by L. M. Carr
Our calls end at the just about the same time. Adam asks if everything is okay with me, nodding in the direction of my phone. I ask the same of him and he replies that all is well.
***
IT’S LATE IN THE afternoon when we finally pull into my driveway and again, the ringing comes through, but this time, the ringtone is a familiar pop song. “Hi, Maddie girl.” Madison has a cell phone? She’s just six years old! There is no need for her to have a cell phone. That’s just ridiculous.
“Hi, Daddy.” Her normally sweet, happy voice is low and sad.
“What’s up? Are you having fun at Gramma’s? How’s your brother? Is he in trouble again?” He asks the last question hesitantly, his eyes narrow at the screen.
“No, he’s good, but I want to come home. Can you pick me up early?” she asks softly.
Adam turns his head to look at me as if I can offer words of wisdom. “Sure, honey,” he replies hesitantly. “But, why? What’s wrong?”
“My belly hurts and I miss you.” Her voice hiccups as though she’d been crying.
“Maddie, let me call you right back, sweetheart. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He turns the key, silencing the engine while his other hand grips the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. “I’m so sorry, Mia. I have to get her. I know this is our weekend, but she needs me.” His expression is forlorn.
“Are you kidding me? Adam, she’s your daughter! You better go to her!” I can’t believe he’s even worried about me. I would be half way there if my daughter needed me. I would do anything for my daughter.
Adam carries the shopping bag into the house. I couldn’t help but purchase a few eccentric things for my mom. “Thank you.” He pulls my face, kissing me appreciatively. “I lo– I’ll call you later.” He smiles, a look of revelation on his face and it’s immediately replaced by a look of surprise.
The last text message of the night that I receive from Adam is a picture of me. I’m asleep across his chest, my hand spread across his neck, my hair draped down over my shoulder leaving my full breast exposed. I was stunned at the intimate image because I looked so peaceful, so in love. The words he sent to accompany the picture were simple. “My sleeping beauty.”
I ARRIVE FASHIONABLY late at Adam’s house for Maddie and Luke’s birthday party. Over the years, I’ve been invited to birthday parties, sporting events and even a bar mitzvah, but I’ve never been as nervous as I am today. My bedroom floor is littered with clothes that I’ve changed into and out of a hundred times. I finally decide on black capris, ballet flats, a ¾ length red cotton jersey top paired with a cardigan and a thin scarf since it’s unusually warm for this time of year. My hair still drapes down past my shoulders, even though I’ve cut some layers into it again.
Seeing Adam’s house for the first time up close is daunting. It’s a sprawling, magnificent grey farmhouse colonial with a wraparound porch. The landscaping is impeccably well-mannered, with shrubs and low bushes spreading throughout the multitude of flower beds. Colorful trees encase the large yard. A rock fountain streams water down into a small fish pond.
I never noticed how beautiful it was before—you can’t exactly see it from the road because of the tree lined driveway. This house makes mine look like a dollhouse. I chuckle as I get out of the car when I remember how Shelby was absolutely mortified the night I made her stalk his house with me while we were out and about. It’s amazing the amount of information one can gather from a student’s file in the office. Employment information. Date of birth. Address. Phone number. Shelby said I was stalking, I called it research.
Walking around the house toward the backyard and the sound of children’s laughter, I see Adam. He’s dressed casually in dark jeans and a burgundy, long sleeved shirt pushed up at his forearms, exposing the remnants of his summer tan. I recognize many parents and children from school, all milling around playing various games. There’s an older couple standing off to the side whom I don’t recognize; they look about as out of place as I feel. It looks like a child’s dream birthday party, from the carnival games, cotton candy machine, and bounce house complete with a huge slide. This is one extravagant birthday party. There has to be at least forty kids and all their parents. I don’t think I knew that many kids growing up.
Along the way to find Madison, I’m stopped several times by parents and students telling me how sweet it is that I came. My smile widens when I see Adam’s broad shoulders and lean body standing there, talking to a small gathering of parents and a man that looks very much like Chris, Gina’s older brother, but I’m not completely positive. I haven’t seen him almost five years. Chris and Josh had been good friends growing up, but so many things have changed. When those piercing blue eyes lock with mine, I know for sure it’s Chris. His eyes seem to narrow with a look of interest combined with curiosity. There’s something else in his eyes as he stares at me, but I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Adam follows Chris’ gaze and turns towards me, his dark eyes meeting mine then crinkling when he grins. It’s not like I can just walk up to him and plant a big ol’ kiss on his lips. I’m here to attend a student’s birthday party. I want to acknowledge him so I smile, nodding slightly, and then proceed to wander around looking for Madison amongst all the laughing children.
I spot Madison by the cotton candy machine and that’s when I feel the daggers being launched in my direction, possibly even at my heart. Gina is making her way through the crowd carrying a tray of food, a disgusted look flashes across her face before she plasters on a big fake smile. I have to give it to her; she knows how to play it up for an audience just like she did at our planning meetings for the Harvest Fest.
“Miss Delaney! You made it!” Madison cries, giving me the biggest hug imaginable, causing me to drop the two gift bags that I’ve brought so I can wrap my arms around her little frame.
“Hi, Birthday Girl! I told you I would try to come and here I am.” I hug her back.
Her eyes look down at the gift bags. “You didn’t have to bring me a present. YOU are my present.” Her brown eyes crinkle just like her daddy’s.
“You want some cotton candy?” Her little hands with pink painted finger nails offer me some sugary heaven on a stick.
“I’d love some.” I smile and pull a piece off. “This is delicious!”
Her name is called by another little girl to join her on the bounce house. I urge her to go on. Madison smiles, takes her gift and runs off to set the bag down with the mountain of others before heading to the inflatable house, leaving me to finish the cotton candy.
Adam’s backyard has been transformed into a kids’ carnival. He’s really outdone himself. The loud sound of balls crashing into pins complete with hooting and hollering draws my attention and it’s where I find Luke playing a game with his friends.
“Hey, bud. Happy Birthday!” I tap the brim of his Yankees ball cap, causing it to drop low over his eyes. “Hey! Cut it out!” he readjusts his cap, realizing that it was me who tapped it. “Oh, Miss Delaney! I didn’t know you were coming.” The look on his face is priceless—it’s covered in confusion, surprise, and amusement. “Is Brady with you?” His dark eyes dart behind me, looking for his four-legged playmate.
“No, bud, sorry.” I laugh. “Brady’s at home. Here.” I hand him his gift. “It’s just a little something for you from me…and Brady, too.” I wink.
“Thanks. Wanna try?” Luke holds out a dirt-stained, white baseball. “You just throw and try to knock down the bowling pins.” He points to the pins he’s already knocked down. “It might be kinda hard ‘cuz you’re a…you know…a girl.”
What a little sexist! I wonder who he’s learned that from. “Luke Lawson! Why, I can’t believe you just said that!” My head falls back in laughter. “Gimme that.” I take the ball out of his hand and tell the game attendant, a young, long haired gangly kid, to stack them up again. “Watch and weep, buddy.” I warn, looking down with narrowed eyes. I wind up like I’m on the m
ound and let it rip, smacking all six pins down on the first try.
“No way! How’d you do that?” Luke’s jaw drops and he yells, turning a few heads in our direction.
“What do you mean, Luke? Boys can’t do that?” I tease in my best “I don’t know what you’re talking about” voice. “You know girls do play this little game called softball.” I wink, slapping the brim of his hat again before I walk away.
As I sit with a few parents and munch on some fresh fruit, I offer to hold Kim Cumming’s baby girl who is absolutely beautiful with a head of strawberry blonde ringlets. I listen quietly as I engage in my own conversation with the baby. I overhear some mothers whisper to each other about the party, gossiping about how sexy Adam is, about how lucky Gina is and what a great couple they make. Boy, that rumor didn’t take too long to start.
I can’t stand gossip. Get your facts straight before you open your mouth and spew your half-truths. Needing to get away from the women and their shallow conversation, I hand the little one back to her mother and walk over to get a drink.
“You’re amazing. I’m adding that to my list.” Adam’s voice comes up behind me as I open a bottle of water. I turn in his direction and smile. “Oh, hello, Mr. Lawson.” I extend my hand to shake his. I need to touch him. I need to know he’s mine regardless of what I hear. All these women want him, but he’s mine. I want nothing more to climb to the top of the bounce house and scream at the top of my lungs, “Back off bitches, he is MINE!” His hand closes around mine, an electric current of energy flowing between us. “I’m happy you’re here. I’ve missed you.” An outsider would think we’re having a conversation about the lovely New England weather. We maintain a certain distance and appear to be professional.
I pull my hand from his and look around at all the people gathered here to celebrate his children’s birthday. I want to keep things looking casual like a teacher and parent having a conversation about the party, not two lovers needing more than a brief touch.
“You sure know how to throw quite the party, Mr. Lawson.” I smile.
He looks at me sheepishly. “I can’t take credit for any of it, you know that.”
Ahhhhh, that’s right. This is all Gina’s doing. “Well, the kids are having a great time and that’s what really matters.” I shrug, hoping he doesn’t sense my annoyance or jealousy. I’m not really sure which it is that I’m feeling at the moment.
The party continues with deliciously catered, gourmet food, sweet cakes from a New York bakery and games to rival those at a real carnival. It’s all a little over the top if you ask me, but then again, this was all organized by Gina. I’m sure she had a field day with Adam’s credit card.
All afternoon, Adam and I steal glances, filled with lustful promises of things to come. It’s getting late and I need to get home to Brady, but Maddie begs me to stay while she opens her gifts.
I look at the huge pile and worry that we’re going to be here for a very long time. Many girly, sparkly gifts are opened, wrapping paper tossed aside. Apprehension begins to set in, wondering if maybe I’ve overstepped in selecting this gift for Madison.
Her eyes light up when she lifts the lid and discovers the wind up ballerina that twirls inside of the pink and purple musical jewelry box. Her smile falters momentarily before she jumps to her feet, running over to hug me. “Thank you, Miss Delaney. I love it so much. I really do.”
I’m a little embarrassed at her display of affection since most people got an Adam-prompted “thank you,” but all eyes are on us at the moment. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I know how much you love ballerinas.”
Gina’s voice rudely interrupts, “Okay…back to presents, Madison. You have lots to open.” Her voice is all sugar and spice, but I know better. I wish Adam could see right through her like I do.
I bend down to look Madison in the eye. “There’s something else in the bag, too. I have to get going. Thank you so much for inviting me to your party. I had a lot of fun.” Her little arms wrap around my neck, quiet words whispered, “Miss Delaney, I love you.” I feel my traitorous eyes start to tear up. “Bye, honey. See ya Monday.” I stand up quickly, pulling my sunglasses down to shield my watery eyes.
“Cool! Look, Dad! Miss Delaney got me science kit and a Frisbee from Brady. Awesome!” Adam looks over at me and mouths sarcastically, “Thanks a lot.” I chuckle because I’m sure he’ll be cleaning up plenty of science experiments gone wrong. I wave goodbye to Luke as he waves back and shouts “thank you.” Goodbyes are said to the rest of the party goers and an older woman, probably in her early sixties, watches me carefully before I walk down the long driveway to where I parked my Jeep.
The sound of hurried footsteps stops me. “Hey!” Adam’s breathy voice closes in behind me. “I wanted to thank you for coming today.” He looks around at the rows of cars parked, scanning for prying eyes. “And I wanted to give you this.” He grabs my face and kisses me fast and hard, his tongue invades my mouth. “You really are amazing.” He pulls back and then gives me another hard peck. “Drive safely.”
He begins to walk backwards, and tells me to text him when I get home. He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, watching me climb into the Jeep as I begin to back out.
TUESDAY OF THE following week, I bump into Adam and his kids at the park because Luke’s football practice had run a little later than normal. I have no choice but to make good on the promise that they could play with Brady especially since Adam did not get them a dog for their birthday.
Adam and I sit there, side by side on a park bench, watching his children run happily, as they scream and play with my big, goofy dog. He stretches and rests his arm on the back of the bench, his thumb lightly circles my shoulder. I would love to lean in and inhale his scent. He always smells so good.
His question catches me off guard, “Why did I overhear Shane telling one of the dads that you guys text all the time and that he’s hoping you’ll give him another chance?” I choke on the sip of water that goes done the wrong pipe. What? Why would he do that? I mean, it’s true, he does text me, but I don’t usually respond or if I do, it’s always a curt response. He knows I won’t give him a second chance. What a damn liar! He’s really starting to piss me off.
I wipe my chin and angle my body to face him. “I could ask you the same question. Why did I overhear a bunch of gossiping mothers at the birthday party say how lucky Gina is and what a great couple you make? They all think you and Gina are together.”
“What? Who said that?” His face scrunches and he looks as though he doesn’t believe me.
“Adam, it doesn’t matter who. It’s what they’re all saying. Or what Gina is telling them.” I wave and smile at the kids playing with Brady.
“But you know that isn’t true!” he counters.
“Just as you know that I’m not with Shane. He could call, text, and beg me to go out with him, but I’m with you. Always with you.”
Madison and Luke come running over frantically, blood dripping from Luke’s nose, sobs coming from Maddie. “Dad! Daddy!” They cry in unison.
Adam and I both jump up and rush over to them. Maddie explains through tears that she threw the Frisbee and hit him in the nose. I comfort her as Adam tends to Luke’s nose, pulling off his own t-shirt to stop the bleeding. I can’t help but gawk at Adam’s body—it’s perfect.
Without giving it a second thought, I suggest that we head back to my house to get him some ice especially since it’s already starting to swell. Adam is hesitant, but he agrees before we pile into his Escalade while Brady rides in the trunk. I refuse to let him ride in the back with the kids. A big slobbery dog and luxurious leather seats aren’t exactly a good combination. Adam and I each hand the kids our phones so they can play a game on the ride to my house. Maddie is still too upset to play, but Luke plays on my phone and inadvertently hits a wrong button, making a call. Over the Bluetooth system, the sounds of the Neon Trees’ hit song “Sleeping with a Friend” blasts throughout the car, reve
aling my name on the screen. Watching Adam’s face turn ten shades of red as he scrambles to turn it off, has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. He looks embarrassed, his eyes glance around everywhere but at me. I can’t help the wide grin on my face. Adam Lawson has a sappy side.
Luke sits on the island with a tear-stained Maddie next to him. I reach into the freezer and grab a bag of frozen peas for his bruised nose. Then I take a wet, warm washcloth to Maddie’s face, wiping away the sweat and tears, all the while reassuring her that Luke will be fine and reminding her that accidents happen.
After inspecting Luke’s nose, Adam watches me with Maddie, his eyes thoughtfully looking at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He smiles.
With lots of prodding from me and begging from his children, Adam relents and agrees to stay for dinner. Our pasta and meatballs are ready in less than twenty minutes. I’m so glad I follow my mom’s habit of keeping sauce and meatballs in the freezer. I grab one of my brother’s old t-shirts for Adam and toss his bloody one in the hamper. Since I don’t have a kitchen table, the kids wash up and help Adam set the table in the dining room which is rarely ever used any more. We sit like a family of four, Adam and Luke at each end with Maddie and me across from each other. We eat our pasta and talk about everything, laughing about nothing all at the same time. Family? No, Mia. Not a family. His family. The one you’re not a part of, silly girl.
That familiar sense of loss creeps back as I watch them back out of my driveway after we loaded the dishwasher and each had an ice cream sundae. I hate that I feel this way. I just had the best time with Adam and his kids and yet I wish it didn’t have to end.
