Today we believe that we can create our own identity through our own free choices. We may think we are being “true to ourselves” when we shed the constraints of traditional values and morality, but in reality we are simply allowing a new community to tell us who we are. “The question of individual identity is always also a question of community, from family and church, school and business, all the way up to nation and state. Communities create the paths we walk.”85
Why do you hang out with the people you do? Have your choices been influenced by a desire to be like the people you spend time with the most?
Prayer: Lord, because I’m too busy to spend sustained time with other believers, I am being shaped by other communities—through social media, news media, and the stream of advertisements and bulletins that come at me every day. Motivate me to seek friends who believe, and then help me find them. Amen.
April 6
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. (29:25)
APPROVAL. The only way to reorder our desires toward God is to identify where our hearts are already committed instead. For the next four days we will look at four typical God substitutes. The first is human approval. The fear of man is a snare. If we look to human beings more than to God for our worth and value, we will be trapped by anxiety, by an overneed to please, by the inability to withdraw from exploitative relationships, by the inability to take criticism, and by a cowardice that makes us unable to confront others. Our feelings will be easily hurt and we will tend to overcommit out of a desire for acceptance.
The devastation that comes from the fear of man has many forms. It includes parents who are afraid to discipline their children and employees who are unable to call out corruption in their companies. But we must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). The only thing that casts out the fear of man is a deep love relationship with God (1 John 4:18). Then we can say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)
Whose approval is functionally more important to you than God’s?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you said that you were the liberator (John 8:36). Now liberate me from my enslavement to the “fear of man.” I am far too concerned about what people think of me. If I have the regard of the King, why should I care about what others say? Never let me forget this. Amen.
April 7
Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare. . . . Whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich. (20:13, 21:17)
COMFORT. A second form of inordinate desire is an inordinate love of physical pleasure and comfort. The pleasure described here is the joy that comes from the satisfaction of physical wants. Wine, of course, heightens spirits while oil was used in cosmetics and indicates beauty and sensual comfort.86 The Bible isn’t against pleasure per se. Wine gladdens the heart of man and oil makes the face shine (Psalm 104:15). And the overlove of comfort is no more wrong than the overlove of discomfort. Sleeping when you should work (20:13) and working when you should be resting (Psalm 127:2) are both wrong.
Yet if we become “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4), it leads to disaster—not only economic but also emotional and spiritual. At one level, addiction to comfort can make people detached, avoiding entanglements with people in order to protect their own time and convenience. It can also lead to literal addictions to substances and sexual practices. Idolatry takes many forms, and it is the wise man or woman who can locate and destroy anything usurping God’s place.
What pleasures are perhaps too important to you—not just giving comfort but giving you a consolation only God should give?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you left the unimaginable comforts of heaven for a life of hardship on earth for me. Someday I will live in that same unimaginably glorious world. Until then, however, let me not set my heart on thrills, sensations, and comfort but follow in your footsteps. Amen.
April 8
A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth. . . . The wise prevail through great power and those who have knowledge muster their strength. (11:16, 24:5)
POWER. Another overdesire is the will to power. In 11:16 the word gains means to seize or take hold of through sheer power. That is how ruthless men live. By contrast, the kindhearted woman is “someone who is characterized by grace . . . someone who acts for the benefit of others, not expecting a return.”87 While she gives up power to serve others, they serve only their love of power, which can take many forms. Ambition and careerism can be driven by a desire for wealth as a means of gaining power. The overlove of power can also show itself in people who are opinionated, poor listeners, argumentative, highly partisan, unteachable, and afraid to admit when they have been in the wrong.
As the woman gains honor, paradoxically, by not seeking honor at all, so Jesus achieved true strength by seeking not power but service. “Who is greater, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? . . . I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27). 24:5 teaches that wisdom itself—not being wise in your own eyes, loving God, disadvantaging yourself for others—is in the end the greatest power and strength of all.
When did you last give up significant power in order to serve someone else?
Prayer: Lord, there is nothing more seductive than power. If I am honest, I confess that there are many situations and relationships I enjoy mainly because of the power I exercise in them. Help me to kill the sinful part of my heart that rejoices in that. Amen.
April 9
Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. (27:1)
CONTROL. The greatest nightmare of the approval addict is rejection; of the power addict, humiliation; of the comfort addict, suffering; and of the control addict, uncertainty. Though the sluggard refuses to plan (20:4), the opposite error is to think you can control the future—and your whole life—through planning and management. Those who believe they can eliminate uncertainty boast about tomorrow, thinking they have planned for every contingency. People with an overneed for control have trouble sharing power, can’t delegate, and tend to manipulate people, using guilt and pressure to get people to do what they want.
But you do not know what is to come. The future is wholly in the hands of God (16:1,3,9). Confidence regarding the future is possible for the wise person, but it is not founded on our own abilities. Such confidence must be “realistic, modest, and grounded in the fear of the Lord.”88 This overconfidence in one’s ability to control life is always haunted by the nagging sin of worry (Matthew 6:19–34), just as the desire for power is dogged by anger, the fear of man by cowardice, and the lover of pleasure by boredom.
Do you get very anxious when you lose direct control of a relationship or a situation?
Prayer: Lord, you are God, and I will find rest nowhere but in your will, and “that will is infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what [you] are up to.”89 Amen.
Understanding Temptation
April 10
She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: “Today I fulfilled my vows, and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.” (7:13–15)
MAGICAL THINKING. Proverbs chapter 7 dramatically depicts an act of adultery. In the process it teaches us how the heart falls into temptation. At the beginning of the tryst the woman says to her would-be lover that she has fulfilled her religious vows by making a fellowship offering at the temple (cf. Leviticus 3:1–17). This consisted of a meal that many could eat. So, she says, I have prayed and sacrificed to God. Now please come to my home to finish the religious observance. And because my husband is not home (7:19), we can then make love. Put more starkly: “After we finish our prayers and devotions we can commit adultery!”
The disconnect between her public profession of faith and the conduct of her private life is startling b
ut all too common. She has exchanged wholehearted discipleship for a magical view in which God is more like an idol who can be placated by various observances. We need to learn that unconditional obedience is the only sacrifice that is reasonable, in light of all God has done for us through creation and redemption (Romans 12:1–2).
Is there any place that you see a disconnect between your public profession of faith and your private life?
Prayer: Lord, I have come to realize—or perhaps just to finally admit—that there are parts of my life I simply disconnect from my belief in you. I act as if you don’t exist in that area of my life. I repent and ask your help to change that. Amen.
April 11
“So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!” (7:15–18)
ENTERING IN. Temptation has stages. First comes rationalization (7:14). In this case the lovers share a fellowship sacrifice meal. They must find a way to reconcile the adultery with their self-image as still-being-good people. There are many ways to do this. The self-pitying, overworking man might look with desire at a woman who is not his wife and say, “After all I’ve sacrificed, I deserve this.”
Second, we believe an overpromise. The woman says, literally, “I looked for you only” (verse 15), meaning “You are the one I’ve been looking for all my life.” What is promised is a kind of cosmic fulfillment that no sexual encounter can ever deliver. Third comes the titillation of the senses—the aromas, the sights, the physical arousal (“I have perfumed my bed . . . let’s drink deeply of love”). By now, applying the brakes and saying no is nearly impossible. Temptation is impossible to completely avoid. But as Martin Luther is reputed to have said, “While you can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, you can stop them from making nests in your hair.” That is, stop things before they get away from you.
Have you seen these stages of temptation play out in any area of your life?
Prayer: Lord, you asked your disciples in Gethsemane to watch and pray against temptation, but they did not. Oh, how I want to be different. Help me discern the very first stages of temptation to lust, pride, anger, or greed—so I can turn from sin before I lose control. Amen.
April 12
“My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.” With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. (7:19–23)
TOO EASY—TOO HARD. Sometimes there is another stage to temptation (see April 11 for the others). It is reassurance that there will be no real consequences. “My husband is not at home . . . and will not be home till full moon” (7:19–20). Temptation is extremely powerful if you believe “no one will ever know!” But in reality there will always be a heavy cost (verse 23) for transgressing the givenness of God’s spiritual and moral order. In the case of adultery, it could mean inward and outward shame or the financial and physical danger that comes from a wronged husband’s wrath (6:33–35). And God will always know.
The seventeenth-century writer Thomas Brooks, in his book Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices, argued that Satan tempts you by assuring you that you can always repent later. “But he who now tempts you to sin upon the account that repentance is easy, will, ere long, bring you to despair, and forever destroy your soul, [and] represent repentance as the most difficult and hardest work in the world.”90
Have you experienced this satanic device? When and how?
Prayer: Lord, I know this demonic lie—that I can sin now and later ask forgiveness. But when I’ve gone that route I’ve discovered that my heart becomes too hard and despondent to repent. Thank you for today’s reminder of this device of Satan, and call it to mind the next time he uses it on me. Amen.
April 13
Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. (7:24–27)
DEFENSE. How then can we defend ourselves against the many temptations that face us, whether they are in the arena of sex, money, power, or something else? First, watch your heart (7:25a). Temptation always starts in the inward thoughts. We can’t stop ideas from occurring to us, but we must not entertain them. Fondling the secret thoughts, thinking out rationalizations, exploring the possible consequences—all of these trains of thought are allowing the temptation to make its case to us. Second, we must not stray into her paths (verse 25b). That is, we should literally stay away from places, situations, and persons that make it easy for our minds to go down the wrong trail.
Third, we should assure ourselves of the inevitable damage and spiritual destruction that always come (a highway to the grave . . . down to the chambers of death—verse 27). Look down that highway and see the ultimate tragedy and wrongfulness of sin: It grieves God and spurns the sacrifice he made to save you in Jesus Christ.
Have you seen in your own life how these three strategies have helped you in exercising self-control and defense against temptation?
Prayer: Lord, my ultimate defense against the enticements of sin is to remember that it was sin that led you to the cross. You died—you lost everything—to free me from sin. How can I trample on your costly love by giving in to it? Never let this thought leave me. Amen.
Understanding Emotion
April 14
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. . . . A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (14:30, 17:22)
THE WHOLE PERSON. Long before modern medicine and psychology, Proverbs taught that emotional well-being was connected to physical health and well-being. Envy rots the bones but a cheerful heart is good medicine. Yet today specialization and bureaucratization mean that physician, psychiatrist, social worker, and minister often end up treating only one isolated aspect of the person, without consulting one another or looking at the person as a whole.
English minister Richard Baxter, even in the seventeenth century, knew that depression could be rooted in a physiological cause, emotional trauma, moral guilt, or spiritual warfare with evil forces.91 Baxter was not trained in modern science. He knew this from the Scripture in general and the book of Proverbs in particular. Godly wisdom refuses to reduce depression, for example, to any one cause. It does not have simply a chemical or simply a moral or simply a spiritual cause. All the dimensions of our nature are usually involved. It is foolish to reduce the solution to just “take a pill” or to just “repent.”
Have you ever taken a too-simplistic or reductionistic approach to a problem that turned out to be complex—physical, emotional, and spiritual all at once?
Prayer: Lord, as a modern person I love quick solutions for problems that you can access on a short YouTube video. But the world you’ve made has far more dimensions than anyone can imagine. Help me to be patient, to seek much advice, and to depend on you in order to make progress with my problems. Amen.
April 15
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. (12:25)
ANXIETY. The Hebrew word translated as anxiety means the emotional distress caused when something vital to your life is threatened.92 The key to dealing with anxiety is to look at our heart attitude toward the thing threatened. There are many things that are considered important for a high quality of life in this world. Yet as we have seen, if we rely on God the most, that makes everything else less vital and thus our lives less fragile.
Anxiety cannot be completely e
liminated. Because Paul loved his young churches, he was anxious for them (2 Corinthians 11:28), and yet he counsels us to avoid debilitating anxiety by deliberately resting our hearts in God rather than anything else (Philippians 4:6–9). In this proverb, however, we are told we should not try to deal with anxiety on our own. We need a kind word from others. We need people to affirm us, to relate their own experience, to point us to God, or even just to be there so we don’t feel so alone.
What helps you the most when you are anxious? Have you used all the spiritual resources you have for anxiety?
Prayer: Lord, you have instructed that I deal with anxiety through, among other things, thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6–9). So I thank you for all the ways in the past you took care of me. And I thank you ahead of time, knowing it will be wise and good, for whatever you do with my future. Amen.
April 16
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (13:12)
HOPE. At the core of the human heart are not just emotions but hopes—things we look to and trust in to make us happy. When something we long for is deferred or delayed, we become heart-sick.
It is wisdom to recognize that the condition of deferred hopes is one that can never be fully remedied in this life. The book of Hebrews likens the whole Christian life to the period when the Israelites had been delivered from slavery but were not yet in the Promised Land (Hebrews 11:13–14). The second clause of 13:12 is saying that when our longings are fulfilled, life flourishes briefly, as it did back in paradise, where we had access to the Tree of Life (Genesis 2:9). But the New Testament tells us we will know full satisfaction only in the new heavens and new earth (Revelation 22:2), which will be ours not through our efforts but through the work of Jesus Christ. As we have seen, his cross became a tree of death for him so that we could have the tree of life by faith. We face disappointment now by reminding ourselves of what is to come, guaranteed by Christ’s sacrifice.
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