Deeper Than Desire

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Deeper Than Desire Page 33

by Cheryl Holt


  "He's a rather fine gentleman." She was strutting about, comfortable with her nudity, with the situation. "Handsome, intelligent, compassionate, dynamic, brave, loyal, and true. He possesses all the traits a woman craves in a man, and he's about to be endowed with property that will earn him an excellent income. I couldn't pass up the opportunity."

  What a mercenary leech! Astounded and aghast, he hadn't realized she harbored such ruthless tendencies!

  Facetiously, he countered, "No, you definitely shouldn't miss out on such a remarkable fellow! Felicitations, Lady O, on your shrewd maneuvering. I hope your rich catch garners you all the happiness you deserve."

  She laughed again! Had she no shame? No regard for his feelings? He would have done anything for her, would have given her the world, made any sacrifice, scaled any hurdle, sustained any hardship, and this was how she repaid him!

  372

  "Please leave," he pleaded. But she didn't budge, so he snarled, "At once!"

  "Oh, you silly oaf," she gently chided. "I'm teasing you."

  "About what?"

  "It's you, you fool! I'm going to marry you!”

  "Well, isn't that grand, Lady Olivia, but I haven't asked you to marry me." Not today, anyway. He'd offered in the past, but he was no longer interested. He couldn't abide the whirlwind she put him through.

  He was anxious to reclaim his sedate life—the one he'd enjoyed before she'd burst into it, where he'd been surrounded by his cottage, and his horses, and his stablemates. He'd thrived on routine and habit, on the spasmodic relationship with his father.

  He yearned for peace and quiet. No discord. No upheaval. No sorrow or adversity. He wanted to be left alone.

  "Go ahead, then," she needled. "I'll accept."

  She was batting her lashes, positive he'd relent, that he'd leap at the chance to demean himself. He wouldn't! He couldn't! He couldn't put himself at risk.

  She was grinning, waiting, but he said nothing, and her smile began to falter, then faded entirely. It was as if the lamp had been extinguished, or the sun had flitted behind a dark cloud.

  Bucking up, he declined to pity her, or pay any heed to how he'd dashed her excitement.

  "Unless you don't really want me," she murmured, and it was a grotesque reenactment of the evening he'd begged her to elope, only in reverse. "Unless you never meant it."

  "Oh, I meant it, all right. Every damned time. I just grew tired of being told no."

  373

  "I won't say no."

  "How convenient. I've met many women of the ton, but I do believe you're the most inconstant of them all." He gestured around the small, unpretentious room. "This is who I am, what I have. My father is dangling a potentiality before me—which may or may not come to fruition— and suddenly you're dying to wed me. What if it never transpires? What if he never follows through, and you're stuck with this tiny cottage?" Leaning nearer, he sneered, "What if you meet someone tomorrow who can provide you with more?"

  "Is that what you suppose this is about? That you might inherit a bit of land so now I'm eager?"

  "That's what I'm sure it's about." He pointed to the door, wanting the hideous quarrel to end. "Go!"

  She studied him, and he could see her irritation escalating. Her cheeks flushed with color, her pulse pounded. "Do you have any notion of what the last few days have been like for me?" She marched over to him—naked breasts and all—and jabbed an irate finger at his chest. "Do you?"

  "Well... I... I..." Having concluded that she was delighted at snagging her earl, he hadn't pondered what she'd been through. It hadn't occurred to him that she might have been miserable, that she might have been laboring under dire stress, herself.

  His resolve started to melt. He'd erected a wall around his heart, and though he struggled to keep it in place, it commenced collapsing, brick by brick.

  "Penny tattled to Margaret about our affair. Remember? I informed you that she would."

  "Yes, I remember."

  "Margaret confronted me, and I insisted I couldn't marry Edward, that I loved you. So she threatened me.

  374

  She said that she had put Helen in a hospital. If I didn't proceed, she would never bring Helen home, or reveal where she was."

  "I didn't know that," he grumbled.

  "No, you didn't." She continued to jab her finger at him, emphasizing each important word. "Then, somehow, she lured Edward into my bedchamber in the middle of the night. Margaret conveniently walked in on us, with Penny as a witness, so Edward had to propose to avoid a scandal."

  So that's how it had happened. He'd been curious. "It must have been difficult for you."

  "Difficult!" She was the one shouting now. "Let me explain the meaning of difficult! When I stumbled downstairs the next morning, the staff was making wedding preparations. The invitations had been penned and sent to the neighbors. I felt as if I'd been trampled by a wild stallion, and there was nothing I could do." She shoved him and stalked away. "Don't stand there with your sad eyes, chastising and berating me, and complaining about how you've been abused. For I declare to you that whatever indignity you suffered couldn't possibly compare with what I've been through, and I've had all of the nonsense and drama I can handle!"

  He chuckled, infuriating her even more. "You have, have you?"

  "Yes, and I'm at my wit's end. So ask me! And be quick about it, before I lose my temper!"

  She was a sight, her golden hair streaming down, her blue eyes glowing with wrath. Garbed solely in her diaphanous pants, she was trembling with rage, her chin defiantly stuck out, and she looked like an ancient goddess, an Amazon warrior. If a lightning bolt had crackled forth to smite him, he wouldn't have been surprised.

  ".Well?:: she demanded.

  375

  Impatient, she tapped her toe and crossed her arms over her bosom, tantalizing him with glimpses of her nipples. Half-dressed and giving him what-for, she had him utterly flustered.

  He didn't want to be angry. He didn't want to fight. It disturbed him to learn how upset she'd been, to hear details of what she'd endured. She'd been in anguish, had been frightened and troubled, but she hadn't sought him out.

  Did she think he wouldn't have helped her?

  "Why didn't you tell me?" he queried.

  "Because she said she'd kill Helen. And I couldn't let her. Helen is all I have left of my parents and my brother."

  He had no doubt that Margaret had coerced her, or that she would have progressed to murder if thwarted. In his opinion, Margaret was insane, capable of any nefarious act, and if it had been up to him, she'd already be in a coach, and on her way to Bedlam. Luckily for her, it was Winnie's choice, and not his own.

  She began to cry. "I don't care if we live in a hovel. I don't care if we wear rags. I don't care if we eat offal to survive. I just need to be with you."

  "Oh, Livvie."

  "My world has been turned upside down. I've lost almost everything that mattered to me. Don't force me to go on alone. I can't."

  He couldn't remain detached, couldn't judge or condemn her, couldn't castigate her for carrying on as best she could. His animosity vanished like leaves in the wind.

  "As if I could stay away."

  He opened his arms, and she rushed into them, and he hugged her with all his might, thrilled—as always— to discover how perfectly she fit. He kissed her hair, her cheeks.

  376

  "I know what you need," she said.

  "And what is that?"

  "You need a home of your own. A family. Children to love." She pulled away and assessed him. "Let me give them to you. Let me make you happy."

  Gazing down at her, he massaged her warm skin, inhaled her dear scent. He felt whole, complete. For the very first time. Every dream he'd ever had seemed as if it could come true.

  Visions danced in his head, of a successful horse farm, with some of England's finest animals. Of a cozy house, filled with boisterous, giggling children. Edward and Winnie would be doting grandparents, with a
family of their own besides. Helen and Rebecca would be merry, vivacious cousins to both of their increasing broods.

  And Livvie. Forever Livvie, welcoming him home after a long, hard day. To what more could a man aspire? What more did a man need?

  Smiling, he felt as though he might burst with joy. "Yes, please," he answered her. "Marry me. Make me happy."

 

 

 


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