by Violet Paige
I fought back tears as I looked in the decrepit mirror that hung across from my bed. A kitchenette sat right next to it, but there was nothing there that I needed to take with me. I'd only put a curtain up around the toilet in the sink and shower; there weren’t even walls in this place. As I looked around and chewed my lower lip, I realized that this would only buy me so much time. Luka would come looking for me, and I needed to figure out how to protect my heart before then. If I was going to complete this job for Roberto, I couldn’t love Luka. Those two things just didn’t work together.
But there was a battle raging in my heart, and Luka was still winning.
10
Luka
My mother went back upstairs to clean up the dishes. Our family moment was over. A part of me hated to see it end. My father drummed his fingers on the wooden table, assessing me, and I could tell he was getting impatient with our family bonding. He hated getting emotional with me. Sometimes, I felt he only treated me like a son to appease my mother.
“You know, we appreciate the time you spent serving the family.”
I nodded at him, still wiping my face off with a cloth napkin. “I know. There was a job to do, and I did it. It's as simple as that. Pops, no need to thank me.”
“You're right, I don't. But I should. I couldn't let them take her, you know that. She knew too much. She was a part of this family. I don't know why all of a sudden they took an interest in her.”
“I didn’t get it either. It all seemed so immediate, so messy.”
“It just didn't make any sense. After all that time? Why would he want her? Why would he want either of them? I mean, she didn't even know her father. And Maria? She left that drunken bastard years before.”
“I thought he left her.”
“Well, that's the way she told the story. Your mother and I knew her back then, and she left him. But it was because she needed to get out. She feared for her baby’s safety.”
My fists balled at my sides. I attempted not to rip the napkin right in half, but I settled down and placed my hands back down in my lap. I wouldn't let anyone hurt her.
“I bet Vienna wouldn't even remember him, not that she should. Poor child. Sometimes I think your mother worries about her. Wondering where she is. We never did find out what happened to her back then.”
I held my breath for a moment. I was lying to my father, and I didn’t like it. “It's a shame, really. She was like family.”
My father nodded knowingly. “To all of us. We would've done anything for the girl. But now? Good riddance!”
I squinted at him. A slight fear gripped my stomach. Did he figure out where Vienna was? “Why? What changed about the way you feel about Vienna?”
“No one told you?”
“Told me what?”
“She's with the Agnelli family now. They got her a job and everything, out-of-state somewhere. But you know them, they've got family in every major city on the East Coast. I'm sure she's lying on a beach somewhere.”
Agnelli family? How was that even possible? I knew exactly where she was, right here in Baltimore, at my apartment. Pops obviously had his communication wrong. He didn't have the facts.
“You sure about that, Pops? I mean, turning her back on us like that, going to the Agnellis? Why would she do that?”
“Money. Besides, she probably knows about what you did. I don't know how she couldn't.”
Blood rushed out of my face and a large knot formed inside my stomach. She couldn’t know, could she?
“We were just kids back then, and she didn't even know her father. There's no way she could know that I was the one who killed him.”
My father stood up, beginning to walk away, but he put his hand on my shoulder right before he did. “I wish I could tell you that you’re right, son, but people in this business talk. There's no way that Vienna doesn't know what you did. And whether you like it or not, one day she will come to you, for revenge.”
Fuck.
The woman who was lying in my bed right now could be a set up. And somehow all that I could think about was tasting her lips again.
I raced home for answers. I took every turn too fast, but I didn’t care. I had to know if what my father had said was true. If she was a traitor. And if she wasn’t, I would have my way with her again.
But when I pushed open my door, she was gone. The money I left for her was too. Shit. He had been right. She was after me. I sat down on the edge of my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. What the hell was I going to do?
I wanted her.
She wanted me dead.
I loved her and she left. Again I was here and she was gone, for the second time in my life Vienna had left me. And even though I shouldn’t care about some traitorous bitch, my chest hurt with the pain of her loss.
I wouldn’t look for her again. This time was it. We were done.
11
Vienna
Right before I left my apartment, I stood with my duffel bag in my hand and I dialed another number that I had memorized. It only took one ring before I heard his voice on the other end.
“Vienna? What's the matter?”
“He’s out.”
“Good. Anything else?”
I knew I had to lie about last night, I couldn’t tell Roberto I was running either. He would kill me if I failed him.
“No. I’m staying with a friend for a while, I’ll be touch when I know more.” Another lie.
“Good, good. We’ll talk soon.”
“Roberto,” I said with a tremble in my voice. “I don't think I can go through with this. I don't know what type of man my father was, but if Luka really did kill him, than it was for good reason. He's a good man.”
I knew he was, he had to be.
I needed him to be good.
Because he was good for me.
“No, he's not! He’s a Gioti, and you’re an Agnelli. There's no good men in that family. No one cared about your mother like we did. No one cared about you! Where the hell were they when Maria was killed? Pounding on your door and asking you to come live with them? I don't think so. We were there for you. We saved you. And don't you forget it.”
“I won't, ever. But I really think we have it wrong. If he did kill my father, there had to be some deeper reason.”
“You care about him, don’t you?”
I shook my head, “No.”
“Then do your fucking job Vienna. Call me when you have the information I want.”
It seemed simple to Roberto. But it wasn't to me. I was stuck between two lives. He wasn't there that night. He didn't hear my mother's screams. He didn’t see her blood stained face. He just saw her lifeless body in the casket. I remembered thinking it looked like she was sleeping. I remembered Roberto, my uncle, crying over her, while I knew that after that night, I would never be the same.
He also wasn’t falling in love with a killer. I wanted to trust Luka so much. It was why I ran, I couldn’t handle both.
“I'll be in touch,” I said. Roberto scared the hell out of me. I had to continue to play my part for him. Even though I didn’t want to live a double life anymore. I just wanted to start over. Even though I needed to know the truth.
I could hear him smiling on the other end of the line. “Of course you will.” Sick bastard.
I took one last look at my apartment and pulled the door shut behind me. I locked the door and took the keys down to the front office. No one was inside, so I put them in an envelope and tucked them in the mail slot. They could try to find me for the rent, but I doubt that they would. It wasn't that type of place. I clutched my duffel bag next to me and got into the cab.
“Where to next?”
I opened up my wallet and looked at the wad of hundreds I had in there from Luka. “Fourth and Pine, the apartment complex on the corner, and I’ll pay you an extra fifty to never tell anyone I was in this cab, that good?”
He sped off in the direction of Leah’s apartment and I looked out the window, rolling th
e locket between my fingers. I wished my mother was here. Maybe she could tell me what to do.
12
Vienna
Days passed, and as I was standing next to the window with my fingers curled around the curtain peering out I heard Leah come up behind me. That window had become my post, I spent most days standing there looking, waiting. Trying to breathe through my terror. I tried not to spin around as fast as I had been, she had already commented twice on how jumpy I was, but what she didn't know was that the mob was probably after me. Either Luka was looking for me, or my own uncle was seeking me out, either way at any moment someone would come take me away from this place. I slowly turned around cognizant of her eyes on me. She set two mugs of tea on the coffee table and beckoned me to sit down with her. I sat down on the worn brown leather sofa, she told me a friend had given it to her last year when they upgraded to new furniture. I could tell that she was hard up, I bought groceries a couple times since I'd been there and offered to pay a few bills with what I had left from Luka. Besides the groceries, she wouldn't hear of it. She knew I wasn't working, and I think part of her knew that I was on the run from something more sinister than an old flame.
“Vienna, you have to tell me what's going on. You can't live like this! It's just not healthy.” I looked into her trusting brown eyes and I knew that she was trying to be honest with me. She didn't want to see me get hurt. How could I tell her that I had done this myself? That I knowingly put myself into danger in the form of attempting to set up a mob boss’s son? I no idea what I was going to do.
“I was involved with someone. But I shouldn't have been, he’s dangerous. He doesn’t come from a good family. But then again neither do I.” I took a sip of my tea and I heard a car door slam. Immediately I felt like my skin set on fire as I lifted my eyes to peek out the window again.
“A family? Like the mob?”
I chewed on my lower lip while I nodded slowly. I set the mug back down on the coffee table. “Yes. I come from a mob family, and so does the guy that I was involved with. And I shouldn't have been. It was dangerous. But I couldn't help myself.”
“You never can with the bad boys. Part of the attraction. But you’re away from him now, so what's holding you back from moving on? Maybe even go back to Jersey?”
I shook my head. “The only reason I'm here is because my uncle sent me. If I come back empty-handed, I don't know what he'll do to me.” Far worse than what would've happened to me had I stayed with Luka, that was for sure.
“Okay, so what's the plan? I mean you can stay here as long as you like, don't think is this is about you leaving. I just hate to see you like this, so nervous all the time. You used to be so full of life Vienna, I just don't want to see you hurt.”
“I know, I know. Your heart is in the right place. I just need a little bit more time to figure all of this out. Maybe a couple weeks? I promise things will get better the longer I'm away.”
That was a lie. I knew it as soon as it escaped my lips. But she smiled in a comforting way and for a moment I tried to believe it.
A couple weeks later Leah was standing in the kitchen dictating a grocery list to me. I hadn't been out of the house since I moved in here. Anytime she needed anything I just gave her money, but I hadn't actually done any shopping myself. But today I was going to break out of this invisible prison I had built for myself. I was going to the grocery store, and that was a big step. I was going to go out and mingle with society. And I hoped to nothing happened to me because of it.
Luka hadn't tried to make any contact. It wasn't like he had my phone number, but he had found that where I worked pretty easily. I'd given a physical description of him to Leah so she could be on the lookout, but she said he hadn't shown up to the diner. So I guess the he understood me running was us being over. Every time I thought about it my heart broke a little bit. Why did things have to be this way?
Roberto had called twice, last time the message was clear. He knew I wasn’t following Luka closely, and he was pissed. I had to figure out some way to find out where Luka was hiding out. Maybe his family still owned that club downtown, I could watch from there and maybe not get caught.
But a part of me wanted to be.
Jesus my feelings for Luka made me a wreck.
“Vienna? Did you get that?”
I lifted my eyes up to meet hers, “Yeah. Milk, wheat bread, tampons, and you want me to get brownies or something? I mean I get the whole PMS thing.…”
She laughed as my face froze in its position. The pencil slipped from my fingers and fell to floor with a light sound that could only be heard by the mice that probably lived in the walls. Leah's face quickly showed her concern.
“Vienna? Vienna what's wrong?”
I couldn't be. I ran to the living room and grabbed my phone paging through to the calendar. There was no way. I couldn't be… pregnant? Could I? It was there in black and white shouting in my face as I scrolled through weeks and counted, I was two weeks late. I should've gotten my period right after moving in here, but instead I'd been period free for nearly seven weeks. Shit.
There was only one guy I had been left in the past year, Luka. Leah followed me and put her hand on my shoulder spinning me around. “Vienna what is going on?”
I showed her the calendar as if she would understand. “I think I'm pregnant.”
She raised an eyebrow at me as her mouth dropped open a little. “Pregnant? The mob guy?”
I nodded slowly. “I'm going to the grocery store. I'm getting a pregnancy test.”
I snatched my purse off the couch and grabbed her keys. I was on the road in a matter of moments. Every part of me wanted to drive back to Luka’s apartment right then and confront him. Tell him I was having his baby, that he needed to reform and change his ways. He would have to tell me the truth about my parents. But I couldn’t do that. I'd run away. I separated us for what could've been forever, but the baby that was potentially growing inside of me could link us for the rest of our lives.
And in ways I didn't understand that prospect made me happiest of all.
13
Vienna
I clutched my duffle in my hand trembling with anticipation. I knocked on the door and waited. Leah had tried to talk to me out of it. She told me I could stay with her, that there was no reason to go back. That she would help me raise my baby. But I couldn’t do it. I had to own up to the truth with Luka, I had to give him a chance to prove himself. He was going to be a father after all. I used the last of the money he gave me to buy a new outfit, after leaving a couple hundred dollars for Leah. I wanted to help with rent and she wouldn’t let me, so I waited until she left for work and put it in her bedroom. I would miss how good she had been to me, but I wouldn’t forget it. She would be this kid’s godparent for sure, and I would make sure Luka’s family helped take care of her.
The door flew open in front of me just as I was about to knock again. Luka’s eyes grew wide as he continued to talk on the phone.
“All that I'm saying is you better make sure the warehouses are clear, Marco. That's your job as the muscle. I'm doing my part, and you have to do yours.”
He waited for Marco's response.
“Fine, I’ll see you on Friday night. And don't forget mass on Sunday. My mom is gonna blow a gasket if we’re both not there.”
He clicked off the call and put his rough hands on my face and pulling me into him. A hastened kiss fell upon my lips before he put my bottom lip between his teeth and ground it gently. “I missed you,” he said as we broke away.
“I'm here now.”
“You are. Come in.”
He was so soft with me, totally different than he had been with Marco. I was surprised, I expected him to be angry, but honestly I thought he was too surprised to be mad. “What was that all about?”
He rolled his eyes. “Just business.”
“They already have you working again?”
He shrugged. “There's no vacation in this business. Besides, I have
a lot to catch up on. So what about you? I like your new outfit.”
I turned around and started to show off a little in front of him. “I hope so, you paid for it.”
He leaned back against the couch, unbuttoning his jacket. “It looks good.”
We stood awkwardly in silence for a moment. Finally he spoke, “You left.”
“I did.”
“Why? I promised I’d protect you. I’ll keep you safe Vienna, I wasn’t lying when I told you how I felt.”
I chewed on my lower lip. I couldn't tell him what I'd done. He had no idea that I was part of the Agnelli family. He had no idea that my mother had died at the hands of the mob only for me to join another one. I couldn't tell him that some of his biggest rivals were my blood. So I continued with my lie.
“I know you weren’t but I was afraid. I don’t want to lose you.” So that part was true, I was afraid, afraid of my feelings for him. Afraid that I couldn’t complete my job. And now I was carrying another secret, his child.
He pulled me close to him. “You don’t ever have to be afraid again. Stay, stay with me.” Against my better judgement I melted against him. “Tell me all your secrets,” he whispered in my ear.
I stiffened. Did he know? About who I was? About the baby? Or was I paranoid?
I tried to play it off.
“I brought groceries, I was going to make dinner.” I walked back over to the door and held up a bag of groceries.
“We can still do that, after.”
“After?”
“Don’t think you’ll get away with walking around in an outfit like that. Strip.”
I set the groceries back down next to the door. “Excuse me?”
He loosened his tie around his neck. I watched his hands carefully, scars etched into his knuckles, imprints of his past. “I said strip. I don't think I stuttered.”
