“Nor should you,” she agreed. “But I have no reason to deceive you at the moment, so we can have a dialogue. Trust is not necessary, merely comprehension.”
Dell stood at the gunnel and reached out to help Ann step onto the boat. She took his hand with a marvelously supple grip, kneading his fingers in a way that somehow turned him on. “Very nice,” she said, and took a seat facing him, crossing her legs under the skirt. He almost freaked out; they were phenomenal legs, showing almost but not quite too much. “I should explain that all the girls in our family are named Ann, so we prefer to use our middle names: Nounce, Nex, Nul, Noint, and of course me, Noy. We are all bad girls, but I am the most irritating. Do you understand?”
That was easy. “No,” Dell said.
“I do,” Nia murmured. “I am annoyed already.”
“Good,” Noy said, pointedly ignoring Nia. “This gives me a pretext to explain. The world is overrun by good girls, but we of the underworld prefer bad girls. The fact is, bad girls are a lot more fun than good girls, as I shall be happy to demonstrate soon enough.” She recrossed her legs, and again Dell did not quite freak out, though he came yea close as her naughty panties almost showed. Dell saw Nia stiffen; she knew the woman was playing him for a fool. He knew it too, but somehow it didn’t bother him. “And that is one demonstration,” Noy said. “We know exactly what we’re showing, always, and use it to control our men.”
The children watched and listened but stayed strictly out of it. Santo seemed deviously amused, being quite objective about the visitor.
“And how do you control your women?” Nia asked through gritted teeth.
“We have other ways,” Noy said dismissively without looking at her. It was clear that she knew she was annoying Nia, and hardly cared. Her focus was on Dell.
“Uh, what is this necessary information you mentioned?” Dell asked.
“We wish to buy your boat. We will pay a good price.”
“It is not for sale,” Nia snapped. But it was as if the sound of her voice passed by Noy without touching her. She did not react.
“It is not for sale,” Dell repeated.
Now she reacted. “Nonsense. Anything is for sale. One merely has to find the correct price.”
“The bleep!” Nia said, again without effect.
“There is no price,” Dell said.
“Who owns it?”
“Nobody owns it,” Nia snapped.
“Nobody owns it,” Dell repeated. “Nia and I are co-captains. We are in the process of delivering it to its new proprietors. Nobody else can have it.”
“Co-captains,” Noy repeated thoughtfully. “So it seems we must deal with two of you.”
“Deal, smeal!” Nia said. “There will be no deal. So if that’s your business, you may depart now.”
This time Noy heard her. “So we shall provide the two of you with a tour of our kingdom. You will be persuaded.”
“Now wait a mo—” Dell started. In his irritation he forgot to avert his eyes as Noy moved her legs.
“Come down into the yacht,” Santo murmured as Dell came to.
“But—”
“Do it,” the peeve said tightly.
Something more than a panty flash was up. Dell let the boy lead him to the hatch while Nia talked with Noy.
“What’s going on?” Dell asked when they were safely below.
“She really is a bad girl,” Santo said. “The moment you started to protest, she flashed you into silence. You need protection.”
“There’s protection from panty flashes?”
“There is,” the peeve said. “Contact lenses.”
“What are they?”
“You put them in contact with your eyes and they protect you by fudging the dangerous details. While we’re at it, we’d better protect you from mental confusion too. It is clear that you need it.”
Dell had to admit they had a case. Now that he was not in Noy’s presence, he could see that she was a danger to him objectivity.
“What is that woman up to?”
“She says she wants to get Fibot. We think she’ll drug you and Nia to make you turn it over.”
“Why were we sent into such a trap?”
“We don’t know. We hope you can find out without getting corrupted.”
Dell laughed without much humor. “We two adults were supposed to keep you three or four children safe. Now you’re having to keep us safe.”
“We’ve seen worse,” Santo said. “Squid really appreciates how you protected and comforted her. Ah, here are your contacts.”
Squid stepped up. “And your pills,” she said. “Swallow them first. Then I’ll put the lenses on you.”
He took the glass of water she proffered, and swallowed the pills. Then her arms became tentacles and she touched his eyes.
He blinked. Things looked the same, yet subtly different.
“Now return to topside,” Santo said. “Try to avoid getting flashed, but when she does, pretend to freak out so she doesn’t know you’re out of her power. You need to find out what she’s really up to.”
“Whatever would we do without you!”
“You’d lead hopelessly dull adult lives,” Squid said with half a giggle.
Dell headed back topside.
Win was still there, sitting by the rudder. Ula, Tata, and the peeve remained in place, silent.
Nia caught sight of him. “This is interesting,” she said. “We really need to take their tour. This is a unique community.”
Noy must have been persuasive. Nia’s hostility to her seemed to be gone. Well, he would go along with it. For now. “Okay.”
Noy stood. “This way, please.” She seemed not to have noticed Dell’s absence. Or maybe it was what she wanted, so she could focus on Nia, who was clearly the more formidable challenge.
“Wait,” Dell said. “We can’t just step off the boat. We’d drown.”
“No, she explained about that,” Nia said. “The citizens of the Sea Kingdom are in half phase. That is, set apart half a reality, in a semi-alternate Xanth. They have air in their phase, so they can breathe, cultivate crops, and walk. They can also fish and collect oysters, snails, and seaweed from the Xanth phase. But it’s awkward, constantly changing back and forth. That’s why they need the boat: it can travel freely between phases, providing much better oversight. They knew we were coming, so were ready for us.”
“How did they know we were coming?” Dell asked.
“Simple: they are the new proprietors.”
Dell carefully did not look at Tata and the peeve, knowing they were outraged. This had to be a lie. But how could he prove that? So he spoke carefully. “I am not persuaded that this is the case.”
“Well, you will be. Now let’s go see the kingdom.”
Was she pretending to believe, or did she really believe? Dell did not trust this at all. All he could do was go along for now and hope to learn more.
Noy stood at the gunnel. “Step across in contact with me,” she said. “My phase translator will conduct you safely into the Sea Kingdom phase.”
And how would they get back into their own phase, without her? This smelled of a kind of trap. But he wasn’t going to let Nia walk into it alone. He had to trust that the lenses and pills the children had given him provided a hidden advantage.
“Stay here until we return,” he told the crew, knowing they would. For one thing, neither the sail nor the rudder would operate unless the co-captains were present. So the craft could not be stolen by invading operators, quite apart from the defenses the children could mount if they had to. Such as blowing up a hurricane-force wind, or making a hole into Hell.
Nia held one of Noy’s hands, and Dell held the other. Again there was that subtle kneading that made him think of storks. It wasn’t just this woman’s panties that were dangero
us.
Now they were standing on the sea floor, and the fish were swimming by, but Dell and Nia were comfortably breathing. They were in the half phase, seeing the sea without really being in it. An interesting experience.
“This way, please,” Noy said, walking briskly. The “please” sounded more like a command.
Soon they were passing cultivated fields, and people wore working in them. That was unusual, because most of the things Xanthians needed grew naturally: pie plants, milk weeds, cookies, beefsteak tomatoes, blankets, pillows, and shirts. There were also the drinks: beer barrel trees, tsoda pop pools, and boot rear. All a person had to do was go out and harvest what he needed. So why were they deliberately growing things?
“Familiar foods aren’t natural to the bottom of the sea,” Noy explained as if answering their thoughts. “So we have to do it the hard way: growing grain to grind into flour and bake into bread, growing potatoes for potato chips and mashed potatoes, growing berries for berry pies, and so on. We work hard to maintain ourselves. But some fish can reach across to graze on our crops, and it can be hard to discourage them without entering their realm, which is awkward.”
Dell appreciated that.
They came to the town. There were not many people on the streets, and those who were were mostly hauling wagons of produce to the central market, where housewives were shopping. This too was unusual, since Xanthians did not need to buy goods they could harvest free. But what did they use for money?
“We use seashells,” Noy said, answering his unspoken thought. That gave him warning; she might not be able to read his mind outright, but she knew the general pattern of his thoughts. He immediately suppressed anything he did not want her to know, not that there was much at the moment. Just how her green hair flounced appealingly and her hips flexed provocatively as she walked ahead of him.
They came to the royal palace. Evidently they did not need a castle, since dragons and griffins and such couldn’t fly down to the bottom of the sea, and people could not get into the half phase before they drowned.
They were granted immediate audience with the king and queen, who looked quite conventional in their royal robes and crowns. “So good to have visitors from above!” the king said heartily to Dell, just as if he were an equal.
“You must catch us up on the gossip from the land kingdom,” the queen told Nia.
Then they were in the royal banquet. Noy sat between Dell and Nia, catering to them both and surely by coincidence keeping them from talking directly with each other. It was amazing how many strange dishes there were, like quiche and mushrooms and dumpling stew, but they were good. The boot rear lacked punch, however; probably the chef had gotten the letters reversed, making it root beer.
Dell felt a qualm. Something was tugging at his mind, or at least his willpower. He felt as if he should go along with anything these nice folk wanted. He suppressed his suspicion that the food was drugged, and pretended to go along with it. But he worried about Nia.
After the excellent meal they were treated another unusual beverage: red wine. And to a show: elegantly garbed dancers twirled and strutted, the men handsome, the ladies lovely with skirts that flared into full circles when they spun, showing their wonderfully shaped legs. Dell enjoyed it immensely, encouraged by the wine, burying any thought that his male fantasies were being evoked.
Then a handsome dancer approached Nia. “We must not allow a lovely lady like you to be neglected,” he told her. “You surely dance excellently.” And he took her by the hand and led her onto the dance floor. Dell saw that she was a bit tipsy from the wine, but flattered; few men treated her like this at her age, let alone a handsome one like this. The man held her closely so that she did not waver, and danced slowly so that she could follow without embarrassing herself.
Then a lady dancer approached Dell, smiling. He had noticed her before; her legs were especially shapely, and her skirt rose higher than the others.
“Come dance with me, handsome man,” she said. “I am Ann Nounce.”
“Hands off, sister!” Noy snapped. “He’s mine.”
“You’re being bothersome again,” Nounce snapped back. “You’re asking for a hair pulling.”
“And you’re asking for a nail scratching,” Noy said angrily.
“Please,” Dell said quickly. “I know the rule: I must dance with the one what brung me.”
“Bleep,” Nounce said, retreating. “Another time, sister.”
Then Noy took Dell by the hand and led him out before he could protest further. He was flattered that she found him appealing as a partner, but deep down in the buried chamber of his mind he recognized this as a ploy to influence him. That spot quarrel between the bad girls had surely been staged for his dubious benefit.
They danced, and she held him closely, her remarkable figure moving against him so firmly that he couldn’t help getting notions. As she surely intended. These creatures had to be well aware of what they were touching with as well as what they were showing. “You dance so well,” she murmured huskily in his ear. “I’m sure that’s not all you can do.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, strongly suspecting.
“My room is at the south side,” she said, wiggling her bottom suggestively. “Dance in that direction, and we’ll sneak out when the music stops.”
Exactly. How was it that an ordinary girl had a room in the king’s palace? To entertain and subvert guests, of course. Not that she was ordinary; her shape alone advertised her elite nature. She was the one assigned to handle the folk running Fibot, and she certainly knew exactly how to do it. He was the mark, being expertly handled.
They danced toward the south side. He was cooperating because he didn’t want Noy to know that the wine had not doused his common sense. The savvy children had seen to that. He would play along until she made her move.
The music stopped. “Change partners!” the announcer called.
Nounce was already heading their way, ready to do exactly that. Noy pulled him quickly into the next chamber and shut the door behind them.
It was indeed a bedroom. Noy kissed him so avidly it made his head spin and drew him down on the bed. Her hands were working on his shirt. Her blouse was already open, advertising her splendidly filled bra.
Then she inhaled, and the bra strap broke. His eyeballs started to glaze.
She paused. “There is one minor detail.”
“There is?”
“I’m a bad girl, remember? There is always a detail.” Her bra fell away.
“Detail,” he echoed dazedly.
“I would really appreciate your agreeing to co-pilot the magic boat for us. Do that, and I am yours.”
And there it was. Her body for the boat. Right when she figured he was so besotted with wine and lust he wouldn’t hesitate to agree.
Now at last he could stop this charade. “No.”
“Good. One thing about bad girls is we always deliver. We—” She did a double-take. “What?”
“The boat is not for sale.”
“That’s impossible! No man has ever told me no.”
“Then I must be the first,” he said, smiling.
“Oh, you’re joking. Well, on with it.” Her hand touched her skirt, and it fell away to reveal her bright green panties.
Dell didn’t freak, thanks to his contact lenses. They did not allow enough detail to make it happen. “No joke. I’d love to have your body, but you can’t have the boat.”
Her astonishment was unfaked. “But you freaked out before!”
“Did I? Now I know better. Are we done here?”
“We’re done,” she said wrathfully. “Now see if you can escape our vengeance.” She flounced off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door.
Dell knew he had won. Yet he was sorry to see her so nakedly (as it were) venal. Had she been genuinely in
terested in him it would have been another matter. But his honor, buttressed by the lenses, prevented his capitulation. Once again he had lost the girl.
He looked around as he tucked his shirt together. Then he saw what he had hoped for: Nia’s phantom eyes watching him. She would not have stopped him from having a tryst with Noy, but did need to know what he was up to.
“Lead me to you,” he murmured. “I think we need to get out of here soon.” For Noy’s threat was unlikely to be a bluff.
The eyes moved to the bedroom door and through it. He opened the door and stepped out. The dance was still in progress.
He found the eyes floating to the side. He followed them. Now he saw that though the dance seemed friendly, there were guards at the entrance who did not look friendly. They would not get out that way.
But it seemed Nia had a notion. The eyes led him to a small side door. Beyond it was a hall, and beyond that was what appeared to be a maze. Passages led in multiple directions, and there was an echoing roaring sound from somewhere within it. The message was plain: get lost in the maze and the monster would eat them. No wonder it wasn’t guarded; no one would voluntarily enter it.
And there was Nia waiting for him. She had known he was coming, seeing through her phantom eyes.
“You know what happened with me,” Dell said. “What happened with you?”
“The Queen wants to talk with you, privately,” Nia’s dancing partner said.
Something was up, of course. She saw how the sexy Ann Noy was rubbing up against Dell; she obviously intended to seduce him into agreeing to turn the boat over. And Nia knew it wouldn’t work. Dell could be seduced, but not corrupted. So what did they have for Nia?
Soon she was ushered into the royal presence. Nia bowed her head in polite homage.
“Oh, don’t bother with formality,” the queen said. “This is private.”
“As you wish.”
“Let me explain about myself. I was a peon girl, the lowest of the low. But I had a pretty face, and that was my fortune. They wanted a pretty face to impress visitors and to grace celebrations. It is similar with the king; he looked the part. So when the terms of the prior king and queen concluded, they made us king and queen for the year. We preside at formal functions and we make public love, though privately we have our pick of courtiers and ladies of the court. In between such events we govern the kingdom, with the able advice of the permanent ministers. So it is largely but not completely a ceremonial role; when push comes to shove we can make our will prevail. When our year is done, we will retire in comfort, or become ministers, as we choose. Taken as a whole, it’s a very good life.”
Fire Sail Page 24
