When we reach the water, he drops to the grass and leans back on his palms. “Gettin’ warmer.” He looks around.
I loosen my tie and drop beside him.
After a minute or two, he sighs. “You remember that summer we met your cousins and their friends in Chicago?”
“Yeah.” I pull a piece of overgrown grass and toss it.
“We went to that Bears game?”
A light chuckle escapes. “Yeah, and Mason got pissed when Ari’s friend was flirting with me.”
My dad shakes his head, grinning. “Then got mad when Ari started flirtin’ with his friend.”
I laugh, leaning back to match my dad’s position. “I knew she had a thing for Chase. Mason put a stop to that quick.”
My dad scoffs. “Or so he thinks. Ari’s an amazing girl. I think Chase will see it eventually. Though, I’d hate to be the guy that falls for his best friend’s little sister.” He laughs.
I nod, but can’t find it in me to care right now.
My dad sighs. “That game we went to, Nate; the Bears played the Tomahawks.”
My head snaps to my dad’s, eyes narrowing slightly.
He watches me for moment, studying me. “It was a playoff game, remember?”
I nod, scanning his face.
“She was there, Nate. She and her family. Her dad was the one who took our pictures in front of the stadium.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
He doesn’t snap at me for my tone or my words, but looks away, guilt shadowing his features for a moment.
“I figured out who she was the day I met her,” he admits quietly. “Put two and two together based on what I knew; her story and her name.” He pushes up, lifting one knee to rest his arm on. “Didn’t tie her to that event until you guys had your fallout, and I started to really think everything through.”
I scrub my hands down my face, unsure how to handle this situation, confused if it even matters at this point. “Why you telling me this, Dad?”
He ignores my question. “Remember that quarterback camp you flew out to a few years back, at SDU? The one Mason submitted your highlight reel to, without telling you?”
“Yeah, Dad. I remember.” I turn my scowl on him. “What about it?”
“Did you know that program was created and funded by the Tomahawks? Their head coach, Lee Embers, ran that camp. He took you under his wing that summer.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Son, listen to me. What your mom and I have…” His dark brows raise and he nods. “It’s special. As sad as it is, most people who have been married, or together as long as we have, don’t have that zing anymore. They don’t get their breath stolen from their lungs when their wives first step outta bed, get lost in her eyes when she looks up at them, or blinded by her smile.”
I wish he’d stop talking.
I palm at my chest.
“Yeah,” he chuckles to himself. “What we have is really something.” He locks his eyes on mine. “But what you and Lolli have?” He raises a brow and I frown at him. “That’s once in a lifetime. Once.”
“Dad-”
“I’m dead serious, son. I’ve never witnessed the kind of connection you two have. Hell, I’m not even sure I believed in it until she came along.” He shakes his head. “It’s almost too much to watch you two together. You’re so attuned to one another, it’s as if you’re one person. You know what she needs without her telling you. You have deep, meaningful moments with just your eyes.”
“Dad-”
“And when that girl laughs, I swear to God, I can see it leave her and run through you. You live for it. For her.”
“Yeah, well. Sucks to be me, I guess.” I hop to my feet and start toward the house.
“Nate, damn it.” He catches up to my quick strides. “Don’t you get it?”
I stop, dropping my head back. “Get what, Dad?” I lift my face to see his frown mirrors mine. “Get that the girl I’m, as you just pointed out, desperately in fucking love with doesn’t give a shit about me, and took off without caring to glance back? No, Dad, I don’t get it!”
Again, I expect him to smack the shit out of me for talking to him like this, but it never comes. Instead, he squares his shoulders and stands tall.
“You don’t find it weird that, throughout your life, you’ve had multiple opportunities to meet her, and never did?” He doesn’t give me time to answer. “‘Cause I sure as hell do. I think this is how it was all supposed to happen. Your lives have been mixed and intertwined for years without your knowledge, but the universe knew you two weren’t ready for each other then. You needed to live, Nate. To screw up a bit before she came to you. Otherwise you’d have never seen her worth, her particular type of perfection. Without your regret, you’d never have had something, or someone, to be better for.
“And, as messed up as it is, she needed to see what life was lacking, experience pain and loss, and figure out her own way of handling it before she had you to lean on. Or else she never would have needed you, never would have searched your soul for her safe place. She’d have gone through life taking it only as it came, never truly living, or loving. That’s the only way it could happen; through her terrible losses.”
His theory makes sense, in a fucked-up movie kind of way. She came here and shook me to the core, right when I needed it. I quit the partying that threatened to ruin everything, because I didn’t like the way she looked at me, like I was a typical guy. I had a breakout year in football, earning pretty much my choice of schools because knowing she was sitting there, watching me, pushed me to work harder. To make her proud.
I didn’t want to be typical to her. I wanted to be all she could ever want and more. I wanted to be her everything, like she quickly and without my knowledge, became mine. And I was so sure I succeeded. I was so sure she felt me with every cell in her body, like I do her.
I bite the inside of my cheek, my nostrils flaring, as I try to keep my emotions in check in front the man I look up to. I lift my shaky gaze to his.
“I don’t know what happened. Heard the bit you told your mom, but I can see it in your eyes; you’re not convinced. I know you’re scared of the truth, pissed and hurt, but ask yourself, Nate,” he places a hand on my shoulder, his dark eyes locked on mine, “what’ll be worse? Finding out it was true, that she didn’t love you? Or never knowing for sure, always wondering if you still hold a piece of her, like she always will for you?”
My shoulders drop and I look off to the side.
“She was made for you, Nathaniel. The other piece of your soul. She came to you, was given to you, when you were ready for her, when you needed her. Way I see it, things are coming around now. It was only right something happened now, to test you, like she was tested.” My gaze returns to his and he gives a resolute nod. “It’s your turn now. Go to her when she needs you most.
Well, shit.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m running on edge, hoping I don’t fumble. I need my dad’s words to be true, need to prove to my fucked-up head that my beat-up heart is right. But right or wrong, the bottom line is I have to know what happened. I’m fucked up in a bad way. I only know of one person who can help me in the end, but first things first.
I hop out of my truck and jog to the door, knocking on it loudly. Sure, I could have used my phone, but chances are she’d ignore me, out of whatever fear is cookin’ in her mind, so I figured just showing up was best.
As expected, Mia flings the door open with a scowl. “What are you doing here, and why are you pounding on my door like a damn sheriff?”
“Get your shit, let’s go.”
“Excuse me?” She places a hand on her hip and starts to argue, but I head back to my truck.
She groans, slamming her front door slam shut.
“And where exactly are we going?” Mia hops in, pulling the seatbelt over her.
“To figure this shit out.”
I see her tense out of the corner of my eye.
&n
bsp; “Nate-”
“Look, I need to know what the hell happened, if only for my own sanity. And if I have to face it,“ I stop at the stoplight and turn to her, “so do you. I don’t know what your issue is, yet, but clearly you have one. So, we’re going to figure it out.”
“I don’t think-”
“Save it, Mia. It’s time.”
Fuck my life.
This isn’t happening. I don’t know who lit the fire under Nate’s ass, but nothing but pure determination is burning through his eyes.
He’s pissed and, bystanders be damned, he’s getting his answers tonight.
“How the hell are you supposed to find out?”
“Ashley.”
My head snaps back. “What?”
He sighs. “We’re late to the game, Mia. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. The way she acted that day at the party…it was all right there. I was just too blinded by fury to catch it. By now, she and, if my suspicions are correct, someone else knows what the fuck happened in Mexico. Now it’s time for us to take the steps to prove we care enough to figure it out.”
Nate might as well be speaking French, because his ‘come to Jesus’ moment he’s going for is lost on me.
I have no idea what’s happening.
I’m going in unarmed.
Again. Fuck my life.
It only takes about fifteen minutes to get to the bonfire the seniors put on every year after graduation.
Nate puts his Hummer in park and turns to look at me.
“You sure you’re ready for this?”
“No, are you?”
I shake my head, then we both step out of his vehicle.
“Alright, don’t get distracted. Let’s find Ashley.”
We walk around a bit, weaving in and out of the parked cars, before I spot her in a lawn chair, on Jarrod’s lap.
Huh.
Nate sees her the same time I do and charges in their direction.
Jarrod spies us in an instant, quickly rising to his feet and setting Ash aside.
Her gaze follows his and she smirks.
What the hell?
“What can I do for you, Nate?” he grits out.
“You can shut your fucking mouth before I knock your ass out. I don’t have time for your bullshit, but I do want to borrow your,” he pins hard eyes on Ashley, “girlfriend.”
“Leave her out of this.” Jarrod steps closer to Ashley, and I step away from Nate when I see the deadly smirk he gives Jarrod.
He’s not leaving without answers.
“What’s the matter, Jarrod?” Nate inches closer. “You find a way to manipulate her into thinking your secrets are better worth kept?” He goads him and I watch as Ashley’s face contorts with guilt.
He’s onto something.
I step closer.
“Make her think it was over and done, and no one was looking for the answers anymore, so you don’t have to live with the fact that you fucked both your girl, and mine, in the same night? Figuratively speaking, though, right?” Nate’s steps even closer and Jarrod’s body starts to shake with rage. “’Cause everyone knows my girl never wanted you.”
I’m not sure if Nate believes what he’s saying, but I think he’s getting what he’s looking for.
Jarrod pushes forward. “Fuck you, Monroe! You think you’re hot shit ’cause you scored with the new girl, who has been run through who knows how many times?” I see Nate’s hands flex at his sides, but he doesn’t advance. “Well, I got the virgin!”
When Ashley gasps, Nate smirks at Jarrod. Realization sets in and Jarrod’s eyes widen. He quickly shifts to Ashley and pulls her into him. “Ash-”
“Stop!” she croaks and he flinches. “Just… stop. I can’t do this again. You’re…” She sighs, her eyes glazing over. “You’re everything I thought you were, Jarrod. Self-centered, shallow, and… mean.”
She steps away from him and pulls out her phone.
“Ash, don’t do this,” he pleads.
“You did this, Jarrod.” She shakes her head. “To them, to us.”
She lifts her screen, silent tears sliding down her face, and meets Nate’s guilty face. “I’m really sorry,” she whispers. “I sent it to Mia. Don’t listen to it here, Nate.”
I whip out my phone, seeing a message from her on my screen.
I meet Nate’s gaze to confirm.
He sighs. “I’m sorry, Ash, I had to…”
“I know. I was waiting.” She smiles softly through her tears, almost seeming proud, and his lip twitches.
Wait, what?
He squeezes her shoulder, then we both dash back to his truck.
Once inside, we freeze, staring at each other.
“Did you see what it was?” His brows jump.
“No.”
“Are you ready to?”
“No.”
He nods, his gaze dropping to my screen.
I open the message, download the attachment, and open it.
My heart rate spikes when Kalani’s voice plays through the tiny speaker.
“Excuse me?” Lolli’s voice is low, lethal.
“Oh, come on. Share the deets on your grandfather’s NFL info. A several million-dollar football contract that renewed every so many years, only increasing in numbers? Impressive.”
Silence fills the air for a moment, and then…
“He earned it,” Lolli defends. “The NFL pays high for recognizable talent.”
“And the millions?”
“What about ‘em?”
“You’re a millionaire now, right?”
“Holy shit,” Nate mutters next to me.
“Yeah, and?”
“So, he just gave all his money to a child?”
“It was his. Now it’s mine. Big fucking deal.”
“So why are you wasting your time on Nate, then? It’s not like you care about him.”
“Wh…are you fucking kidding me right now?” Kalani’s tone is incredulous, but strong. “Not that it’s any of your damn business, Olivia, but I love Nate.”
“Oh fuck,” Nate groans, dropping back against the door.
I pull my ear closer to the screen, hearing Liv’s gasp in the recording.
“Yeah, I know. Just figured it out myself, but it’s true. I love the shit outta him. It’s you,” Lolli shouts, the sound muffling in the weak speakers of my phone, “who doesn’t care about him.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Uh…because it’s the truth!”
“Okay, Lolli. So, what do you think this is all about?”
Silence again, then…
“What are you doing right now?”
My brows pull in at Kalani’s inquisitive tone.
“Wha…what do you mean?”
“You. These questions. I don’t know what you’re shooting for here, but know I’m not an idiot, Liv.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My eyes fill with tears. “What did you do, Liv?” I whisper, seeing Nate’s head swing my direction in my peripheral vision, but my gaze stays on my screen.
“I’ll play along…” Kalani speaks again. “What do I think you’re after? Easy. Money, a title, and a ticket. When it comes to you, Olivia, all that matters is a shiny multi-million dollar contract.”
“You think money is everything to me?”
“Money is everything to you!”
Nate starts dry heaving next to me, his body trembling. With rage or fear, I haven’t a clue.
“I get it. You don’t like yourself much; maybe your home life is shitty, so you do your damndest to make everyone around you miserable, just to feel better about yourself. Well, I’m not like you. I don’t need to tear someone down or take advantage of people to feel good. I have Nate. And, to a girl who is used to having nothing but money in the bank, he’s more than enough for me.”
“For now. What about when school’s over and he’s off to college? He could get injured or decide he doesn’t want to pla
y football, what then?”
“Are you not hearing me? I don’t care about that shit! Football or not. I want him. That’s it. Where he wants to go, what he wants to do, how long he wants to do it…I don’t care! I just need him. And, as much as it ruffles your fake little feathers, I have him. Me. So back. The fuck. Off.”
The recording ends.
We’re frozen, staring at the blank screen in silence, for what feels like an eternity.
Nate claws at his chest, his face constricted with pain, sagging against his seat.
And me? I’m a sick bitch, because my heart feels lighter than it has in weeks.
She loves him.
Kalani is in love with him.
This means she didn’t, she wouldn’t have-
Wait.
I hop out of the car and he follows.
“Mia?”
My brows pinch in the center. “Lolli…she said you were fucking Olivia that night.” Slowly, I turn to face him. “Why would she think that, Nate?”
Nate looks at me, his head shaking in confusion. Then, an instant later, his face falls, paling. “Oh, fuck.”
No…
“She saw you two, didn’t she?”
Nate groans, pulling on the ends of his hair.
“That means…”
Oh God.
“We have to go!” He rushes to his door, his hand freezing on the handle when he sees I haven’t moved.
I bend at the waist, one arm shooting out to hold myself up against the bumper.
“I have to get to her. Now.” He rushes to me, ushering me to the door, but I don’t budge. “Mia, this has been fucking killing me. Killing me.” He pushes on his chest. “Thinking she didn’t want this. Didn’t want me.”
He’s pleading, and while I should feel for him, my own issues, insecurities, and anger rear their ugly heads.
He’s vulnerable and crushed, but I’m bitter and lost.
“So,” I squint. “Olivia tells you some lies and you jump into bed with her?”
His brows jump. “I-”
“Save it, Nate. You’re just as much to blame as she is, for her leaving.” I cut him off, my voice growing louder. “You could have talked to her, asked her if it were true! Talked to her, like she would have if it were you!” I shove him. “If you would have trusted in her, she never would have seen you with Liv! She never would have needed anyone to comfort her!” I cry. “She never would have-”
Fumbled Hearts (A Tender Hearts Novel) Page 36
