by K R Martin
"Oh?"
"Yes. In my world, we didn't have swords, or crossbows. We had daggers and bows. I know they're considered old here, but a bow in the hands of a skilled warrior can be deadly."
"And I assume you're a skilled warrior?" Renee asked, intrigued because even though she had once seen them when she visited Little Wolf's people, she had never seen him use the weapon.
"Not as much as others." He shrugged. "I was so excited when I became part of Renee's crew that I stopped practicing. When she died..." His eyes took on a haunted look, as if he gazed into the past. "I couldn't save her. I was there, but I couldn't do anything for her. I take comfort that I was able to save her children, but sometimes I wonder if I could have saved her if I was a skilled warrior."
Renee placed her hand on his shoulder, wishing she could comfort him more. One day, she would have to relieve him of his burden. He was still just a kid; he shouldn't have to shoulder that sort of weight.
"Would you teach me?" She asked, hoping she could help him forget that weight.
"I would love to!" The joy once more flooded his eyes, chasing away the ghosts. He scampered off, quickly returning with two long bows and quiver of arrows. "We can aim at that target there," he said referring to a stuffed form that already looked to have taken several arrows already.
"It looks like someone's been well enjoyed," Renee nodded to the item.
"Yeah, it has seen better days," Little Wolf chuckled. He twisted the quiver into the ground, using the dirt to hold the item between them. Taking a bow first in his left hand, his fingers deftly lifted an arrow and notched it. "The main trick is to be both controlled and relaxed when pulling the bow taught." Proving by example, he pulled the string back with ease of practice. His arms looked as if a line had been drawn across his body, following the line of the arrow. "And always breathe. Slow, deep breaths. Breathe in, find your mark, and..." She could see his chest rise, the arrow settle. His chest fell, and the arrow flew, hitting the target dead center.
"You make it seem so effortless." Renee noted as she took the other weapon he now offered.
"It takes practice, and skill, but once you know it, it's easy enough. Like your sword."
"You have a point," she bent down to retrieve an arrow. It always marveled her to feel such a flimsy piece of wood between her fingers, and to know it was as lethal as her heavy sword. She notched the arrow, but just held it there, awaiting further orders.
"Go ahead and pull it back." She nodded and followed the instructions, feeling the tension in her arms and shoulders. "First, you are too tense. Relax your shoulders," Little Wolf gently pushed down on her shoulders. "The arrow should be an extension of yourself, the arrow just lengthening your arm. The tension should feed through your arm, and out your elbow." Renee closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of her body. She could see the energy taught in the string, flooding into her hand, zipping through her arm. Her eye opened, narrowing to focus on the tip of her arrow. She lined it up, zooming in on the target. She drew her breath in, settling the weapon. "Now," the boy whispered in her ear.
She released. The string brushed her cheek and arm, stinging her bare skin. The arrow sped through the air, landing in the dummy's chest. It wasn't centered, like Little Wolf's, but far better than her earlier attempts.
"Not bad," Little Wolf clapped his hands, his eyes betraying how impressed he was.
"Thanks," Renee replied. She realized that the past two years of waiting, and her martial arts training, had given her the patience needed to master such a weapon. Not that she was a master. Yet. While she was training others, it wouldn't hurt to do some training herself.
"Do you know the best advice for archery?" Little Wolf said as he grabbed another arrow.
"What is that?"
"Practice." Little Wolf winked before releasing his arrow, landing close to his first.
Renee laughed before grabbing another arrow of her own. They settled into a companionable silence as they continued to fill the dummy with arrows. Little Wolf's landed in a small cluster, right in the heart, and while Renee's filled the entire chest, she took her time, and they slowly grew closer to Little Wolf's. By the time they emptied the quiver, Renee's arms ached. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this sore, and it felt great.
"That is impressive," Renee turned to see Desiree walk towards them with a gleam in her eyes.
"Thank you," Little Wolf spoke.
"Do you think you could teach me as well? I know I could never wield a sword, but maybe I could learn to use a weapon like that." Desiree continued, surprising Renee.
"I am surprised that a princess would be interested in combat," Renee spoke, wanting to gage why this girl would make such a request.
"I know most do not, but watching you fight, and hearing tales of Espan's former princess, it makes me wish I could as well. I may have diplomatic skills, and I do enjoy embroidery, but there is something thrilling about the idea of mastering a weapon for oneself." Renee could see the real desire in Desiree's eyes, the honest excitement. She was beginning to wonder if Desiree truly understood what her father asked of her, or if she was just another pawn in Retanny's schemes.
"I would be honored to teach you too," Little Wolf spoke. "Let me retrieve the arrows, and I can give you a beginning lesson."
"Thank you!" Desiree practically beamed, which made Renee realize just how much of a girl she was. If it wasn't for the fact that this girl was trying to marry Renee's husband, she might actually become friends with her.
"You are truly gifted." The deeper voice tore through all the pleasant thoughts, sending waves of panic through Renee. She forced a quick breath through her lungs before turning to face Conrad.
"I just want to learn as much as I can," she responded, forcing her tone light, and her eyes almost blank.
"You certainly have learned a lot in your few years," he responded, stepping closer. Renee forced herself not to move, not to cower, when every muscle in her body demanded that she run. "Perhaps, I can persuade you to visit Retanny and share your knowledge with us." His hand settled lightly on her arm. She fought herself, forcing her muscles not to twitch, her eyes not to betray the terror that screamed inside her head.
"Perhaps, some day," she said as she gently stepped to the side. A wave of relief doused her, helping her to maintain control. "But, if you will excuse me, I must begin to prepare for this evening. Little Wolf," she called to her friend, and his eyes turned from Desiree's instructions to meet Renee's. "Thank you for the lesson, and I shall see you tomorrow." He gave her a grin and a nod before returning to his teachings. "Lord Conrad," she gave him a simple curtsy before walking through the training fields.
She forced her steps to be even, slow, while she wished the field wasn't so large. It was taking too long; he could still see her, was still watching her. She could feel his eyes on her as she retreated. Just a few more steps and she'd be safely hidden in the castle's walls. The darkness was immediate, and the moment she could no longer be seen from the field, she ran. No one filled the halls, reminding her that most were already preparing for the evening as well. Good. She couldn't see anyone.
There, her room stood before her. She ran inside, breathing deeply. He had touched her. His hand grasped her arm. Her breathing quickened, her chest pained with her heart's rapid beating. He touched her. The shaking began in her arms, flooding through the rest of her body. There, the basin. She had to wash, had to get his touch off her skin. It burned, still burned.
She stumbled, forcing her feet to carry her over. Momentary relief filled her as she saw the water already in the basin. Rag in hand, she scrubbed. She had to get him off, had to remove the feel of him. She still felt him, his hand print burning deep into her skin. Her vision blurred beneath the tears, and sobs escaped her lips as she continued to scrub. She had to get rid of him. She couldn't stand him touching her. Not again. Never again...
Renee's head pounded. She couldn't remember if her head ever pounded this hard before. What happened? It was hard
to think in the pain, but she had to. What happened? The last she remembered was rocking Rosa to sleep. No, that wasn't it. She had gotten her baby to sleep. But what happened after? The headache was making it hard to think. She needed to rub her eyes. Pain wrapped around her wrists. She couldn't move her arms.
Her eyes flew open. She was still aboard a ship, but she didn't recognize the room. That's right, her ship was attacked. She fought the pirates, almost escaped, but she was wounded. She could still feel the sting in her leg. They knocked her unconscious. They must have removed her from the ship, and bound her before she woke up. Looking around, she forced herself to focus, to figure out how to get out of there. She lay on a bed, her arms bound above her head. The ropes were tight, but she could feel a little give. It would have to be enough. She began to wiggle her wrists free.
"That is a futile effort," the voice drug her from her thoughts. She turned to see she was no longer alone, if she ever was. He seemed familiar, vaguely. She blinked the pain from her thoughts, focusing once again on his face.
"Schwarz Feur," she breathed, everything coming into sharp focus.
"Glad you remember me," he stepped towards a desk, pouring himself a drink.
"Let me guess, I'm a hostage to be ransomed?" She spat.
"Well, as tempting as that may be, unfortunately your dear husband already believes you dead." The gleam in his eyes sent chills through Renee. "I left him a note, along with a memento, that should convince him of that fact. The blood that was left should also be a good sign."
"What on earth could you have possibly left...?" She stopped the thought as she felt her left hand's fingers. Namely, her fourth finger that was now missing her ring.
"As far as he knows, you are dead." He drained the last of his cup and strode back towards her.
"He is alive?" She found herself asking, afraid of the answer she might receive.
"Oh, yes, quite. We need him alive. At least for now. Plus, he was far too guarded for us to do anything to anyways. And apparently, your child was too. That is another complication in our plan, but we never found him. Her?" Renee kept her mouth shut. They hadn't found her twins, which means Little Wolf kept them safe.
"What do you want?"
"What I want is your throne," he responded. "Or, Retanny does. You see, I married the emperor's sister, and we had a daughter, the heir to the throne. Cartiana and Espan are two of the very few kingdoms not connected to Retanny, and we plan to rectify that as soon as possible. By marriage, of course. Once she is married to the king, and they have an heir, Retanny will have almost total control of the known world."
"But I am still alive," Renee said, her mind hurting again with his logic.
"For now. Believe me, you will die."
"Then why not just kill me." She spat at him. Her head ached and her heart ached. Will would hope, but even he would accept her loss. After having lost him before, she knew firsthand just how much sorrow he was experiencing.
"First, I don't kill. I leave that to my underlings. Second," his eyes turned predatory as he stalked towards her. "It's not every day I get to have my way with a queen. And one of the most feared pirate captains in the world." Renee's heart froze. She'd seen that look before; when she was taken by the usurper, he had gazed at her in that way before trying to force himself on her. Will had rescued from that monster, but now... "I'm going to enjoy taking everything from you."
No!
Ama Lei knew something was wrong when she saw Renee dash by her open door. Renee never lost her calm. She stepped into her captain's room, and her heart ached. Renee's hand scrubbed her arm furiously, already turning her skin red, and if she didn't stop, soon she'd bleed. Swiftly stepping behind Renee, Ama Lei placed her hand on her friend's to still her motions. Renee turned to look at her, and her eyes were already red from tears.
Taking the rag, she gently wiped Renee's arm with the water. She could feel as the tension left her friend's arms, and Renee's body almost folded over itself. Ama Lei led Renee to the bed, sat beside her, and wrapped her arms around Renee's shoulders. It took only a moment before Renee broke down and cried into Ama Lei's shoulders, Ama Lei fought back her own tear at seeing her dearest friend, one of the strongest women she'd ever met, reduced to this.
It had to be Conrad. Ama Lei remembered the first time she had stumbled across Renee like this. Only a few weeks after they met, Ama Lei had heard the cries late at night. Sword in hand, she burst into Renee's room, surprised to see the princess scrub her skin raw as she wept. Renee told her everything that night, and Ama Lei listened as she tried to comfort her new friend. But how can one truly comfort a woman who'd been so abused?
Soon, she learned that Renee just needed a friend, someone to hold her and let her cry. So that's what Ama Lei did. It had been months since Renee had an episode like this, though. Whatever Conrad did, Ama Lei was going to make him pay. No one hurt her friend and got away with it.
Renee's sobs quieted, and her trembling lessened. Good. Ama Lei knew she wouldn't accept not performing that evening, but she didn't want Renee to allow others to see just how vulnerable she could be. She needed to exude strength and confidence, and this woman was a beaten shell.
Spera's fussing cut into Ama Lei's thoughts. The change in Renee was almost immediately. She quickly wiped her tears, sniffed, and stood to lift her child in her arms. Renee cuddled her daughter close, her gaze far away as she rocked Spera. The child was certainly a gift, for she helped Renee cast off the pain more than anything else. Before Spera was born, Renee would frequently disappear into the pain, but Spera's birth gave Renee hope and happiness, and strength. Renee's eyes closed, and Ama Lei could watch her breathe in the relaxation.
"You've had a rough start in life," Renee muttered into her daughter's hair. Her eyes opened, turning to Ama Lei's. "I can't help but be thankful she's as healthy and happy as she is."
"I know," Ama Lei replied. "We still have some time before preparing for tonight. I would recommend begging illness, but I know you better." Renee smiled, the pain disappearing from her eyes. Good.
"Perhaps something slower tonight, though," Renee spoke her thoughts aloud. "It would help alleviate the pain."
Ama Lei knew it would. Renee wasn't the first abused woman Ama Lei had met, and many released their pain through dance. Growing up, she noticed many of the lovelier servants would suddenly turn to shells, their eyes haunted. She never knew why until after the coup. In some ways, she understood why the men revolted. Her father and brother were not good men; they took any woman they wanted, destroying her dignity and innocence in the process.
Sometimes, she wondered if things were better under the new rulers. After all, she had done nothing to help her people when she had the power to do so. She should have tried to; she should have at least understood what happened. She didn't then, but she did now. And she was going to do all she could to help her friend get past the terrible event.
"How am I going to tell him?" Renee's voice broke through Ama Lei's thoughts.
"He loves you. I can see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. If he is as good as you've told me, and as good as those here believe him, he will forgive you. Trust him." Renee nodded, before turning her attention back to her child. The love flooded her eyes once again, and Ama Lei felt some relief. Her friend would be okay. Renewed determination set in. Ama Lei would make that man pay for what he did to Renee. She would do her job, she would find all his secrets, and she would help see his downfall.
14
As Will stepped into the garden, he felt relief seeing Varda there and waiting for him. After her performance that evening, he had wondered if she was going to meet him. He didn't realize how glad it made him to see her there.
"Good evening, Your Majesty," she said as she gave him a curtsy.
"It is rather nice, isn't it?" he remarked as he stepped beside her. They began walking, a companionable silence falling between them. She seemed lost in thought, much like she had after her dance. "This evening's dance
was lovely," he finally broke the silence, needing to venture to the one topic he couldn't stop thinking about.
"Forgive me for the dance," Varda spoke, and in the moon's light he could see a slight blush creep into her cheeks. "I suppose I needed to vent some of my emotions."
"I think we all need that from time to time. You left so quickly, I couldn't tell you how much I truly did enjoy it. It reminded me of Renee, in so many ways." The brown eyes that met his were filled with such wonder, he couldn't stop the words that continued from his lips. "Not many know this, but when my parents passed, I did not ascend the throne. Instead, a usurper, a man identical to me, had claimed the throne as his own. I lived in hiding for so many years, but when Renee came to visit, she saw right through me. I fell in love in her while in hiding. We were married in secret, long before our 'official' wedding. Not long after, I was sent on a mission, and taken captive by pirates. I was declared dead."
Varda's eyes glistened with the tears that threatened to fall. "Renee lived with the knowledge of my death for well over a year. But in that time, she forged her own path, became a pirate captain in her own right. Many have heard of the exploit of the great Espan Rose, but not many know she was the Queen of Cartiana." He couldn't stop the smile, even through the pain. It felt good to tell their story, to have another understand. "My wife was unrivaled. She was strong in the midst of such despair, and fought for our people alone. She earned the gratitude of two nations, and deep respect from some of their greatest warriors."
"She was some woman," Varda's voice was soft as she broke contact.
"There is none like her. But when I saw you dance tonight, I could see her dance like that, after my death. It was so sorrowful, but in its pain, so breathtaking and beautiful. It's a type of pain that not many understand."
"No, they do not," her voice barely carried to his ears. "Sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed with my past, unable to see a future with it."
