“So here’s the plan,” Zac said. He pointed at me. “I’ll take Bella on my bike.” He looked at Bobby. “Bobby you take Joe!”
“Great!” I said.
“Right!” Bobby said.
“Ah, why do I get Bobby?” Joe asked.
“Because you’re lucky!” I said with a smile.
“True,” Zac grinned.
“Thanks!” Bobby said.
“Yeah, thanks,” Joe groaned.
“Okay, I’ll tell Mom I’m going to take Bobby for a bike ride to help train him,” Zac said.
Meg walked into the room. “Okay, so what am I doing?” she asked.
Zac looked at her. “You have to stay home and keep Mom distracted.”
Meg smiled an evil grin. “I can do that!” she said. She paused. “Do I still get paid?”
“Yes, of course,” I said. “Once we get home safe and get big again, we’ll send your money back with Zac.”
Meg nodded. “I can deal with that!”
“Good,” Zac said, clapping his hands. “We have a plan. We can do this! I’ll go talk to Mom.”
I felt good about things for the first time since I had been small. I felt confident that soon we’d be normal size again. Life would be better than ever and I would now be closer to Zac. Ah, yes, our children would love this story.
Chapter 13
Zac and Meg left the room, leaving us alone with Bobby (who swore he would not little person nab us this time).
“So,” Bobby said slowly. “What’s it like being little? Do you shop at little stores? Do you watch little TVs? Do you eat little food? Are your poops little?” he asked.
“Bobby, you do understand that we’re not really little,” Joe told him.
Bobby laughed and shook his head. He showed us his thumb. “Dude, you are about the size of my thumb. You are little!”
Joe rolled his eyes. “I’m way bigger than thumb size. I’m at least the size of two thumbs.”
“Nice way to make your point there Joe,” I told him.
“Yes Bobby, we shop at little stores. We watch the big TVs because with TVs, the bigger the better. We do eat little food. But our poops somehow come out as normal size,” I told him.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” Bobby asked.
“It’s just part of the little people magic,” I told him.
“Wait?” Bobby said with a tilted head. “I didn’t think you could do magic.”
“It’s the only magic we can do. Poop magic. Our poop even smells like roses!” I said, rolling with it.
“It does?” Bobby asked, eyes popping open.
“Sure does!” I replied.
“I think my poop smells better than roses,” Bobby said. He paused. “Of course nobody else seems to think that. I think their noses are broken.”
I nodded. “Yep, sounds like it to me.”
“Do you want me to bring you into the bathroom next time I poop?” Bobby asked.
Joe nudged me. “Now that sounds like a marvelous idea. You can tell him stories while he goes.”
Bobby jumped up and down clapping. “Oh, I like it! I like it!”
I gave Joe my look. I turned to Bobby. “Bobby, pooping is private time. It’s always best if you poop alone. It gives you time to think about stuff.”
“I do think a lot when I poop,” Bobby said. “I think about horses and cows and the sun. And toilet paper. Did people always have toilet paper?”
“Ah, now that’s a good question. I think in the old days they used leaves,” I said, not really knowing the answer. Well, I knew people didn’t always have toilet paper, but it really was something I had never researched. Now, that might drive me crazy for the rest of the day until I could google the answer.
“Actually, people used to use their hands,” Joe said, very scientifically.
“Oh gross,” I gagged.
“Oh so, so, cool!” Bobby said with his mouth popped open. “I have got to try that.”
I turned to Joe. “See what you’ve started.”
Joe crossed his arms. He turned away. “Serves him right for calling me short!”
I found this out of character for Joe. I could only guess that being shrunken had started to get to him. I guess he didn’t like being at the mercy of a five-year-old. Well let’s face it, nobody would like that.
I leaned into him. “BTW is that true?” I whispered.
“There are some cultures where people still use their hands,” Joe said. “They use their hands and a bucket of water. Some people even claim that’s better than using tissue paper.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be one of those people,” I said.
“Me neither,” Joe agreed. He shrugged. “Still, everyone is different. I know there are people in Africa who don’t like the scent of people who use deodorant. They think it’s unnatural.”
I nodded. “It is unnatural, but sometimes nature stinks.”
Joe laughed. “They disagree. People are different. It’s amazing how our culture influences how we think and look at the world.” Joe looked at Bobby. “Bobby, while some cultures do use their hands to clean their butts, it’s probably best if you don’t, ’cause it’s really icky if you don’t know what you are doing.”
“What’s a culture?” Bobby asked, missing the bigger picture.
“A group of people and how they live,” Joe said slowly.
Bobby grinned. “Oh neat. Okay, I won’t use my hand.”
“Good man!” Joe said.
Bobby leaned over us. “I like you little people, you talk funny but you are nice. I’m going to make sure Zac and I get you home safe. Do little people have mommies and daddies?”
“Yes,” Joe and I both answered.
“Are they little too?” Bobby asked, still really not grasping what had happened to Joe and me.
“Yes,” I answered, not wanting to deal with this any longer.
Good thing Zac and Meg came back into the room.
“Zac, do you know some cultures use their hands to wipe their butts?” Bobby told him jumping up and down.
“Actually I didn’t know that,” Zac said.
“Gross,” Meg said. “Imagine shaking their hand!”
Bobby pointed at me. “The little people taught me that.”
I pointed at Joe. “Actually, Joe was the one.”
“I like giving out knowledge, even if it’s weird knowledge,” Joe said, with a smirk.
“Okay, we have the plan,” Zac interrupted. “I already told Mom I’m taking Bobby for a pre-dinner bike ride, to teach him how to safely ride a bike and get some exercise. Mom is way on board.”
“Great!” I said.
“While Meg distracts Mom, I will carry you both out the back door in my front shirt pocket,” Zac continued.
“Hey, what about me?” Bobby said with a foot stomp.
Zac looked at him. “Once we are outside, I will put Joey in your bike pouch. You will then SLOWLY and CAREFULLY follow me to Bella’s house.”
Bobby grinned. “I can do that!”
We actually got past Zac and Bobby’s mom with no problems. She even told them to “have fun”.
My hunch was that she was happy to be able to prepare supper without Bobby around. Zac carried Joe and me into the garage. Bobby hopped on his bike. Zac dropped Joe into Bobby’s bike pouch. Zac hopped onto his cool bright red 25-speed bike.
“Nice bike,” I said as he pedaled out of the garage.
Zac grinned. “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. And super-fast! I should have you back home in a few minutes.”
“Take your time,” I told him. I liked being with Zac a lot. Of course, I couldn’t really tell him that. I needed a better reason for him to go slow. “Remember, Bobby is behind you with Joe.”
“Right,” Zac said, pedaling down the driveway. “So what’s really the deal with you and my man, Joe?”
I shook my head. “No deal really. We’ve just known each other FOREVER. He’s my best friend. My best bud. My BFF.”
“So a
h…do ya…ah…like him?” Zac said, turning a little red.
I kept myself from rolling my eyes. “Of course I like him. I said he was my BFF. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.”
“I mean do you like, like him. Like have you ever kissed?”
I stuck out my tongue. “Oh no. Gross. It would be like you kissing Bobby,” I laughed.
Zac laughed too. “Nice to know,” he said.
Wow. Amazing. Somehow, some way, the worst possible day in my life had turned into the best! Yeah, well, sure I was still two inches tall. But and this is a big but, I was on a bike alone with Zac, the cutest boy in the world. My dream guy! Amazing. Zac seemed to be interested in me! I guess not every girl has a mom so cool she can invent a shrink ray. Plus, you know when you think about it, you’ve got to be pretty brave to experiment with a shrink ray. Not only that, but you’ve got to be pretty smart, and ingenious, and tough, to survive when you are two inches tall. Zac seemed sharp enough to recognize that. Being small had led to the biggest moment of my life.
A bit of light rain started to fall. But I didn’t really notice. It even felt kind of refreshing. After all, I was on a bike alone with Zac!
“You know, I can do tricks on this cool bike!” Zac bragged.
“Really?” I said in amazement, most of it real.
“Yep!” Zac nodded. “I can pop a wheelie and ride on one wheel!” he said, chest out.
Now, if I had been thinking straight, I would have said, “Show me later when I am regular size and it’s not raining.’ But instead, I said, “Wow, so cool! Show me now! Show me now!!!”
“Gladly!” Zac said. He pulled back on the bike’s handlebars. I saw the front wheel lift off the ground.
“Awesome!” I gasped.
“That’s nothing!” Zac said. He popped his hands behind his head. “I can do this with no hands!”
“Impress….”
Never got to finish that statement. Zac hit a slick spot on the sidewalk. The bike fell backward and crashed to the ground. I went flying through the air. I passed through a picket fence. I landed on the ground. I pushed myself up. Once again being small seemed to help me take the fall.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay!” Zac called to me.
“I think I’m okay too!” I said. Thanks for asking – I thought.
I heard a growl. I looked up to see a chihuahua running at me. I knew this dog. His name was Pepper.
I held up an arm. I may have been small, but I was still a person, and Pepper was a poodle. He’d figure that out.
“Stop, Pepper, stop!” I ordered.
Pepper stopped; an amazed look on his face.
“Pepper, it’s me! Bella! I’ve taken you for walks! We use to play a lot when you were a puppy!” I told him.
Pepper stood over me. He opened his mouth and showed his teeth. Wet, sticky dog drool dripped on me. Then he started barking.
“Oh, Pepper, you really need a breath mint! And stop barking at me!” I told him. My orders didn’t work. This dog was freaked out by something being smaller than him!
No, I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let this bad day - turned good day - turn into a terrible day. I dove forward just as Pepper snapped at me. I rolled under his tummy then past him. I jumped to my feet. Pepper spun to face me. I wagged a finger. “Bad dog! Bad Pepper!” I scolded.
Pepper just growled and spun towards me. Pepper sprang forward. He opened his mouth, drooling even more now. I covered my eyes. Yep, this was it. I was going to be eaten by a tiny dog with a big attitude. Yep, I would never be able to live this down.
“Bad dog!” I heard Zac shout. Zac leaped over the fence and dove between Pepper and me. Pepper saw Zac and took a step back. Zac got up on one knee. “Go inside!” he shouted, waving towards Pepper’s house. Pepper looked at me, hiding behind Zac. Pepper looked at Zac, sizing him up. Pepper turned and sulked away, tail between his legs.
Zac picked me up. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m a little shaken up, but mostly okay,” I said. “How are you?”
“Huh?” Zac said as he hopped over the fence. “Oh I ripped my pants, but the bike is fine. And I’m fine, I’m tough,” Zac smiled.
“Ya know, I’m only a dumb kid and even I know you’re not supposed to ride on one wheel in the rain,” Bobby scolded. “I think you were showing off to the little girl.”
I heard Joe snickering inside Bobby’s bike pouch.
“Okay, that was kind of dumb,” Zac admitted. His head dropped, he looked embarrassed.
“That’s okay, Zac,” I reassured him. “It was cool until we fell and I almost got eaten by a chihuahua.”
Okay, thinking about it, that really wasn’t all that cool falling and almost being eaten, but I didn’t want Zac to feel bad about himself. After all, Zac was only trying to impress me, which was cool. Plus he did leap over the fence and scare Pepper away. I pointed to my house. “My house is just two doors down!”
Zac grinned meekly. “I’ll walk you the rest of the way.”
“Smart,” Joe said, “very smart idea.”
Zac popped me back into his shirt pocket and then picked up his bike. He started walking.
“Should I walk or ride?” Bobby asked.
“Walk!” Joe said quickly. “Ah, not that you’re not an excellent bike rider, but it will make your bro feel better if you’re walking too,” Joe added.
“You sure?” Bobby asked. “I promise I’m not dumb enough to try to ride on one wheel when it’s raining.”
“I’m sure,” Joe said.
“Let it go, Bobby! Let it go!” Zac muttered. Zac looked down at me. “Do you believe this kid?”
Wow, another bonding moment with Zac. I smiled. “Oh, I sure do. I have a little sister who is just as annoying as Bobby!”
“Hey, I can hear you guys!” Bobby said.
Zac and I shared a laugh and he started walking towards my house.
Chapter 14
Seeing my home made my heart race. Our exciting adventure would soon be over. Zac would deliver us home and Mom would fix us. I would be back to normal! Now, the question in my mind was...would going back to normal mean things would go back to normal with Zac and I?
In other words, would Zac go back to hardly ever talking to me? I would hate that. If that was going to be the case...I’d rather remain small. Well, almost. No matter what, I had to be pleased with the time I’d spent with Zac.
“Ah, I kind of hate to bring this up,” Zac said. “After all, you seem cool and all. But…” He looked down, he looked up, he looked away.
“What?” I asked.
“Ah, well…” Zac mumbled.
By now, Bobby and Joe were walking side by side with us.
“He wants to know if your house still stinks of poop!” Joe shouted.
Zac smiled and pointed at Joe. “Nailed it, buddy.”
Joe stood in the bike pouch grinning ear to ear.
I guess I couldn’t blame Zac for being concerned. It was a legit question. It felt kind of cool that Zac knew enough about me to remember my house was the poop house. Okay, after saying that, it didn’t feel quite as good. Still, Zac knew stuff about me.
I shook my head. “Nope, our house no longer smells like poop!” I said, probably far more proudly than I should have. After all, nobody ever brags, “Hey my house smells like poop!”
When you are me, you take wins when you can get them. We reached my house. The yard was clear of all the yard sale junk. Only the tables in the yard gave any sign that there had been a yard sale earlier.
Zac walked up the steps of the porch to my front door. “Should I knock?” Zac asked.
“No, just stand there until the door scans you and then magically opens,” Joe said.
“Really?” Zac asked, eyes wide open.
“No. not really!” I told him. I glared at Joe.
“That would have been cool!” Zac said.
“Yes, it would have,” I said. “But this is not Star T
rek.”
“I prefer Star Wars anyhow,” Zac said.
“Oh ouch,” Joe said.
“You big guys can be so weird,” Bobby said. “Is anybody going to knock on the door?”
Zac knocked on the door three times. We listened. We didn’t hear anything. Zac knocked four times. Still nothing. Zac noticed we had a doorbell next to the door.
“Hey, a doorbell!” he said reaching for it.
“Wait…”
Too late, Zac hit the button. We heard the roadrunner like “Beep Beep” coming from behind the door. Zac smiled. “So cool!”
We waited at the door. Still nothing.
“I don’t think anybody’s home,” Zac said.
I groaned. We were so close.
“There’s no way we are going to let a locked door stop us!” I said.
“We can just wait for your mom to come home,” Joe suggested.
If I was smart or patient, I would have waited. But if I was patient or smart, I wouldn’t be two-inches tall right now.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to spend time out here. We might attract attention. That’s the last thing we or my mom needs.
“So how do we get in?” Zac asked.
“Can you do little people magic?” Bobby asked.
Zac rolled his eyes. “Bobby they can’t do magic!”
“Bummer,” Bobby groaned.
“For once Bobby, I agree with you.” I scratched my head. Looking on the bright side, things weren’t so bad. We were at my house. We could just wait. But I had to get into the house. Suddenly, I remembered. “We have a rock!” I shouted.
“Ah, that’s not all that impressive,” Zac said. “Pretty much everybody has rocks.”
I pointed to a big triangular rock next to our porch stairs. “Bobby go get the rock and give it to Zac.”
Bobby popped down the stairs and grabbed the rock. “Hey, it’s not as heavy as it looks.”
“That’s cause it’s hollow!” I said.
Bobby walked up the stairs holding the fake rock. “Wow, hollow! What’s hollow?”
Bobby handed the rock to Zac.
“Turn it over,” I said.
Zac turned the rock over and looked down at it. “There’s a dial on it.”
Zac to the Rescue! Page 7
