Jamie seriously considered launching herself back into his lap and forgetting about everything but another round of reverse cowgirl but her pride wouldn’t allow it. Instead she gave him a brief, pitying look and gently disentangled her hand from his fingers. “No, it isn’t. Seriously. Kevin. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I don’t feel the same way. I don’t have time for a relationship and I really don’t have time for this conversation right now.”
Kevin started to argue but she was already gone. The door slammed shut with finality and he was alone in the backseat of his old car: half naked and confused as hell. What had just happened here? Had he just been used and discarded? Apparently so. And by the woman he was falling in love with. Payback was such a complete and utter bitch. God, he needed a drink.
Chapter Twelve
After fleeing the scene in the parking lot like a scared but satisfied rabbit Jamie trudged up the hill towards her childhood home and tried not to think about what had just happened. She was unsuccessful. Every step she took was an agonizing physical reminder as long unused muscles protested both the uphill hike and the recent more intimate workout she’d taken on thanks to Mr. Kevin Hall and his impressive equipment.
Her Real Estate Agent was waiting patiently in the driveway of the house. Pamela was middle-aged, aggressive and unflappable. Jamie was eternally grateful for this last trait as Pam didn’t even comment on her wet and bedraggled state.
The two women shook hands pleasantly and Jamie dug deep into the pocket of her coat for the keys. At first she panicked because all she could find were Kevin’s dark sunglasses in her pocket. She pulled them out and looked at them for a moment, thinking back to the moment when she’d yanked them off his face. She’d wanted so desperately to ask about his badly bruised nose, but hadn’t wanted to seem concerned. How stupid. He must think she was heartless.
“Miss Martin?” Pam asked, sounded worried. “Is everything alright? Did you leave the keys in your car maybe?”
“Oh. Sorry.” Jamie shook her head and buried the sunglasses deep within her pocket to keep them safe. “Here they are,” she said a tad too brightly as she dangled the keys from her fingers.
Jamie managed to avoid thinking about Kevin for the next hour. The pain of what she was doing provided an excellent distraction from what had just happened, though she felt a little awkward meeting with anyone with her torn underwear dangling between her legs.
Somehow she was able to show the property to Pamela without becoming too distraught. She came here on a fairly regular basis but usually avoided the areas of the house that held the most emotional impact. As a result there were parts of the house she hadn’t seen since those awful days after the funeral. She’d spent the most part of that week crying non-stop as she threw things out and gathered the objects which held the memories of her parents she could share with her sister.
Clay had borrowed the keys several months ago and re-painted everything as a gift. He knew the two Martin girls were incapable of moving forward so he’d taken matters into his own hands and made the changes necessary for some closure. As a result the top floor loft of the four-storey house looked oddly unfamiliar to Jamie as she climbed the steps to her mother’s favorite room.
The two women finished the tour standing in the huge front window overlooking the bay. As Pamela oohed over the view Jamie felt her control starting to slip away. This was the place where June Martin had spent so many hours standing vigil, waiting for her wayward daughter to come home. This was where her mother had sat on that window seat and been disappointed. By her. Over and over again.
Standing in this spot Jamie expected to feel some kind of tangible reminder of her past. A hint of her mother’s presence. Maybe a whisper of censure. But there was nothing. She was gone. This place was void of everything but stale memories. Jamie had hoped coming here would provide her with a sense of peace but instead anger washed over her. She would never get the chance to win her mother’s approval now. No act of contrition could ever make up for all she’d done to defy her parents and cause them pain.
On some level she knew that the reason she was so invested in Hidden Treasures had more to do with proving her worth to her parents rather than her own ambition. The fact that they were dead didn’t prevent her from needing to show them that her creative personality didn’t necessarily equate failure. She couldn’t fail. Not now. Doing so would be like admitting that her parents were right about her.
Hot tears slid down her cheeks and she found herself bawling her fists to contain her emotions. Not wanting to alarm Pamela, she turned away from the window to hide her face. Without being aware of it she put one hand in her coat pocket and found the reassuring cool plastic of Kevin’s sunglasses sliding against her fingertips.
It was ridiculous but that small reminder of him somehow made her feel better. He didn`t disapprove of her. In fact, he seemed to like the wild and free Jamie just fine. He didn’t want her to be more like her sister. In his eyes she was worthwhile. And that small knowledge gave her the strength to paste on a professional smile and discuss contract terms with Pamela.
After the tour was complete and the house was officially for sale Jamie found herself sitting alone in the front seat of Clay’s green VW bug. She’d borrowed the vehicle to make the trip out to White Rock. Now she couldn’t help taking several long minutes to stare down from her home’s driveway at the parking lot where she’d been so thoroughly pleasured. Kevin’s car was gone but that didn’t stop her from slowly reliving every moment with him. Not just the mind-shattering pleasure of climaxing in his arms, but the other parts too.
She thought about the joyful expression on his face when he’d found her on the Pier and the tender way his hands had traced her back. She shivered as she recalled the feathery sensation of his warm lips against her neck and his warm laughter. Everything played back in slow motion and she groaned in frustration at her stupidity.
She liked him. A lot. There was no denying it. But now what? Underneath the studly reputation and drool-worthy body there was obviously a decent guy with real feelings and she had just reduced him to a convenient piece of man-meat. As much as she’d been convinced he was impervious to her insults she was fairly certain she had hurt him this time. And she hated herself for it.
She longed to search him out and apologize for her behavior. Leaving him so abruptly had been an act of cowardice and cruelty. But when the ecstasy had stopped, reality had set in and she’d panicked. Especially when she found herself thinking about forgoing her meeting entirely and spending the afternoon with Kevin instead. That wayward thought was a big red flag that her priorities were messed up. She needed to take care of business, not Kevin’s ego. Or her neglected libido for that matter.
Maybe she could compromise and soothe Kevin’s ego as well as her newly awakened sex drive. She still didn’t have time for a relationship but perhaps they could spend some time together. Nothing emotional. Just fun and sex. Lots and lots of sex. He might be amendable to that. Hell, if she knew Kevin he should be thrilled with a no strings arrangement. Or would he?
He’d said he wanted more but what about now? Had she blown the possibility of something real with him completely? That had been the plan when she’d allowed him to seduce her but now she wasn’t quite so certain what she wanted. The thought of never seeing him again made her heart lurch in her chest. That was a very bad sign. But he was still the same guy who drank too much and chased women constantly. Anything more than casual wasn’t possible with a guy like him, was it?
At that moment she didn’t really care. She needed to see him. Desperately. She was so weary of overthinking everything. It was so exhausting. She just wanted to feel and forget about the consequences for a while. This new practical version of herself she’d invented was so wrapped up in doing whatever it took to ensure a bright financial future that she never lived in the moment. Is that really who Jamie wanted to be? A more successful but infinitely unhappy version of herself?
&
nbsp; Suddenly, Hidden Treasures seemed more like a burden than anything else. She despised what it was doing to her. Her determination to save her store was turning her into a ruthless, uncaring bitch. She missed being the girl who did what she felt like and lived in the moment. That girl was all about flaunting the rules and putting her brain on hold for a while.
Looking down at the contract sitting on the seat beside her Jamie sighed and drummed her fingers against the sheepskin-padded steering wheel. As much as she would like to abandon everything it was too late for that. She needed to continue on this path. If she stopped now then the last two years would mean nothing. Whether she liked it or not, her life was all about following rules. One particular set of rules in particular: her own. The damn Love Laws.
Right now she needed to keep one of her guidelines firmly in mind. She was a firm believer in Love Law #2 and pursuing men was always a mistake. But she still wanted to seek out Kevin and offer him some kind of sexy arrangement. How could she maintain the integrity of her rules if she suddenly became the aggressor? The answer was simple: she couldn’t. She would have to wait for Kevin to come looking for her. Frustration gnawed at her but she could hardly expect other women to follow her rules if she couldn’t manage it herself. She would just have to hope Kevin was still interested despite her behavior after their interlude in the parking lot.
He had followed her to the bathroom of Steamworks and even out to White Rock. Maybe he would save her the trouble of violating her rules and come find her? Yes, that would be the ideal solution. If he made the next move then she would definitely lower her guard and suggest something casual between them. All she had to do was wait for him to give into his natural predatory impulses. He was the classic alpha male hunter-type. He couldn’t resist the chase. At least that was her theory.
Unfortunately for Jamie, Kevin’s natural instincts seemed to be off-line. He didn’t call or show up at Hidden Treasures the next day as she’d hoped. She thought about casually dropping by his hotel to drop off his sunglasses that evening but somehow resisted the impulse. She would definitely be in defiance of Love Law #2 if she stalked him with such a lame ruse. Also, her pride just wouldn’t allow it. She could just imagine the smug grin on his face if she showed up unannounced. Not cool.
After two frustrating days without a sign of the sexy writer anywhere Jamie met up with her sister, Jessica, at her bookstore hoping to get glean some information without compromising her pride.
Feeling a little like an awkward teenager she casually broached the subject of Kevin, hoping for some reasonable explanation for his disappearance, like a business trip or a family emergency, but Jess just looked puzzled when Jamie had asked about Duncan’s best friend.
“Why the sudden interest?” Jessica had asked suspiciously as she’d rubbed her burgeoning belly. “I thought you were firmly uninterested in The Kevster. Please tell me nothing happened. I mean, I love the guy but he’s really not in a good place right now.”
At this point Jamie considered telling Jess about her movie date and subsequent backseat adventure with Kevin, but decided denial was the best course of action. No need to worry her pregnant sister over what was looking more and more like an isolated encounter. Or two. The longer she had to think about it the more inclined she was to reconsider pursuing anything more with the handsome writer, but she was still curious why she hadn’t heard from him.
“No kidding. He was pretty drunk at Steamworks that night you abandoned me. What’s going on with him exactly?” Jamie asked, feigning disinterest. She pretended to peruse the new arrivals in the bookcase. Her sister reclined nearby on one of the comfy chairs grouped around the store.
Jessica rolled her eyes. “I already apologized for that. But he was okay when you talked to him after we left right? He wasn’t a jerk, was he?” Jessica gave Jamie a worried look from beneath narrowed brows. “I wouldn’t have left so suddenly but the bambino was giving me a major case of acid reflux.”
Jamie shook her head and bent down to read a book title, allowing her hair to fall forward to cover her flushed face. “No, no. He was a perfect gentleman. He walked me home. A little unsteadily, mind you. But didn’t try to maul me or anything. Just made sure I got in without being accosted. He was sort of sweet.” Oops. Why did she reveal that little tid-bit? Jessica would definitely catch onto her affectionate tone.
Fortunately for her, Clay chose that moment to interfere. He’d been half-heartedly dusting some shelves while shamelessly eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help commenting when he overheard Jamie’s tender admission regarding the handsome writer.
“Oh really?” He asked, popping around the corner. “And how about when I sent him out to The Rock to find you? Was he sweet then? ‘Cause he seemed like a bear with a hard-on when he came to the store looking for you.”
Damn it. Now she had to admit she’d met up with Kevin in White Rock or lie to both her sister and her best friend in one conversation. She was digging herself deeper and deeper into deception but didn’t see how much choice she had. If she admitted something had happened with Kevin then Clay would torture her for dirty details and Jessica would blow a gasket.
So she forced her expression into something resembling shock and turned to Clay with her hands on her hips. “What? You sent him out to find me? When?”
Clay gave her a surprised look. “You mean he didn’t find you the day you met with the real estate agent? I gave him the address and told him to look for you out on the Pier if he didn’t find you at your abode?”
Jamie shrugged her shoulders and stared at him blankly. “Nope. No sign of him. Probably got side-tracked by a waitress or possibly a tankard of beer. Maybe both. Why would you send him out there after me anyway? You know I’m not interested in getting involved right now. Especially with a hound dog like him.”
Clay rolled his eyes. “Why do you think? You need to get laid in a major way and that guy is the perfect tool to get the job done. Anyone with a pulse can see that he could help you work out some of your pent up frustration.” He pointed his useless feather duster at her. “Honestly, if you don’t let loose soon I’m going to hire you a professional. I’ve looked up gigolos on-line for you. So it’s either Dick for Hire or that fine piece of man-meat. Your choice.”
Jamie sighed in exasperation. “I choose none of the above. I’m too busy for amateur or professional dicks of any kind,” she said, crossing her arms. “Why are you looking up gigolos for me anyway? Shouldn’t you be concentrating on your own messed up love life rather than trying to get me arrested for prostitution?” It was a lame attempt to distract him but Clay loved talking about himself more than almost anything. If she could get him onto the subject of Willem the Worm, maybe she could avoid incriminating herself.
“Wait a second,” Jessica interrupted, standing up with some difficulty and approaching Jamie. “Why would Kevin be looking for you anyway? Are you sure nothing happened? Kevin isn’t exactly known for chasing girls. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him crossing the street for one, let alone leaving town. Is there something going on?”
Oh jeez. This was getting very complicated.
Jamie shrugged and gave her sister an exasperated look. “How am I supposed to know what’s going on with Duncan’s friend? I was the one asking you about him, remember?”
Jessica narrowed her eyes. “Yes, you were. Which is strange in itself. You’ve never shown an interest in Kevin before. In fact, I think you called him ‘Best Slut’ at my wedding.”
Jamie flushed and had the grace to look embarrassed. “Not to his face,” she grumbled.
“Maybe not. But you weren’t exactly friendly. What’s changed now?”
Clay eagerly stepped up to Jessica and wiggled his feather duster in Jamie’s direction. “I’ll tell you what’s changed. She may not be willing to try out his equipment, but our Miss J is more than willing to use the rest of him.”
“What?” Jessica asked, clearly confused.
Clay leaned down and stage
whispered directly into Jessica’s ear while looking at Jamie defiantly. “I mean, she somehow talked him into coming into her store and making smoking-hot puppy eyes at my sister. As cute as Cat is I’m pretty sure he didn’t do that of his own volition. Your sister is obviously exploiting him somehow. Using him shamelessly to further her own wicked agenda. I would be appalled if it wasn’t so fabulous.” He clapped his hands and stuck his tongue out at Jamie, thrilled to be imparting some gossip to Jessica for a change.
“What?” Jessica pushed past Clay and stood directly in front of Jamie. “Jamie. What did you do?”
Jamie shrugged defensively. “It was nothing. I just asked him to pay some attention to Cathy. Build up her confidence. And it totally worked. She was thrilled.” She turned to Clay. “Wasn’t she?”
Clay rolled his eyes. “James, watching Cathy being chatted up by that pussy-shark was like witnessing a nun accidentally walk onto a porno set. She was totally out of her element. Baby steps next time, okay?”
Jamie glared at him. “It wasn’t that bad. I thought she handled herself very smoothly. You’re overprotective.” She poked him in the chest for emphasis. “Which is ironic considering how familiar you are with porno sets yourself.” This was a low-blow considering Clay had actually dated a gay porn star briefly and had visited Large Lars on set exactly twice but had not actually participated in the adult film industry.
“Oh. We’re taking this to an ugly place, are we? Miss Former Pole Grinder?” He arched an eyebrow at Jamie.
Before she could respond Jessica held up her hands and placed herself bodily between her sister and Clay. “Okay. Enough of that, you two.” She pushed at Clay’s shoulder and pointed towards the front door. “I would love a cup of herbal tea. Why don’t you go down the road and grab us some goodies, okay?”
The Love Laws Page 18
