Since they were in my room, I couldn’t go to bed until they’d left. Sure, I’d been all agreeable about them playing there but it started to get on my nerves.
I set up a workplace in the sound booth but it wasn’t as convenient as I’d thought. There wasn’t much space to spread my stuff out and I could see straight into the studio, so that I felt on display. Plus, the damn workmen seemed to be constantly asking questions. Every time I settled down to something, my phone would beep and I’d have to run out and tell them where to put their planks of wood or their equipment. I don’t know why they couldn’t figure that out for themselves.
Then there was the drum kit and the amps and other gear taking up all the space in my room. Well, mostly it was on Tex’s side of the room but I had to squeeze past it to get to my bed and I kept hitting those bloody cymbals.
Still, it was only for a short time. Once the festival was over, it’d be just Tex and I again. Well, the workmen would be around for a while but surely once they got into the actual building, it would be less invasive.
I started to feel really protective of my time. I needed to be alone for long periods to stay sane but those periods seemed to become rarer. And, if I was totally honest with myself, I didn’t like having to share Tex. I was so used to it being just the two of us. Even if we went for a whole day without talking, it had been just the two of us alone and not talking. I could totally understand his need to rehearse. It’d been years since the band played together and he was such a perfectionist. Still, I counted off the days until the festival.
That night, Hannah dropped over to the rehearsal. She sat on my bed to watch them play. I knew there was no other place for her to sit but it was my bed. She could’ve sat on Tex’s but she’d have only seen their backs.
The whole time she sat there, I balled my fists and could only breathe shallowly. I’d bunched my fists so tightly, my nails cut into my palms.
At the end of the rehearsal, she wanted to talk to the guys.
“The record company have decided they are releasing an album to tie in to the festival. A ‘best of’.”
“Can they do that?” Tex asked.
“They can. Contractually, they definitely can. And why wouldn’t they? It’s going to be a money spinner for you guys, more than the festival fees will bring in, even.”
Brownie broke out in a huge grin. “Fantastic. I’ll be married by spring!”
“There is also talk of a new album and a tour.” She glanced up at Tex.
“No way! Not a chance in hell. It’s the festival and then it’s over.”
My body relaxed. A tour would mean Tex would be away forever. I’d be separated from him or maybe not even around. Maybe he’d not need me anymore. It made my stomach churn to think of him out there in the world without me, going to places I couldn’t go. But that wasn’t my Tex. He’d be with me. He hated outside as much as I did.
Hannah just shook her head.
“We’ll see. I’ll hold them off until after the festival. Although, we should strike while you guys are hot. The festival sold out literally in minutes once it was announced you guys were headlining. Tickets are being scalped for thousands online. This is going to be huge.”
Tex hung his head, so I couldn’t read his eyes but, from the droop of his shoulders, being huge wasn’t such a good thing for him.
“Also, there is going to be press and they are going to want you, Tex.”
“Not going to happen. I will not talk to the press. Devon can do it. He’s great with that stuff.”
Hannah shrugged.
“And we need to do a photo shoot.”
“I can do that, I guess, but do not plan anything else for me.” He folded his arms as if that was the end of things.
“I guess I can work around that.”
Devon gave a little cough. “I’m happy to do it. So long as Tex gets on stage, I’ll handle everything else. I might not have the charisma of our boy here, but I can give a quotable comment.”
“No talking about my private life. If they ask about the break, give them no comment. If they ask about the comeback, tell them Brownie needs to buy a house for his new bride.” Tex gave one of his rare grins, the “sunshine through the clouds” smile.
“How do you feel about this, Tex? The festival and being back on stage? If you have any problems, any at all, you need to let me know.”
“I’m fine,” Tex replied but this time I noticed his smile was not the same. It had a fake edge to it and I worried that there were issues that he couldn’t deal with.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
I’d retreated to the sound booth and made myself a nest on the floor using blankets and pillows. If there’d been enough room, I’d have moved my mattress in as well. At first, I’d put on my headphones and shut the door so I couldn’t hear a thing but the contractors would come knocking on the door. Tex got totally cranky if he was interrupted during practice, so I had to leave the headphones off and the door open so I could hear them.
I was really starting to regret everything. Screw Tex and screw the band. Maybe I should’ve just got a job in an office.
Devon couldn’t quite get the bass line in one of the new songs so Tex insisted he went over it and over it until he got it right. Except he never got it right. He might get it for a while then they’d play the song and he’d screw up again, so Tex would stop everything and make him replay it.
It was driving me insane.
I tried to focus on other things but it felt as if those bass notes cut right into my soul.
Since Mum was online, I had a bitch to her about it. I thought it would help her to see just how awful the outside world was to me. I fully expected no sympathy at all, but she surprised me and actually came up with a workable solution.
“There’s no one booked into the house for the next few weeks and some maintenance things have come up. You could stay over, let the maintenance man in then head over to the studio to work for the day, and go back home to sleep. That man can’t expect you to work 24 hours a day, surely.”
Mum had obviously not met Tex. I’d gone way beyond being his housekeeper to being his… I didn’t know what, something between a slave and a mother and a friend. But he’d been staying up until all hours of the night rehearsing. Way longer than Devon or Brownie wanted – but he just told them if they wanted to play the festival, they’d do the damn rehearsing or else. I couldn’t sleep until they’d finished since they were in my bedroom.
At least Tex could sleep all the next day.
“Fantastic,” I told Mum. I mean the one hour bus ride each way would be a killer but it would be an improvement on how things stood. “I’ll go over tonight. BRB.”
Just as I signed off with Mum, Devon started playing those notes again!
I interrupted their rehearsal. Tex scowled but Devon gave me a huge grin. I could imagine how much he was regretting wanting to do the festival. I wasn’t sure why they couldn’t just rewrite Devon’s bit to make it easier for him but that was something Tex would never agree to.
“What’s up, Ruby Red?” Tex asked.
“I’m moving out.”
“No way.” He looked like a puppy having his favourite chew toy taken off him. “What? Why?”
“Not for good, silly. I’m just going back home to stay for a while. I’ll still be here working during the day but I figure it’ll be easier for you guys to rehearse without me around.”
Brownie stood up from behind his drums. “Huh? But you are no trouble at –”
I shot him a look and he sat back down.
“Now, let me squeeze through so I can get my stuff.”
I shimmied around the drum kit to my half of the room, and threw some stuff into a bag. I was about to call a cab when Devon stopped me.
“It’ll cost you a fortune. I can drive you and pick us up something to eat on the way back. It’s time we took a break anyway.”
I could hardly say no when he had that desperate pleading look of “get me awa
y from Tex” in his eyes, although I usually felt uncomfortable when I got a lift with someone. You’re in their car and you have an obligation to make conversation with them. It’s totally awkward.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Tex asked as I was leaving. He had his eyebrows scrunched up as though the whole idea of me leaving didn’t compute in his brain.
“I’ll be back before you get out of bed.”
Devon’s car was an old bomb with a thick layer of dirt over it but it ran well.
“So, what’s the situation between you and Tex?” he asked as he was driving. “Surely that housekeeper thing is just a ruse.”
Wow, he didn’t hold his punches. Literally, from what I’d seen.
“It’s no ruse. I’m his housekeeper.”
He didn’t seem convinced and I got into a whole rambling, over-explaining story about how I came to work there. About halfway through, I realised he probably didn’t want to know all the details but I wasn’t sure how to stop.
As we got closer to the city, I gave him directions to get to my parents’ place. It didn’t take long to get there with the light traffic and the not being a bus.
“There’s a good place around the corner if you want food. They have pizza, pasta, the usual stuff but top quality.”
He nodded.
As I got out of the car, I thanked him for the lift.
“Say, Ruby, if you aren’t an item with Tex, would you like to go out for a drink sometime?”
Ouch, totally awkward.
“Sorry, I don’t really date. I’m not a dating type.”
I ran inside, wondering what that had been about. I wasn’t at all good at handling things like that and to be honest, even if I did date, Devon wasn’t at all my type. He was far too rock star. Too much eyeliner, too much leather.
I fished my keys out of my bag and headed inside. A warm sense of familiarity wrapped around me but there were discordant notes. The house smelt different and things had been moved around. Of course, all our personal stuff was gone and the rooms had a slick polish that made it seem more like a hotel than my home.
I turned on the heating and went to the bathroom. Oh my gosh, having a real bathroom was one of life’s underappreciated joys. I stayed under that shower until the water ran cold, scrubbing every bit of my body and revelling in the sheer wonder of it. Then I wrapped myself in one of the big, fluffy bath towels that Mum had gotten for guests.
I smelt like magnolia and had an inner glow of awesome.
The kitchen wasn’t that well-stocked. It just had basics but I found some crackers and cheese that had been left behind by the last guest. I put them on a plate and settled in front of the TV. I didn’t even care about what was on, just sitting on the luxurious sofa was enough for me.
The sofa had been moved slightly from its normal position so I had to get up and move it to the right spot. Damn people, coming into your house and moving the furniture. And what if I hadn’t found the cheese and crackers? They’d have been sitting around forever. I went online and told Mum.
She told me the cleaner would’ve found the food when they came in but since I was there, I could do the cleaning. As if I didn’t have enough housework to do in my life.
“What’s it like, being back there?” she asked.
“Fine,” I replied but then I realised it was awfully quiet. Already, I’d turned a few times to say things to Tex but he wasn’t there. I was not missing him though. No way. His normal grouchiness had turned impossible with the rehearsals. He wanted perfection, as though that would protect him against all the possible dangers life held for him.
When I got to bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. Sure, it was great being back in my own bed but there was definitely something missing, and that was the little snuffly noises Tex made in his sleep and the smell of him and that little creak his bed made when he turned.
***
Tex was distant for the next few days. I got to the house around noon each day, figuring if the builders needed me before then, they’d ring. Tex was just getting out of bed when I got there. I’d fix him something to eat and clean up then consult with the foreman of the work team. I found not being constantly on-site meant they didn’t come running to me nearly so often. That was a win for me.
“How’s rehearsal going?” I asked Tex. I was eating dinner with him before heading off for the night.
“If you cared, you’d be here for it.” He actually had a bit of pout going there too.
“It’s not even like you notice I’m here when you’re rehearsing. You’re too busy bossing Devon and Brownie around. It’s better this way.”
He kept his eyes on his food and didn’t say any more. He’d put that wall back up.
“It’s only for a few weeks anyway. Then I’ll move back in.”
He nodded but still didn’t look at me.
I thought there should be some words I could say to get him to smile again but I couldn’t think what they’d be. He had bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept well, even though he’d still been in bed every day when I came over. It was okay for him. I wasn’t sleeping and I had to get up early to do Mum’s errands then catch the bus all the way over there. I’d been running on two or three hours sleep a night. My yearning for Tex hadn’t died down at all.
I finished up eating as fast as I could.
“I should run to catch the bus. Leave the dishes and I’ll do them tomorrow.” It was ages until the bus came but I couldn’t stand the icy atmosphere between us. The place had stopped feeling like my home. I’d wanted time to myself but I missed the closeness of Tex.
He didn’t look up even when I left.
That night, my phone rang at 3am. I should’ve been angry that someone would ring and wake me but I wasn’t asleep.
It was Tex. I panicked. Why was he calling me at this time? Had there been another fire?
“Ruby, I can’t sleep. I need you. Please come home.”
The tone of his voice ripped me apart inside. I didn’t even wait to pack up my stuff. I could get it later. I ran outside and hailed a cab back to where I belonged.
It had to be the slowest cab in history. Even though the roads were empty, we got every red light on the way.
When I arrived at the studio, Tex threw his arms around me before I’d even gotten inside. I stumbled on the porch with the weight of his embrace.
“Don’t leave me again,” he said.
“I was only gone for a few days.” But he kissed me hard so that I could say no more.
It wasn’t like the first time he kissed me. He wasn’t drunk and there were no questions in my mind. I kissed him back with all the desperate longing I’d held inside. The cold night wind blew against my body but it didn’t chill me. Not when I had Tex’s arms around me.
Finally, he let go and we walked inside.
“You smell different,” he said.
“Yeah, it’s called ‘clean’”. I grinned at him.
He stared at me and I couldn’t look away even though my belly did the weirdest flip-flop thing, like I was at the top of a rollercoaster about to freefall. It was exhilarating and scary and wonderful.
We went into the bedroom and he pushed me onto his bed. With his weight on top of me, he kept staring down at me until I wondered if there was something wrong.
“What?”
“You’re home. And you’re wearing your pyjamas?”
He grinned and I grinned back but I really wanted him to kiss me again.
“I was in a hurry.” I hadn’t actually realised I was still in pyjamas until I was in the cab.
Slowly, his lip found mine and the whirlpool of desire went crazy inside me. Of course, I’d felt desire before but that had been like the buzzing of a mosquito not a full strength lion’s roar.
I curled my fingers around the curve of his butt. So many times I’d been tempted to touch him there but had to hold back. I wanted to touch every part of him, with my fingers and with my tongue.
His hand crept
inside my pyjama pants, teasing the sensitive skin, going lower. I bucked against his hand. I didn’t need teasing. I needed him inside me. His hard cock pressed into my leg and that was not where I wanted it to be.
I cried out as his fingers slipped into the red-hot heat of me. I strained against him, wanting him in deeper. Every single bit of me throbbed for him.
Then he stopped and sat up.
“Want a cup of tea?” he asked.
Huh? Seriously, huh?
“No. I don’t want a cup of tea. What the fuck, Tex? What the fuck?”
But he walked away, leaving me marinating in my own juices. I threw a cushion at him. I’d have thrown something harder if I’d been able.
“Sorry, Ruby. I just don’t think you’re ready.”
A sob caught in my throat, choking me. I was ready. I was more ready than anyone had ever been. What was wrong with him?
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
The day before the festival, we had to go to sound check. Well, I say “we” but there was no need for me to be there at all, except for idle curiosity. I’d never been to a festival before. I’d never even been to see a band play, so it was all a big novelty for me.
It took two hours for us to drive there in the van they’d hired but it was a fun drive with everyone mucking around.
I thought I’d actually enjoy the sound check more than the festival. Festivals sounded like my version of hell — thousands of people crowded into a tiny space, bodies pressing together so you have a random stranger’s sweat or hair touching you. Loud, loud music. Lights. All in all, it’d be total sensory overstimulation. I don’t deal well with that sort of thing. Of course, my hatred of things like that was one of the things Mum thought I should worry about but I figured it was a sign that I should just avoid situations that were going to bug me — and that was just good old common sense.
When we arrived, there were a whole bunch of people milling around, mostly guys. Older guys in faded black t-shirts, and some younger ones. None of them looked at Tex but they consciously didn’t look at him, as if he was royalty or something and they’d get their eyes poked out if they dared to cast their gaze upon him. I don’t know if Tex noticed but it sure as hell made me feel uncomfortable.
Rock You (Fallen Star Book 1) Page 15
