ALEXANDER. Three? Once I had one, but he…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Three… Let’s begin by seniority. That one… Pospelov, it seems… After you hadn’t seen each other for several years, a different friend would have turned away from you when you met, but he invited you to his house, offered you his services and help, and, I’m convinced, would even have given you money, and in our time money is the touchstone to test more than feeling… No, please introduce me to him; I see him as a decent fellow, but according to you, he’s a villain… So, what do you think, who’s your second friend?
ALEXANDER. Who? Why, no one.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Huh? Liza, he doesn’t even blush! And I, how do I rate with you, may I ask?
ALEXANDER. You’re… a relative.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. That’s a fine title! I thought I was more. That’s not kind, Alexander. That’s a character trait which is called vile even in grade-school copy books, and such as you don’t find even in Krylov.
ALEXANDER. But you’ve always pushed me away…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Yes, when you wanted to embrace me!
ALEXANDER. You laughed at me, at feeling…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. And why, to what end?
ALEXANDER ( gets up and holding out his arms, goes to his uncle ). Uncle!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Sit down, I haven’t finished! Your third and best friend I hope you’ll name yourself…
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA ( interrupting ). Pyotr Ivanovich, don’t try to be clever for Heaven’s sake, let him be…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Don’t interfere!
ALEXANDER ( quite embarrassed ). I can appreciate my aunt’s friendship…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No, you can’t. If you could, you wouldn’t be looking at the ceiling to find a friend, but would point to her. If you truly felt her friendship, out of respect for her merits you wouldn’t think ill of people. She alone should redeem in your eyes the faults of others. Who dried your tears and whimpered with you?
ALEXANDER. Oh, dear Aunt! You don’t think, that I don’t esteem… I swear!
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. I believe you, I believe you, Alexander! Don’t listen to Pyotr Ivanovich. He’s making mountains out of molehills, glad of a chance to show off his intelligence. For Heaven’s sake, stop, Pyotr Ivanovich.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Right away, I’ll finish right away. Just one last word! You said you do no wrong to others. Tell me now, do you love your mother?
ALEXANDER. What a question! I’d give my life for her…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. So tell me, when did you last write to her?
ALEXANDER. About… three weeks ago.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No. Four months… Well, then, what kind of beast are you?
ALEXANDER. That long! (Frightened. )What’s happened?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. The old woman is sick with grief.
ALEXANDER. Really! Oh, Heavens! Heavens!
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. Not so! It’s not so! She’s not sick, but much grieved.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. You spoil him, Liza.
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. And you are immoderately severe. There were certain difficulties which distracted Alexander for a time…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. To forget his mother for some girl–fine difficulties!
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. Enough, for Heaven’s sake!
ALEXANDER. Don’t interrupt Uncle, dear Aunt. Let him thunder his reproaches. I’ve deserved worse, I’m a monster! (Seizes his head in his hands. )
PYOTR IVANOVICH. In the words of your favorite author, “Rather than trying to evaluate others, Better turn your fox eye on yourself.” ( To his wife softly. )I think I’ve done just as you asked. (Gets up. )But now I have good news for you, Alexander.
ALEXANDER. What is it Uncle?
PYOTR IVANOVICH ( taking out a sealed envelope ). An answer from the editor.
ALEXANDER. Give it to me, give it to me quickly! (Opens the envelope. )
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Read it aloud. We’ll rejoice together.
ALEXANDER ( reading ). “What kind of mystification is this, my dearest Pyotr Ivanovich? You’ve signed this story. But who’d believe you! No, the fragile products of your china factory are much more solid than this piece of work…” ( Alexander’s voice falls. )
PYOTR IVANOVICH. I can’t hear you, Alexander! Speak louder!
ALEXANDER ( continuing to read ). “Out of sympathy with the author of the story you probably want to know my opinion. Here it is: The author must be a young man. He’s not stupid, but somehow pathologically angry at the whole world. In what an enraged, furious mood he writes! Probably he’s disappointed! Oh, God, when will his kind die out! (Alexander takes a deep breath. )Pride, daydreaming, the development of all sorts of emotional leanings and the stultification of the mind with the inevitable consequence–indolence–these are the causes of this evil. Learning, labor, a practical job–these are the remedies for it. This is what can bring our idle, sick youth to their senses.”
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. Don’t go on, Alexander. Let be…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Why? (Taking the letter from Alexander, he finishes reading it. )“Tell your protégé that, first of all, a writer only writes sensibly when he’s not under the influence of personal enthusiasms and preferences. He should view life and people in general with a calm, bright eye; otherwise he’ll express only his own ego which interests no one. The second and main condition is talent, and there isn’t even a trace of it here.”
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. That’s not so! The story is good, and he has talent, though he writes differently from others…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. The editor knows better than we, Liza, whether he has talent or not… Well, Alexander, how do you feel?
ALEXANDER. Calmer than one might have expected. I feel like a person who’s been deceived in everything.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No, like a person who has deceived himself and wanted to deceive others too… ( Holds out to Alexander the thick pile of his manuscript sheets. )What shall we do with your manuscript, Alexander?
ALEXANDER. Don’t you need to paper any screens?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No, not now. (Alexander begins to tear up the manuscript. )Bravo! That’s right!
ALEXANDER ( tearing with fanaticism ). Good, good! I’m free!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. What are you going to do now?
ALEXANDER. What? Now, for the time being, nothing.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. You can do nothing only in the country, but here… Why did you come here? Liza, excuse me, we two must talk man to man… Actually that’s why I asked you to come here. (Elizaveta Alexandrovna exits. )Do you know my partner Surkov? (Alexander nods. )He’s a good fellow, but very shallow. His greatest weakness is women. He’s no sooner fallen for one then he goes and throws money around: surprises, presents; he begins to change his coach and horses… This is when he launches into big spending; his percentages are not enough, so he begins asking me for money. If I refuse, he starts talking about taking the capital.
ALEXANDER. What’s all this leading to, Uncle?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. You’ll soon see. Recently a young widow, Yuliya Pavlovna Tafayeva, returned here from abroad… Well, have you guessed?
ALEXANDER. Surkov fell in love with the widow?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. He’s quite mad about her! And what else?
ALEXANDER. What else… I don’t know…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. You’re a fine one! Well, listen, Surkov has twice let it be known that he’ll need money soon. If you don’t help… Now have you guessed?
ALEXANDER. Surkov’s asking for money, you don’t have any. You want me to…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No, that isn’t it.
ALEXANDER. Then… Now I’ve got it…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. What have you got?
ALEXANDER. Strike me dead, Uncle, I don’t understand anything!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Get Tafayeva to fall in love with you.
ALEXANDER ( puzzled ). That’s absurd!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. What’s absurd about it?
ALE
XANDER. I won’t do it for anything!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. I beg you, Alexander, for the sake of the business…
ALEXANDER. I just don’t want to see women. And what you propose…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. So don’t even look at her… Just superficially… that’ll be even better…
ALEXANDER. First of all, Uncle, it’s a vile thing to do…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. It’s only a trick that doesn’t hurt anyone… At first Surkov will go mad with jealousy, but then cool off quickly–I know him. And our capital will be intact…
ALEXANDER. I can’t.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Too bad. I was even very much counting on you. And, it seems, until now I haven’t overburdened you with requests.
ALEXANDER. But I don’t like this one; it’s even repugnant to me.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Just suffer through it. One must, after all, do a few things one doesn’t like. Help me out, Alexander, I beg you! It’s terribly important to me. If you do this–do you remember the two vases you admired at the factory? They’re yours.
ALEXANDER. Excuse me, Uncle, do you really imagine I’d take a present…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Yes, why should you start troubling yourself for nothing, waste your time? When I do something for you, offer me a present–I’ll take it. Help me out, Alexander, I beg you.
ALEXANDER ( undecided ). I can try…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Well, good. Just have a try! I guarantee you’ll succeed. On Thursday I’ll introduce you to Tafayeva. This whole business will take a month, two at most. I know Surkov… Goodbye!
SCENE 12
Tafayeva’s drawing room. Several guests conversing in both Russian and French. Pyotr Ivanovich and Alexander enter and bow to the guests.
PYOTR IVANOVICH ( taking Alexander to Tafayeva ). Allow me, Yuliya Pavlovna, to introduce my nephew Alexander. (Alexander kisses Tafayeva’s hand. Everyone’s eyes are on him. )Isn’t my friend Surkov here? Has he forgotten you?
TAFAYEVA. Oh, no! I’m very grateful to him; he comes to call on me.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Where is he?
TAFAYEVA. Imagine, he gave his word to get me and my cousin without fail a box for tomorrow at the theater when, they say, none is to be had… He went for them just now.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. And he’ll get them, I’ll guarantee he will; he’s a genius at that… Yes, here he is.
(Surkov enters. He has in his hand a cane with a gold top in the shape of a lion’s head. Surkov kisses Tafayeva’s hand, bows to the guests. His gaze rests on Alexander. )
SURKOV ( to Alexander ). You’re here too, young man! (Alexander bows. )
PYOTR IVANOVICH ( under his breath to Alexander ). He has a presentiment! (Surkov goes up to the ladies, kisses their hands. )Ah! And he’s got a cane. What does that mean? (Aloud to Surkov. )What’s that?
SURKOV ( in passing ). I was getting out of the carriage recently… I stumbled and am a little lame.
PYOTR IVANOVICH ( again quietly to Alexander ). Nonsense! Did you notice the head of the cane–the gold lion’s head? He bragged that he’d paid six hundred rubles for it, and now he’s showing it off. That’s an example for you of the means by which he works. Do battle with him and drive him out of the field… Remember the vases are yours and be inspired.
SURKOV ( to Tafayeva, waving the tickets ). Do you have a ticket for tomorrow?
TAFAYEVA. No.
SURKOV. Allow me to present you this. (Gives the ticket to Tafayeva. )
TAFAYEVA. Pyotr Ivanovich, won’t you sit in my box?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. I’m very grateful, but tomorrow I’m engaged to be at the theater with my wife. But, here, let me present a young man to you in exchange…
TAFAYEVA. I wanted to ask him too. There are but three of us, my cousin and I, yes and…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. He’ll take my place and, if necessary, he’ll replace this dashing fellow. (He points to Surkov. )
SURKOV. I thank you, only it would have been better to propose a replacement earlier, before there was a ticket. Then I would have seen how I would be replaced.
TAFAYEVA. Oh dear, I’m very grateful for your kindness, but I didn’t invite you to sit in the box because you have an orchestra seat. Surely you prefer to face the stage directly… especially at the ballet.
SURKOV. No, no, you’re being sly, you don’t think that. Exchange a place beside you–not for anything!
TAFAYEVA. But it’s already promised…
SURKOV. How? To whom?
TAFAYEVA. Monsieur René. (She points to a bearded foreigner. )
MONSIEUR RENÉ. Oui, Madame m’a fait cet honneur.
SURKOV. I’m deeply obliged to you! (Turning to Pyotr Ivanovich, points to Alexander. )I owe this to you.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. No need to be grateful. But won’t you sit in my box? My wife and I are only two. You haven’t seen her for a long time, you could pay her court…
SURKOV ( in a hurry ). I’m leaving! Goodbye!
TAFAYEVA. So soon! Will you come to see us tomorrow in our box if only for a minute?
SURKOV. How sly of you! One minute, when you know that for a place beside you I’d give up a place in paradise.
TAFAYEVA. If theatrical paradise, I believe you! Let us go into the dining room, ladies and gentlemen.
(Surkov is about to give his arm to Tafayeva, but Pyotr Ivanovich gives Alexander a slight push. Alexander stretches out his arm to Tafayeva, who takes it with pleasure as they go into the dining room. Pyotr Ivanovich takes Surkov’s arm and the other guests follow. )
SCENE 13
At Tafayeva’s house. Alexander and Tafayeva stand in close embrace; they kiss.
TAFAYEVA. Will you leave for work early tomorrow?
ALEXANDER. Around eleven.
TAFAYEVA. Then come here at ten, we’ll have breakfast… Or couldn’t you just not go at all?
ALEXANDER. But how? My country… My duty…
TAFAYEVA. Just tell them you love and are loved. (They embrace. )Surely your department head must have loved too. Your aunt made a bad impression on me. I assumed she was an elderly woman, not pretty… I forbid you to spend time with her, do you hear?
ALEXANDER. I promise, Yuliya! (They embrace. )
TAFAYEVA. We won’t have to say goodbye this way much longer… What furniture do you want in your study?
ALEXANDER. I’d like walnut with dark-blue velvet upholstery.
TAFAYEVA. That’s very nice… I’ll put an armchair near your desk and sit and watch when you work. That will be wonderful, won’t it?
ALEXANDER. Yes…
TAFAYEVA. You answered mechanically…. What were you thinking about?
ALEXANDER. About you…
TAFAYEVA ( embracing Alexander ). I can’t be an hour without you.
ALEXANDER ( affectionately ). Yuliya, my dear, you mustn’t love so absolutely… That’s passion…
TAFAYEVA. Why not!
ALEXANDER. Passion can’t be reasonable…
TAFAYEVA. You don’t mean you love reasonably?
ALEXANDER. I? No, of course not! (Passionately kisses her. )
TAFAYEVA. Stay here!
ALEXANDER. I can’t… I have business to attend to… Goodbye, my beloved…
TAFAYEVA. Till tomorrow! (They kiss. )
SCENE 14
Alexander’s room. Evsei in the entryway is, as usual, polishing boots to a high gloss and muttering to himself. Two big porcelain vases are new among the room’s furniture. Enter Pyotr Ivanovich and Elizaveta Alexandrovna.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. I especially thank you. You did me a favor beyond my expectations! And you were so modest. “I can’t,” he says. “I don’t know how!” Doesn’t know how indeed! I’ve wanted to see you for a long time, but it was impossible to catch you. Well, I’m very grateful! Did you receive the vases undamaged?
ALEXANDER. I shall send them back.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. What’s this? They’re yours by all rights. You wrapped up this little deal… And my silly Surkov almost went crazy. Two weeks ago
he ran in to my office quite beside himself. I knew at once… “Oh, it’s you,” I said. “What’s the good news?” “Nothing good,” he says. “I’ve come with bad news about your nephew.” “Why, what’s this?” I ask. “You frighten me, tell me right away!” At this he begins to shout. “You yourself complained,” he says, “that he didn’t work much, but you’re the one who’s taught him idleness. You introduced him to Yuliya, and now he sits at her house from morning to night.” You see how he lies about you out of rage. Do you really sit there from morning till night, is it true?
ALEXANDER ( murmurs ). Yes… I sometimes… visit…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. “Sometimes”–that’s different. I say to Surkov, “That’s no big misfortune. ” And he to me. “What do you mean, ‘no misfortune.’ A young man must work… Why does he take her a bouquet of flowers every day? What does that cost in winter?”
ALEXANDER. Sometimes… that’s true… I did bring…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. You see, again “sometimes.” Not every day. Give me the bill. I’ll pay. “They’re always,” he says, “taking walks, just the two of them, where there are few people.”
ALEXANDER. I have several times… that’s correct… gone walking with her…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Even so, not every day. I knew he was lying. “This Alexander now! What a nephew!” In sum, Surkov exaggerated to the point of insisting you were up to your ears in love with Tafayeva.
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. Pyotr Ivanovich!
PYOTR IVANOVICH. What?
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. I forgot to tell you. A servant came just now with a letter from the Lukyanovs.
PYOTR IVANOVICH. I know, I know… where was I?
ELIZAVETA ALEXANDROVNA. Isn’t it time we had dinner, Pyotr Ivanovich?
PYOTR IVANOVICH. We’re going right now… Since you mentioned dinner, by the way, Surkov says that you dine there almost every day, Alexander, especially Wednesdays and Fridays. The devil knows what lies he told, I got fed up. Look, it’s Friday today, and here you are. Come dine with us.
ALEXANDER ( alarmed ). Uncle, I can’t. I have letters to write… translations…
PYOTR IVANOVICH. Well, do your work by all means, we won’t prevent you… You did your job, Alexander, and expertly. Don’t bother with it further. You needn’t call on her any more. I can imagine how boring it is there! When you need money, ask me! Let’s go, Liza! (Noticing that Alexander is looking at Elizaveta Alexandrovna. )I’ll wait for you in the carriage, Liza! But don’t take too long, I’m hungry… ( Exits. )
An Ordinary Story Page 44
