“I understand that,” Kenzie said. She smiled at Mrs. Wong, who had just poured her a cup of tea. “Thank you.” She waited until the housekeeper had left the room to continue. “If you can’t have trust in a relationship, there is no need to have that relationship.”
“But sometimes people lie for good reasons,” Judith threw out. “Don’t they? I mean, my mother lied to me about there being no other family alive. There must have been a good reason for that, don’t you think?”
Camri stiffened. “I don’t think lies are ever justified. Inevitably they cause pain or misunderstanding. The Bible says Satan is the Father of Lies. If they are his work, they can’t be good.”
“I suppose not,” Judith said with a sigh. “I just don’t like to think of my mother being a bad person.” She picked up her fork and began to eat.
“It’s possible your mother lied because any remaining family was bad and might harm you.” Kenzie seemed far more interested in Judith’s situation than the ongoing issue of Caleb. “I’ve seen families that way. Most were pure evil, while one or two were loving and trustworthy. Maybe that’s why your mother lied to you.”
Camri realized she’d made Judith feel bad and quickly agreed. “Kenzie is right. Some parents make it a goal to shield their children from the past.”
“But that isn’t how it sounded in the letter I found,” Judith said, putting her fork down again.
Camri considered this for a moment. “You keep mentioning a letter. Do you have it? Can you share it with us?”
Judith nodded. “I keep it close because . . . well, it’s all I have to go on. It puzzles and intrigues me at the same time.”
“Please share it with us,” Kenzie encouraged. “After all, we want to help you locate this missing aunt. There’s nothing that says we can’t be watchful and investigative while looking for Camri’s brother.”
Judith pulled the letter from her skirt pocket. “I found it in my mother’s things. After she died, I knew that everything would have to be sold. There were debts,” she said, lowering her gaze in shame.
“People often have debts these days,” Kenzie countered. “Frankly, I blame the banking system. The eastern banks kept lending rates low for their own people and charged outrageous interest for farmers and ranchers in the West. If it weren’t for the ability to renegotiate mortgage rates every year, many would lose everything to debt.”
Camri couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice. “You certainly know a great deal about banking practices.”
Kenzie frowned. “My former fiancé was very informative.” She looked at Judith. “Please continue.”
Judith stared at the letter in her hands rather than at her friends. “We were never wealthy. In fact, we mostly just got by. Not really in poverty, but . . .” She shook her head and finally glanced up. “We did all right, but we were so alone. My parents always kept to themselves. I suppose it was partly because we lived so far from town. My mother schooled me at home, so I never made friends either. In fact, I can honestly say that you two are my only friends in the world.”
“Didn’t you go to church?” Camri asked before realizing her question might stir up trouble.
“No. My parents weren’t churchgoers, but we did say grace.” Judith gave the hint of a smile. “And we celebrated Christmas. After all, we were Christians.”
Camri refrained from pointing out that celebrating Christmas didn’t make one a Christian. There would be time enough to speak to Judith about the gospel of Jesus and how one could be truly saved.
“When it was certain my mother would die, her creditors came calling. It was heartless, but they were determined to get their money or fair share of what little we had in possessions. I didn’t want Mother upset further, so I told them there would be an auction after her funeral and bid them wait until that time.”
“And they were willing?” Kenzie asked.
Judith nodded. “I think they realized there was precious little to be had save the actual land and house. We didn’t have any animals save one ancient horse that did well to carry me to town to get Mother’s medicine. Anyway, with Mother sleeping more, I began sorting through our meager possessions. However, I couldn’t bring myself to go through her personal things until after the funeral. That’s when I found the letter.”
Camri tried not to sound impatient. “Why don’t you share it with us?”
Judith unfolded the letter. “It starts, ‘Dear Edith.” She paused and looked up. “The name Edith Whitley was written on the envelope, but there was no address.”
“Well, at least you have that much,” Kenzie offered.
Judith cleared her throat and began to read. “‘I know you must be surprised to receive word from me after all these years, but I learned that I am dying and felt I needed to make an appeal for your forgiveness. I know that what I did was unforgivable, but I hope you might find some way to manage a small bit of understanding and forgiveness for your sister.’”
She stopped and looked at Camri. “See, she makes it clear that this Edith is her sister, but Mother never said anything about having a sister. Not once in all my memory can I ever think of a time when she or my father mentioned this woman Edith.”
Judith went back to the letter. “‘My actions were done out of desperation. You know my reasons. I know I deserve only your reproach and bitter avoidance, but I hope that the years might have eased the rift between us.” Judith glanced up. “Here’s where she mentions me. ‘Before I die, I long only to tell you that I am sorry, and yet those simple words are not enough to convey my deep regret for what I did. For Judith’s sake, I hope you will forgive me and perhaps try to help her. After all, she is blameless in this matter.’” Judith paused. “That implies Edith knew about me. She knows she has a niece.”
“But what did your mother do to need forgiveness?” Kenzie asked. “Does she ever say?”
Judith shook her head. “No, not really. She mentions some money being taken. I presume that Mother stole it from her sister, but then she goes on to acknowledge that the money isn’t important. The rest of the letter is much the same. My mother apologizes and begs forgiveness, then clearly states that she knows such forgiveness is impossible. She ends the letter like this.” Judith looked back down at the missive. “‘Knowing the pain I caused you and the situation itself, I never came home. Leaving as I did was wrong, but returning seemed even worse. I don’t know if you’re still in San Francisco, but I pray you are and that this letter will reach you.’”
She stopped again. “Mother clearly didn’t keep in touch with her family. She didn’t even know if they were still in this city.”
“Well, if something terrible happened—something so terrible your mother felt it was unpardonable—then it makes sense that she wouldn’t have corresponded with her family.” Camri nibbled her toast.
“Perhaps your mother stole your aunt’s beau,” Kenzie murmured. “Perhaps your aunt was engaged to be married—even preparing for her wedding—and your mother ran off with her fiancé.”
Judith frowned. “That would be really bad.”
Kenzie’s pained expression suggested it would be the worst of sins. Camri’s thoughts ran in a different direction, however.
“What if your mother ruined your aunt’s reputation with lies? Or perhaps she said something about your aunt, either truth or lie, that was humiliating and should never have been shared. Or what if your mother did something, then let the blame fall on her sister?”
“That would be truly terrible—heartless even,” Judith replied.
Kenzie’s eyes narrowed. “She could have stolen your aunt’s jewelry—maybe family jewelry.”
“But Mother and Father were so poor,” Judith countered.
“Yes, they were poor, but that doesn’t mean your mother’s family was poor. She mentions that money wasn’t important. It’s been my experience that only people with plenty of it feel that way. Do you know if your aunt was the elder of the two?”
“No. I know no
thing save what’s in this letter. I looked through every remaining scrap of paper in the house after finding it, but there wasn’t another bit of evidence to support the existence of my aunt.”
“Any number of things might have happened,” Camri soothed. “It’s even possible that whatever happened wasn’t nearly the horrific sin your mother believed it to be.”
“What do you mean?”
Camri shrugged. “I once invaded my brother’s room as a child. He kept a porcelain owl in his window, a gift from an aging relative. For some reason I was fascinated with it and decided to investigate it. Unfortunately, I dropped it, and it shattered into a hundred pieces. I felt horrible and quickly hid what I’d done because I didn’t want Caleb to hate me. In the days that followed, my guilt grew, and my self-condemnation threatened to eat me alive. I decided I had no choice but to confess my sin. When I did, Caleb laughed it off. He’d hated that owl but knew he was obligated to keep it. He actually thanked me for what I’d done. So you see, it might be possible that your mother did something wrong but not as terrible as she thought. Since she felt bad enough to run away from the situation, she had no way of knowing if forgiveness was ever given.”
“Camri makes a good point,” Kenzie said. She took a sip from her teacup. “When people refuse to face the truth and instead run away, it only makes matters worse.”
Camri knew Kenzie was speaking of her own situation. “Did your fiancé never offer any explanation?”
Kenzie shook her head. “I never saw him again. My family knew my embarrassment was more than I could bear and sent me to stay with an aunt. My aunt let it slip that someone came to the house, and perhaps it was Arthur, but I’ll never know for certain. If it was Arthur and he came to offer an explanation, I had no interest in hearing it. The damage was done, and I was a broken woman.”
“You mustn’t let a man have that kind of power over you.” Camri pointed at Kenzie. “You alone have the power to control your heart and mind. Letting your former fiancé devastate you in this manner only gives him that power.”
Kenzie looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. “You’ve never been in love, have you, Camri?”
Camri felt her cheeks flush. “Well . . . no. I haven’t.”
“Then you really don’t know what you’re talking about, and all the university and college classes in the world will not be able to explain it.” Kenzie got up from the table. “There are matters of the heart both good and bad that are impossible to understand without personal experience, let alone teach.”
She left the room, and Camri wallowed in her regret. “I’ve put my foot in my mouth once again.”
“You didn’t mean to,” Judith consoled. She folded her letter and put it back in her pocket. “You’ve lived a different life than Kenzie and I. It doesn’t make your life wrong or right. And it doesn’t make ours bad or good. It’s simply the way it is, and our different experiences should be seen as beneficial rather than something to be condemned.”
Camri was humbled by Judith’s words. “You’re right. I often think myself so knowledgeable, yet I can see I have so much to learn.”
Judith beamed. “Well, you’re the one who says learning is important. We shall all keep learning what we can, and hopefully it will better us.”
Camri gathered her things for work. She wanted to apologize to Kenzie. With each passing day, Camri was more and more aware of how different her thoughts and beliefs were from Kenzie’s and Judith’s. Camri had grown up in a family of intellectuals who valued education above everything else. Her parents and grandparents all had college educations. Camri had always known their attitudes were progressive, but being with Kenzie and Judith had driven that point home.
“Of course, there are things I know little about despite my education,” she murmured to herself. “Love is definitely at the top of that list.”
She’d never given herself time to fall in love. There had been brief encounters of interest. She’d even attended a handful of events on the arm of a would-be suitor, but nothing had ever come from it. Mostly because Camri hadn’t allowed it. She wanted to be a woman of independent means and have a career that gave her the freedom most women lacked. Her family encouraged this as well, although her mother had said on more than one occasion that she hoped Camri might find a young man who shared her values and interests, just as her sister Catherine had done.
Camri gazed upward. “Lord, I need to repent of my pride once again. Please help me better understand people who don’t believe as I do—who aren’t inclined toward education as I am. I want to be a good friend to Kenzie and Judith.” She sighed. She had never managed to make any real friends in life until now. Bosom companions required time and effort, and Camri had given her all to education and to her family. Now that she actually had friends, she found she enjoyed their company. She found their differences fascinating—even useful—most of the time.
“Help me apologize to Kenzie. I know she’s hurting.”
Camri checked her reflection before heading downstairs. She was still murmuring her prayer when she remembered she hadn’t yet paid the Wongs. With Christmas fast approaching, she wanted to make sure their needs were taken care of, as well as those of the household.
She went to Caleb’s office and opened one of his lower desk drawers. From there she took out a ledger and lockbox. Together with Judith and Kenzie, Camri had carefully calculated what they could afford to spend out of their pay for groceries, cable-car rides, and personal needs. Each of the women had agreed that their money should also be used to pay the Wongs. After the regular expenses were met, anything extra was allotted to aid the search for Caleb. Thankfully, everyone had been willing to help, which left them with a little cushion of money should an emergency arise.
Camri left the office and placed her things on a table near the door as Kenzie and Judith made their way downstairs.
“I’m going to pay the Wongs and give them the grocery money,” she told them. “I’ll be right back.”
“It’s raining, so I’m certainly in no hurry,” Judith replied.
Kenzie said nothing, leaving Camri all the more certain that she should apologize. Perhaps later at work she would have a moment.
Camri made her way down the back servants’ stairs. She heard the Wongs talking and remembered what Judith had said about how suspicious they were when she’d interrupted a previous discussion. At the sound of her brother’s name, Camri stopped to listen.
“Mr. Caleb would not blame us,” Mr. Wong said.
Camri frowned. What were they talking about? What would her brother not blame them for?
“But maybe he be here now if . . .” Mrs. Wong’s words faded into a muffled sob.
So they did know something about Caleb’s disappearance. But why were they not willing to tell her? Why, if they cared so much about him, didn’t they share what they knew? After all, they were aware she had come solely to search for her brother. They surely realized that any information they had might be useful.
For a moment Camri wasn’t certain what to do. She wanted to storm the room and demand they tell her what they knew, but even as she started to take a step, she stopped. The Wongs were extremely private. They would make some excuse for the situation—tell her it was a misunderstanding. And maybe it was. Camri had no right to jump to conclusions, but given the situation, wasn’t she entitled to know what the Wongs knew about her brother’s disappearance?
She drew a deep breath. She would simply go to them. Given that Mrs. Wong was crying, she would have an excuse to inquire what was wrong.
Camri took the few remaining steps with more confidence than she felt. She entered the kitchen, calling out to the Wongs. “Oh, you’re right here. I’ve brought your pay and some money for the groceries and household.”
She looked at the couple, whose eyes had widened at her appearance, but otherwise their expressions bore no other emotion.
Camri smiled and put the money on the table. “Is there anything you need from
me before I go to work?”
The couple exchanged a glance, but Mrs. Wong shook her head. “We need nothing. You have good day. It raining, so you need umbrella.”
Camri hid her disappointment and nodded. “Thank you. I’ll be sure to take one.”
She hesitated only a moment, hoping that one of them might suddenly offer up their information. When that didn’t happen, she turned and made a hurried exit. Her mind was a flurry of thoughts and accusations. What did they know? Why weren’t they being honest with her?
She rushed to join the others at the front door. “They know something,” she said, pulling on her coat.
“What?” Judith asked.
Camri didn’t bother to do up the buttons but instead grabbed her hat. She glanced over her shoulder. “The Wongs. You were right. They know something, but they aren’t saying what.”
Kenzie frowned but said nothing, while Judith nodded. “I knew it. They acted so strange that day I overheard them.”
“Well, guilt will make you do that.” Camri secured her hat, then took up the umbrella Judith offered her. “Now I just need to figure out how to get them to tell me what they know.”
CHAPTER
12
Throughout the workday, Camri’s mind was consumed by her suspicions and doubts. She couldn’t focus on the tasks at hand, and more than once Mr. Lake had reprimanded her to pay closer attention.
A few minutes before the close of their day, Mr. Lake called Camri into his office and excused Kenzie.
“Please sit down,” he instructed.
Camri took a seat and glanced at the clock. She had no doubt Mr. Lake intended to reprimand her again. She only hoped he would do it quickly so she could catch the trolley home with Kenzie and Judith.
In Places Hidden Page 10
