Steve Cole Middle Fiction 4

by Steve Cole

  “Gahhhh!” Seerblight was sent staggering backwards, and dropped me to the floor. “You fools think you can stop me? You cannot!” Angrily, he pulled out his remote control. “There is still an hour until my 1000th birthday dawns, but you know what? I’ve never been able to wait for my presents!” With a mad laugh, he hit a button on the remote and the huge, stone pow-powder cannon began to pulse with a raging red light above us. A noise like an alien gargling started up, and a ghostly mist began to gather at the business end of Seerblight’s great and terrible weapon, still pointed up at the sky like a colossal telescope.

  Staring up from the floor, I felt absolute terror creep through me. “What have you done?”

  “The cannon is counting down to activation,” Seerblight hissed. “In three minutes, the first great city shall disappear from the Earth! Not just its houses, its shops, its hospitals and skyscrapers, but its cars, its buses, its airports, its reservoirs and water pipes . . .”

  “Switch it off!” Sir Guy pointed the lance at him. “Now!”

  “No.” Seerblight dropped the remote and stamped on it. PHUT! It sparked and smoked, squashed flat. “Ha! Now nobody can stop it!”

  “NOOOOO!” Sir Guy started forward, but Seerblight pointed at him and – ZAPPP! – weird white energy sparked from the gauntlet. The knight fell back, reeling.

  I tried to spin round and kick Seerblight’s legs from under him. But his reactions were too fast – he moved away in a blur and zapped me, too. It felt like fire scooshing along my invisible veins, an intricate pattern of pain flowing through my whole body.

  “Noah!” Mum shouted. I saw she’d taken her screwdriver to Jem now, working to free her. But, as she was distracted looking over at me, Seerblight fired his finger again.

  “Mum, look out!” The pain was passing – but with my helmet gone there was no metal to amplify my voice. The flare of light sparked off Jem’s armour. Its power threw Mum aside . . .

  But it also seemed to finish the job she’d started! Jem jerked back into life, in control again. “Evil madman!” she snarled. “I’ll see that you do not enjoy your victory!” Her left hand flew to a concealed button at her hip and launched a conical flask of steaming orange brightness at Seerblight.

  “Ha!” The old wizard caught it with his gauntleted hand. “You think some thin chemical concoction can harm me?” He broke it – then gasped as his metal glove was engulfed in red-hot goo. “What?”

  “It’s not chemicals,” Jem shouted. “It’s lava, taken from your own trap downstairs!”

  “Gahhh!” While Seerblight tried to wipe the molten mess from his sizzling hand, Sir Guy struck him aside with a swing of the lance that smashed into the old man’s shoulder. Seerblight gasped and fell to the floor.

  “Well done, Sir Guy! You, too, Jem.” Wearily, I pushed myself up onto my elbows. “You . . . did great.”

  “As did you, lad. But we were too slow.” Sir Guy hung his head. “Too late to stop that foul churl!”

  Above us, the gargling noise from the cannon began to build. The lights pulsed faster and the smoke at the tip began to thicken. I crawled over to check on my mum. There was just enough metallic dust on my hands for me to be able to hold her. “Hey, Mum,” I whispered. She was still breathing, and seemed fast asleep.

  I felt numb. In what – maybe two minutes now? – the world would be rocked by the disappearance of an entire city. Millions of people would be left homeless. Thousands would fall from the upper storeys of disappearing buildings . . . Thousands more would die in hospitals as their beds vanished beneath them . . . Thousands more would—

  “We can’t give up!” Jem cried. “We MUST stop that cannon from firing!”

  “We are the only ones that can,” Sir Guy agreed.

  “NO ONE CAN!” Sprightly for a thousand-year-old, Seerblight rolled over – and pulled a sonic blaster from the folds of his cloak.

  With the volume turned up to the max, he opened fire.

  The noise tore through me, set every atom quivering, set every nerve on fire. I saw Jem jumping and twitching and flattening out as if kicked about by a herd of taser-wielding elephants. Sir Guy was thrown high up into the air – he smashed his armoured head on Seerblight’s cannon, did a double somersault upwards and landed on top of it like a metal sock slung over a very thick washing line.

  When the sound stopped, my body felt broken by the violence of the vibrations and my invisible head was ringing like mad. I could barely move, barely think. But I saw that Seerblight was back on his feet, the half-melted gauntlet now smoking on the floor, a leering smile back on his face.

  “No!” I called feebly. “No!”

  Jem and Sir Guy were stirring just as weakly. Mum was flat on her face. Maloney neighed desperately, his rigid armour rocking as he tried, and failed, to move.

  “All your efforts have come to nothing.” Seerblight was exultant. “The end of this world begins in a handful of heartbeats. Sixty seconds to go! Fifty-nine . . . fifty-eight . . . fifty-seven . . .”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  The End

  As the light show built above me . . .

  As the cannon pulsed with horrible energy . . .

  As its eerie vibrations shook through Seerblight’s tower . . .

  As the smoke was sucked up inside the huge, glowing nozzle and the final seconds ticked away. . .

  I rolled over, unable to watch.

  And found myself face to face with the scanning bit of Mum’s BRIAN™ Zap-and-Scanner, knocked from my grip just after I’d scanned Seerblight . . .

  Just after I’d scanned Seerblight!

  “Fifty-two!” Lost in the wonders of his victory, Seerblight went on chanting his creepy countdown. “Fifty-one . . .”

  “Jem!” I crawled painfully towards her. “Check out that cannon thing!”

  She looked across in a daze. “Funnily enough, Noah, I have already noticed it.”

  “I mean, study it. Look at its connections and stuff. Mum helped him build it, right? It’s based on her technology.” I reached Jem’s side. “And here’s Mum’s scanner-gadget. It plugs into her smaller-sized pow-powder zapper, lets her choose what gets invisibled!”

  Jem nodded. “Most ingenious, I am sure.”

  “You don’t get me!” I hissed. “He’s used a bigger scanner to scan the city and plugged it into the cannon so the city gets zapped with pow-powder. But what if we could SWITCH the scanners . . .”

  “Of course!” Jem breathed. “Then Seerblight himself would become the cannon’s target!” She peered up through the smoke and light at the cannon’s underside.

  “Forty!” Seerblight gave a mad cackle and crossed to the large window, ready to watch the show. “Thirty-eight . . . thirty-seven . . .”

  “As your mother built both machines, and they work on the same principle, they should be compatible . . .” Jem stared at me helplessly. “But there’s no time to get up there and see for sure!”

  “NEIGH!” Maloney said loudly. “NEIGHHH!”

  “What . . . what is it, boy?” called Sir Guy weakly from above us. “Daddy’s trying to sleep . . .”

  And it hit me like a metal fist – Sir Guy was lying on top of the cannon!

  I gave Maloney a frantic thumbs up, and called: “Hey, Sir Guy! It’s Noah. Now you’re awake, you have to do something for us.”

  “Thirty-one . . . thirty.” Seerblight turned round crossly. “There is nothing you can do!” he snapped. ‘You are powerless, you hear me? Helpless!”

  “NEIGHHHHHH!” With one last, superheroic effort, Maloney managed to move in his malfunctioning armour. And wow, HOW he moved, tipping forward onto his front legs like a gymnast doing a handstand! Sparks flew from his full metal Bad Saddle as it ejected, leaping from his back, flying through the air . . .

  And smashing into Seerblight’s back, crushing him against the thick glass window like a swatted fly. “Erk!” the sorcerer moaned.

  “YEIGH!” said Maloney, tipping back down onto all four legs
again.

  “You’re a star, boy!” I told him.

  But now, with less than half a minute left, it was down to the three of us.

  “Sir Guy!” Jem called. “If you reach down to your left, you will find a thick black cable joining the telescopic sight on top of the cannon to the cannon itself.”

  “The what?” Sir Guy boomed.

  “The red metal thing with the glassy bit on the end!” I yelled back.

  “Ah . . . yes! Got it!” Sir Guy called. “Shall I mangle it?”

  “NO!” Jem cringed. “Unplug it from the telescopic sight! Be careful!”

  “Careful?” Sir Guy sounded puzzled. “What is this strange word, ‘careful’ . . . ?”

  “Never mind!” I got up, weighed the little scanner in my hands. “Unplug the cable without mangling it – and plug it into the thing I’m going to throw up to you.”

  “You are going to throw up at me, lad? Can you not use a bucket—?”

  “I’m going to throw a gadget up to you!” I screamed. How long did we have now – twenty seconds? Fifteen? “Are you ready?”

  “Mais oui!”

  Jem took one end of the scanner; I took the other. We looked at each other . . . counted quickly to three . . . and hurled it upwards into the smoke.

  “Got it!” Sir Guy shouted. “Thank you. ’Tis very nice.”

  “PLUG THE CABLE INTO IT!” we shrieked.

  “Very well. Now where is the hole . . .”

  “Quickly!” I squeaked.

  “Let me have a look . . .”

  “Just do it!” Jem begged him.

  “Is this it? No . . .”

  Maloney whinnied in despair.

  “Whatever you were planning, you are too late!” Seerblight had got back to his feet, his face bruised, his eyes shining with malevolence. “Three! Two! One! ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!”

  There was nothing more we could do but watch. The pow-powder cannon seemed to swell as if drawing in some enormous demonic breath, and then, finally, horribly, terrifyingly:

  It fired.

  The light show was a blinder, almost literally. A chaos of colour and breathtaking brightness.

  Seerblight went up like a Guy Fawkes dummy on a nuclear bonfire!

  And when the light finally faded, and the vibrations died away, and the cannon fell silent and still . . . there was no trace of him left at all.

  Jem smiled slowly. “It . . . actually . . . worked!”

  “What did I do?” called Sir Guy.

  “You swapped Seerblight’s scan-target for Mum’s!” I told him. “So, instead of the cannon firing its pow-powder at the city, it fired it at Seerblight!”

  Jem nodded. “He took enough pow-powder to turn a whole city invisible . . . enough to vanish him a million times over!”

  “He’s gone.” Mum was awake now, sitting up. “Seerblight is gone forever.”

  “YEIGHHH!” Maloney cheered.

  But my smile faltered as I looked at Mum and realised she couldn’t see me. “Only thing is . . . we’re still gone, too.”

  But Mum could see my armour, at least. She crouched beside the pile of random metal and gave it a gentle hug. “Don’t worry, Noah. Seerblight forced me to come up with the way to reverse pow-powder, remember? The formula is in the chilled cabinet, ready to rock. I’ll get you right back to normal.” She looked around. “I’ll get all of you back to normal. Then we’ll destroy that cannon and all the rest of the pow-powder so it can never be used again.”

  Mum smiled in the direction of my face, and I smiled back with actual, proper happiness for the first time since I’d become invisible. Then she turned to Lady J beside me. “I heard Noah call you Jem . . . so I’m thinking you’re Lady Jemima Smyth?”

  Jem curtseyed politely.

  “I . . . thought you might like this back.” Mum pulled Jem’s old diary from the pocket of her stained lab coat. “Letting me read it caused one or two, er, issues . . .”

  “But, in the end, it happened to save the world.” Jem took it, turned to me and smiled. “Good can come from even the biggest disasters, you see?”

  “I see.” Then I shuddered. “But I’d rather not see that thing ever again!”

  Jem crossed to the lava still bubbling on Seerblight’s gauntlet and dropped the diary into it. It burst into flames, the secrets on its pages lost forever.

  With a nod of satisfaction, Mum picked up her screwdriver and went over to Maloney, started working to set him free.

  “Cured,” said Jem quietly, looking very moved. “Oh, Noah, we shall be cured! After so, so long, I will be able to change my clothes . . . drink tea . . .”

  “DRINK ALE!” cried Sir Guy.

  “And we shall begin to age again.” Jem shook her head in wonderment. “The passing of the years will leave their mark.”

  I nodded. “I guess if you weren’t cured, you’d live forever?”

  “No, Noah. One might endure forever, as Seerblight hoped, but one would not live.” She nodded sagely. “True living is all that we put into the years – and all we take in return.”

  “Pish! Your worthy wisdom is throwing the party vibe, milady!” Sir Guy dropped down from the cannon and whumped her affectionately on the shoulder. “Let us get ready to wassail and fill the mead cup with ale, brandy, cider and wine. And then more ale! The world is saved!”

  As Maloney was freed by Mum, he stamped a metal hoofbeat out on the floor. Sir Guy started beatboxing, then burst into a booming rap:

  “Victory is ours!

  We got the powers!

  Invisible Inc. made a mess

  of Seerblight Towers!

  Scattering ninjas

  and blowing up Butt

  Saving the world,

  now you’re seeing us strut!”

  To my amazement, Jem suddenly joined in, while Sir Guy got back to his bonkers beatboxing.

  “Except you really can’t see us

  cos of course we’re invisible.

  Well, soon we’ll be solid –

  but still indivisible!

  Yeah, Momma. Check me out!”

  Jem launched into a wild cancan in full spiky armour. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.

  But as I stared out over the twinkling lights of the stars above and the town below – a town that wouldn’t be going anywhere soon – I found myself joining in with the crazy shape-throwing.

  Well. They say you should dance like no one’s watching, don’t they?

  And, when you’re invisible – or Invisible Incorporated – there’s really no excuse not to take that to the max.

  EPILOGUE

  What Did They Do Next?

  LADY JEMIMA SMYTH

  Once retired from Invisible Inc., moved into Seerblight’s HQ. She employed the beaten, battered ninjas to clear out all the traps, magic and roasted chicken-monsters and had the place converted into the ‘Lady Smyth Very Nice School for Scientists’, to be run by Professor Trudi Deer (with special half-term ‘battle’ lessons supplied by Sir Guy deYupp and his pony, Maloney). She then took several science degrees at top universities around the world and became joint head of a secret science research team alongside Professor Hannah-Anna Hongananna and Dr Eric Gooseheart (and, so rumour has it, an alien very fond of hugs known as Little G – see ALIENS STINK from Magic Ink Productions).

  SIR GUY deYUPP

  Once retired from Invisible Inc., founded the world’s most successful and spectacular historical re-enactment society with particular attention paid to BATTLES. His debut album, Mansion-master Guy (Feat. Rude Horse and Bad Lady J) Sings Your Favourite Battlefield Ballads reached number one in the ‘Battlefield Ballad’ chart.

  MALONEY the PONY

  Once retired from Invisible Inc., became a racehorse and won the Grand National and Triple Crown several years running before retiring from the sport and becoming manager of Sir Guy de Yupp’s Splendid Historical Re-enactment Society and occasional guest speaker at the Lady Smyth Very Nice School for Scientists. Hi
s book of verse, Green is the Sugar Lump of Youth, quickly became a New York Times Bestseller.

  TRUDI DEER

  Never served baked beans to her son again; most times, they cook and eat their meals together. Currently teaching young scientists at the Lady Smyth Very Nice School for Scientists. Also working on her own amazing projects, but remembers to take time off once in a while.

  AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT BOY . . .?

  Noah Deer is out there getting noticed as a writer. He’s already written the true story of his experiences with pow-powder – with a little help from co-authors Sir Guy deYupp, Jemima Smyth and Maloney the Pony – and he’s sure that many more adventures lie ahead. He plans to write all about those, too . . .

  In visible ink.