by Massey, Beth
Jane and Thomas Trent’s sister shared a glance filled with melancholy, until Becky once again injected humour into the confidences shared among friends. “So Janey, are you hoping he goes bald soon, in the furtherance of regaining the full enjoyment of your childhood fixation.”
The entire group laughed, and Jane, once she was able to speak, replied, “No, I quite like his angelic curls, and hope to enjoy them for years to come, but if and when they do thin, I will have the curvature of his scalp as compensation.” Jane’s eyes sparkled and a mischievous grin stole across her face. “Since I had been so forward in asking to touch his head, he felt emboldened and asked if he could kiss me. I agreed, but was unsure what to do. It was quite enjoyable, and I am eagerly anticipating the next time. I have been thinking of little else than appropriate responses since it happened.”
The other young women first expressed astonishment at her willingness to share such an intimate event with them, but the next moment found them bursting into giggles at the thought of being kissed themselves. That is, all but Elizabeth. She feigned amusement for the others, but could only imagine being held.
The gossip turned to Miss Bingley’s capturing the admiration of the very wealthy, though quite portly, Lord Percy Goldstaff. Georgiana had searched Elizabeth’s eyes before she wondered aloud whether this might merely be an attempt by Miss Bingley to make Mr Darcy jealous. “If so, she will be sadly dismayed by Will’s reaction—or should I say non-reaction to such a gambit. She is the furthest thing from his mind these days.”
Jane shared, without a hint of derision, what she had been told by Mr Bingley. “Caroline is quite taken by Lord Goldstaff’s beautiful house and his status as a widower with no children.”
Elizabeth was tired of the conversation. It had been a welcome diversion that had not managed to subdue her anxiety. As her departure from London loomed, the doubts and longing that plagued her increased. She excused herself, without calling attention to her need to be away, by saying she was going to the nursery to check on Bethany and Lewis. She sat in a chair and observed them sleeping peacefully. Finally, the tears came, and she was able to purge her despair for another day.
Elizabeth made several trips to Gracechurch Street during her stay in London. She felt sorely in need of guidance from her aunt and uncle. The life she had built in response to her tragedy had been spinning out of control ever since Mr Darcy had arrived in Hertfordshire. She had talked some about her quandary with them at Christmas, and a bit more during her stay, prior to travelling to Kent. At the time of those discussions, the only real change to her situation was the welcome addition of her father’s knowledge. Now she often felt panic rising in her throat when she contemplated the number of people who knew her secret.
The circumstances that had forced her to make revelations to Mary, Miss Darcy and Jane were recounted to the Gardiners, as well as the fact of Mr Darcy unburdening their secret to his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. She put forth the assumption that Mary had told Mr Collins, because he had not questioned her disguise. Elizabeth now knew from Jane that Mr Bingley had noticed her resemblance to Bethany, and was certain he would learn the truth quite soon. Still, she felt confident that he would tell no one—particularly his sisters—who he felt had betrayed him with regard to Jane. Elizabeth told her aunt and uncle that most who knew loved either her or Darcy or both, and would do anything to protect Bethany. Lizzy related some qualms about the Countess. There was evidence the Colonel might have revealed some of the truth to his mother. She seemed very sympathetic, but her loyalties were still an unknown. The Viscount had told his wife of violating a very young woman, a gentleman’s daughter, who demanded money not to expose him to her father. Now that she had met Lady Wolfbridge, Elizabeth wondered how long it would take her to put the pieces together.
Elizabeth spent quite some time telling her aunt and uncle about Lord Elderton. He might have known all along, and even if he did not—he definitely knew now. Mr Darcy had assured her that the Earl accepted the need to keep the circumstances quiet. His reputation would be tarnished if the whole ‘unseemly mess’ became public. However, in return for his promise; he had demanded to know the details of the money transactions. Lizzy believed he had not been told everything by Mr Darcy, but he had revealed to his uncle that the Viscount had not paid a penny in reparations. To his nephew’s annoyance, Lord Elderton had been quite pleased by that fact.
Mrs Gardiner noticed a wistful look on her niece’s face when she revealed that Mr Darcy had paid the three thousand pounds negotiated as Lord Wolfbridge’s obligation, as well as adding an additional three thousand purely as his contribution.
Both Mr and Mrs Gardiner saw that her dread of exposure seemed to be forgotten, at least for the moment, when Lizzy recounted Mr Darcy’s confrontation with his cousin. The damage his punch had done to the Viscount’s face even caused her to smile
Mr Gardiner reassured his niece that exposure was still unlikely. None of those who knew had any reason to make the secret common knowledge. He also concluded that the intervening six years, and the regular occurrence of scandals among the ton would probably protect Elizabeth, Darcy and Bethany from the full force of gossip if the truth became more widely known. They were old news and lesser players to the London set. The reaction of the societies of Hertfordshire and Derbyshire were more of an unknown, but Mr Darcy’s reputation and willingness to publicly defend Elizabeth and his daughter boded well for an adequate resolution in the event of exposure.
Before Elizabeth returned to Darcy House, she was able to find time to be alone with her aunt. After watching her niece fidget and begin to speak several times, Mrs Gardiner asked, “Elizabeth, something is bothering you… you can tell me. I have been your confidante these many years and circumstances have forced us to speak of the most intimate of topics.”
At her aunt’s prompting, Elizabeth blurted out, “Mr Darcy proposed to me. I was very distraught that day because of several distressing events. The most upsetting was the letter I received from Jane, describing her meeting with Lord Wolfbridge, and how very charming she found him and Lord Elderton.” She took in a deep breath to calm herself. “My rejection of Mr Darcy was vociferous, and I unleashed years of pent up anger toward his family upon him. Many of the things I said were demeaning and cruel.”
Now, instead of looking chagrined by her behaviour; Mrs Gardiner saw her niece develop that same faraway smile that she had seen several times before at the mention of Mr Darcy.
“He actually handled my vitriol quite well. I knew I had hurt him, but he listened quietly to my ranting. Once I calmed down, he agreed to meet me the next day for a more civil explanation of why I could not marry. In the interim, he had taken control of the situation for saving Jane, and thanks to him, nothing untoward happened to my beloved sister and, as you know, she is now ecstatically engaged to Mr Bingley.”
“Why are you telling me this, Lizzy?”
“Because I love him, but I will never be able to accept him. I also love Bethany, Lewis and Georgiana. I would like to be with them.”
“What are your reasons for refusing him?”
“One reason has to do with his family. Every time I even think about Lord Wolfbridge, I feel dread and repulsion. It would be repugnant to be in his company for any family events. His wife is Bethany’s godmother. In addition, some of his family, including Lord Elderton and his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and of course, the Viscount, feel much animosity toward me. News of my engagement to Mr Darcy could easily prompt one of them to retaliate by exposing the circumstances of Bethany’s birth. Both of us have a duty to think of her first. I also worry about Mary and Mr Collins. Lady Catherine is not able to take his living away, but I fear she could denounce them to his parishioners as being related to a fallen woman.”
“But wouldn’t their reputations suffer as well as yours, if the truth became known? Lizzy, are there other reasons?”
“I worry that Mr Darcy would lose consequence among his tenants, serva
nts and the people of Derbyshire when it became known his wife’s sister was married to his housekeeper’s nephew.”
Margaret Gardiner shook her head in frustration. “That is Mr Darcy’s concern. If he is not worried to whom your sisters are married… you should not worry. I am sure he thought of the significance of that connection before he asked you. What is your real fear?”
Elizabeth’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I do not think I could allow him to worship me with his body. That is something he would vow to do before God, and I feel panic at the mere thought. When I attempt to visualize what would happen, I feel as though I might faint.”
“Lizzy, I am unable to imagine what you feel. I remember being nervous as a young bride, but your experience is so very different from mine or your sisters’. My advice to Mary was… and will be to your sisters… is to trust their husbands to be kind, loving and caring. Despite the disparity of the circumstances, I still believe having faith in Mr Darcy is your answer.” Mrs Gardiner pulled her niece close. “He is a good man… talk to him. I know it is not a subject for proper young women to discuss with a man before they marry, but you are an exception. Tell him about your fears.”
She released Elizabeth and watched as she considered her aunt’s suggestion. “From what you have told me, you are becoming quite at ease confiding in each other. Yours is not a fear of the unknown, but a horror of the already experienced. Mr Darcy is the only one who would ever be able to assure you it will not be that way again.”
Darcy House hosted a dinner party practically every night. The staff could not remember a time since the death of Lady Anne when there was so much entertaining. Amongst those who often came to dinner were Sir Gareth, Miss Trent, Mr Bingley, Miss Bennet, the Countess Elderton, Lady Wolfbridge, Lord and Lady Hastings, the Gardiners, and once, even Miss Bingley, the Hursts and Lord Goldstaff. The Hursts and Miss Bingley and her wealthy admirer were invited by Darcy at Elizabeth’s urging—for Jane and Charles’ sake. Elizabeth felt that despite the viciousness of the sisters’ actions, they would be Jane’s family. The animosity needed to be, at the very least, neutralized. She wished her similar dilemma was as easy to resolve. The idea of eating dinner with Lord Wolfbridge or Lord Elderton at the table caused her to shudder with repugnance.
The Colonel was an almost permanent fixture at dinner, despite having moved to Elderton House. With a very satisfied grin, he relayed to Miss Elizabeth and Darcy that his brother had left for parts unknown. It was Richard’s opinion, he had gone to lick his wounds and let his nose heal. In addition to his exodus, the Earl had returned to Elderton. According to the Colonel, there was a wager in the betting book at White’s as to whether Darcy was responsible for the state of Lord Wolfbridge’s face. The Earl had departed London shortly after the first patron of that club asked him for the particulars of the cousins’ dispute.
The Gardiners brought David, Marianne and Susan when they dined. Sian had practically become a fixture in the nursery at Darcy House. Bethany fell madly in love with thirteen year-old Davey Gardiner. When he first arrived in the nursery, she had forced her attentions on him, and inundated him with questions about his cousin. She was surprised to learn that Miss Lizzy had taught him French using Perrault, the same as her father had done with her. During Davey’s answers of Bethany’s probing questions, she learned that Dr Jamie was his cousin. Every new bit of knowledge she learned about this practically grown up young man made him more and more appealing. She decided she should challenge him to a game of chess.
Ten year-old Marianne had developed a love for telling stories from her cousin. She entertained her sister Susan, Master Lewis and his betrothed, Sian, who had her father’s ginger hair and blue eyes, and was quite a chatterbox. She could not stop talking about the new mother she was set to acquire. Lewis, who was the most happy-go-lucky of little boys, felt a momentary stab of jealousy at her elation. He resolved he must pray harder for Miss Lizzy to accept his father.
Mr Darcy had sent an express to Dr Wilder to invite him to join their merry party for a few days before Miss Elizabeth returned to Hertfordshire. Besides seeing her and Georgiana, Darcy knew he would enjoy the festivities surrounding the engagement of his best friend, Sir Gareth, and Darcy’s best friend, Mr Bingley. His arrival was kept a secret, in case an emergency would keep him from attending. Darcy did not want to disappoint Elizabeth, Georgiana or Bethany if they were anticipating Dr Wilder, and he was unable to keep the appointment.
Shortly after Jamie’s arrival, Elizabeth was insistent he join her in the solarium. He noticed a sense of urgency in her eyes and went with her as unobtrusively as possible. Once out of view of the others, she forced herself into his arms and began to sob. Her act was totally out of character for her, and he knew immediately that something major was causing her feisty determination to falter. As he held her, he asked softly, “Lizzy, is your Irish soul failing you?”
She smiled up at him with tears in her eyes and nodded. He could do nothing but assure her he would help in any way to ease her troubles. She was able to pull herself together within a few minutes, and they agreed to find some time for a private conference. Elizabeth put on a brave face and returned to the others with the rather lame remark, “I just had to show Dr Wilder the solarium.”
Darcy was concerned for Elizabeth. He had noticed since the engagement of her sister and her friend that she seemed to be indulging in a false cheerfulness when in company. If she thought no one was observing her, her face displayed a defeated expression. Somewhere, she had lost her indomitable spirit with just a touch of sadness, and instead the haunted look, as intense as six years before was back; and she seemed to hardly be able to hold it back. He was conflicted whether the second offer he was hoping to make, before she left for Hertfordshire, was what she was wanting. Somehow, he knew it could not be that simple. Still, he believed he must declare his determination to win her before she was gone.
The dinners at Darcy house were full of lively discussion and a great deal of laughter. Opinions often covered a wide spectrum of political convictions, but always the conversations remained convivial. At the first dinner after Dr Wilder arrived, Colonel Fitzwilliam reported that he might be sent to Yorkshire to subdue the Luddites before he returned to Spain. His disclosure prompted Mr Gardiner to express his gratitude and the hope that troops would force an end to the wanton destruction.
Mr Gardiner was quite passionate in his condemnation of their actions. “I was invested in some of the wool and cotton mills that had looms destroyed. In my opinion, Judge Bayley was too lenient in the trial last month in Nottingham. Now that the Frame-Breaking-Bill has been enacted, hanging rather than transportation can be given as the penalty for their acts. That should let others know who are considering such crimes that the state is serious.”
Sir Gareth had read of the trial, and was sure that transportation was not at all a lenient punishment. He had heard many died during the voyage to Australia. He answered Mr Gardiner’s financially motivated opinion on punishment with, “Lord Byron has made a speech in the House of Lords, decrying the use of the death penalty in these offences. I believe I feel some sympathy for his position. There were more than a thousand men who participated in the attack on Betts’ frames. I think as citizens, we should try to understand the root cause of these protests and find a fair solution.”
Dr Wilder took Sir Gareth’s statement as an opening to express his sympathy with the mill workers. “Yes, I have heard from acquaintances in the area that there is widespread support for their actions. I was told the knitters Betts hired to operate the frames had never served an apprenticeship, and could be paid less money for doing the job. These practices are seen in that area as destroying the livelihood of many families.” With eyes gleaming with passion, he added, “someday, someone will get the bright idea to transport the looms to Ireland, and hire poor starving Irish men to operate the machines for a pittance.”
Mr Gardiner rolled his eyes at his wife’s cousin. “Jamie, they destro
yed somewhere between fifty and seventy frames valued at four hundred pounds apiece. It is a threat to the livelihood of the owners when their property is destroyed. This war with Napoleon has put the entire British economy at risk. We must protect the owners, and give them what they need, despite the cost in these troubled times.”
The next comment heard came from a very unlikely source. Lady Wolfbridge had a sharpness tinged with glee in her voice as she said, “These Luddites seem to be attacking the wrong target. It is the owners of these frames and their drive to increase their revenues that should be attacked. It is unfair to destroy the lives of so many in order to improve the lot of so few.” A smile crept across her face as she continued. “My father realizes the potential danger he faces if his workers should turn their anger from the machines they operate, and demand of him what is their due for the years of hard work on his behalf. He is having secret chambers built in his mills and his house, just in case the dawning of this consciousness occurs. However, he forgets to whom he is entrusting the creation of his hiding places. He certainly is not going to build them himself…” the entire group saw the twinkle in the eyes of the normally subdued Lady Wolfbridge, “…but can he trust the confidentiality of the labourers?”
