“Hola Maria,” I reply, hoping she isn’t about to launch into Spanish. I’m not picking up the language as quickly as I’d like, despite her best efforts.
“You’re doing homework?”
“Yeah, some chemistry and then I have to move on to English.”
“How is school?”
“It’s okay, better than it was.”
“You’ve made friends.”
“I guess so.”
“You seem…” She hesitates, struggling for the words. “Not happier, but more settled.”
I guess I am. I’ve accepted that this is where I am for the time being and there’s nothing I can do about it. To be totally honest, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve met some nice people and all I have to do is keep my head down until next July. That’s still my goal—making it to July so I can return home and get on with my life.
“How are things with you and Ethan?”
I’m not sure what he’s told her about the current state of our relationship. She knows we had the mother of all fights. She’d be a fool not to know that, and I know he confides in her, but I don’t know if she knows the extent of our problems. “They’re okay.”
She cocks an eyebrow at me, letting me know she’s not buying my bullshit.
I chuckle. “Well they’re better than they were a couple of days ago.” That much at least is true. Since that scene with Matty, I know he’s not as angry with me. I know he appreciates what I did there.
“I’ll tell you what I told him: don’t give up on each other. Sibling are important, and twins are extra special. Don’t give up on each other.”
I bite my lip as I mull her words over. Two months ago I would have laughed at her and dismissed her completely, but now I find myself believing her. I don’t want to give up on him…even if up until the whole Matty thing it felt like he had given up on me.
I suddenly stand up from my bed and close the distance between us, wrapping her small frame in a hug. She’s clearly surprised, and it takes her a couple of seconds to react before she’s hugging me back tightly.
“Thank you, Maria, for what you do for us, and for looking after him when he was here on his own.”
She stands on her tiptoes and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “You’re not as tough as you think you are, Izzy.”
I grin at her, taking a step back.
She smiles in return before a frown takes over her features. “Although you might want to bring out your tough attitude for the next ten minutes.”
“Huh?”
“The reason I came up here—your grandmother is downstairs.”
I walk cautiously down the stairs, knowing it would be pointless to hide in my room, and enter the kitchen to find her stood by the island in the middle of the room, facing Ethan and Finn, who are sat at the large dining room table.
“And how’s your mother, Finlay?”
“She’s well, thank you ma’am.”
Ma’am. I bite back a smile. Whilst I’m not exactly pleased to see him here since I’m avoiding him the best way I can since he rejected me, his heavy accent twitches my lips. Ma’am—I haven’t heard him say that before, and I’m reminded that he’s a Southern boy through and through, minding his manners in front of his elders.
“And you, Ethan, what have you been up to?”
Ethan shrugs sullenly. “This and that.” He’s clearly not ready to forgive her for what she said the last time we saw her and she thought it was okay to insult our mother.
I expect my grandmother to lay into him over his response, but her eyes focus on me as I walk farther into the room and her face immediately contorts into a frown at the sight of me. “Isabella, what on earth are you wearing?”
“Sweatpants and a T-shirt.”
Her eyes scan up and down the navy sweatpants, which I’ve had for years and have a hole in the bottom hem, and then the white t-shirt (formerly white t-shirt) with a picture of David Bowie on the front that has been washed so many times it’s now an off-white greyish colour. “You look positively horrid.”
I sigh. It’s not even been a minute and she’s already insulted me.
“And have you washed your hair today? I can see the grease in it from here.”
“Grandma—”
“It is so important to take pride in your appearance, Isabella, especially for someone of your status in life.”
“I don’t—”
“I know you’re not thinking ahead, which is why you need to take my guidance. First impressions are very important, and you never know when you may come across a potential, suitable suitor.”
The woman is crazy. Certifiably crazy.
“Is there something you wanted, Grandma? Maria said you wanted to speak to me.”
“Well yes, I’ve been trying to contact you for weeks and you haven’t responded to me. It’s left me little choice but to come over here.”
If it was that important to her to see me she would have come sooner.
She looks around the kitchen in disdain. “I forget how crass it is in this house. Your father really should have taken my advice when it came to the interiors.”
“What did you want?” I ask, my tone conveying my annoyance.
“The Rosemary Gala—you didn’t come despite me specifically telling you to be there. You missed an opportunity to meet some very influential people in the state and make some very important social connections.”
I glance behind her at Finn and Ethan, who are trying not to laugh. Why am I the only one getting this grilling? Ethan’s her grandchild too—why isn’t she having a go at him?
“I’ve come to hear your excuse as to why you didn’t come.”
“I didn’t want to.”
She freeze in surprise at my words. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t want to come and spend time with you.”
She blinks rapidly in my direction, like she can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. “Excuse me?”
“The last time I saw you, you said some unforgivable things about my mum, and I don’t want to be around someone like that.”
“Isabella Carlington—”
“I actually go by Kavanagh. I don’t want to use the Carlington name.”
“You…you’re not…you don’t…” She splutters over her words as she stares at me in complete disbelief.
“So unless you want to apologise for what you said about my mum”—my eyes fall on Ethan, who is also staring at me in shock—“sorry, our mum, I’m going to go back upstairs to finish my homework.”
She stares at me with her mouth hanging open for what feels like hours. Finally… “How dare you? You have got to be the most pig-headed girl I have ever met. It’s like you were dragged up rather than brought up by that obstinate—”
“Stop!” I interrupt. “Just stop it, okay? You can’t say that stuff about her.” I rake my hand over my eyes, suddenly tired. “She was our mum, okay. She was our wonderful, caring, brilliant mother, and I loved her.” My eyes flit to Ethan. “We both did.” And I know that’s true. I know now, despite what I thought when I first got here, that Ethan loved Mum too. “And we miss her a lot, so much that it hurts, and I can’t have you say anything bad about her. I just won’t have it. If you want to have any sort of relationship with me then you need to respect her and her memory. If you can’t say anything nice about her then I don’t want to hear it, and if you can’t do that, you should just leave and don’t come back.”
She stares back at me incredulously, but I don’t break eye contact with her.
“I mean it, Grandma. I don’t want to be around you if you’re going to talk about her like that.”
Her body is shaking, she’s so angry. She turns to Ethan but gets no sympathy there. He just watches her with his arms crossed before she turns back to me.
“How dare you—”
“Her memory is the most important thing in the world to me,” I say firmly, “and I won’t have you disrespect it.”
After a minut
e or so of complete silence, she picks up her bag and brushes past me, leaving the room.
The silence is interrupted by a slow clap, which gets faster and faster, and I turn my attention to Ethan, who is clapping his hands with Finn beside him, a wide smile on his face. “That was awesome.”
It’s not awesome. It’s just the truth, and it’s something I should have said before.
“Well done, Izzy,” Finn says, looking almost proud of me.
I go to the fridge, open it up, and reach for the juice. I pull it out just as I hear the click of heels on the marble and footsteps approach. I turn to see my grandmother in the doorway, a strange look on her face.
Here we go.
She looks at me for a couple of seconds before her gaze darts over to Ethan and then returns to me.
“Your mother was…”
She pauses, and I brace myself for it, for whatever insult she’s going to say that is just going to make me hate her.
“Strong.”
My eyes snap to her.
“She was a very strong woman.”
I stand up straighter as she looks back at me.
She gestures towards the island in the room. “May I?”
I nod and she walks over to it, resting her bag on the countertop.
Her eyes move to Finn. “Would you mind giving me a minute alone with my grandchildren, Finlay?”
He wordlessly exits the room, leaving just Ethan and me to hang off her words as she tells us something we never thought would come out of her lips.
She takes a deep breath, hesitating over her words. “Your mother and I were from completely different worlds. Nobody would ever deny that. When she showed up with your father for the first time, I warned him not to marry her.”
My body stiffens at her words.
“Now don’t take that so personally. Your father is from Southern society and your mother grew up in a tiny flat thousands of miles away in a big city. Any fool could see that it would never work, but your father is stubborn and selfish and didn’t think of the consequences so he did it anyway. He tried playing the role of husband and it didn’t fit. She tried her hardest, I know she did, but she wasn’t cut out for this world and she was miserable. So was he. The novelty of playing the family man soon wore off and he went back to his old ways.”
I have never, ever heard her criticise my father before.
“And your mother was strong. She saw what he was doing, saw his betrayals, and she walked away without a penny to her name. That takes tremendous courage.” Her voice falters slightly. “Trust me, I would know.”
My eyes skip to Ethan, who is staring at her like she has two heads. Is she trying to tell us Grandpa is or was unfaithful?
Her head turns to me. “I always wanted a daughter, a little girl all to myself that I could dress up and teach the ways of society.” She shakes her head with an incredulous smile on her face. “I know that sounds silly to you, but it’s what I wanted since I was a little girl. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and after three miscarriages, I couldn’t put myself through it again.”
Her hand shakes at she brushes her hair back from her face, and I stare at her in shock. I have never seen my grandmother vulnerable before, have never seen her like this.
“Your father is my son and I love him, but he’s selfish and egotistical and he’s never here. You two were a chance to start again, and you must believe me when I tell you nobody was happier than me when you were both born. Finally a little girl. When you were born, Isabella, I was ecstatic.” She smiles over at Ethan. “Of course I was delighted with you too, Ethan, but I finally had the little girl in the family that I had craved. I know I didn’t go about it in the right way. I know I wasn’t the right support for your mother alone in a different country in a lifestyle she didn’t know, and I know I should have tried harder to make it easier for her. I know she found me snobbish and meddling, but I was mesmerised by you from day one, Isabella. There’s no denying that.”
I honestly think if I was sat on a chair I would have fallen off it by now.
“I guess I never really forgave her for forcing your father first to New York and then moving you back to London.” She shrugs and sends me a sad smile. “Your mother and I are…were very different people, there’s no denying that, and there are certain things about your upbringing that I don’t agree with, that I certainly would have done differently, but she wasn’t a gold digger. She was a strong woman, and I know that. I’m sorry.”
I let out a long, shaky breath, even though I’ve not said a word. That’s the most my grandmother has ever said to me. That’s the most honest she’s ever been with me by a long, long way.
“And while I know you don’t know me, and I know you’re not particularly inclined to spend time with me, I would like it very much if we could try to build some sort of relationship in the remainder of your time in Texas. I’d like to suggest that you and Ethan could come over to the house once a month for dinner. I’d like to try, Isabella, and you too, Ethan. I know you’ll both find this hard to believe, but I care about you both more than you can possibly imagine. ”
It takes me a minute to realise she’s expecting a response. My eyes find Ethan, and he nods just slightly at me. “We can do that,” I say softly.
She nods and then places her bag over her shoulder. “The first Thursday of every month, I’ll expect you both for dinner at seven sharp. I shall look forward to it.” Her smile wavers slightly as she looks me up and down and a grimace takes over her features. “Although, Isabella, if you arrive dressed like that, I can’t promise I’ll allow you entry into my house.”
I smirk as she departs the room, not even caring about her insult. After all, I can’t expect miracles, and she’s certainly surprised me enough tonight.
Later that night I yawn as I make my way into the kitchen and fill my glass with water. I’ve been trying to sleep but can’t stop thinking about Matty and how upset he was and then about my grandmother and how surprising her announcement about my mother was. My stomach rumbles and I’m just trying to figure out when the last time I ate was when I glance towards the table and see Ethan’s calculus textbook lying there. I bite my lip as I take in the rows and rows of equations he’s completed in the notebook next to it, and after only a second of hesitation, I make my way over to it, unable to resist.
He was at the kitchen table when I got in from school, his head down as he methodically wrote out equations and figured them out. He was still at it as soon as Finn left and then again when I came down into the kitchen to grab a drink an hour ago, only then he looked slightly less serene. At that point, he was pulling at his hair and rubbing his eyes. I didn’t stop to see if he needed any help, and he didn’t ask me for any.
I set my phone down next to his notebook and flip through the last couple of pages. It’s the stuff we’ve been working on in class and he’s repeated the style of question over and over again, repetitively answering them so he makes sure he understands. And he does. He’s made sure he gets it with the same drive that’s made him the best football player in the state, the determination to do things right, and for the first time in a long time, I feel a certain pride for my brother. Schoolwork does not come naturally to him. It’s a hard slog he has to work at every single day, but he doesn’t take the easy option like I suspect a lot of his team does. He doesn’t let any of the teachers pass him just so he can stay on the team and carry on letting him win football games for the school. No, he makes sure he completes the work, even if it takes him three times as long as everyone else.
I flip forwards a couple of pages in his notebook, taking in all the notes I see. I’m no expert on his work time these days, but I have a feeling this took him hours and hours to complete. I flip to the more recent equations; they’re what Mr. Evans has just introduced in class. The same methods are used but they’re slightly more complicated, and it’s easy to skip a step then wind up with the wrong answer. That’s where Ethan’s gone wrong.
“What ar
e you doing?”
I jump away from Ethan’s notebook like I’ve been caught stealing or something and retreat back to the fridge as he strides over and snatches it up from the table.
“Were you looking at my work?” he asks accusingly.
After that stuff with Matty before, we’ve been way less hostile with each other around the house. He warmed up leftovers for me earlier, and whilst the conversation didn’t exactly flow, we did eat side by side. Still, that doesn’t mean he wants me looking at his schoolwork. Clearly he doesn’t want me anywhere near it. He’s always been sensitive about school around me.
I clear my throat and refill my water just as my phone starts ringing from its place next to his notebook. He glances down at it and a scowl immediately fills his face as he slides it down the counter towards me. I glance down and grimace when I see Craig McGarretty flashing up on the screen, and I immediately end the call and swipe it away. I haven’t spoken to him since he turned up at school that day, but it hasn’t stopped him trying to get in touch with me. I’ve been getting a couple of texts per day and the odd phone call; that’s how desperate he is. I never respond or answer the phone, but with Ethan standing there, it’s definitely not good timing. The last thing I need is him still thinking something’s going on with Craig, and I kick myself for not just blocking his number. Ethan backed me up against those idiots in the cafeteria last week and I helped him with Matty today, but there’s still a certain tension between us, and if the disgust on his face at Craig’s call is anything to go by then he’s still not happy with me.
I make it to the door before I turn back to face him. “So what Grandma said earlier was pretty wild, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” I’m so awkward right now. “Um, those equations we were working on yesterday in class are all right. Every single one of them.”
His face flashes with pride before he quickly masks it. We both know how much it means to him that he’s understanding and completing work in an AP class. Even if he can’t get the answers in class and it takes him longer, he’s still doing it, and that’s something he’ll always be able to pride himself on.
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