by Jill Cooper
“When did you jump in? How long have you been here?” Rick asks.
“Dinner time,” I admit sadly and I watch Rick’s face fall, “Where is here? Where are we?”
“Nowhere. That’s what Cameron calls it. He says it’s nowhere. I don’t know what he means by that.” Rick rubs the back of his neck and grimaces, as if it hurts.
“I’m going to find a way out for all of us. Find a way to send you back. So you can be…you can be with your Lara.” It hurts to say the words. Once upon a time, I wanted Rick and I to work out more than anything, but although I’m with Don, I know I have to make things right for him.
“I believe you. More than the others I’ve talked to.”
“Why?”
Rick shrugs as he walks back to his bed. “There’s a fire in your eyes I haven’t seen in a while. You mean it. The others, well, I think they gave up.”
He lies on his bed and I allow the desperation of his words to wash over me. I never gave up. Why would different versions of me give up? Was there something I had that the others didn’t?
“Lights out.” A voice far off in the distance says. With a snap, I’m left in total darkness and barely find my way back to my bed. I lie down and hope when I wake up, I’ll be back home, in my timeline. Maybe ready to jump backward to stop my dad from being murdered.
But I’m not. When I wake up, I’m still in the cage and find myself staring into a bowl of oatmeal with a side of Jell-O.
“Eat up.” Mom smiles at me before she leaves the cage and locks the glass door behind her.
I pick up my spoon and smash it against the wall of my cage. When I do that, the coils on the floor light up brightly. Well, that’s something new. I nearly smirk, but an intense jolt of pain radiates from my port and surges through my brain.
A burning, as if I’ve been lit on fire, gathers in waves behind my eyes. Groaning, I grab my temples and fall to the floor. The pain won’t stop and my legs kick in reaction as I try to wait it out, but instead it just grows worse.
Footsteps stop at the cage. “Won’t you ever learn your lesson?” Cameron asks.
No. No, I refuse. I’ll never stop fighting. Never give in. No matter what. Even if it kills me.
****
The pain finally subsides and when it does, Cameron sends his orderlies in to collect me. There’s not much fight left in me and I’m limp as they force me up. My legs wobble and if not for the men hooking their arms through mine, I’d collapse.
My sneakers drag on the ground as we make our way down a long hallway. “Have her fix Lara up. She’s of no use to me like this.”
No use to him. What use am I? What is Cameron really after? I wish I knew.
The orderlies take me through a locked door, into a small room lined with cabinets. Medical supplies. In the center are two hospital beds. One is already taken, but that person is rolled over toward the wall and I am unable to see their face.
“Strap her down.” The larger of the orderlies says as they toss me into the bed. Vomit rises in my mouth as they pin my arms to my side. My wrists and ankles are shoved into thick leather straps.
“She’ll be in to fix you up real soon. You lay there and don’t mutter a single word. If you do,” his lip curls as he gazes my body up and down, “we’ll get to know each other real well.”
I’m horrified at his words and it drowns my disdain for him. I bite my lip and hold my tongue. I count the seconds as they tick by until the door latches shut behind him. With a breath, I relax and that’s when I hear crying.
Crying. Coming from the other bed.
I glance over and see the person’s body is rocking back and forth as they sob. The frame is small, so I think it’s a woman. I wonder who she is and why she’s crying so hard.
“It’ll be okay.” I struggle to roll over, but can’t. Still, I keep my eyes on her.
A little girl’s voice responds through the darkness. “It won’t be okay.” Molly. It’s Molly’s voice. I’m surprised that Cameron would let us be together. Molly’s voice shakes as she glances over at me. It kills me to see her so scared, to see her hurt. Her face is bruised and burned on the side, probably from the electrical current they force her to endure, I don’t know for what reason.
“Molly,” my voice cracks, “Don’t give up. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise.” My words sound hollow. I’m not sure I even believe them. No matter what I do, where I go, I always seem to end up back here, one way or another.
I hate the tears that fill Molly’s eyes. “I just want to go home. Please, Lara, take me home.”
Home. One day here and already, the idea of home seems so farfetched. So distant.
“Where are we?” I whisper, “Do you know?”
“Nowhere,” Molly rolls over, ignoring me again, but her body still rocks back and forth, “We’re nowhere.” She sobs and I shush her as outside I hear the rush of footsteps. The door swings open. I direct my gaze upward again and the lights of the ceiling blind me.
Cameron smiles down at me; there’s a syringe in his hand. “Time to send you back where you came from.”
I grip the restraints on my wrists and look away from him. “Do whatever you want to me, but leave Molly alone. Leave…”
A pinch in the back of my neck interrupts my thought process. My eyes close and I hear the sweet sound of a lullaby. It must be a figment of my imagination. Hot breath blows against my ear and Cameron speaks to me. “I haven’t finished taking everyone you love away from you yet. By the time I’m done, you’ll wish you never got out of the cage in the first place.”
Chapter Twenty
With a scream, I open my eyes. I’m back, sitting in my room, still holding the newspaper clipping as I had before my trip through time had started. With bittersweet relief, I gaze at my Dad’s obituary.
I am back and part of me was afraid to try again, but I have to. I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? I needed to find a way to be ahead of this thing, one way or another and I couldn’t accept this version of the timeline as my home. It wasn’t home.
Home is where Dad is. I couldn’t accept that he was dead. Throwing a quick glance at my watch shows I still have time. With a deep breath, I close my eyes and feel a whistle of wind blow by my hair. I can smell the trash and rotten onions of the dumpster, where Dad’s body will be found.
And then, a piercing scream echoes from Mom’s hallway and it pulls me back before I manage to complete the time jump. “She’s just sleeping! You can’t just barge in here.” It’s not Mom’s voice, it's Jax’s.
Keep everyone out, my own words echo in my ears.
I leap to my feet and kick my duffle bag under the bed. My door opens wide as Cameron comes in fast with two police officers charging behind him. “There she is.” He points at me. “She’s attempting to change the past, gentlemen. I want her arrested. Immediately.”
They rush towards me and my vision doesn’t waiver from Cameron. “I thought you wanted time travel laws changed, Cameron. I thought this is what you wanted.”
He doesn’t say anything as my hands are pinned behind my back. I’m handcuffed and dragged through my childhood home. Mom and Jax put their jackets on over their pajamas and follow us out.
“I’ll go with her,” Jax says, “You stay with Molly.”
I’m led down the stairs and Jax doesn’t leave my side. I gaze up at Mom gripping the stair railing tightly, and behind her, Molly creeps out to the side. Her eyes are haunted, scared, and a fresh trail of blood leaks from her nose.
“We’re nowhere,” Molly whispers, “Nowhere.”
Nowhere. Somehow, Molly keeps the memories of the altered timelines. Somehow, Cameron isn’t just messing with me. He’s messing with her too.
****
At the police station, I’m thrown into a holding room and it feels as if I’ve been left there for hours. I pace the floor and when that gets boring, I sit in the metal chair. They’re letting me stew in my own juices, and boy am I.
I nee
d this to be over and done with.
When the door unlocks, I tense. I’m not sure who I am expecting to see, but I relax when it’s Jax. The police officer glares at me before he closes the door, but I don’t care. I rush into Jax’s arms and he strokes my hair back.
“How?”
“Someone owed me a favor.” Jax smiles. “You want to tell me what’s going on, Lara? Really going on?”
“I’m not sure what you—.”
“Lara,” Jax’s eyes are leveled at me, “Marcus was arrested at the TTPA for tampering with the equipment. Cameron is launching allegations that Donovan was involved too, so if you want me to help you with whatever is going on—.”
I sigh and squeeze my eyes tightly. It had all been for nothing? Now, everything I had worked for so hard is on the verge of being destroyed.
“It won’t make sense to you, Jax.”
His lip squeezes tight. “Try me.”
“Okay,” I say and I do. I tell him everything from Rex being Cameron to Dad suddenly being dead. The deeper I pull Jax into the rabbit hole, the paler he gets. Eventually, he sits down and holds his face in his hand.
“I’m not crazy. I know how it sounds.”
Jax shakes his head and when he looks up at me, I see the dread on his face. The fear in his eyes. “I thought this was long over, Lara. I thought our lives could finally just go on.”
So had I, but I stay quiet and only chew on my lip.
“What you’re saying is crazy, but,” he pauses to give me another level stare, “a lot of it lines up with what Molly’s been saying. I just thought she was playing,” Jax shrugs, “…make believe.”
“What has she been saying?”
“Since we got home from the banquet, she’s been upset. The babysitter said she woke up screaming. Your mother tried to calm Molly down, but she just kept shouting about things not being right. Something was skewed in the timeline,” Jax laughs and it's bitter, “It scared your mother and I. A lot of the words she used, well they were words you use. We just thought it was a dream. She kept saying we weren’t supposed to be together. Your mom and me. That John, your dad—.”
Slowly I nod because I know the rest.
“So, it’s all true? Someone changed the past? Your mom and I?”
“I’m sorry,” I choke out the words at the look of grief on his face, “Jax, if I could keep you and Mom together forever, I would. I…love you.” I gaze down at my hand and laugh for some unknown reason, but the pain in my heart has been stretched further.
Jax squeezes my hand. “If someone went back in time and killed John, set it up to look like suicide, I owe it to him to…help you. Fix things.”
He was a better man than he gives himself credit for. A better man than Mom, in my timeline, gives him credit for. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“But what of Molly? How does she know these things? If she isn’t traveling in time with you, how can she know?”
“I don’t know,” a simple answer that terrifies me, “But we’re going to have to find out. It just might not be here.”
“What do we do? How do I help you?”
I gaze around. “I need five minutes. Five minutes alone in here with no one watching. No one coming in. If I can get back into the past….”
Jax nods. “If they catch on, we’ll both be in a lot of trouble, Lara.”
“But it won’t matter. If I get back there and change things, none of this would have happened. Everything will revert back to where it’s supposed to be.”
“I’ll never remember this conversation. The last few years with your mom.” Jax’s voice sounds numb.
“If there was another way.” I shake my head because there isn’t.
Jax stands and straightens out his suit jacket. He reaches down and strokes the top of my head. “Then let’s get started. And pray that whatever happened here, for Molly, it’s just an anomaly. Something that is fixed when you change the past.”
No one prays harder for that than I. With Jax gone, I sit calmly, with my hands on the tabletop. I gaze down and instantly my mind clicks. It’s getting easier to fall into the pattern I need to travel through time. Thinking of my father, I feel myself being pulled away. I can see his apartment and in my hand, the form of a wine glass takes shape.
The door of the interrogation room rattles and the police burst in and they pull their guns on me. “Harness her!”
I raise my hand and they instantly freeze. My ability to stop, rewind, and speed through time is back. It’s never felt stronger. An instant later, the police station falls away block by block. I’m standing in Dad’s apartment and he is bent over, blowing candles out on his birthday cake.
Donovan has his arm around my shoulders and he’s smiling. Mom is standing over on the other side of the table, her hands frozen in mid-clap. Young Molly is only ten-years-old, dressed in a pretty party dress. Her mouth is open as if she had been singing Happy Birthday and then she does something I least expect. She blinks.
Blinks while time is still frozen. Blinks while everything around us is still.
I take a deep breath and her eyes shift. They gaze at me a moment before everything around us comes back to life. Dad blows out his candles, Mom claps, and Donovan squeezes me tighter, all the while, my eyes are trained on my baby sister.
She gazes around and when her eyes fall to my dad, she lets out a deep breath. A relaxing deep breath, as if she didn’t expect to see him there.
“Mike!” Mom turns around and her loud voice breaks through my concentration. “Stop stuffing those grapes in your mouth and come over here and say happy birthday!” She runs off to get my half-brother and my eyes lock with Molly.
“Nice party.”
Molly nods. “Umm-hmm.” She says as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. Like something isn’t the matter.
Did I imagine it? I couldn’t have, could I?
“You okay?” Donovan asks.
I’m relieved by the way he looks at me. With love, complete trust, and respect. “Oh yeah,” I tug on his shirt and pull him in close for a hug. Part of me feels bittersweet about the embrace we share, knowing what is coming. “Everything is perfect.”
Over his shoulder, I watch Dad slicing the cake and I smile. I have one week to watch and wait. One week to make sure everything transpires just the way it should.
****
After the party begins to wrap up, I help Dad wash the plates, while Donovan hangs in the living room and catches the football game. Dad washes and I dry. He smirks at me from across the table as we clear it. “You sure you’d rather be in here with me than out there with Don?”
“I’m right where I want to be. How about you? You happy?” I study his face and watch him carefully.
Dad scowls. “Of course, I’m happy. I’m here with you. Your mom. Having cake with loads of frosting. What’s not to be happy about?”
He knows just what to say to make me feel better. He gives me a squeeze and kisses the top of my head. “Now, you head out. Leave your old man and go have some fun.”
I nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Dad wipes his hand on a green towel, “We have a date I don’t know about?”
“You’re going to be seeing a lot of me, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure we have lots of fun. When you’re not at work, that is.”
“What about school?” Dad asks and I freeze in my tracks.
School. In my future, I’m about to graduate and marry Donovan but here…here I’m just a college freshman and if I mess this up, I might not be ready to graduate at all.
Chapter Twenty-One
Donovan drives us home in his sedan. The days of limos and drivers haven’t arrived yet, which means I have time to fix things. I can’t keep my eyes off him. He’s relaxed, in charge, and talks the whole way home. I love the way his lips turn up when he smiles and how he laughs at his own jokes.
That’s the Donovan I remember, but he’s also the Donovan I had just left. The one who h
ad lost all our money and was sent into a downward spiral. He made a few wrong choices, but he had no idea where it’d lead us. No idea.
Our apartment is small but luxurious. It’s definitely nicer than where I had grown up. It is not the penthouse suite, but it has everything a person could hope for. Brand new appliances, a gorgeous gray sofa, and most importantly, my loving boyfriend making popcorn in the kitchen.
The living room is covered in photos of us and my family—plus a few shots of Donovan’s Dad. Every picture and every memory Donovan had of Patricia, his mom, had been scrubbed away. In the slick kitchen, Donovan clinks some bottles together as he pulls them from the fridge and I take that moment to slip into the bedroom.
I sit on the bed, which is covered with a gray, satin comforter. I remember the nights in this bed; the things Donovan and I had done. How could that not be enough for him? How could I have made him think it wasn’t?
Had I ever come straight out and told Donovan how happy I was here? How happy I was with him?
I slide my phone open and dial a number I know by heart, though it isn’t in my speed dial. It’s as if I had been trying to keep her separate from everything I really am. What a mistake that had been.
“Lara?” Delilah’s voice rings out, “Well, what a pleasant surprise this is!”
“Hi, Delilah,” my soul cracks as I say the words, but I smile, “Can we have breakfast tomorrow? There’s something we need to talk about.”
“Well, of course. You know how much I love seeing you. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I have a meeting at the TTPA at nine, I’m afraid, but—.”
“Then I’ll meet you at eight. That little place by your apartment? Don’t say no, Delilah. It’s important.”
“Somewhat important? Or that kind of important?”
She might as well have said it aloud. The time travel kind of important. “That kind of important.”
Delilah sighs. “Then I’m going to have to order a mimosa.”
****
