“Maybe. She seemed very curious about him, though.”
Jack glanced at her. “Yes, she was. I noticed that, too. But she has to go on with her life. She can’t wait for David to come back, that’s for sure.”
“No, of course not. But if you really care for someone and they leave you, feelings don’t just disappear. Unfortunately. Two years isn’t long if she really loved him.”
Jack didn’t answer. He knew that was true. He would have feelings for Julie long after she left Cape Light. That’s just the way it was. He was coming to accept the inevitable.
As Jack expected, as soon as they got home, Julie took Kate back up to bed and gave her the new prescription.
“She’ll need about twenty-four hours on the medicine before she feels like herself again,” Julie said when she came downstairs. “The doctor said the more she sleeps, the faster this will go away.”
“I think you should catch a nap yourself. You look beat,” Jack told her. He had heated up some soup for their lunch and made two turkey sandwiches while Julie was upstairs. Julie took a few bites, but he could tell she was more tired than hungry.
“I wanted to go out to the shop and work on the decorations,” she said. “We’ll probably get busy again.”
Jack knew she was right. It was less than two weeks before Christmas Eve. Twelve days, exactly. The countdown had begun. The lot had been busy in the late afternoon and early evening—mothers coming with kids after school and entire families at night.
“I can handle it. I don’t want you to get sick, too,” he added, purposely avoiding her gaze.
She smiled at him. “Okay, maybe I could use a nap. If I went out there now, I might get in trouble with the glue gun.”
Jack grinned at the idea. “We could wind up with some very weird wreaths.”
She laughed, rested her hand lightly on his shoulder for a moment, then walked past his chair. “Don’t let me sleep too long, okay?”
“Sure. I’ll wake you in a little while,” he promised.
He felt his heart skip a beat as she left the room, and couldn’t for the life of him understand why. Then he realized. He and Julie had been treating each other with an easy intimacy. A romantic intimacy. He couldn’t quite believe it, feeling that sweet connection that he had never expected to feel again.
After lunch, Jack went outside to the tree lot. His ankle hardly bothered him, even with the plastic brace on. He tossed some trees around, sorting out a fresh shipment, then cleaned up the place a bit. Then he looked through the most expensive trees he had for sale and picked out one he thought was just perfect.
It was over two hours later when he walked upstairs and knocked softly on the door to the room where Julie and Kate slept.
The door was partially open, and he saw Julie sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked as if she had just woken up. She blinked at him. “I thought you promised to wake me in a little while. I slept the whole afternoon.”
“You needed the rest. Besides, I was busy,” he explained.
“A lot of customers?” She sounded concerned.
“No, busy inside. Come on down with Katie. I have a surprise for you.”
He waited in the living the room. It was late afternoon, nearly dark outside, and he turned off the lamp on the end table so that only the colored lights on the Christmas tree glowed.
He heard them coming and stepped back. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Kate’s face. Or Julie’s.
Kate came first. She stopped on the stairway, her face pressed between the railings of the banister. “Look, Mommy! A Christmas tree. Jack made an inside tree!”
She ran down the rest of the steps and straight up to the tree. She stared at it, looking at every ornament.
Jack felt himself smiling. The expression on her face was priceless, full of wonder and innocent joy. He wished he could bottle it and save it for some gloomy day when he would be all alone here once more.
Kate turned to him. “Jack, did you do this all by yourself?”
“All by myself. Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful. It’s a very nice tree.” She reached out and stroked a branch, as if it were a dog. Jack nearly laughed out loud.
Julie stepped over and stood beside him. She rested her hand on his arm. Her touch lingered. “Jack . . .” She shook her head. Her eyes were glassy, as if she might cry.
Jack felt alarmed. He hadn’t meant to upset her. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all.” She smiled again. “It was just so sweet of you to go to all this trouble, so thoughtful.”
“I just wanted to cheer Kate up. So she would feel better. I used a few ornaments from your shop. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” Julie replied.
Jack hadn’t been able to use any of the ornaments still packed away in his basement. Those would bring back too many memories. Instead, he had found some ribbons and odds and ends in the Christmas shop and a bag of candy canes. Somehow, he had managed to fill the branches; the lights helped a lot.
“There’s one more special touch. But I need Kate’s help,” he said, looking down at her. “I have a star for the top. Think you could put it on for me?”
Kate looked thrilled by the assignment. “I can do it,” she promised.
He showed her the star with the holder that clipped to the treetop. Then he picked her up and lifted her high enough to reach. Without much trouble, Kate did the job.
“Great.” Jack held her in his arms and smiled at her. “Now the tree is perfect.”
“It was very nice of Jack to decorate this tree for you, Kate. What do you say?” her mother coaxed.
“Thank you, Jack.” She put her arms around his neck and hugged him.
“You are very welcome,” he answered quietly.
Finally, he set her down again. Kate gazed up at the two adults. “The tree isn’t just for me,” she told them. “It’s for Jack, too. Because now when Santa flies by, he can find Jack’s house.”
“That’s right. I almost forgot. I know you were worried about that,” Jack said.
“I was. Everyone should get presents. Even you, Jack.”
“Well, thanks.”
Julie made an apologetic face at the half-baked compliment, but he knew what Kate meant.
Besides, he didn’t need Santa. He already had his gift: this time with Julie and Kate.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SAM KNEW HE HAD TO TELL JESSICA THE BAD NEWS. BUT IN THE days that followed their visit to the old house, he just couldn’t find the right moment. There was always some reason. Last week, Jessica had started her new job. She came home tired every night, overwhelmed by getting into a new routine—a full-time job added to all the shopping, cooking, laundry, and cleaning up. Sam helped her as much as he could, but he could see the tension and exhaustion in her eyes.
The weekend was almost worse. New Horizons had held its annual Christmas party on Sunday, and Sam and Jessica had spent all day Saturday helping Luke and Sara clean, decorate, and cook. It was the least they could do, since Luke had been so kind to them. The weekend vanished in the whirlwind of preparations and the party itself. Afterward, Sam was too tired and distracted to get into any heavy discussions at home.
The cabin was so small that private conversations with Jessica were few and far between. In order to talk out of the boys’ earshot, Sam either had to find a time when the kids were outside playing, or coax Jessica to step outside into the cold. It was crazy. They were all on top of each other in the small space yet not nearly as emotionally close as they used to be. Especially him and Jess.
As he drove back to the cabin on Monday night, he was determined to tell her about the insurance claim. He didn’t care what was going on. He had been holding the information back from her for a week now. He couldn’t put it off any longer.
He walked in with Sunny and unhooked her leash. Jessica was in the kitchen cooking dinner, an apron over her fancy work clothes. Sam kissed her on the cheek.
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“Where are the kids?” she asked.
“I dropped them off at the main building. They wanted to use the computer in the library for a few minutes. They claim they need it for homework.”
“Or something,” Jessica replied. “I guess we need to put at least one computer under the Christmas tree.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s unavoidable,” Sam agreed. It was a week until Christmas Eve. They hadn’t done any shopping yet, except for necessities. “I think the break from computers has been good for them. Last night, I actually found them playing Scrabble. How wild is that?”
Jessica laughed. “I don’t believe you. You should have taken a picture.”
If I still had a camera, I would have, Sam nearly answered. But he didn’t want to remind her again of their losses. As if she needed any reminders.
Sam had picked up their mail at the post office and now dropped it on the counter. Jessica began sifting through the envelopes, separating the bills from the junk mail.
“Oh, look. Something from my old friend, Marty Graham.” She opened it up. It was a Christmas card with a handwritten note inside. “What a nice note. Marty heard about the fire. She invited us to stay with her for Christmas, at their house on Cape Cod. You remember Marty, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do. Very nice of her to offer.”
Marty was an old college friend of Jessica’s. Sam didn’t much like her, or her husband, Ted? Ken? Kevin? He had no intention of spending the holiday with them and couldn’t imagine why Jessica would want to either. They were both snobs, he thought. Ted did something with money. A stockbroker or bonds trader. Investment counselor? Sam couldn’t remember. He did remember Ted made loads of money. Which made Sam feel like . . . a bug.
Marty was very fussy, he recalled. She shared all of Jessica’s worst traits and none of her redeeming graces. Their two boys were okay, but both were a lot quieter than his kids. The few times they had gotten together, the four boys planted themselves in front of a TV; it was the only thing they all had in common.
“Maybe we should take them up on it,” Jessica said. “Their house is gorgeous, and Marty always serves incredible food.” Her oozing tone annoyed him. “Besides, it would be a nice change of scenery for the boys. For all of us.”
“I’d like to stick around for the holidays, Jess, be with our families.”
“They’ll understand that we need to get away.” She put the card aside and picked up the mail again. “We don’t have to decide now. I think I’ll give Marty a call though.” She flipped through a few more envelopes. “Funny how we never heard back from the insurance company on the claim. Did you finally get in touch with someone there?”
Sam felt his stomach curl in a knot. He knew what he had to do, but it was hard to step up to the plate and swing away.
“I did hear something,” he started off slowly. “There was a letter. And a check.”
“A check? You didn’t tell me that.” She turned to him, her expression expectant.
“Well, I didn’t deposit it yet.”
“Why not?” Something in his eyes told her. “Oh,” she said. “How much is it for?”
He named the figure and took a breath, watching her face.
She looked confused. “That’s the whole claim? Not just part, like for the house or our belongings?”
He nodded, pursing his lips. “Yes, that’s it, the whole thing. It wasn’t nearly as much as I expected.”
“No . . . it wasn’t, was it? It’s not even close to the figure we talked about.” She stood staring at him. He could tell she was in shock. “Can I see the letter? What did they say?”
“The letter is in the shop.” He hadn’t purposely left the letter there, but maybe he had done it subconsciously. When she saw the date, she would know how long he had kept if from her.
“Can’t we protest it? Get a second opinion or something?”
“I’ve already started working on that, Jess. I’ve filled out all the papers and sent them in.”
Her gaze narrowed. “I thought you said you just heard about this today, Sam.”
“I didn’t say that. I just said I didn’t deposit the check yet. A lawyer told me it was better not to if we’re going to argue with them.”
“You spoke to a lawyer about this . . . and you’re just telling me?”
“I got the letter a few days ago. I wanted to tell you, Jess. It never seemed like a good time, especially with you starting work again. I knew you would be upset.”
“I am upset—about the insurance, and now, about you keeping this from me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “It was hard for me to talk about it.”
She swallowed hard, and he saw tears well up in her eyes. He wanted to go to her and put his arms around her. That’s what he would normally do. But something stopped him. Something in the way she was holding herself so straight and still warned him off.
“That’s not nearly enough to rebuild the house, is it?” she asked.
“No. It’s not.”
“What are we going to do? Where can we live?”
“Well, we have a few options. We could knock down the old house—they’ll pay for that—and we can rebuild something different, smaller. Maybe a prefab. Those are very cost-effective, and they have some terrific styles now. Or we can just sell the land and find another house.”
Jessica stared at him for a moment. Then she put her hands over her eyes and started to cry. “This can’t be happening. . . . Why did all this have to happen to us, Sam? Our whole life has fallen apart, and it’s not going to get any better.”
Sam stepped over to her. He put his arms around her, and she leaned against him. He gently stroked her hair.
“It’s a lot to think about, Jess. I could hardly handle it myself when I heard. We don’t have to figure it all out right now,” he said, trying to soothe her.
“It’s just a house,” he added in a soft voice. “We can’t make it the measure of everything. We just have to deal with this and go on, try to make the best of it. I wish it were different for us, but—”
Jessica pulled back from him, brushing away her tears. “There you go again. Just . . . just steamrolling over my feelings. Can’t I feel sad over this? Can’t I feel angry?”
“I didn’t mean that,” he said quietly.
The truth was, he hated to see her wallow in those feelings. The way he looked at it, that didn’t do any good at all.
“I don’t know how to make the best of this, Sam. Maybe you do, but I think it’s all pretty awful. I’ve been hanging on for a month now, believing we’ll be able to rebuild and go back to our house. Now you tell me we can’t. We might just knock it down and move away or . . . put up a cheap, prefab house that—” She couldn’t finish, choking on her words.
He reached out to her. “Jess, calm down. It’s going to be okay.”
She pulled away and shook her head. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. He knew what she was telling him. All his reassurances meant nothing. It wasn’t going to be okay. That was their argument. And there was no answer to it.
Sam felt indescribably sad and lonely. He felt as if he had failed and disappointed her. Disappointed all of them.
“I would rebuild it if I could, Jessica. I would be out there right now, hammering away. You know that.”
“I know you would,” she said sympathetically. “Too bad for us, wishing can’t make it all right again.”
Sam didn’t know what to say. He felt angry and hurt but didn’t want to make the argument any worse than it already was.
He glanced at his watch. “I’m going to get the boys now. They should be ready to come—back.” He stopped himself just before he used the word home.
This place wasn’t their home and never would be. He didn’t know where home was for them anymore. Now, with Jessica pulling away from him, it was getting harder and harder to figure that out.
AFTER DINNER, KATE WENT UPSTAIRS TO FIND A BOOK FOR JACK TO rea
d. Since the Christmas tree had arrived, they had moved their nightly story time into the living room, which now seemed to be Kate’s favorite spot in the house.
Jack lingered in the kitchen, cleaning up from dinner with Julie. The phone rang and the answering machine picked up before he could get it.
“This is a message for Julie Newton. It’s her brother, Peter, calling,” a man’s voice said.
Julie ran to the phone and picked it up. “Hello, Peter. How are you?”
Her voice was cheerful and warm, but Jack had come to know her well these past few weeks. He also heard an anxious edge in her tone. He had heard her talk to her brother before. There were clearly some strained feelings between them.
“Oh . . . well, I’m sorry about that. I did tell Marion it was going to be about ten boxes, and she said that wouldn’t be a problem. . . .” Julie paused, listening. “I’d really rather you didn’t put them in storage, Peter. That costs a lot of money. . . . Okay, just put them in the room we’re going to use, and I’ll deal with it when I get there.”
Jack felt a flash of annoyance. Ten boxes. All she had in the world, except for the stuff she had packed in her car. And this guy was giving her a hard time.
Julie was still talking as he dried the last pot and put it away. He glanced at her as he left the room.
He really didn’t want her to go to Long Island. He knew it was none of his business and he did not have the right to an opinion on what she did with her life. But he just didn’t get a good feeling about the situation with her brother. He hated to think that she and Kate might feel unwelcome and unwanted there.
As he entered the living room, he spotted Kate crouched by the Christmas tree. She had a picture book stuck under her arm but was also busy with an armload of little packages, wrapped in tissue paper and straggly ribbons.
Jack had noticed the messily wrapped bundles piling up over the past few days. Teasing, he’d asked if she had left them, and she denied it. Now he had caught her red-handed.
He snuck up on tiptoe. She was so intent on her task, she didn’t even hear him. He crept behind her, then grabbed her around the waist and lifted her high in the air. “Gotcha!”
A Christmas Star Page 18
