by J. D. Chase
‘You didn’t know she was pregnant?’
‘Nope. She ended it with me months ago. Ironically, it was just after you’d found out about her. If she’d ended it days earlier . . .’
‘What? If she’d ended it days earlier, she wouldn’t have messaged you that day, I wouldn’t have found out and you’d have gotten away with fucking someone behind my back!’ Isla’s voice had risen to a shriek by the time she’d finished speaking. She continued in a more restrained tone. ‘Fucking hell, Jamie. You deserve everything that you feel right now. I thought I had everything with you, and you pulled it out from under my feet. You thought you were going to be a father but then you find that her husband’s the father. I came over here to try to help you, despite what you’d done to me. I came because I was worried and to try to stop you throwing your career away. But now, now I don’t give a flying fuck. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t she?’
Jamie had the grace to accept her vitriol and not attempt to defend himself.
‘So, when you told me he was married . . . did you know he was having a baby with her? Because, you know, that kind of information would have been appreciated.’
He shook his head. ‘No, I promise you, Isla, I hadn’t heard from her in ages. The last thing she said to me was that she was married and that she was going to be a faithful wife from then on. Now I know it was because she’d found out she was pregnant.’
‘So you didn’t know until last Tuesday, when she called you and told you that you were a father? Didn’t you think that was suspicious? You have an affair with a married woman and she ends it telling you she’s going to be faithful to her husband in future. Then she calls out of the blue months later and tells you that you’re her baby’s father? Didn’t it cross your mind that the bastard child could be his?’
‘Of course it did. I demanded to see it so she agreed to let me go around to the house after work that day. Before I saw him, I asked her how she knew it was mine. She told me that Xander couldn’t have children, so it had to be mine. She swore that she hadn’t fucked anyone else in that timeframe. That it had been months since she’d slept with the other bloke she’d been seeing. We sat for ages making plans although she wanted me to keep quiet about things until after the divorce, so I couldn’t move in or anything.’
‘I’ll bet she did,’ Isla said wryly before she gasped. ‘Hang on, she’d had another affair? Before you?’
Jamie nodded. ‘Oh yeah, I was definitely not the first. Fuck knows what number I was, but there had been at least two before me.’
‘So how did you find out that Xander wasn’t firing blanks after all?’
He sighed as pain crossed his features at the memory. ‘She turned up at the office the very next fucking day and insisted that we went for a drink and a chat. I told her I couldn’t. I was at work for fuck’s sake. She told me that if I didn’t go with her, she’d deny me access to my son.’
‘She sounds delightful,’ Isla muttered. ‘So you left with her?’
‘Yeah. She insisted that we went for a drink in a bar down the road. I only intended to pop out for a few minutes. She gave me this spiel about how Xander was making her life hell, insisting that he was the father and refusing her request for a quick divorce. She’d kicked him out of the family home but he kept turning up, demanding to be allowed to return and try again. He said it didn’t matter if the baby wasn’t his. He just wanted her.’
Isla couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
She’s fucking crazy. Lying her head off to Jamie.
‘But Xander had left her the minute the baby was born. Then he filed for divorce. He didn’t think the baby was his because he’d had fertility tests that showed he was infertile.’
‘No way, Isla. That’s complete bollocks. She told me that being married to him was hell. That’s why she had flings – she needed to be noticed and desired. She had no intimacy with him. She’d tried to leave him before but he said he’d leave her destitute and make sure that no man ever went near her again. When she found out she was having my baby, she was going to leave him for me but then she became ill. Her pregnancy wasn’t an easy one and she said she couldn’t risk losing the baby by standing up to Xander and coping with all the crap that he’d heap down on her. She had to stay until the baby was safe. She was too scared to even tell me about the baby in case I insisted that she left him there and then. And I would have. I wouldn’t have wanted her to risk the baby . . . I would have thought it was mine for fuck’s sake. If I’d known it was his . . .’
‘So how did you find out that the baby was his?’
‘She said that Xander was insisting on a DNA test, although she’d told him it wasn’t his baby. She asked me for a DNA sample, saying that Xander had already done his and that she’d done the baby’s. I said I didn’t need to do one then – the test would prove the baby wasn’t Xander’s. And if it wasn’t his, he had to be mine. I knew he was mine. Or I thought I did. I’d seen him the night before and as soon as I saw him, I felt something, Isla. I knew he was mine beyond any doubt. He even looked like me when I was a baby, for fuck’s sake. ‘
‘So you didn’t do the test? Like you say, I don’t suppose you needed to.’
‘Yeah I did. She was all over me in the pub; she had her hands on my cock and everything, pleading with me to do the test. We even had a quickie in the ladies, for fuck’s sake. I mean, she’d given birth only a few days before but she seemed as horny as fuck. You know me, immediately after I’ve come, I’ll agree to anything in those few minutes. So I ended up following her instructions and gave her a sample. Everything was good. She said that we could be together soon, once the test proved that the baby was mine. She said that once Xander knew she was with me, he’d make her life hell financially but I assured her that I’d take care of them. She agreed to move in with me at the weekend, once she had the test results to finally get Xander off her back. I was elated. So was she. Then, she calls me up early the next morning and told me that the results were in and that she was sorry but it was Xander’s baby. My whole fucking world imploded in my head. She told me that if I tried to make contact with her again, she’d get a restraining order and that Xander was after me and, if he ever caught up with me, he’d kill me.’
Isla stared at him as though he’d sprouted another head.
‘But . . . but . . .’ she mumbled. Her brain couldn’t comprehend what she was hearing. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense.
She told herself that it didn’t matter who was telling the truth; the fact of the matter was that Xander had fathered the child and that was that. But she wanted to believe Xander’s version of events. She wanted to believe that he hadn’t lied to her.
‘Did she say when she’d kicked him out?’ she asked suddenly, without knowing why.
‘Once the baby was born safely, just after I’d seen you with him in Brighton. God, Isla when I saw you two together, I couldn’t believe my eyes. You with him. I remember thinking, of all the men . . . it had to be him and all the fuss you’d made about me cheating . . . and there you were, large as life with a married man. As far as I knew, they were still together and she was being faithful. I almost called her up and told her that he was cheating on her and with you of all people but I’d convinced myself that she was no good for me, that it was better left in the past.’
Isla’s heart sank. She knew it was futile but she didn’t want to think badly of Xander. She knew it was over but she wanted to be able to look back fondly upon their time together. She couldn’t do that if he’d fed her a load of lies. She’d believed him when he’d told her that he hadn’t lied to her, that he’d deliberately withheld the fact that he was married because the marriage was effectively over. That he had acted with the baby’s best interests at heart by not ending it during the pregnancy.
‘Did she say anything else? Anything at all?’ She knew she sounded desperate but she didn’t care. After all, who was Jamie to judge her?
Jamie shook his head but there was g
uilt written all over his face. Isla knew him too well. ‘I don’t believe you. She said something else, didn’t she? Come on, Jamie. What does it matter now? Like you say, they’ve got everything and we’ve got nothing.’
‘We could have each other,’ he said, quietly.
Isla almost laughed in his face. But there he sat, right in front of her looking hopeful. As if they could wipe out the events of the past few months and act like nothing had happened.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Does he really think I’d be that stupid? But I’d like to know what it is that he’s not telling me . . . oh God, I know I shouldn’t but . . . hell, I don’t owe Jamie anything after what he’s done to me.
Don’t do it . . . you’ve done nothing wrong in all of this. You’re the only one who can hold your head up high . . . don’t do it, Isla.
‘You’re keeping something from me, Jamie. I can see it in your face. What else did she say? I can’t even begin to consider giving you another chance if I know you’re not being honest with me.’
He regarded her shrewdly. She could see he wasn’t convinced.
‘I loved you, Jamie. I truly did. I thought we’d grow old together. But you broke my trust. For me to trust you again, you have to earn it. And that can’t even begin if you can’t be honest with me over something that doesn’t really matter. Whatever she’s said, it has nothing to do with us being together, does it? So why not tell me? You’ve nothing to lose by telling me, only something to gain . . .’
Fucking hell, Isla Hamilton. What does it matter what she said? Don’t lower yourself to their standards . . . stop it. Stop it now.
Jamie closed his eyes and sighed. It was full of resignation. Isla held her breath and waited.
‘On the Tuesday night, when we were all cosied up on her sofa, I told her that I’d seen him with someone. I didn’t tell her it was you at first. When I did, she went ballistic. I mean totally ballistic. She said he’d accused her of having an affair before she ended it with me but she’d flatly denied it. She said she knew he wouldn’t drop it and that’s why she ended it. She knew he’d not stop until he caught her. She said that by fucking you, he was proving that he knew about her fucking me.’
Isla laughed. ‘Jamie, that’s madness. He only met me because he bought the hotel where I worked. It’s just one of those coincidences where it makes you think what a small world it is.’
He shook his head. ‘I told her that but she wouldn’t have it. She said that she’d bet all that she had that he only found the hotel by finding out about me and, in turn, finding out about you. She was pissed off that he’d bought a hotel without telling her – she didn’t seem that bothered that he was fucking you.’
‘No,’ Isla insisted. ‘No way. That’s fucking crazy. Who’d buy a hotel just because I worked there? She’s off her head.’
Again, Jamie shook his head. ‘She said he’d only have bought the hotel if it was a good business proposition, he was a shrewd businessman after all. But how did he find it? He only has one hotel, not a string of them. He doesn’t go around buying up hotels. And why that one, Isla? Ask yourself that. It’s more than a coincidence. And, if he was genuinely looking to buy another hotel, why didn’t Janine know about it? A respectable, married hotelier acquires another hotel out of the blue and then seduces the manager who just happens to be the former partner of the man his wife’s been fucking behind his back . . . how often does that happen? I mean come on . . . as coincidences go, that’s a fucking piss take. Oh don’t look so high and mighty. What does it matter now? They’re back together and they don’t give a shit about us. We were just part of their stupid games. Admit it, he used you. Or are you still in denial? If it didn’t take him long to worm his way into your knickers, and I’ll bet it didn’t take five minutes, you’ve been played, Isla. He fucked you out of revenge for Janine fucking me.’
The slight gnawing doubt that she’d flatly denied to acknowledge when Jamie had been speaking would no longer be ignored. Her mind began to collect little pieces of the puzzle and slot them together.
What if Jamie’s right? What if I was just a revenge fuck for Xander?
Then why would he hole up outside the hotel and chase me to God knows where in order to talk me around?
I had his car . . . I had his hotel . . .
But why seduce me? Why bother to do that if he wanted to keep me a secret from his wife?
Who knows . . . maybe it made him feel better. Perhaps it gave him a thrill, knowing what he was doing. If he didn’t want to lose her but he wanted revenge on her cheating, perhaps that’s how he achieved it. Fucking me on the quiet. Or what if he was keeping me quiet in case she didn’t want him once the baby was born . . . and then tell her who he’d been fucking?
But why put the hotel in my name if I’m just a part of the game?
His wife thought she was having Jamie’s baby. She’d kicked Xander out and wanted a divorce. He says he didn’t want her to have any more than he had to give her. He would have wanted to keep his acquisition of the hotel quiet so she couldn’t put a claim on it in the divorce settlement. I guess he didn’t lie about that . . . regardless of who is telling the truth, that part makes sense. If she didn’t want him, he’d want to protect his assets.
So he didn’t stay with her to keep the baby safe . . . she kept him dangling until the baby was safe.
He didn’t leave her to be with me . . . she kicked him out.
He didn’t want me . . . all along, he wanted her.
And now, the baby is his . . . yeah, they get everything. And me? I’m just the fucking idiot who fell for his manipulative lies.
The hotel’s still in your name . . .
No, Isla Hamilton, don’t even think about it. Enough of the games. The best thing you can do is to accept defeat and move the hell on.
‘Isla? Isla are you okay?’
Her eyes refocused on Jamie’s concerned face. She did her best to smile but her facial muscles seemed incapable of responding.
‘I’m fine, Jamie.’
He smiled with relief before clasping her hand in his. ‘So you’ll think about it? You’ll think about giving us another go?’
Snatching her hand away, Isla shook her head.
You’ve got to be freaking kidding me.
Be nice, he’s not in a good place either.
‘I’m sorry, Jamie, but our time came and went. I couldn’t trust you again.’
She held up her hands to quieten him when he protested. As he sat sulking, she continued, ‘I don’t seem to have a good track record when it comes to choosing men so I think it’s best if I remain on my own for the foreseeable future. We can’t erase the past, Jamie. And let’s face it, even if we could, you’re in no frame of mind to be getting involved with anyone. We’re both hurting and need time to heal. If I were you, I’d concentrate on keeping your job before you have a whole new load of crap coming your way.’
He frowned. ‘You’re hurting? Because of him? Oh my God, Isla. Don’t tell me you fell for it? You did, didn’t you? You fell for his lies and his charm and his dirty mouth. You fell for him.’
She shook her head but it was without conviction. She attempted to divert the conversation instead. ‘How do you know he has a dirty mouth?’
‘Janine loves it. She says that’s how he managed to seduce her. She thought he was after her money so she resisted him but she couldn’t resist his vulgar mouth and rough sexual appetite. She’s so ladylike and it turns out that she likes a bit of rough. You know, she taught me a lot. If that’s what you’re into now, after being with him, perhaps we could help each other out from time to time.’
Isla gasped as comprehension dawned. ‘What? You want us to be fuck buddies now?’
She shivered involuntarily. The mere thought made her skin crawl. She stood hastily, needing to distance herself from him.
Jamie covered his face with his hands. ‘I don’t know what I want. My head’s fucked. Well, yeah, I do know what I want.
I want to be with her. I want that kid to be mine. But that’s not happening. I . . . I just don’t want to be alone.’
His voice was choked with emotion. Isla sighed. ‘Jamie, you can’t change what’s happened. What you need is damage limitation. Stay away from the beer, get yourself and this place cleaned up and get yourself into work. You’re not a father . . . you thought you were for twenty four hours or so and yes, that’s tough. But it’s up to you whether you let it ruin your life. This time last week, you were a single guy at the top of his game at work. You need to get back to that.’
He stared at her like she was mad. ‘And what do I tell work, exactly? Hmm?’
She held his gaze. ‘I suggest you tell them the truth, Jamie. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll take pity on your situation and try to understand your plight. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. You know how tough it’s been to get where you are. Get your arse back in there and grovel for all you’re worth. Put Janine and the baby out of your head and concentrate on work. Otherwise, being alone will be the least of your worries. You’ll be jobless and homeless in no time. The bottle will be your only friend . . . because trust me, no woman is going to want to have anything to do with you in the state you’re in. Turn the page, make a fresh start, learn lessons from your recent experiences. Stop wallowing in pity.’
‘You’re fucking heartless, Isla,’ he snapped. ‘Or you’re just taking it out on me that Xander Rhodes used you for all he could get and you were stupid enough to fall for it. And now he’s got exactly what he wanted and you’ve got fuck all. That’s what’s bitching at you. I want her and she wants me. You want him but he doesn’t want you. He never wanted you. You were just a pawn in his game. So tell me, Isla, who’s the one to be pitied? Poor Isla. Can’t keep a guy happy. Can’t keep a guy, full stop.’
Hurt and anger surged up inside her. But she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how well some of his words had hit their mark.
