He turned his head away.
“Stephen,” she said more urgently. She went around the bed to look into his face. His eyes were focused. “Tell me, please.”
“I don’t belong,” he said, in a voice she could barely hear.
“What did you say, my dearest? That you do not belong?”
“I don’t belong,” he mumbled. “Look at me. I am nothing.”
It was like a knife in her vitals. “No, Stephen. Do not think that. You do belong. Everyone here loves you, is praying for you.”
She almost did not hear him speak. “I should have killed myself,” he whispered.
A wave of horror pounded at her brain. She grabbed at the head rail to keep from reeling.
“What did you say?” she asked, her voice rising. “Kill yourself?” She dropped to her knees. “Stephen!” she cried, tears filling her eyes. “Is this what we both waited for, prayed for, worked night and day for?” She grasped his hand and held it to her face. “Feel these, my darling. They are tears. I have shed them for forty-four years.” She pressed his hand to his mouth. “Taste, Stephen. Taste the salt and the longing.” Then she jumped to her feet, her face tight with emotion that had overflowed all bounds. “You will not kill yourself!” she shouted at him. “Do you hear! You will not die! I will not allow our lives to be wasted!”
She did not wait for an answer, but left the room almost at a run. She hastened into the sitting room, her breasts rising and falling in agitation, and over to the phone.
“Operator!” she shouted, banging the bar with determination. “Operator, get me long distance, at once.”
CHAPTER 49
The plane landed at mid-morning and taxied down the small field to a group of people and some vehicles waiting at the runway. When the door opened, Hanna stepped out and walked down the steps. A man in uniform strode forward. They embraced, kissing warmly.
“Look at you, little brother,” said Hanna, surprised. “Are you now a general?”
Zelek was as proud as could be in his resplendent uniform. “Yes, last month.”
She hugged him with pride and kissed him again. When they drew apart, Zelek turned towards a small, slim woman with thick, brown hair streaked with gray. “This is Sophia, my wife,” he said with pleasure.
Hanna reached out and placed her arms around Sophia. “As beautiful as Natalie”, she thought. She kissed her on the lips. Sophia’s face grew brick red. She was terribly shy. She was being held by an enormously rich legend. “Welcome, my sister,” said Hanna.
Sophia thrust out a bouquet of flowers she was holding. “Thank you, and welcome…” She did not know what to say.
“Hanna,” prompted Hanna.
The small woman smiled, her face lighting up. “Thank you, Hanna.”
Zelek motioned up a young, good-looking man in his mid twenties. He stood half a head taller than his father. “This is Israel,” he said softly.
Hanna bit her lip, and then she kissed him eagerly on both cheeks. “How much I have heard of you,” she said.
“Israel is an electrical engineer,” said his father with pride. “And this is Natasha,” he went on. “Israel’s wife. She is a pharmacist.” She was a tall, rounded woman, radiating confidence. In her arms was a baby boy, about two. Hanna kissed her warmly, and then held out her arms for the baby. Natasha passed him over at once.
“Another generation,” she mused. “So this is Jakob.”
“Yes,” said Zelek. “After Jakob Golub, may he rest in peace.”
Hanna’s eyes clouded over. “Thank you, thank you, little brother,” she said softly, kissing the child.
“And this,” continued Zelek, drawing over a slim, beautiful girl in her early twenties, “is my very determined daughter, Anna Motlie. She is about to become a doctor.”
Hanna held out her free arm, and they exchanged kisses on the cheek, Anna not at all abashed by her dynamic aunt. “Welcome to Russia, Aunt Hanna.”
Two men started down the staircase, carrying a litter. Zelek raised his arm, and a lieutenant standing to one side gave a quiet order. An ambulance backed closer, and a man and a woman stepped out. They helped the stretcher bearers place Stephen inside the vehicle. Two cars drew up, one a staff sedan with a general’s pennant on its fender. The plane’s crew were taking out bag after bag of expensive luggage.
“The woman is a nurse,” explained Zelek. “She will watch over Stephen.”
“He is heavily sedated,” said Hanna.
“Did you hear that, comrade?” said Zelek.
The nurse snapped to attention. “Yes, Comrade General. I will guard him carefully.”
“Good.” He opened the door to his sedan. “The children will accompany us in the other car,” he told Hanna. “Lieutenant, take care of the luggage.”
“Wait,” said Hanna. She looked over the bags and pulled out a small one. “I will take this with me.” She turned to Natasha. “May I carry Jakob?”
Natasha smiled with delight. “Of course, Aunt Hanna.”
Hanna and Sophia got in back with the child, and Zelek took a seat next to the driver. Soon the three vehicles were off.
“I have a gift for Jakob,” said Hanna. She opened the bag and took out a monkey holding cymbals. Winding it, she let it start, the cymbals being banged together. Jakob cried with joy and held out his hands. Sophia and Zelek were just as amused. Hanna passed over the toy, and then drew out a slim case which she handed to Sophia. “For you, sister, with all my love.”
Sophia looked inside eagerly, her face blushing again. Then her eyes opened wide and her mouth formed a perfect O. She turned it towards Zelek. Inside was a lustrous, pearl necklace and matching earrings.
“Oh, Hanna,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Wear them in good health,” said Hanna. “Come, let me help you put them on.”
Soon they were donned, and Hanna passed over her purse mirror for the excited woman to view her gift.
“And you, little brother,” said Hanna, handing over a small package.
Zelek opened it just as eagerly, and then his face glowed as he held up for inspection a gold Zippo lighter. “Sister,” he said with awe. “Do you know that a soldier would hit his best comrade over the head for just a steel Zippo?” He clicked it a number of times, delighted to see it work so flawlessly. He drew out a package of cigarettes and lit one with relish.
“Do you no longer roll your own?” asked Hanna, smiling.
He shook his head. “Generals never do.” He leaned back nearer to her. “Except when this one is off by himself.” He sat quietly for a few moments, then he turned. “Why did you bring Stephen here, Hanna?”
She shook her head. “I really don’t know. Something told me that he needs to connect to his former life. I’m hoping it will happen here.”
After an hour of riding, they drew up in front of a small, worn, clapboard house, newly painted. To one side was a barn, and two painters were giving it finishing touches. Zelek stepped out of the sedan. He waved at the painters. “That’s enough for today,” he ordered them. “Come back tomorrow.” Then he reconsidered. “Not tomorrow, in three days.” They snapped to attention and began putting their tools together.
Zelek led Hanna inside the house. It contained only a kitchen and two bedrooms, simply furnished. “It was the best I could do,” apologized Zelek.
Hanna’s eyes were probing each corner. “It is exactly right,” she said.
“There is a pump at the front for water,” explained her brother. “The toilet is out back.”
The ambulance driver and nurse carried in Stephen. He was still asleep.
“Here, please,” said Hanna, leading the way into a bedroom. She was gratified to see that it held a new mattress and clean sheets.
When Stephen was placed in position, they all gathered in the kitchen. “I will leave the nurse to help you,” said Zelek.
“I would like to help also,” said Sophia.
“Thank you, no,” said Ha
nna. “I would prefer to take care of him myself.”
Zelek nodded in understanding. “Very well, sister. But I will leave the second car and the driver in the village. He will pass by each day to see if you need anything.”
“Thank you.”
When all had gone, she lit the kerosene stove and put on water to boil for tea. She inspected the shelves. Zelek had stocked them with a number of tins. A small icebox stood to one side. She opened the lid. It held a block of ice. Inside was a container of milk, eggs, vegetables, butter, and other fresh supplies.
After sipping at a cup of tea, she checked over the second bedroom. It was more sparsely furnished than Stephen’s. She carried in her luggage and began unpacking. There were no hangers, so she hung her dresses on nails in the walls.
She heard Stephen stirring, and walked into his room. He was wide awake, rubbing his eyes.
“Where are we?” he asked.
“I will tell you later. Would you like a glass of tea? And a slice of bread and jam?”
He shook his head. “I am not hungry.”
“All right. Can you get up, Stephen?” she asked.
“I think so.” He made an effort, but she had to help him to his feet. Supporting him carefully around his waist, she led him outside.
He looked about, not understanding this change of scene. He stared at the house, then over at the barn. Suddenly, he tensed. He looked again at the house, and then his mouth opened with total surprise.
“Hanna!” he whispered urgently. “We are home!”
Her eyes were filling. “Yes, Stephen. Your old farm.”
He stood as if petrified, then, slowly, he kneeled. He dug his fingers deep into the soil, grasped a handful, then lifted it to his nose and sniffed. A glow of pleasure flowed over his face. He took in a deeper breath of the soil, and then he rubbed it between his hands, caressing it. Struggling, but motioning away Hanna’s offer to help, he got back to his feet.
He shuffled towards the barn. When he pulled at one of the large doors, it did not give way. He tugged again; his breath coming in short gusts. Hanna walked over and gave him a hand. It opened under her added effort. He stepped inside. To the right was a stall. In it was a sleek, well-curried mare. He walked over to it, his eyes lighting up. The horse muzzled at his arm. He stroked the silken nose, her nostrils blowing out jets of warm air. She spun away playfully, and then came back, tossing her head, asking to be coaxed. Stephen just smiled at her, waiting, and soon she came muzzling at him again.
He turned to the left. A trim, heavy-uddered cow was eyeing him as she chewed at hay in her bin. Stephen went over to her. He ran his hand gently across her rump. She twitched under his touch, but did not stop eating. He pulled over a stool and sat down, inspecting her teats. He took one in his hand and drew down. A stream of milk came out. He aimed a flow into his other hand and sucked at it.
A number of chickens and geese were pecking here and there. One started towards the door, but Hanna raised her arms to keep it inside.
“Let it out,” said Stephen. “It won’t go far.”
Hanna stepped aside and watched it escape from the barn.
Stephen got up slowly and walked towards the door. He peered at it closely, and then he pointed. “Up there, Hanna,” he said. “It needs planing. Do you think you can get me a plane?”
Her heart was pounding so hard that she was afraid it might burst right there. “Yes, my dearest. I will get one this very afternoon.” She would turn Gremai upside down to find one.
They went outside, and he pushed shut the door. Was he standing a little taller? Yes. Yes, he was. Hanna was sure of it.
They started back to the house, Hanna walking slowly beside him. He stopped. “Did you say you have tea made?” he asked.
“Yes, my dear. I have a pot full.”
He nodded his head as he continued walking. “I would like a glass, please.” He took another step or two. “You did say you have bread?”
“Yes, my dear one. And jam.”
“That would go very well.”
“How about an egg? I have some fresh ones in the icebox.”
“That would do just fine, too.”
Halfway to the house, he placed an arm around her waist. It was not for support.
CHAPTER 50
July 7, 1948
My dear son, Paul:
I received your letter today, and thank you for writing. I also apologize for sending only scribbled notes, but it has been very hectic until now. First of all, tell Helene she is doing great with the designs. Have her continue to use her good judgment.
Stephen has recovered so wonderfully that I cannot believe he is the same man. He has gained nine kilos. He could gain more, but I think it is best to do it gradually. And he stands straighter each week. He is now half a head taller than I. I found him pushing his back against the barn one morning to make it straighter and slipped away before he saw me. If you knew Stephen when he was a young man, you would understand that he can do anything he puts his mind to.
He has been working the field with the horse, and I must order him in for food or rest, else he would keep going from dawn to dark. He gets up in the morning even before me, and has my breakfast always ready. I am being spoiled. Now and then I sneak a look from the window to make sure he is all right, and just as often, I find him peeking in the door to look at me.
I received the windmill, generator, pickup truck, and tractor that you sent. Having all the manuals translated into Russian was very wise. Stephen and some men from Gremai put up the windmill, and we now have running water. We have added two rooms to the house. We installed the bath fixtures you previously sent and Stephen cannot get over them. I have to explain often that the septic tank will not flow over if he uses the toilet when he wishes.
I taught him to drive the pickup. He does well, except when he sees something which interests him and forgets he is driving. He worries all the time that I am spending so much money. I have not told him how wealthy we are. I think it would frighten him. Now we have electric and play music all the time.
I checked about new teeth for him. Everything is out-of-date here – only steel teeth–so we went to East Germany last month. They said it would take six or seven weeks, so I passed over an envelope with some money, and he had a bridge and porcelain caps in four days. They did beautiful work. Every time Stephen passes a mirror, he smiles and clicks his teeth. They changed his whole face, and he chews his food much better.
We went boating in the river like we did when young, and caught five fish. I actually got three. Then we went ashore. There used to be a woods there, but they put up two houses some years ago. One woman called us in for tea and cookies. Everyone in the district knows of Stephen; the man who spent forty-four years in Siberia. Afterwards, we walked in the woods behind the house. (She did not mention it, but they made love there for the first time since his return) The Soviets let me bring in anything I want, since I am using Swiss and American money, and they have so little goods. The district leaders have asked Stephen to sit on their council and supervise their agricultural committee. I think it is because we are the only ones with a tractor, and they are hoping we will allow them to use it. I have not told Stephen yet, but I would like you to send another truck, tractor, and a combine, which I will donate to the district.
Zelek and his family have visited us again. It was like turning back the clock fifty years. If only you were here with us, it would be perfect. I told them you would come in October, and everyone is planning a big party. After your visit, I will take Stephen back to England for a vacation. It may be too cold here for his lungs. I have to laugh when I think of his reaction when he sees our house in Kensington.
That is all for now, my darling. I promise I will write more often and send you pictures of us.
Many kisses,
Mother
Zelek and his family visited again towards the end of July. They were astonished at the continual improvement of Stephen. Stephen and a helper from
the village had built a long table and benches to eat outdoors, and Hanna had brought in a woman to help in the kitchen. She had prepared many of the delicacies difficult to get in Russia, and all ate until they were gorged. Anna Motlie had captivated Stephen with her frank, intelligent manner, as she had Hanna, and soon the two of them took off for the stable, arm in arm, talking without pause. In short order, Stephen brought out his mare, glistening with good health and loving care, and helped Anna Motlie climb aboard. Hanna watched with amazement, for Stephen allowed nobody except the veterinarian to touch that animal. Anna Motlie dug in her heels and went flying over the road. Stephen joined the group, grinning.
“She is doing well,” he commented, happily.
“That one,” said Zelek, “should have been in the cavalry. She has been horse crazy since she could walk.”
Soon Anna Motlie brought the running horse to a perfect stop next to the group and slipped off its back. She put her arms around its neck and kissed it. “She is beautiful, beautiful, Uncle Stephen,” she said.
He nodded his head, and the two of them led the animal back to the barn again, arm in arm, their heads together in deep conversation.
“Oh,” said Zelek. “About Paul. I have been told by a member of the Soviet Medical Committee that they plan to send an invitation to Paul to speak before a convention next October, when he is here. He has made quite a name for himself in heart treatment. They would like to solicit your help to have him attend.”
Hanna chuckled. “Me? Paul is forty-one years old. He makes his own decisions.”
“They understand that. But they figure you can put in a good word. After all, the Soviet Union is more isolated than ever. We can use all the help we can get to open doors.”
Hanna nodded in understanding. “It would be nice, though, if he could make his presentation in Russian.”
“He doesn’t speak any Russian?” asked Sophia.
“A few words, expressions.”
“We have interpreters,” said Zelek.
Hanna sat back in her chair, a thought suddenly coming to mind. “He could memorize his speech in Russian,” she said. She looked over at Anna Motlie coming back with Stephen, still talking with animation. “She speaks excellent English. How old is she?” she asked quietly.
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