by Jon Jacks
Yet weren’t the Nyxt supposed to fear war because our destruction would be like our world without its trees, animals, and sky?
Why would they fear such a thing when they have all this beauty here?
The butterfly flows through it all like it’s slowly fluttering along on a drowsy summer day, yet we’re moving at an incredible speed. It suddenly speeds up, moving too fast for me to keep up.
It gets smaller and smaller, becoming nothing more than a sparkling burst of light.
But soon I can see what it seems to be heading for; a larger, much more pronounced glow.
A figure standing by a shimmering pool. A figure more sun dappled than the glittering water.
A figure I would have sworn was an angel if I hadn’t seen that it was Chris.
*
Chapter 26
As Chris languidly stretches out a hand, the butterfly lands on it like a tamed yet exotic bird.
‘Twice!’ he cries elatedly. ‘You did it! I knew you could!’
I land right by him, somehow without even thinking about it turning slightly in mid-air and landing on my feet, like Superman would.
We hug each other excitedly, being careful not to disturb the butterfly gently flapping its wings on Chris’s outstretched arm. Even so, intense emotions of loss, longing and love surge through me, like they’ve all been waiting for this specific moment to reveal themselves.
‘Wow!’ I say, stepping back, giggling with elation.
Chris smiles beatifically. He looks admiringly at the butterfly patiently and tamely sitting on his hand.
‘I see our little beauty safely led you here,’ he says, almost blowing it a kiss in his excitement.
The butterfly rises into the air, fluttering around our heads.
‘Chris, we have to get back qui–’
‘Oh, there’s no rush, Twice.’
‘No rush? Chris, you don’t understand! I know it’s wonderful here but–’
‘Wonderful?’
He turns, holding his arms out wide.
‘It’s beautiful, Twice!’
‘But you’ll die Chri–’
‘No Twice,’ he says, turning back with a huge grin on his face. ‘You mean my body would die; but I would still be here!’
‘Yes yes – I know what you mean Chris! But I want you back! I’m not staying here; and I want you to come back with me!
‘But Twice, isn’t it amazing here? Don’t you see how it all works? The Wyrd flows through everything, connecting everything. The Life-Force flowing through you is the same as that flowing through the trees, the mountains, the planets. Of course, just as a fisherman can’t control the wind or the tide, we can’t ever hope to control such a powerful force as the Wyrd; but we can turn it to our advantage, just like that same fisherman trim his sails to be in harmony with nature.’
‘But Chris, we’re not supposed to be here just yet!’
‘Aren’t we?’
He says it like I’ve suggested something really stupid.
‘Then how do you explain,’ he continues, ‘how I’ve managed to visit here before?’
‘Here? You’ve been here before?’
‘You’d be surprised how many times I’ve been here. And each time, I learn something new!’
‘Then why didn’t you tell me Chris? How could you keep something like this secret from me? I thought you were in danger; I risked my life to rescue you!’
‘I wanted to tell you! I wanted you to know what amazing things we were capable of, Twice! But would you have believed me? Wouldn’t you have dismissed it out of hand, thinking it all sounded crazy? No, no, Twice; I knew I would have to wait. You would accept the truth only if you discovered it piece by piece, as you have done.’
‘Yes, I do believe it all now. It’s lucky I got that job at the agency–’
‘Lucky?’ He chuckles. ‘Everything is connected, remember? I’d found out about the agency while travelling around here. I knew they’d realise there was something special about you, and accept you.’
Now I’m the one that chuckles.
‘Chris, are you forgetting that it was poor Mary’s murder that led me there?’
‘And Franky’s disappearance that allowed you to swiftly move on to the more important night shift. And the threat of war that meant you were trusted to take on her role with little training.’
He takes my hands in his, looking deeply into my eyes like he’s about to make some profound declaration of love.
‘But yes, there are some things that seem to happen by chance; in which case, you have to see them as the opportunity they are. It wasn’t until that poor girl had been run over, reminding me how awful it is to be so forcibly parted from your body, that I realised I could just simply breathe life back into the dead.’
He grins happily.
‘Of course, I also kept on using the charms anyway; just to ensure no one would connect – see, there it is again – my raising of the dead with the golems.’
I jerk my hands away from his.
‘Chris! You’re saying you are responsible for the golems?’
He nods, but without any sign of remorse.
‘Of course; to help you realise your powers, Twice! And here you are! It worked!’
‘Only because I thought the Nyxt had taken – they were your golems too, weren’t they?’
He nods again, grins again.
‘That’s it Chris,’ I say, turning my back on him, ‘I’m leaving!’
‘Okay – so race you!’
‘Race me?’
‘Sure; I’ll even leave you the butterfly, to give you a chance.’
‘Chris, I–’
‘Ready, steady – go!’
He springs into the air.
Then hurtles off along one of the now barely visible strands.
*
The butterfly, although apparently lazily flapping its wings, lies just ahead of me as we rush across the landscape.
Chris, however, is easily increasing his lead.
It dawns on me that, somehow, perhaps because I’ve been relying too much on the butterfly’s guidance, he’s on a slightly different track to us.
Is that why Chris left me the butterfly? Because he wanted her to lead me slightly off track?
I curve my body slightly to take me onto a different energy strand. Without protest, or even seeming to falter in its course, the butterfly zips back into place just ahead of me, lighting up the threads for me.
Chris swoops lower, curving around a grassy hill.
Perhaps the butterfly had been right to keep to the straighter course; perhaps Chris has just taken me on a playful detour here.
I wheel around the hill in Chris’s wake.
I almost explode right into her.
It’s Franky; blocking my way.
*
Chapter 27
Chris must have known she was here.
If he’s been here before, like he says; he might have been able to sense her presence in the same way I sensed his.
If that’s the case, it means you don’t actually have to love someone to be able to trace them, provided you’ve developed your skills enough.
‘I knew I’d find you here someday,’ she says triumphantly, warily edging closer.
Every time I make a move to pass her, she swiftly moves to block me. We’re hovering in the air, like two angry bees.
‘Please, Franky; I’ve never meant you any harm. I need to get back quickly, or I might die.’
‘Die?’ She laughs. ‘A Half-Life die?’
‘Franky, please; I’m not a Half-Life! That’s why I need to get back!’
She’s circling me cautiously now, having stopped advancing closer. There’
s an edginess in her eyes, like she fears me.
‘You think I don’t know that a Half-Life’s soul is free to wander here, while her body is kept alive by an unbelievably powerful shadow soul?’
If she seriously thinks I’m a Half-Life, now she’s seen me here in the underworld she’ll also assume I’ve realised my powers. She may well fear what those powers might be.
Should I use that to my advantage?
No; she’s determined to try and stop me, even if it ends in her – well what would it end up in for someone who’s already dead?
I’m thinking quicker and more logically than I ever have. But I can’t work that one out just yet.
Franky suddenly stops in her wary circling. She looks me up and down curiously.
‘Wait – it’s not your soul, is it?’
‘Not my soul? Of course it’s my soul! What else would it be?’
Although keeping her distance, she observes me intently.
She locks her eyes on mine, glaring at me suspiciously.
‘Your shadow soul; it’s your shadow soul. How can that be? Your shadow soul shouldn’t be here unless–’
A small, brightly glowing fox abruptly rushes into the space between us. Jake immediately appears behind it, swooping in on the glistening strands.
‘Franky,’ he blurts out urgently. ‘I know what you must be thinking, seeing Twice’s soul here. But I sent her; sent her the old shaman way.’
‘Hah, you’ve no idea what I’m thinking anymore Jake!’
‘How did you know I was in danger?’ I ask him.
‘I didn’t; I followed on, just in case.’
‘You’re crazy Jake,’ Franky says. ‘Coming this deep your first time with nothing to guide you; you’d have surely got lost.’
‘I felt the vibrations, found myself drawn here.’
Franky; his connection with Franky drew him here.
He turns to me.
‘I hoped the connection would be strong enough to lead me to you safely.’
‘So now you’re helping her realise who she is, Jake? Actually sending her here? And you killed me because you thought I’d do that by killing her?’
‘She’s not Half-Life, Franky! I sent her because she was the only one who could rescue her boyfriend.’
‘Jake, it was her boyfriend who told my gran she was Half-Life!’
‘Chris has been here before?’ Jake stares back at me distrustfully.
‘Yes, he’s been doing it for a while; I never knew Jake, honest. He is controlling the golems!’
‘I knew it!’
‘But why would Chris say that to Franky’s gran? Why would he want to get me killed?’
‘Because Jake was right when he warned me of course,’ Franky says. ‘If Chris thinks you’re Half-Life, he knows the quickest way for you to realise what you are is to have you killed.’
‘So why not just get his golems to do it? Why didn’t he get his golems to kill you, come to that?’
‘Golems wouldn’t have been able to take me as easily as they did Mary.’
‘Look, we’re going to have to talk about this later–’
‘No, Jake; she can’t go back.’
Franky faces up to Jake, drawing up much closer than she had ever dared with me.
With a strident pointing of her arm, she draws his attention back to me.
‘You think there’s nothing odd about her, Jake? That’s not her soul. That’s her shadow soul!’
Jake looks me up and down, his face slowly creasing in puzzlement.
Come on Jake! Tell her she’s crazy! This is my soul! How can it possibly be my shadow soul, when it’s back in the world of the living keeping my body alive?
‘It doesn’t make any sense,’ Jakes says, then, turning back to Franky, ‘Unless it’s like when the shamans–’
‘The shamans? Not them again!’ I say in a mix of anger and anxiety.
‘This is important though, Twice.’ Jake looks back at me calmly, like he hopes it will help me stop being so uneasy. ‘Sometimes, a shaman’s soul would get lost in the world of the dead; in which case, he’d have no choice but to send his shadow soul after it.’
‘But I’m no shaman, Jake! And if this is my shadow soul, what’s happened to my soul? And what’s keeping my body alive?’
‘All I’m saying, Twice, is that if the shamans could do it, it’s probably working the same way for you too. The body would draw on even more of its energy and Life-Force to stay alive; the risk being that it would burn out even quicker than before.’
‘Quicker? How quick?’
He strides over to me, takes my hand, his eyes full of concern.
When he touches my hand, it’s like he passing over a whole array of his emotions; worry, fear, love.
Oh no! Is he feeling my emotions too?
‘We don’t know,’ he says, ‘but you need to get back right–’
‘I’ve already said no Jake!’
Franky has swooped up close to us, even closer than she’d dared approach me before.
‘She’ll die Franky unless–’
‘And that’s a bad thing, Jake? A Half-Life dying?’
‘If she’s a Half-Life, holding her here wouldn’t kill–’
‘Wouldn’t kill her? In a situation like this, where it’s her shadow soul that’s here? You don’t know that Jake. It might be the only way of killing her!’
‘Franky, she goes back!’
Jake propels himself hard at Franky.
They strike like powerful, bared electric cables coming together, emitting a universe of sparks and starbursts.
Franky spins back through the air, Jake following through on top of her.
‘Go Twice!’ he screams back at me. ‘Go now! I can handle her!’
*
It didn’t seem right, leaving Jake like that.
But he didn’t want me to stay.
All I would have done is distract him, worry him.
This time, I let the butterfly lead the way. Once I’m at the borders, I zip down the pulsing threads, seeking the connections my body is weakly emanating.
There’s a sensation like bursting up through water, only it’s happening all around me; and suddenly, I find myself looking down on the hall.
I look like I’m asleep, cocooned in the multi-layered bed of folded curtains. Jake’s lying alongside me, like we’re a married couple having an early morning lie in.
The fires blaze all around us, the towering, flickering flames throwing a weird orange glow throughout the wall.
There’s no sign of Nick and Kristine; I can’t sense them being anywhere close either. They must have left, seeing no further point in staying.
Mary is tending the fires on her own, keeping them going by carefully dropping extra fuel into the bins, shielding her face from the incredible heat every time she moves close.
I’m sitting here watching all this because I don’t know how to move back into my body.
I’d thought it would all just happen naturally, the same way my soul – or, rather, my shadow soul, if Jake and Franky were right – had just seemed to get up and walk away from it.
‘Twice!’ Mary cries out excitedly. ‘You’re back!’
What? Can she see me?
No; she’s walking towards the stage’s centre, where my body lies.
No!
It’s not just lying there!
It’s stirring.
It’s opening its eyes!
It’s wearily attempting to get out from underneath the layers of curtains.
Mary rushes forward and begins to help.
‘Welcome back Twice!’ Mary says breezily. ‘You did it!’
‘Yes, yes, I did it Mary!’ I hear my own body say.
*
Chapter 28
But that’s impossibl
e!
How can my own body be moving around when I’m here, just helplessly watching it all happening?
‘Where’s Jake,’ Mary asks. ‘He came looking for you.’
My body looks back at the sleeping Jake.
‘Did he?’ she says. ‘I never saw him,’ she lies.
It’s my voice.
But it’s not me.
Has one of the Nyxt managed to take my body over while I’ve been away?
There’s a glow surrounding my body, an aura. There’s one shimmering and fluctuating around Mary too.
Now that I look closely, however, I can see a glistening sheen lying over everything.
It’s the web of the Wyrd, visible to me now in a way I would never have imagined before I’d been caught up in all this.
Just as in the world of the Nyxt, it underlies and connects everything.
One of Chris’s origami butterflies is still weakly fluttering around high above the stage, wafting along on the heat currents, drawing on the excited energies of the Life-Force to stay alive far longer than Chris had originally intended.
Like anything containing the breath of life, it emanates a light that sparkles far stronger than the glow coming from any other object in the hall,
The butterfly reminds me of the spirit guide I’ve left behind, the way it shines like a beckoning star.
I reach out to one of the threads of energy connecting us.
The light intensifies, crackles.
I pass along the thread – and suddenly, I’m the butterfly.
*
I fly down towards Mary, wondering how I can tell her what has happened.
‘Oh look Twice!’ she says brightly, pointing up towards me. ‘One of the small butterflies is still alive! Isn’t that–’
‘Kill it!’ my body screams. ‘It’s a spirit that was following me!’
She leaps up towards me with that incredible, superhuman skill I’ve seen Jake and Franky use.
I wheel off to one side just in time, my own hand almost scraping my wing as it grabs nothing but empty air.
My body spins in mid-air, whirls around, pushes off the wall and sends herself flying towards me once more.
Once again, I only just manage to stay out of her grasp.
In an instant, she’s throwing herself back at me. I avoid her only because I’m small, light, wafting away from her as I’m caught up on and pushed away by the gusts her own rapid movements are causing.
She hurtles towards me time and time again.
I spin, I drop, I whirl.
I’m too slow; I’m going to get caught soon if I can’t find some way of keeping out of her reach.
Reach?
I reached out to the butterfly along the energy threads, yeah?
The threads!
Energy, lying everywhere!
I swiftly wheel towards the nearest glowing strand, letting myself become a part of the web once more.
