“Can’t blame them for being romantics.” Wes slung his arm around her shoulders and looked down at Zara. “Wow. She’s gorgeous.”
“I know.” Noella sighed and nestled the baby closer.
“Hey, guys, sorry, I was caught up on the phone. I’ll go grab the pizza now.” Jake rushed out of the bedroom, kissed my cheek and Zara’s forehead, and then went for the door.
“I’ll go with you.” Wes trailed after him.
“Boy time.” Noella grinned.
“Do they go to the bathroom together too?” I laughed.
“I bet they do. So Mom called and said that you’re having some kind of dinner party on Friday night?”
“Oh, right, I meant to tell you but I kept forgetting. You’re welcome to come too. Jake’s parents will be here. It’s just a chance for everyone to meet Zara.”
“I think that’s a great idea. But you haven’t forgotten just how Mom is, have you?” She met my eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, she’s not afraid to give you her opinion and she has a lot of them. Just keep that in mind and don’t let her get to you.”
“I’ll do my best.” I smiled. “Thanks for the reminder. I’m sure once she sees this precious little girl, she won’t have anything but nice things to say.”
“You’re probably right.” She bounced Zara gently in her arms. “I’m just so glad that you’re all home. I can only imagine how tired you are. We won’t stay too long tonight.”
“I’m doing okay, I think. But it’s hard. One minute I feel like I’m on top of everything and everything is wonderful, and the next I’m feeling overwhelmed and lost.” I sighed.
“It can be quite a roller coaster. The most important thing is to never stop talking about how you’re feeling. The more you reach out, the easier it will become. You know I’m always here for you, right?”
“Yes, I know.” I squeezed her hand. “I’m the luckiest sister in the world.”
“I think we can both claim that title.” She smiled. “We’ve always had each other, Hanna, and now we have an amazing group of friends and men in our lives. Things keep getting better and better. Yes, there may be moments that feel impossible, but the great ones outweigh those—always.”
“You’re right.” I took a deep breath. “That’s what I need to focus on.”
“That and pizza.” She grinned as the front door opened. “Let’s eat!”
Chapter 21
The next few days were a whirlwind. It took more than a little time for Zara and me to adjust to being at home, and though Jake made his best effort to help, when it came down to it, Zara and I were the ones that needed to figure it out. With the dinner party fast approaching and Zara unhappy unless she was with me, I had no idea how I was going to get things ready in time.
“I really need to go to the store.” I frowned. “I’m supposed to be meeting with Zoe to plan Dawn’s engagement party and I honestly have no idea what supplies I need to get for that. Do you know that I honestly thought it was Tuesday all morning? Then when I realized that it was Wednesday I started to cry. I mean how ridiculous is that?”
“Honey, you’ve got to relax.” Jake wrapped his arms around me. “We can always order out, and why not just have the engagement party at Common Grounds? I’m sure Alex will help you out with everything you need.”
“Oh, you’re a genius!” I hugged him tight. “That’s a perfect idea. I’ll call her right now. No, wait, I need to go to the store right now. I don’t want to eat any more greasy foods. Besides, your mother will never tolerate that.”
“My mom will be just fine as long as you hand the baby over to her.” He laughed. “And speaking of that, why don’t you just leave Zara with me for a little while and go ahead out to the store? You’ll feel better once you have the chance to get out.”
“Without Zara?” My eyes widened. “I don’t think I can do that.”
“Sweetie, I love how much you love her, but it’s okay for you to take some time for yourself. As long as you’re here she’s only going to want you. If you’re not here, she’ll calm down and learn that her dad isn’t so bad.”
“What if she doesn’t calm down? When she cries too much she spits up, you know that, Jake.” I crossed my arms.
“She will, hon. If by some chance she doesn’t, I’ll call you to come home.” He looked into my eyes. “I went to my business deal, right? It was so hard for me to leave her. Do you really think I love her any less because I did that?”
“No, of course not.” I sighed. “But the thought of leaving her—it’s just so hard.”
“I know it is. And you can take that step when you’re ready. It doesn’t have to be today. But I want you to know that if you do want it to be today, I will be here to help you through it. Do you want to see if you can make it to the store?”
“I really do need to pick some things up. But what if she gets sick, or really hungry?”
“If anything seems the least bit off, I’ll call you right away. If you’re going to go, now is the best time. She just went down for a nap.”
“Alright. Yes.” My heart felt like it might pound right out of my chest. Could I really leave her? She was asleep and would probably still be asleep by the time I got back. I knew that it was silly of me to be so nervous. But she was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
I grabbed my purse and keys and was almost out the door when I heard her whimper. “Oops, she’s awake—I guess I’ll have to stay.” I started toward the nursery.
“Wait, give her a second.” Jake held up one finger. Zara didn’t make another sound. “See, she went back to sleep. Now go before she wakes up for real!” He steered me back toward the door.
As I stepped through it, I almost expected a rope to yank me back in. Zara and I hadn’t just been together for a couple of weeks, we’d been together throughout my entire pregnancy. Everywhere I went, she went. Was I really ready to leave her behind?
My hand shook as I slid the key into the ignition. I closed my eyes for a second and reminded myself that this was part of the healing process too. I needed to remember that I was my own person, not just a mother, but still Hanna—and Hanna never had a problem with going to the store.
Once I started driving, I began to relax. I turned on some music to soothe my nerves, but then turned it back down, as I was worried I wouldn’t be able to hear the phone if it rang. But it didn’t ring. Not while I was driving and not while I was at the store and not even when I loaded the groceries into the trunk of the car. My mind began to spin.
What if Jake had lost his phone? What if cell service was down? What if he was so overwhelmed that he couldn’t even call me?
I dialed his number and held my breath as the phone rang. When he answered, I could hear Zara screaming in the background.
“Oh no, what happened? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Jake sounded a little tense. “Everything’s fine.”
“It doesn’t sound fine. Jake, why didn’t you call me?” I started the car, eager to get back to the house. “You promised that you would call me.”
“Hanna, she was sound asleep. My cell phone ringing was what woke her up. Now I have to go. Drive home safe, okay?”
“Oh wow, I’m sorry.” I frowned as I hung up the phone.
Her cries echoed through my mind as I drove toward the house. I went a little faster than I usually did. I tried to remain calm and rational, but my mind just kept replaying the fact that she was upset and I wasn’t there. How terrible a mother was I?
When I reached the house I practically ran into it.
Jake spun around with Zara in his arms and put his finger to his lips.
“I just got her back to sleep.”
“Okay, I’ll take her.” I reached for her.
“I’ll put her down, relax. I’ll be right back to help with the groceries.”
“Are you sure she’s okay? She doesn’t have a fever or anything?” I followed him toward
the nursery.
“She’s fine, sweetheart, I promise. She just got startled. I should have turned the volume down on my phone.”
As he carried her into the nursery, I tried to calm myself down.
Chapter 22
“There, she’s all settled.” Jake grabbed a grocery bag to unload and smiled at me as he did. “See, no disasters.”
“Except for the one that I created.” I frowned. “Do you think it’s odd that I’m so nervous?”
“Not at all. I’d be a bit concerned if you weren’t, to be honest. And while I’m being honest…” He set another bag on the counter. “I was a mess while you were gone. She was fine, but I was sure I was going to mess something up. So, trust me, you’re not the only nervous one. We just need to be there for each other. We’re both new at this, and so is Zara. But we’ll figure it all out.”
He tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “And there’s no one else I would rather be figuring it out with. I feel so lucky that you are Zara’s mother, never doubt that.”
“Aw, Jake.” I smiled as I hugged him. “You always know exactly how to make me feel better.”
“That’s good, because my mom called and asked if they could come Thursday instead. What do you think?”
“Tomorrow?” I took a sharp breath. “But the house is a mess and I need to take a shower and I wanted to get your mother a special grandmother present and what if—”
“Okay, I’ll tell her Friday.”
“No, don’t do that.” I frowned. “You know what, it’s fine. I can handle this. It’s no big deal. I’ll just call my mom and Noella to make sure they can still make it. It’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” He looked into my eyes. “I don’t want to put too much pressure on you.”
“I’m sure. I’ll be fine. Of course, we’re all family, right? No big deal.”
For the rest of the day and well into the next, I tried to convince myself that everything really would be fine. The laundry got done, the dishes were put away, and I pulled the vacuum out of the closet. Every time I thought about vacuuming, however, Zara would fall asleep. I didn’t want to wake her, so I just let the vacuum sit in the middle of the living room.
As Jake helped me get dinner started I realized I’d never taken a shower.
“Jake, I’ve got to take a shower!”
“My parents aren’t going to know you haven’t taken a shower.” He shrugged.
“I look horrible and I smell worse.” I shook my head. “I have to take one.”
“Alright, go ahead; I can keep an eye on the chicken, and Zara’s sound asleep.”
“Which is why I haven’t been able to vacuum yet.” I sighed as I stared at it still sitting in the middle of the living room. “I’ll just hop in real quick and then run the vacuum when I get out. Zara should be ready to nurse by then.”
“Okay, sounds like a great plan.” He leaned close. “Unless you want me to join you—that would be much better.”
“Ha, no.” I playfully shoved his roaming hands away and headed for the bathroom—the bathroom! I’d forgotten to clean the bathroom! Of all the rooms in the house, the bathroom had to be clean when I had guests over. It was just how things had to be.
I grabbed some cleaner and a sponge and started to scrub. But as I did, I got even more sweaty. I decided I could take a shower and clean the shower and tub at the same time. Of course, the soap made the bathtub especially slippery.
From outside the bathroom door I heard Jake call out to me.
“They’re early!”
“Oh no!” My hair was full of shampoo. Zara woke up crying at that moment. I gasped and started to climb out of the shower, but my foot slipped in the soap on the bottom of the tub and all of a sudden I was weightless—at least until I came crashing down into the tub. I blinked as the world spun around me and pain shot up through my back and shoulder.
“Hanna?” I heard Jake call out to me. Zara was still crying.
Then I heard Jake’s mother and father calling out to him.
“I’m okay.” I managed to call out but the water was still running and he must not have heard me. The next sound was his shoulder slamming into the bathroom door.
“Jake?” I gasped as he barreled inside with his mother and father only a few steps behind him.
“Should I call an ambulance?” His mother peered past him into the bathroom.
Mortified, I grabbed the shower curtain in an attempt to cover myself, which only caused the rod to dislodge and the whole thing to come crashing down on Jake, who had leaned over to check on me.
“Ouch!”
“Someone get the baby!” Jake’s father huffed. “She’s crying!”
“I’ll get her!” His mother disappeared.
“Hanna, are you okay?” Jake peered at me through the steam and the rushing water. I could only imagine the sight I was sprawled across the bathtub.
“No.” I blinked back tears. “No, I’m definitely not okay.”
“I mean, are you hurt?” He turned off the water.
“I don’t think so.” I eased myself up into a sitting position. “Just a little sore.”
“That’s a relief.” He wiped some shampoo away from my forehead. “Can you stand up?”
“I think so.” I grabbed his arm and stood up slowly. The bathtub was still slick. “I’m so sorry, Jake.”
“Honey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m just glad that you’re okay.”
But I wasn’t okay, not at all, as I realized I’d have to face his parents. Who knew how much they’d seen, and how could I explain that I’d slipped in the tub because I was trying to shower and clean it at the same time?
Zara was still whimpering. I knew she was hungry. I took a deep breath.
“Let me just rinse off and I’ll get Zara.”
As I turned the water back on, the smoke alarm went off.
“The chicken!” Jake gasped and ran out of the bathroom.
Chapter 23
As I squeezed the last of the shampoo out of my hair I wondered how I could possibly recover from this disaster. All I wanted to do was dissolve into the floor and never exist again. But Zara needed to eat, and I didn’t want Jake to have to handle the ruined dinner all by himself.
As I pulled my clothes on, I heard the door open and close again.
“What is that smell?” I recognized my mother’s voice and cringed. “Is that the baby? Why is she crying? Where’s Hanna?”
I pushed open the broken bathroom door and walked out into the living room. As I took Zara from Jake’s mother’s arms, she sighed.
“Do you really want to hold the baby when your hair is wet? What if she gets a chill?”
“I’ll do my best to keep her dry. I’m so sorry for all of this. It’s not how I wanted our night to go.” Zara squirmed, demanding to be fed.
“Wait, don’t take her away, I didn’t even get to see her.” My mother cooed at her as I started toward the bedroom.
“I just need to feed her and then everyone can see her.” I smiled. “Jake? Are you going to order a pizza?”
“Already on it.” He stepped out of the kitchen, his cheeks red. “I’m sorry about the chicken.”
“Why were you cooking the chicken?” His mother frowned. “I would have thought Hanna would make dinner.”
“Why is that?” My mother stared at her. “Just because she’s a woman she has to be the one to make dinner?”
“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Jake frowned as he stepped between them.
“She can tell me what she meant.” My mother crossed her arms.
“Please, just give us a minute and we can all enjoy some time together.” I met my mother’s eyes.
“And why are you going into the bedroom to feed her? You should be able to sit in your living room and nurse—while we all visit.” She smiled. “The sofa looks comfortable.”
“Oh no, I don’t—”
“My husband isn’t used to that kind of stuff.�
�� Jake’s mother waved her hand. “I nursed Jake but I always went into another room.”
“Well, times have changed. Haven’t they, honey?” She looked at me, her eyes lit up with passion.
“I just want a few minutes. I fell in the shower and I just want to get Zara calmed down. I’ll be right out, okay?” I turned and headed for the bedroom before anyone could stop me.
By the time Zara latched on I had tears running down my cheeks and I could barely get a full breath in. When I heard the door open and close again I was relieved to hear the sound of my sister’s voice. A few moments later there was a light knock on the bedroom door.
“Hanna? Can I come in?”
“Yes, please.” I tried to wipe my eyes, but it didn’t seem to help. I could only imagine what I looked like to her as she stepped into the room.
“Oh, sweetie, what happened?” She sat down next to me and pulled my wet hair away from my shoulders.
“I never vacuumed. It’s still sitting in the middle of the living room.” I teared up again.
“Hanna.” She squeezed my shoulders. “You have to relax. You’re not on trial here, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
“The worst part is, it’s not even Mom or Jake’s mother that have me upset. It’s me. If I can’t pull off a simple dinner party how can I expect to handle anything else?”
“First of all, this is not a normal dinner party. This is a family party and that always creates more drama. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Just do your best to smile through it. No one is going to get along, everyone is going to want the baby, and opinions will be shared, but in the end, everyone will go home and it will all be over.” She leaned close and kissed the top of Zara’s head. “You’ll be able to focus on your little one and put all of this behind you. How amazing is that?”
“Yes, amazing.” I sighed and wiped my eyes again. “But I’m pretty sure Jake’s dad saw me naked in the shower and I might have given Jake a concussion.”
“That’s not so bad.” Noella laughed, then cringed. “Okay, yes, that’s pretty bad. But it’s over now, nothing you can do about it. If Jake’s dad is half as polite and kind as his son, then he will never mention it. As for Jake, I’m sure he’s been through worse.”
Then Comes Baby Page 7
