by Shari Low
‘I’ll go and check. Dad, can I ask you something?’
‘Anything, love.’ Aggs saw him brace himself for something deeply personal or painful. ‘Hypothetically speaking… Killing a twin because she’s sitting on her arse and refusing to help clear the buffet table – twenty to life or could I get a reduced sentence by pleading extreme provocation?’
‘Definitely extreme provocation.’
Isla seemed satisfied. ‘Excellent. If you hear screams, just ignore them.’
As Isla sashayed back out to continue the clear-up, Aggs saw Mitchell’s forced cheeriness dissolve into a weary sigh.
‘You okay there, Mr McMaster?’
He put the empty platter down next to Isla’s discarded pile of plates and thought about that for a second or two. ‘Is it weird that I am?’
‘Yep,’ she teased, realising it felt good to laugh with him. Weirdly, she actually felt some sympathy for him. It couldn’t be easy to learn that his wife had always been an immoral, manipulative cow on the same day as he discovered she was cheating on him too.
But then, she wasn’t exactly in a position to judge him on his perception skills. She hadn’t known that her best friend had had a baby and put it up for adoption. She’d been clueless for over twenty years as to why Aaron had ghosted her. And she’d had no idea those two things were connected, or what she’d have done if she’d been aware of the truth. Seeing Aaron tonight had been bittersweet. It was both incredible and devastating, exciting yet confusing. He’d betrayed her, just like Mitchell. Sure, Aaron had been a fool and made a drunken mistake, while Mitchell had known exactly what he was getting in to, had plenty of time to retreat and choose to stay faithful, but had opted not to. Were they both on the same level of treachery?
Mitchell opened the drinks fridge and took out a beer, then came and stood next to her, leaning against the worktop. A memory flashed into Aggs’ mind. The two of them, in exactly the same positions so many times before, back in the early days when he would come in from work and hang out with her while she cleared up, telling her all about his day. They’d been good once. Sometimes it was easy to forget that.
Mitchell took a swig of the beer, then folded his arms, tucking the bottle in at his elbow. ‘I think it’s clarified in my mind what I need to do. What I should have done a long time ago, if I’m honest. The problem with me and Celeste isn’t that she’s having an affair… The problem is that we should never have got together in the first place. I was such a fucking idiot.’
Aggs chose not to argue that point.
‘I’m sorry, Aggs. I really am. I wish I could go back and do it all differently.’
‘But you can’t,’ she said, with a sad shrug of her shoulders. In truth, she wished the same thing. Although, if she’d gone back to Aaron, she wouldn’t have Isla and Skye and they made all the pain and struggles worth it.
He held her gaze. ‘Can’t we? It doesn’t have to be too late for us. Couldn’t we try?’
Aggs felt a jolt of surprise as she realised what he was asking. Could they try again?
‘Look who I found out wandering the streets!’ Val’s gregarious bellow cut through the moment, as she burst into the kitchen, her beaming grin leading the way.
Aggs and Mitchell jumped, snapped out of the loaded question that was still hanging between them. Could they try again?
Val made a gesture like a game show hostess pointing to the star prize as she stepped to the side to allow Will to come in behind her. ‘I found this one!’ she exclaimed proudly.
Will. He was here. He’d made it.
‘Hey, you,’ he greeted her.
She had no time to respond before Val threw her arms wide and then wrapped her in a hug. ‘Right, my love, I’m off. Are you sure you won’t let me stay and clear up?’
‘I’m sure, Val. Thank you so much for everything. This has been the most unforgettable day.’ That was definitely true.
Just at that, Yvie came barrelling in, somehow managing to balance a tray of empty glasses in one hand and a black bin bag in the other. ‘Those years as a waitress while I was at college weren’t wasted,’ she quipped, expertly placing the tray down on the table, then putting the bin bag over by the back door. ‘That’s everything pretty much sorted out there. There are still a couple of stragglers finishing their drinks, but I don’t think they’ll be much longer. Did you say that we’re off now, Val?’
‘I did. Aggs threatened to hold on to my ankles so I wouldn’t go.’
Chuckling, Aggs whipped off her Marigolds and hugged Yvie goodbye. ‘You’re fab, do you know that?’ she told her friend, feeling a rush of love.
‘Right back at you, honey,’ Yvie replied, matching her squeeze.
‘Christ, it’s like one of those American talk shows in here, where they all hug at the end. I’m getting out before I start weeping and baring my soul.’
‘Is there a soul in there, Val?’ Yvie asked, eyes twinkling with cheek.
Val raised one eyebrow. ‘Aye, but I mostly keep it doused with vodka, so it doesn’t give me too much trouble.’
Aggs was still laughing as they enveloped her again, this time in a three way hug, before giving her a flurry of kisses and then disappearing out of the door.
There was a strange and slightly awkward silence as the three people remaining in the room recalibrated to the new situation. Will looked at Mitchell. Mitchell looked at Will. Aggs looked at both of them and felt her toes curling inside her sparkly shoes.
Mitchell was the first to break. ‘Right, well, I’ll… go and see what the girls are up to.’
Aggs threw him a smile of gratitude, an echo of a thought still playing in the background of her mind. Could they try again?
Will gave Mitchell a nod as he passed on his way out of the door.
‘You look like you could do with a drink. Beer?’ Aggs asked.
‘Coffee?’ Will countered.
‘No problem,’ Aggs said, taking two cups from the cupboard beside her and filling them from the half-full pot that was already brewed on the coffee machine. She put them on the small table at the side of the room where she and Isla would sit and chat during their breaks.
Pulling out a chair, Aggs watched Will as he followed suit, taking the seat across from her. It didn’t take deep insight or keen perception to see that this was a very different man from the one who’d been here this afternoon. The body language. The aura. The exhaustion in his eyes. He was a stranger to the guy who’d kissed her. No relation to the bloke who had excitedly presented her with a trip to Paris and gushed about what a great time they were going to have.
‘Go on,’ she coaxed softly, eliminating all small talk from the conversation. She’d been through enough to recognise sadness and right now it was oozing from every pore of Will’s skin.
He wrapped his hands around the cup, taking comfort from the heat as he stared into the black liquid. ‘Carol wants to try again.’
Aggs closed her eyes, took it in, felt the weight of his feelings as if transferred to her by his words, realising that she’d known since the minute he walked in the door. And she also knew that there was no choice when it came to what he should do.
‘And you want that too?’ she asked gently, no trace of judgement.
‘I don’t know,’ he answered honestly. ‘When we split up, we were broken.’ His emotions threatened to spill over, so he paused, took a breath, steadied himself. ‘I understood. Really, I did. We were both drowning in grief over Barney, and we couldn’t keep each other afloat any more. We were pulling each other down and we had to let go.’
Aggs reached over and put her hand on his, her sad smile encouraging him to go on. He had to work this through for himself and all she could do was listen while he did that.
‘I wasn’t looking for anyone, but then I met you…’ He raised his eyes and she saw pools of unshed tears. ‘… and started to feel something like happiness again. I don’t expect that to happen, but it did. That was real.’
Aggs’
voice was barely louder than a whisper. ‘I know.’ It was true and she understood because she’d been through a similar journey after she’d left Aaron, after Mitchell cheated, after her dad died, after her mum passed away too. The grief, the feeling that nothing would ever bring joy again, and then the very slow and gradual shedding of the scales of pain, until there was still enough protection there to keep her together, but the shell was soft enough to let new love in.
‘But now…’ he stopped, unable to force out what she knew he’d come to say.
Her natural instinct to comfort him kicked in. He was a good man. It was killing her to see him struggling through the turmoil. Hadn’t they both had enough of that? ‘Will, it’s fine, I promise.’
It was as if her kindness gave him the courage to go on, to make the decision.
‘I have to go back. I owe it to Carol and I owe it to Barney. We will always be the parents whose son died, but now, maybe we can be together and remember what we had – our beautiful boy for twenty-one years of his life.’
Aggs had two hands on top of his now. ‘I think you can,’ she told him. ‘And I think it’s the right thing to do.’
‘You do?’
Her smile came naturally, no need to force it because she was being completely honest. ‘I do.’
‘Thank you,’ he told her, with quiet but palpable relief.
‘For what?’
‘For being a friend.’
‘Always,’ she told him, meaning it. Will would always be part of her recovery and she’d always be grateful that he was in her life.
As he got up to leave, his hand trailed along hers. ‘You’re a special lady, Aggs. See you at The Wednesday Club?’
‘Yup, I’ll see you there.’
As soon as he was gone, Aggs sat back in her chair, winded, sore, but unbroken. Their friendship would survive this and she knew they would continue to support each other. No hard feelings. And the Paris trip? Maybe she could take the girls. They deserved that and more for everything they’d done for her today.
She was so deep in thought that she didn’t even hear the footsteps until the words came.
‘Can I talk to you?’
The hairs on the back of Aggs’ neck bristled as she raised her head. Could she really do this?
‘Sure, Celeste,’ she said wearily. ‘Take a seat.’
34
Mitchell
‘Dad, I don’t want to scare you, but Celeste just went into the back kitchen to talk to Mum,’ Skye told him as he came back into the café from the gents. His first reaction was to glance outside, where he saw that Aaron was still sitting with Hope and Maisie, but Celeste’s seat was empty. Shit.
‘Skye, do me a favour.’
‘Is there money in it for me?’ she quipped. ‘A free holiday? Shoes?’
He felt a wave of gratitude for his daughters’ quick mouths. Even in times like this, they could lift his spirits. He kissed her on the cheek. ‘Nope, just my undying love.’
‘I’d rather have shoes.’
His chuckle made her grin too.
‘Okay, Pops, what do you need?’
‘Can you go outside and ask those people to come in and maybe get them a drink and offer them some food?’
‘Sure thing.’ She was peering out curiously now. ‘Who are they? Isla said the guy is an old friend of Mum’s, but I thought I heard an American accent?’
Mitchell wanted to explain, but just thinking about Celeste being in the back kitchen with Aggs made him want to reach for the Gaviscon. ‘She met him when she was in LA. Before we were married.’
Skye’s eyes widened. ‘A romance?’ She peered out at Aaron again. ‘Go Mum. I can definitely see the attraction. He must have been gorgeous when he was younger.’
Mitchell shook his head. ‘I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Can you just go? Go…’ he shooed her towards the door.
Skye seemed to think this was hilarious. ‘Okay, keep your pants on. And if you’re not out of there in ten minutes,’ she gestured to the kitchen, ‘I’ll call in a crime scene team.’
As he approached the kitchen door, Mitchell wondered if he was already too late as there were no sounds at all coming from inside. No voices. No movements. Although, maybe a good sign, no screams.
It was a relief when he saw Aggs acknowledge his arrival with a raise of her eyebrows. He knew that look. It was the same one she gave when the kids were small and she wanted him to jump in with some co-parental support.
‘Are you two okay? Want me to leave or stay?’ he asked, not sure which answer he’d prefer.
Of course, it was Celeste who replied. His wife always had to be in control. ‘You may as well stay. Save me repeating everything twice.’
He saw a flicker of relief from Aggs. Stay, it was then.
His beer from earlier was still lying on the kitchen worktop by the sink, so he picked it up and resumed the position he’d been in when he’d been talking to Aggs. It was there, just a few feet from both women, that a couple of observations struck him. Will wasn’t here, and he hadn’t seen him out in the café, so he must have left. And closer to home, Celeste spent a fortune maintaining that beautiful face with an exhaustive routine of freezers, fillers, facials, lasers, chemicals and cosmetics that cost the same as a meal for two in a Michelin star restaurant. There was no doubt that with her glossy hair and exquisitely curved cheekbones, she was still stunning, but…
His contemplation moved to Aggs. What was remarkable was that somehow, despite none of the treatments that Celeste swore by, Aggs actually looked younger, and had changed so little from the gorgeous twenty-four year old with the wild flame red hair that he’d fallen in love with.
‘Did I miss anything?’ he asked, to a head shake from Celeste.
‘No.’ He watched as she turned back to Aggs, and for once, he thought he saw a flicker of self-doubt on her face. ‘You must hate me right now,’ his current wife said calmly to his ex-wife.
Watching the palpable discomfort between them, it seemed unfathomable that they had once been as close as sisters. He took full responsibility for his part in destroying that relationship.
Aggs was almost nonchalant as she answered, ‘Hating you isn’t worth the energy it takes, Celeste.’
He felt like applauding Aggs for being the epitome of dignity and class.
Celeste took the hit and stayed upright. ‘Ouch. Deserved though,’ she conceded.
‘What do you need to tell me, Celeste?’ Aggs urged her to get to the point, but there was no malice in her voice and Mitchell admired her reasoned calmness. Once upon a time, he remembered thinking that Celeste was absolutely a class act. Now he saw that it had been Aggs who was the more impressive one all along. What a dick he’d been to miss that, so swayed by the surface stuff to see what was going on underneath. The reality was that Aggs was worth a million Celeste’s.
‘The thing with Aaron… I want you to know that it wasn’t planned. It doesn’t make a difference now, I see that. I know you think I’m a heartless bitch…’ she gave a bitter laugh. ‘And you’re not wrong, but back then, I wasn’t trying to hurt you.’
‘So why? Why do it?’
Celeste winced. ‘Because I didn’t want to lose you, didn’t want you to go and live in LA. You and your mum and dad were all I had, and I wanted to hang on to you. If you’d married Aaron, I’d have lost you and I wasn’t ready for that.’
Mitchell waited for Aggs to ask the obvious question and she was already there. ‘But even if I accept that, Celeste, what you did later makes no sense. If you slept with Aaron because you didn’t want to lose me, why did you have an affair with my husband? You had to know that would kill our relationship completely. Why take him too?’
The shame was acute, and Mitchell was sure he could feel his bollocks slightly retreat inside him when she said it. Much as he wanted to escape the discomfort, he knew he deserved this.
‘Because by then everything was different. When I was pregnant, I lost the biggest bre
ak of my career and by the time I’d had the baby…’
Mitchell noticed that she wasn’t calling Hope by her name. Obviously Celeste was associating the young woman out there with what had to have been a traumatic time in her life. Or was he being too kind? Was Celeste’s lack of connection more down to the fact that she’d never felt anything for her child at all?
‘How did I miss you being pregnant?’ Aggs interjected.
‘Because I stayed down in London for the latter months and you were up here looking after your dad. Anyway, when I went back to work, I’d discovered I’d missed the boat. I was twenty-five by then, and the jobs were drying up. Career over before it had really begun and that twisted my mind, made me furious and bitter. And, somehow, I blamed you.’
This was all news to Mitchell, and he was hanging on every word, watching as Aggs took it all in too but gave no reaction.
‘When I moved back to Glasgow, I had nothing. No job. No money. No relationship. I wasn’t even thirty and I was washed up. And there was you, with the parents who loved you, and the two perfect children, and the house and the hotshot lawyer husband… you had everything.’
‘Except a life,’ Aggs countered. ‘All I did was work and take care of everyone. I was exhausted.’
Celeste put her hands up in acceptance. ‘I get that now. But back then, I was so wrapped up with jealousy and ambition and rage over what I’d lost. All I saw was that I had nothing and you had everything that I didn’t have, yet I didn’t think you appreciated it. You didn’t have time for Mitch, or for me… I’d wrecked my life trying to keep you and it had been for nothing. So I cut my losses. I saw a way to get a man I’d fallen in love with, to get a family, a home, status… everything I wanted and if it cost me a friendship with someone who didn’t have time for me anyway, well, it was a price worth paying.’
Aggs smiled sadly. ‘So you took it.’
‘So I took it,’ Celeste parroted. ‘I felt I deserved it.’
Aggs blinked, as if realising something and he knew instantly what it was. Celeste’s words had caught out a small fib he’d told earlier. ‘Tell me something, Celeste – who made the first move?’ Aggs asked the same question she’d put to him that afternoon in the Botanic Gardens.
