me in every night.”
Darcy tried not to let his children see the pain Lewis’ statement had evoked. “Aunt Georgie and I are going to eat supper in her room. We have to discuss leaving Rosings. Millie will get you ready for bed, and I will be in to read to you once I have finished eating. Does my plan meet with your approval?”
In chorus they said, “Oh, yes, Papa.”
Once he and Georgiana were in her room, he told her all that had happened and explained his need for her to go to London. She put her arms around her brother and he cried into her shoulder. His pain was reminiscent of hers last summer. For the first time in her life, she felt they were equals, and the thirteen-year age difference evaporated.
After eating, Darcy knew he had to ask Georgiana about Dr Wilder. He had enjoyed their closeness and her sympathy when he told her of his disastrous proposal and all Elizabeth had hurled at him. All, that is, except her accusation of trying to separate Georgiana from her friend Jamie.
“Georgiana, are you in love with Dr Wilder?”
Georgiana realized that Elizabeth must have also accused him of interference with regards Dr Wilder—much akin to what he had done with Mr Bingley and her sister. She wished Lizzy could heal enough to accept her brother. They were well suited—and Bethany and Lewis deserved to have this woman as their mother.
“I am not prepared to answer yes or no, but what I do know is that I want to make that decision on my own. At first I thought the tragedy of Ramsgate was my inability to discern who loves me and who just wants my fortune. For several months, I replayed all that had transpired between Wickham and myself. The exercise allowed me to hear the discrepancies and falsehoods. It is true, I was too naive when I first heard them. I have learned well from my experience with Wickham, and will never make that mistake again. For me, the real casualty of Ramsgate is that you lost confidence in me.”
Georgiana smiled at her brother. “That was the biggest obstacle I had to overcome in order to heal. Elizabeth saw that immediately. She knew I was not pining because of Wickham’s betrayal, but for the loss of your trust. I know not whether you have confidence in my ability to discern true affection, but I do know that you should. My feelings for Dr Wilder… Jamie… are that I admire and r
espect him. We have many interests in common… the first being music.”
She stared steadfastly into her brother’s eyes. “Until you separated us, I was spending my time getting to know him, something you probably should have done with Elizabeth. I am not ready to call what I feel for Jamie love, but I think it possible.”
47 STAR CROSSED LOVERS
Elizabeth arose before dawn, dressed quickly, and quietly left the parsonage. She had not bothered to put up her hair, and wore no bonnet; instead she had wrapped herself in a warm shawl over her pelisse. She walked to the grove, and was surprised that Mr Darcy was already there. He had brought a blanket for her to drape over her lap for warmth, and a thick crockery jug of tea with milk and sugar—the way she liked it. He handed her a mug of tea and sat down next to her on the log.
