“Well, shit,” comes a voice from the other end of the bathroom. I turn to find Brylee standing at the end of the corridor, clearly having witnessed everything that just went on. “That was fucking brutal.”
“Yeah,” I grunt, unable to get any other words out as my eyes begin to fill with tears.
Brylee’s eyes widen in horror as she races toward me. “Fuck. Don’t cry, Court. Did you really like him that much?”
“I…” she throws her arms around me and I bury my face into her shoulder. “Yeah, I think I did.”
Chapter 9
Puck
I have never felt this fucking sick inside. What have I done?
I told her that we were never going to happen and it felt like the right thing at the time. I had to let her go. I had to make her see that it wasn’t right. I had to cut her loose before I allowed her to get too close. And then she dismissed me and everything shattered.
I fucked up.
What was I thinking racing in there after her? I should have stayed away and thought it through, but knowing that she was so close and would willingly give herself up to me like that was something I was incapable of holding myself back from.
It was perfect. Every tiny little movement, every little moan, every breath. It was so much more than I thought it was going to be. Courtney has destroyed me for other women and I haven’t even gotten her in bed. All I know is that a kiss like that would be enough to make grown men weep.
Fuck, I sound like a little pussy.
Why did I have to hurt her like that? I told her no and as the words came out, I could see her breaking. I was right to do it though. I’m not her prince charming. I’ve never been one to chase a woman and promise her the world. I get in and I get out. It’s that simple. Had I let it continue, I would have just hurt her more.
I hope she’s okay. She looked crushed.
When she said that it’s not possible to stop something that hadn’t begun, something clicked inside of me and I felt that she was wrong. While nothing official has happened between us, I feel like we’ve already developed some kind of relationship. She was wrong, something had begun between us and it left me feeling as though we’d just broken up.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve learned more about Courtney than I have in the past twelve years. I know how she likes to smile when things aren’t going her way, I know the little crease that appears between her brows when she’s concentrating really hard, and I know the way she presses her lips together as she considers asking me a question that’s bound to shock the absolute shit out of me.
I love the way she laughs at the ridiculous things we discuss during homeroom and I love the feel she leaves on my skin when her arm brushes past mine.
No, she was wrong. Something had begun here and surly, she must know that. Maybe she said it to make herself feel better or maybe she was trying to hurt me like I’d done to her, whatever it is, I hated the sound of the words coming from between her lips.
I sit in homeroom on Tuesday morning. I’d gotten here as early as I could, wanting to take advantage of the precious minutes I have beside her. I don’t know what to tell her. I can’t take back what I said and I shouldn’t, but I need to know that she’s doing alright.
I hurt her. I hurt the first girl who ever wormed her way into my life. I hurt the only girl I’ve ever felt something for.
I must be a monster.
Who does that shit? I should have been selfish. I should have grabbed her with both hands and given it a real shot. I could have tried to make her happy and I could have tried to give her the world, but I chickened out. I should have just swallowed my pride and been the man who does everything in his power to give his woman everything she’d ever needed.
Fuck. His woman? Where the hell did that shit come from? I cannot be thinking of Courtney as my woman, especially so soon after turning her down. All that’s going to do is confuse the shit out of both of us.
But being her man…that would entitle me to all sorts of shit. I would be able to swoop in and save her whenever the hell I wanted, I could kiss her just like I did yesterday completely guilt-free, but what’s more is that I could be with her any time of the day and it would be okay.
I’m digging myself a dangerous hole. I shouldn’t be thinking about this shit. Courtney is not my woman just as I’m not her man.
The minutes tick by without her sitting beside me and as second warning bell rings, Courtney finally walks through the door. Miss Blakeley gives her a scowl, but as she was technically in the room when the bell rang and probably because she’s generally a good student, Miss Blakeley leaves her alone.
Courtney starts making her way toward the back of the classroom, not once lifting her eyes to me. Every day over the past few weeks, apart from that first day in homeroom, she’s walked in and given me a beaming smile, but today…nothing and it doesn’t sit well with me.
Have I taken her smile away?
Up until today I always knew that no matter what, when I walked into homeroom, she'd be there. Seeing her eyes on me and her smile spreading wide across her face was the one guarantee I had in my life. I feel like absolute shit that they’re both absent. I did this and I need to fix it…but how?
She takes her seat beside me and instead of dropping down carelessly and taking up as much room as she possibly can, she sits down at the very edge, almost as though she can’t get far enough away.
Kissing her was better than I possibly thought it could be, but if this is the outcome, then it wasn’t worth it. I hate not having her eyes on me, I hate that she isn’t throwing ridiculous questions at me, and I hate that she looks so broken.
I sit and watch her for a moment as she keeps her eyes trained forward. The silence is killing me. “Hey,” I murmur, sliding my hand along the backrest of her chair. My thumb brushes over her shoulder and she flinches away from my touch, making something twist inside my gut and has me feeling like the biggest ass. “Are we cool?”
Courtney shrugs, trying to brush it off as though she doesn’t care, but the torture is written all over her face. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be?” she says. “Everything is…cool.”
I’ve never heard such a big fucking lie.
“You’ve hardly said a word,” I point out, trying to lighten the mood or at least get some sort of smile out of her. “Usually, I struggle to get you to shut up.”
“Noted, so what’s your problem then?” Courtney’s eyes briefly flash toward mine and devastation lies within their depths. “You struggle to get me to shut up and now I have. You got exactly what you wanted.”
I watch her for a silent moment. She’s talking about so much more right now and I guess that she’s right. I wanted to taste her lips on mine and I took it, I did get what I wanted and now I’m left wanting so much more.
My thumb brushes over her shoulder once again. “Come on, babe. Can we at least talk about this?”
Courtney swivels in her seat, turning to face me to give me the full effect of her anger. “Sure, we can talk. I’ll start.”
Shit.
“Yesterday, you said you could tell how I felt, see it in my eyes and all that bullshit. You said you could tell that I wasn’t the kind of girl up for a quick fuck, and if that’s true, then why the hell did you kiss me knowing nothing would ever come from it?” She seethes with an attitude that I didn’t realize she was capable of, but then why not? She’s surprised me with everything else she’s done over the past few weeks. “Are you just an impulsive, opportunistic dickhead, or do you just not give a shit about stomping all over a girl’s emotions like that?” Courtney shakes her head. “You know what? Don’t bother. I already know the answer.”
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. This is not good, but she’s right. I took advantage of an opportunity when I shouldn’t have. Who knew that something so incredible could turn out so disastrous?
I hate to ask, but the curiosity is getting the best of me. “And what’s that?”
She stands up, just as the bell dismis
sing us from homeroom rings loudly through Broken Hill High. “That you’re everything I’ve always assumed you were. You’re an asshole, Puck, and I’m done. I won’t let you weasel your way into my life anymore.”
With that, Courtney grabs her things and walks out the door, leaving me staring after her, realizing that no matter what, I have to make this right.
Chapter 10
Courtney
This sucks.
The past two weeks have been hell on Earth. Spending my days as though I don't care about him has been harder than anything has the right to be.
I miss him despite the fact that I sit next to him every single morning. Puck Jones is the worst kind of monster a teenage girl could have. He's the kind who takes your heart, makes you feel as though he's about to give you the world, and just when you think you're going to have it all, you end up crushed.
I should have known. In fact, I did know, yet I was stupid enough to fall into his well-placed trap. What a fool I’ve become. I should be stronger...or should have been able to tell him no. I should have been able to hold myself back from his wicked charm, but I couldn't. Those few weeks with him were perfect. They were more than I ever thought Puck could ever offer me until it wasn't.
For weeks I’ve sat next to him ignoring the way my body craves his touch, ignoring the way my heart races every time he walks through the door and ignoring the way his smile reminds me of everything that I've lost. It's too damn hard.
But then, did I really ever have him in the first place? Did I ever really have the right to call him mine? No, probably not. Puck has always been the unattainable bad boy, and I was a fool to think I could nail him down.
There's just one thing I don't understand. While the flirting, the smiles, the 'accidental' brushes of his fingers across my skin are all gone, there's still one thing that remains; Puck is incapable of leaving me alone. During homeroom, he pulls out my chair, in the cafeteria, his eyes are on me, and at parties like right now, he gets insanely jealous when another guy even looks my way, let alone when one approaches and shows a little interest.
I don't know what this is. Perhaps he likes me more than he's letting on or perhaps he's just afraid that this is something so much more than what he ever pictured for himself, but whatever it is, it's making it impossible for me to even attempt to move on. I mean, how could a girl move past the fact that the man who makes her heart race treats her like an angel worth protecting?
Is it possible to fall in love with someone in as little time as only a few weeks? No, that's insane. I couldn't have fallen in love with him during that time. At the start I hated him, he was the guy that I couldn't stand being near and now I'm craving his attention almost as much as I'm craving giving him mine.
I don't know what to do. I've never felt so insanely lost before. Me and Puck...it should be so simple, but he insists on making something beautiful a tragedy.
I grab Brylee from making a big mistake with some random guy and get our asses out of here. The past few hours of watching random girls attempt to drape themselves over Puck is too hard to continue watching. He's managed to dodge each one with a less than impressed scowl on his handsome face, but eventually one is going to come along who catches his eyes and when she does, I don't want to bear witness to it.
Brylee groans about not wanting to leave, but the second we step out into the fresh air and she hurls all through the garden bed, she has a change of heart.
I don’t know how I put up with her on the way back to her place, but once she steps out of my car, I speed away as though the sound of her too chirpy voice is going to follow me. Brylee is a chatter no matter what the occasion, but add a little alcohol to the mix and getting her to shut up is an impossible task. Don’t get me wrong, usually, I love her chatter, but it’s been a shit few weeks and all I want to do is get home to bed.
I drive down the road, forcing my eyes to stay open. It’s only a few minutes between here and home so before I know it, I’ll be finished with this day and be free to spend the rest of my weekend mopping around in my room.
The road blurs into an endless line of streetlights with the occasional car zooming past on the other side. I turn up the music and try to get lost in the beat. It works for all of two seconds before a loud ‘POP’ has me swerving off the side of the road and nose-diving my car up onto the curb.
My heart races.
Please don’t tell me I’ve run over something…or someone. I swear, I didn’t see anything. Though, maybe it was something small; a cat or a dog, or…shit. I can’t have just killed some little kid’s pet. What kind of a monster would that make me?
I look up and down the quiet street making sure there’s no one around as this is how all the scary movies start. One second, you think you’ve hit something, the next you’re screaming out, running up the quiet street with an ax-wielding clown chasing behind you. No thanks. That’s definitely not how I’m hoping my night finishes.
Confident that I’m not about to be taken out by some escaped prisoner, I push open my car door and have a good look around. What the hell could it have been? There’s nothing here. This street is as empty as Puck’s soul.
Though, if I hit something, there’s a good chance it could be stuck beneath my car. With a cringe, I lean in through the open car door and fish around for my phone before turning on my flashlight app and getting down on my hands and knees.
I shine the light under the car and have a good look around, but can’t see anything when I hear the faint sound of air escaping. My brows furrow. What could be making that noise?
It hits me. My tires.
My eyes bulge out of my head as I quickly shine the light on all four of my tires. I go from one to the next. Nope. Nope. Nope….fuck. I didn’t hit an animal, I blew a tire.
How the hell am I supposed to get home now?
I look over the tire with a sinking feeling in my gut. There’s no way I’ll be able to change this on my own. This is so out of my comfort zone. Even if I googled it, I doubt I’d be able to work it out. Hell, I’m probably not even strong enough to lift the spare out of the back let alone undo the bolt things that hold the tire to the car. I’m pretty sure they’re called nuts which makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean, why? That’s utterly ridiculous.
I’m screwed.
With a sigh, I pull myself up off the ground and walk around to the back of the car. I start searching around for the tool kit and spare tire that are hidden under the flooring of my trunk space and it takes me no time at all to realize that this job is definitely out of my scope of capabilities.
I start going over my options as I drop back down into the driver’s seat and close the door to keep out the cold. I could give dad a call and get his ass down here in the dead of night, he'd hate being woken up but would probably be happy to know I wasn't just sitting on the side of the road alone. Though, he’s been at a conference in the city for the past few days so I’ll have to wait an hour or so. My other options are to either walk my dumbass home and sort it out in the morning, or I could climb in my car, lock the doors and go to sleep with the intention to deal with it in the morning.
Shit. These options suck, but there’s one clear winner.
Dad.
I let out a breath and suck it up. I want nothing more than to get home and crawl into bed and unfortunately, the only way that’s going to happen is to call for back up. I look down at my phone and start scrolling through my recent contacts list and go to press his name when a sharp knocking sounds at my window.
I scream in terror as my heart leaps right out of my chest. Please, no. I don’t want to die. My head whips around to find a shadow of a man leaning towards my window. My eyes bug out of my head. My feet are too sore to have to spend the next few hours running away from this creep.
The man leans in closer and I finally get a clear look at his grinning face.
“HOLY FUCK!” I yell, grabbing hold of the door handle and pushing my way out of the car, making him hurry back to
avoid getting smacked in the face. My hands slam against his rock-solid chest. “You scared the shit out of me, Puck. What the hell do you think you’re doing creeping up at my window in the middle of the night?”
“Me?” he laughs, trying to grab hold of my hands to stop me from hitting him again. “You’re the idiot sitting on the side of the road. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?”
“It’s not as though I’m doing it for fun,” I snap as I will my heart to stop racing. “I got a flat tire. Trust me, I’d give anything to be home in bed right now.”
“No, shit,” Puck says, looking over my car a little closer. “Why didn’t you change it?”
The frustration of the situation comes slamming right to the front. “Don’t you think I would have if I could?”
Puck looks me over in consideration and while I hate the look on his face and how he seems kind of disappointed, I can’t help but feel a shitload safer with him here right now, despite how much I want to tear his head from his body.
Puck lets out a sigh before walking around the back of my car and opening the trunk. “No,” I say, shaking my head as I follow him behind the car. “You don’t need to do that. I was about to call my dad.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Puck tells me. “There’s no point in getting your dad when I’m already here. It’ll take me five minutes and then you can go home.”
I’m not going to lie, the idea of not having to call dad to come and fix my fuck-up does sound pretty damn good, but having Puck being the hero that comes to save my ass isn’t exactly sitting so well with me. I’d dare say he’s even getting hard over the thought.
“Fine,” I grumble after way too long. “But keep in mind that you’re offering and I’m not asking.”
Puck steps into me, pressing me against the cool metal of my car as an amused grin plays on his lips. “What’s that?” he murmurs low, making his chest rumble against mine. “You don’t need me to save you?”
Puck: Broken Hill Boys (Novella 1) Page 7
