Dell focused. “Kadence? You’re quarter robot.”
“That’s not enough. I have associated entirely with the human sphere. But Ula has a notion.”
“Out with it.”
“Rosie.”
“Who?”
“Rosie the Riveter. We met her in the dream realm.”
“Oh, Rosie,” Dell said, remembering. “But she’s not real. She’s only a dream.”
“A dream girl robot, to be sure,” Nia agreed. “But you liked her, didn’t you?”
“Uh, yes,” Dell agreed, moderately embarrassed. “She was a nice girl.”
“Dream girls tend to be nice. They are scripted that way. So other folk should like her too. That’s what we want here. If she were Queen of the Robot Realm, there should be no trouble establishing relations with other kingdoms.”
“Maybe so. But since she doesn’t really exist—”
“She exists,” Kadence said. “As much as I do. Just not in this present realm.”
Dell spread his hands. “What are you thinking of?”
“We need to return to the dream realm and fetch her out here with us.”
Dell was amazed. “Can we do that?”
“We can if the Night Stallion allows it,” Nia said. “Others have done it, such as some of the walking skeletons. Remember, Princess Dawn married one.”
Dell spread his hands wider. “If you say so.”
“Spread your arms any farther, and I’ll step into them,” Kadence said.
Dell hastily snapped his hands together. She was teasing him, but it made him nervous.
Nia addressed Robert, who had remained silent since he was not being addressed. “Please have your clones gather three live hypno-gourds. We will take them into our boat and use them to fetch you a suitable female robot. Then we shall tackle the next stage.”
Robert gave commands. Robots scurried. Soon three returned with gourds.
“Thank you,” Nia said. Then to Robert: “Part of the living protocol is to thank a person for doing a favor. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Then the robot made a special effort that caused steam to hiss out of his crevices. “Thank you, humans, for endeavoring to assist us.”
“You’re welcome, Robert,” Nia said, and squeezed his metal arm with a hand. “Now we shall retire with the gourds and return when we have news to report.”
They took the gourds to the boat. The robots did not follow them, not having been asked to.
Inside the craft, they explained to the others, then set the gourds on a table as before, linked hands, and stared into their peepholes.
Immediately they were standing by the gate in the fence surrounding the standard haunted house. “Night Stallion!” Nia called. “May we speak with you?”
The Horse of Another Color appeared. He was an impressive black stallion with eerie intelligence in his eyes.
“We wish to help the Robot Realm in Xanth properly establish diplomatic and trade relations with other kingdoms,” Nia said. “We believe this is a worthwhile cause, as we should be better off with robots as our friends rather than as our enemies. To do that we need to bring Rosie the Riveter Robot out of the dream realm into reality. We ask you to facilitate this, for the good of Xanth.”
The Stallion paused. Then he faded out, and Rosie stood in his place. “You asked to see me?” she asked Dell hesitantly.
“Yes, Rosie. Not for a dream voyage, but for a mission in the waking world. Are you willing to join us in our effort to assist real live (as it were) robots?”
“But I’m not real,” she protested. “I’m only a dream figure, like the ones who craft bad dreams for the night mares to carry to those sleepers who deserve them. A dream actress, nothing more.”
She was hesitant? That was curious. “You told me you wished you could dream, instead of being a dream. Come with us and you can, if robots are capable of it. Regardless, you will be real.”
“I will be real?” She seemed almost reluctant to believe it.
“Yes. You will have physical substance.”
“Will you be there with me?”
“Yes, of course.”
Rosie flung herself into his surprised embrace. She was a very soft contact, as he now remembered she had said she could be. That was hardly the whole of it. “Oh, thank you!” she exclaimed joyfully, and kissed him ardently.
Uh-oh. Was she misunderstanding his interest? Belatedly he remembered that she was designed to entertain a male pilot on a long voyage, knowing all the moves. “Uh—”
“I thought we would be together in the dream voyage, but then you vanished,” she said. “I thought you had dumped me. I was heartbroken.”
Dell opened his mouth, but then saw Nia and Kadence both shaking their heads faintly no. They didn’t want him to disappoint Rosie again, and maybe cause her to reject the offer. “I would hate to make you sad,” he said. That was true, but it was not the whole truth, and he felt guilty for it.
“Oh, you have made me dreamily happy!” she said.
And of course there was the chance that Rosie, as a real girl, would be the one for him. He needed to give her a fair chance.
It seemed he had yet another girlfriend. Different in a new way.
“Our time is about up,” Nia said. “We need to be in contact with her when the contact is broken.”
Rosie was still in his embrace. Nia and Kadence joined them, their arms circling the couple.
Then they were out of it. The children had broken their eye contact with the gourd peepholes, and they were out of the dream.
So was Rosie. She was still in his embrace, as soft as ever, having emerged as it were from the same peephole. She looked amazed and gratified.
“It worked!” Santo said.
“This—this is Rosie Riveter Robot,” Dell said, introducing her to the children. “She—she is with me.”
“Hello, Rosie!” they chorused.
“Hello,” Rosie replied. “I recognize you from the space vaults we tended. I am glad to see you alive.” Then she drew apart a little, feeling herself. “I—I think I am not alive, but I feel close to it. But do you have any wood, please? I’m verging on embers. In the dream realm they would last forever, but out here they won’t.”
“How about coal?” Kadence asked. “Most robots are converting.”
Rosie considered. “That will do too.”
Santo brought her a chunk of coal. She opened her shirt to expose her belly, opened a vent, and popped in the coal. “Oh, that burns nicely,” she said.
If Dell had been on the verge of forgetting her nature, this forcefully reminded him. She was after all a machine.
“But keep me close, please,” she told Dell. “This is a completely new realm to me, that I know only from stories the night mares tell and scenes they show. I will soon go wrong without your guidance.” It was clear it was his guidance she wanted, not anyone else’s.
What could he say? “Of course.”
He was afraid that Kadence would be negative, but she looked supportive. Maybe it was that she was not jealous of a dream machine. Also, fetching Rosie had been her suggestion, or at least Ula’s, so she owned it to a degree.
“I’m relieved,” Rosie said.
But as he briefly pondered emotions, he had to wonder about Rosie. As a machine, she should have no feelings, but obviously she did. Well, he could ask. “How is it that you, as a machine, are evincing emotions?”
Rosie smiled, becoming prettier in that moment. “We are as we are programmed to be. I was programmed to relate with empathy to lonely space travelers. That is how I encountered you. Therefore I care about you, and about myself. I have the relevant spate of emotions.” She shuddered. “I think I would have preferred not to have some of them, such as fear, shame, and envy, now that I face an enormous new realm. I reall
y don’t know how to react.”
“We’ll help you with that,” Dell said. He looked around for confirmation. “All of us.” The others nodded.
She squeezed his arm, lightly. “Thank you.”
“Now we must return to show Robert,” Nia said.
The four of them departed the craft.
Robert Robot was ready to receive them. “This is Rosie Robot,” Dell said. “She’s a riveter but also capable of socializing with human folk.”
“A riveter!” Robert said. “We can use her.”
“No, it’s the social connection you need,” Dell said. “To establish diplomatic relations with other kingdoms.”
“There is no conflict,” Rosie said. She lifted her right hand to touch Robert’s left hand. There was a click. Then their hands dropped.
“You can’t be off riveting when you’re needed to negotiate with a king,” Dell protested.
“I will explain,” Rosie said to Robert. Then, to Dell: “Unlike living folk, we robots can exist in many identical copies. All they need to do is read my fundamental program so they can make many copies of me. Some copies will be riveters; others will be royal negotiators. I, as the original, will be with you, ensuring your happiness.”
Many copies. Of course. He had been stupid again.
“If the copies are identical,” Nia asked, “How do you decide which copy does what?”
Now Robert answered. “The original robot of a particular design is numbered #0. The first copy is #1. The second #2, and so on. Our numbers define us. The higher the number, the lower a unit is in the hierarchy. That is why my clones obey me; none would ever question his place. Latter clones may be assigned as convenient. Rosie is #0 among females; her clones will perform other tasks.”
“You’ve decided already?” Dell asked. “You don’t even know each other yet.”
“We know each other,” Rosie said. “Robert is now transmitting my essential template to the duplication machine so as to make copies of me.”
“But there’s been no dialogue, no discussion,” Dell said. “You just met.”
She smiled tolerantly. “We touched contacts. I gave him my template and he gave me his. We now understand each other perfectly and know that our purposes are compatible. He will be king of the robot kingdom, and I will be queen. Copies of us will see to the details.”
“With no instructions?”
A robot entered the chamber. It looked exactly like Rosie. “I will operate here while you go to the human kingdom,” she said to Rosie.
“Thank you, #1. See to Robert’s comfort and clarification.”
#1 turned to Robert. “You will need to be practiced in dancing when the humans visit and you entertain them in their manner. They place great store in social formality. Take me in your embrace.”
Robert obeyed. In a moment they were carefully dancing together. “This is an unfamiliar experience,” Robert said. “Surprisingly compatible.”
“I am compatible in many respects,” #1 said, moving in closer.
They looked exactly like a robot dancing with a lovely woman, since #1 was completely human in appearance. Dell was bemused. Just how far could they go?
“We are departing now to make royal human contact,” Rosie said, satisfied.
Thus efficiently they were walking back to the boat. Dell realized that the clone of Rosie would be able to do anything here that Rosie herself could do, so it made sense to have Rosie herself get on with the main business.
“I will dance with you, if you wish, Dell,” Rosie said. “I will not deny you anything you might desire, and I have an excellent notion of what a human man desires.”
He realized that she had noted his close attention when number one danced with Robert, and thought he might be wanting to do the same. Meanwhile, her complete candor embarrassed him. “Uh, no need, thank you.”
“I want to be quite sure to please you in every respect, for I need you to acquaint me with this world and safeguard me from errors.”
He saw both Nia and Kadence half smiling. That unnerved him further. He had had a remarkable succession of temporary girlfriends, but realized that he still knew practically nothing about women. Even a robot woman. “Uh, thank you. I’ll do my best to acquaint and safeguard you.”
“You will share a room, of course, as we travel,” Nia said as they reached the boat. A naughty smile hovered in her vicinity.
Again, he seemed to have no choice.
They launched back into the sky and sailed north. Rosie was riveted, so to speak, by the local view of the landscape. “I love planetside!” she breathed. She didn’t need to breathe for herself, but evidently did it for the sake of verisimilitude: being completely realistic. Looking alive, as it were.
In due course they anchored for the night. Nia served a nice evening meal. Rosie politely declined food, but settled for another lump of coal. “I can eat and drink, when necessary for appearance, but then I have to flush out my system. It’s messy. I prefer to save the trouble, unless you wish it otherwise.”
“That’s fine,” Dell said quickly.
The children plainly liked Rosie, and so did Tata and the peeve. If they were amused by his keeping company with a robot, they had the wit not to say so.
Kadence returned to her future for the night, leaving Ula. “But I will be there for the royal contact,” she assured them.
All too soon they retired to the bedroom. Dell’s feeling was a mixture of desire and dread. Did she really want to entertain him in the manner of a girlfriend? How did he feel about that?
“I am not conversant with the realm of Xanth proper,” Rosie said as she changed unself-conciously into a pink nightie. “But I am very good with lonely men. I know what you want tonight.”
Oh? “What is that?”
“Privacy while you clean and change. Undemanding company while you sleep. You are not yet ready for a more intimate relationship.”
“Uh, yes,” he agreed, relieved. She had him pegged as a lonely man, at least in the matter of not having a girlfriend, but an uncertain one, and was indeed giving him what he wanted.
Rosie politely faced away while he washed up and changed to his pajamas, then lay down beside him on the bed, took his hand, and slept. Or maybe it was downtime mode for her, saving power. Regardless; it worked. He was soon asleep himself.
He woke in the night, finding her there sleeping and tousled. She certainly was pretty! But she was a machine. He returned to sleep, curiously unsettled.
He dreamed he was dancing with her. He woke in the morning, wishing it was so. But of course this was foolish.
She woke. “I dreamed!” she exclaimed. “I thought I couldn’t, but I’m now in the real world, and I can! That’s wonderful. And I owe it all to you, for bringing me here to reality. I’m so grateful!”
“What did you dream?” he asked, sincerely curious.
“That I was dancing with you, the one who brought me.”
“I dreamed that too!” he said, surprised. He was also slightly bemused by the similarity to what he had said at the Sea Kingdom dance, when Noy brought him.
She considered. “I am a creature of the dream realm. At least I was. Maybe we are able to share dreams when we sleep together.”
“Maybe,” he agreed.
“Let’s do it.” She got up and opened her arms.
He enfolded her, and they danced together. She was good at it; in fact it felt almost like another dream. Was he finding feeling for her? He looked into her face, so close to his, wondering.
She kissed him. Then he knew: he was. Yes, she was a robot, a machine, burning coal for sustenance. She was also a woman. Now the notion of having a robot girlfriend no longer seemed far-fetched. So she had coal in her belly; what did a living girl have in hers?
“Oh, Rosie,” he murmured in her ear.
“I am feeling it too,” she said. “There is an attraction.”
There certainly was.
They dressed and joined the others, who did not inquire how their night had gone. The children knew they could not get an answer that violated the Adult Conspiracy, while Nia and the peeve were satisfied to let it be.
But later, when he happened to be alone with Nia, he was candid. “I didn’t touch her in that way. But I think I am starting to fall for her.”
“I confess I never anticipated a robot girl for you, but it does seem possible.”
They came to the imposing Castle Roogna with its orchard, moat, wall, and turrets. Dell felt a siege of doubt. “We’re not royal. Suppose they don’t let us in?”
“Call Kadence,” Ula said.
Oh. Of course. Dell tapped the ring.
“Blip,” Kadence said. “I know you need me for this introduction. But suddenly I’m nervous.”
“So am I,” Rosie said.
“King Ivy is your grandmother,” Nia said. “The Sorceress of enhancement. Didn’t you meet her when there was that incident with Ragna Roc?”
“Yes. But then we were all part of a great effort to save Xanth. Now it’s more routine, and—”
“What is it, dear?” Nia asked supportively.
“It’s—it’s the scandal. Mother was hardly older than I am now, when she—she did what she did. Oh, sure, she invoked a spell and became ten years older, but still in her real life she was a child. She had no business loving a man. Not even one who was half robot.”
“Half robot?” Rosie asked.
“Kadence’s grandfather is Roland Robot,” Nia said. “Her father is a cyborg.”
Rosie considered Dell sidelong. “Then if I married Dell, our child would be a cyborg.”
“Only there would be no scandal,” Kadence said. “But now I’m thinking that Grandma Ivy won’t want to see me. I can understand why.” But her lower lip was trembling.
“Dear, all she can do is say no,” Nia said. “Meanwhile we need you for the rest of the protocol.”
“Yes, of course,” the child said bravely.
They landed just inside the moat by the main gate. Dell, Nia, Kadence and Rosie stepped out, becoming visible. The guard was startled. So was the moat monster.
Fire Sail Page 26
